January, 2000

Hello Again Readers,

A Happy Year 2,000 to you all!

FREE pheromones!
For those of you just joining us, welcome and yes, I REALLY give away free pheromones every issue. If you want to be in the running, all you have to do is submit the survey found towards the end of every newsletter. This month’s lucky survey-ees are Roxann and Kyle.

Bruce Boyd
editor
Sendai, Japan
news@love-scent.com
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Sources:
I am signed up with two services that notify me of any new appearance of pheromone research or other news anywhere on the web. I also periodically run searches on the medical research web-sites to see if any new material pops up, and of course I get occasional hot tips from you, my “alert readers”, some of whom, (unlike me) actually know what they are talking about. I have also been known to read books. (remember those old-fashioned things?)

I’m also interested in printing personal experiences with pheromones, so if you have something to enter in that area please send it in. I can leave your name off or print it as you like.

Pheromone News may be distributed freely, if the sign-up information is included. Original material is copyright protected.

Send articles and personal stories to:
news@love-scent.com
Back issues and sign up located at:
http://www.love-scent.com/zine
You can also sign up by sending a blank e-mail to:
pheromone-subscribe@listbot.com
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This Issue’s pheromone “News”:

*December’s Survey/Contest Results
*pheromone Q and A
*Feature Article: Not all Roses
-Bruce Boyd
*This month’s “Free pheromones” Survey/Contest
*New Products
*pheromones in the Cinema
*User Corner; Reader pheromone Story
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December’s Survey Results

WINNERS:
Our drawing winners (drawn at random from sent-in surveys) are:
Roxann and Kyle.
~*Congratulations!*~
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RESULTS:

#1. Where would you advise a single person to look for a mate?
—Answers in order of popularity (most to least)—
Normal daily activities (eg: shopping etc.) 11 votes
Activities that you yourself enjoy (eg: skiing etc.) 5 votes
Church 4 votes
Online chats etc. 4 votes
Class or school 4 votes
Work 4 votes
Activity Clubs 3 votes

#2. Is it the responsibility of the man to make the first move?
No: 17 votes
Yes: 15 votes

#3: Is it practical for women to approach men?
Yes: 19 votes
No: 5 votes

#4: What can women do to let a man know that his advances would be welcome?
Smile: 14 votes
Make eye contact: 6 votes
Body Language: 4 votes

#5: Are bars a viable option for finding a “meaningful relationship?”
No: 24 votes
Not the best: 9 votes
Yes: 3 votes
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SELECTED HIGHLIGHTS!

Question #1. Where would you advise a single person to look for a mate?

M: I have found that most of my “mates” have come from either work or school (when I was there). Of course me not being the truly outgoing type, I haven’t found places like gyms or clubs to work very well for me.

F: Get a job in retail. People love it when you help them shop. They associate your kindness and helpfulness as the perfect personality to hook up with anyone who’s not attached. Youth organizations are another great option, make a great impression on the kids and people think you’re great.

One can find a mate just about anywhere, but it has been my experience that clubs are a good place to find someone. A majority of the people at a club are also looking for a mate, so your chances are pretty good. Also, in a club I feel okay going up to someone and initiating a conversation, where as in a place such as the supermarket, I would not approach a stranger.

F: I think if you just go about doing things that you enjoy doing, if you happen to meet someone, then you will have something in common with them ….such as a walk on the beach, or at a park,

F: There are many places to look for a mate. I have even found good men in chat rooms on the computer and even dated a couple. Now one turned out to be very special while the other i said goodbye to in less than an hour. Both times I met them at public places where other people were around.

Question #2: Is it the responsibility of the man to make the first move?

F: In some societies, women will never make the first move beyond returning a smile or glance. Generally, women WANT men to approach them. Not only do they feel womanly, but they will be assured that YOU are interested in them, instead of thinking you are humoring them by engaging in conversation which was initiated by the female.

F: Since I am shy I always wait for the man to make the first move..but I do try to send signals if I’m interested in someone like eye contact and a big smile.

F: YES! I think that is the best way. Unfortunately, in the US women think that because we must be “equal” that it includes making moves on men first.

F: I don’t feel it is the “responsibility” of the man, I have approached many men over the years, but it does help a woman if the man says hello and begins a conversation.

F: No, but if he doesn’t, he should make a return move back quickly if he is interested. Women need to feel that they are wanted and if a guy does not do his share of the moves, then she will not feel right about the relationship. Shyness and insecurity on a man’s part is not attractive even if the woman chooses to look beyond that and make the first move.

