9) My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, 'What's on TV?' I said,

'Dust.'

And that’s when the fight started...



10)

My wife was

hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in

about 3 seconds.'

I bought her a scale.

And that’s when the fight started...



11)

I tried to talk

my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.

Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.



I told her the beer would make her look better

at night than the cold

cream.

And

that’s when the fight started....

12) My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look

big.

I told her

not as much as the dress she wore yesterday.

And that’s when the fight

started.....

13)

A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent

babies. Suddenly, at

3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.



The woman,

bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man

'Holy crap. That must be my husband!'


So the man

jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window.

He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and

to his car as fast as he could go.

A few minutes later, he returned

and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM

your husband!'


The woman yelled back,

'Yeah, then why were you running?'

And that’s when the fight started.....



14)

I asked my wife,

"Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"



It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet

appreciation.

"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.



So I suggested, "How about the

kitchen?"

And

that's when I got killed.