Question #3: Is it practical for women to approach men? (when, where, how)

F: It’s practical in almost every situation for a woman to go up and approach a man.. if you want something.. you should go for it.

M: My experience is women can be very creative about approaching guys. Where? grocery store is good. When? You have to take advantage of the opportunity that presents itself. How? Walk up, Smile and ask a question as an ice breaker.

F: You’re hanging out someplace, you notice this guy seems to be looking at you a lot. You think he’s nice, why not say Hi. Look up, smile, and say Hi. If he is interested, he’ll come right over.

Question #4: What can women do to let a man know that his advances would be welcome?

F: By talking and smile and showing that she is pleased that he is talking with her. Making small gestures, pretending that there is an eyelash on his cheek and gently removing it allows for them to get closer and to initiate some form of touch.

F: Women can let men know that his advances are welcome very simply by making direct eye contact and a sweet smile. If you really want to get your message across slightly nod your head (just a little) while still making eye contact and to get even more sensual about it slowly lick your top lip, just your top lip slowly, followed by a crooked little grin. Body language is important so uncross your arms if they are crossed.

M: Flirting has always worked with me.

M: For me, the best thing someone can do is just come out and tell me.

F: Body language is the biggest factor in deciding whether someone is approachable or not.

Question #5: Are bars a viable option for finding a “meaningful relationship?”

F: Bars are great if you’re just interested in a one night stand, or if you’re interested in meeting a married man or a traveler. Coffee shops seem to have replaced bars for a meeting place.

M: No. Too many alcoholics, desperate people, or people who’ s lives are already a mess. They are searching for pleasure, not love.

NO- not for a meaningful relationship. Usually people in bars are not in their right minds- especially if they’ve been drinking or smoking. They dress up and are not their “usual” selves, which is what you would want to see if you planned on being with someone forever.

There are people who have met at bars and have developed meaningful relationships but I personally feel that bars are a high risk option. Unless there is a lot of dancing going on – most people who go to bars go to drink and your chances of meeting a person with problems is probably higher in a bar than at a single social function.

F: Well i married the man i met at a bar and danced all night with……. and I didn’t think it would ever turn into a relationship….. just goes to show … you never can tell.. so don’t risk missing your chance

#5. Other Comments:

M: Get over your fear and talk to people, men and women. As a result of these conversations you will meet people, and some of those people will be date-able. I had a conversation once with a man at a bar and minutes later his very attractive female friend returned and I was successful in dating her, because we met by me being introduced by her friend.

F: Always be yourself……. always be friendly….. you will impress them much more with who you are then who you want them to think you are…..

M: My advise is: Just be yourself.
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pheromone Q and A:

Q: How does it [pheromone supplementation] work to add fire to a long term relationship?

A: Based mainly on the many letters I get, this situation is one of the hardest areas in which to notice change, but I personally and many others have had some luck. Changes take longer than with folks you don’t know very well, so they don’t seem so dramatic. In my experience, people you know well tend to get you pegged and don’t rely on their nose so much. Also, if you saw my recent article in December’s Pheromone News (http://love-scent.com/zine/issues) you know that as people get older not only does their pheromone production go down, so does their ability to detect and react to pheromones. In my case, my wife is 20 years younger than I am so pheromones are perfect for me. I am nearly 50, so my natural pheromone levels are low, but my wife is only 30 and reacts rather strongly to the popular products I have tried.

I don’t know how long your “long term” relationship is, but in any case, don’t let me discourage you if you want to give supplementation a try anyway. Virtually all products are guaranteed to get results these days. Give it a try. If you don’t see results, get your money back.

Another thing to remember: As I’m sure you know, marriage is a very complex social experience. Keeping the fires going is a many many sided project.

Good Luck,
Bruce

**Hey Readers** Want to put your 2 cents in on this one? See this month’s survey below!
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Feature Article:
Not All Roses
-Bruce Boyd

I came across a fascinating article on the internet some time ago entitled “Can Animals Really Smell Fear?” by Sharon Lynn. On rereading it again this morning however, it finally dawned on me how crucial this information is to a useful understanding of the role that pheromones play in our daily lives.

To review for a moment, if you’ve been reading the Pheromone News, you may remember that pheromone production is closely tied to hormone production in the body. In fact, hormones are the building blocks from which pheromones are made as they (hormones) are secreted out of the body in our sweat and acted upon by the bacteria on our skin. Since most folks reading this e-zine are interested primarily in pheromones in their role as sexual attractant, we have focused mainly on the known sex-attractors, namely: copulins and the two andro pheromones (androstenone and androstenol). Quite naturally enough, these pheromones are strongly linked with the production of their corresponding sex hormones, but is that really all the information that is of interest to us as social creatures?

Here is an illustration. In the world of commercial pheromones for men, we are looking at only two available active ingredients, androstenone and androstenol. As the “andro” would seem to imply, in nature the production of both of these pheromones is directly related to the well-known male sex hormone, testosterone. And from what I’ve read, it seems reasonable to assume for the time being, that if a certain male is high in testosterone, he will be high in the popular male andro pheromones as well. Now, as you may or may not know, when professional athletes take “steroid” drugs, what they are actually shooting for (literally) is a dramatic increase in testosterone levels, which in turn is well-known for dramatically increasing muscle mass, strength, and endurance, AND apparently pheromone levels. So, does taking steroids automatically turn one into the hotest stud-muffins in town? Well, as we say here in Japan, “so nani amakunai” (it ain’t that sweet). After reading the article about animals and fear I realized the innate weakness of testosterone boosting programs as a means of achieving pheromone dominance. High testosterone may well lead to high sex pheromones (of which we know of only two so far), but can just as easily break down into any of thousands of other pheromones that may have positive, neutral or even very negative effects on our social situation. Towering youthful or drug-induced sex hormone levels are also linked to higher levels of the cortico-steroid or “stress hormones” in the body, which I am now convinced break-down into their own particular stress pheromones on our skin and breath. The message “I am seriously stressed out here” may be of use if you are waving a gun around and trying to get a bank guard to open a safe for you, but is not likely to get you where you want to go if you’re looking for the love of your life at your local church social.

“Stress pheromones?!?!” Smelling like fear? Don’t believe it? A writer and dog trainer for the “K-9 Academy, Law Enforcement Trainer’s Resource Center” says you can easily train a dog to “pick out people who are afraid” and continues: “a guilty person’s odor is coming out like a smoke bomb and smells of fear.” And another trainer, Morris R. Atwell, who works specifically with dogs that are being trained to find dead bodies, relates that although on occasion they have the opportunity to use “real live” dead bodies for training, when none are available, they must use dummies and a synthetic bottled scent (ie: commercial pheromone-like substance!). I swear I am not making this up…the fragrance goes by the name “Fear and Trauma.”

Woman at the fragrance counter (in a soft breathy voice): “Would you like to try our latest men’s cologne? It’s veeeery sexy! It’s ‘Fear and Trauma’ by Calvin Kline. They say it brings out your ‘inner cadaver’. It drives me wild! Try a little.”
Male Customer: “Umm..you know, I’d really love to, but um, you know..I promised my wife I’d straighten out my sock drawer this afternoon, and I really have to be going now…”

But in any case, don’t forget to smile!
Bruce
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Survey/Contest time!

Since last month’s survey was so heavily slanted towards singles, this month I’d like to focus on the needs of us married folk. As usual those of the opposite persuasion (ie singles) are invited to help out here. I’m sure there are plenty of you that have logged more successful “long-term relationship” miles than many of the officially hitched crowd.

After the Honeymoon

I never thought it would happen, but I’ve finally reached a point in my life where I watch a 90 minute romantic comedy like “Pretty Woman” (for example), and as the final credits roll across the screen I have to turn to my wife and say “Now the interesting part is about to begin….brooding New York millionaire marries screwball California prostitute after a one week courtship.” I mean really….if you wanted to bet on the success of that relationship, just think of the odds you could get with the median American marriage survival rate running around 50%. Well, saving the entire institution of marriage goes way beyond the scope of this zine, but if we put our heads together here, maybe we can come up with some ideas on putting a little romantic fire and fun back in our long-term relationships once that initial glow has worn off and we’ve been in and out of the trash a few times.

1. What do you think can be done to fuel and/or rekindle romantic feelings in a long-term relationship?

2. What are some of the pitfalls that couples fall into that destroy natural romantic feelings, and how can those pitfalls be avoided/repaired?

3. Your age, sex and marital (relationship) status

Other comments:

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As usual, I will pick prize winners from the survey entries at the rate of at least 1 per 50 entries with a minimum of 2 winners each month. Last month there were only 49 entries (*way* down from 148 the month before) and 2 winners (the minimum), which gave entrants about a 1 in 25 chance of winning!

Send completed surveys to:
news@love-scent.com
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