Forum Story about Pheromones (limit 5 sentences per post)

[idesign]

Karl (spelled with a K)

untangled himself from Joey at the back of the BMW, thinking "I have no time for this", even though his private

entanglements with Joey he had found quite satisfactory. Tom poured him a brandy and asked "what's up with

Ignacio?". Karl (spelled with a K) looked over and observed Ignatio observing the woman's crotch at close range,

his face a resemblance to the "Soul's Awakening". Joey, observing Ignatio, then observing Karl observing Ignatio,

scurried to hide under the rear of the car just where the scratching noise was emanating.

[idesign]

"O what a tangled web we weave,

when first we practice to deceive" or, in Joey's case, outright theft. Poker night at Ignatio's was a special

treat for Joey, not for for the game or comraderie with similarly dysfunctional members of the community, but for

the long bathroom breaks during which he would sneak into the bedroom and rifle Ignatio's panty collection. The

"Hello Kitty" caper, weeks before, was not planned, but rather a reaction to a noise at the bedroom door after which

the panties made a beeline from Joey's nose to his pocket in under a second.

Later that night, in the mellow

glow of sublime afterburn, he had told a woman (who's name escaped him, like so many names) that he had bought them

for her in the hope that it would display his true feelings for her, which she could not quite process after

breathing half a dozen pheromones in half that many hours.

His hands around the tailpipe (of the BMW), Joey

pondered these things, and pondered the atomizer which he had installed in the woman's car which was making that

awful scratching sound, and was wondering how he would extricate himself from the impending fury which was sure to

follow.

[idesign]

If fate is the playground of the

gods, then Joey must certainly be one of their favorite toys. Joey was thinking this, though in not such

philosophical terms, as his thoughts usually ran along the lines of self preservation. Not only had he stolen

Ignatio's panties, but he'd given them to Tom's new girlfriend who, in fit of NPA induced wanton behavior, agreed

to a private game of ring toss after a particularly fun night at the PM club.

Tom, who until now was focused upon

making the strange evening more pleasant for everyone, had not yet observed the crime scene in any detail, or the

woman who's splayed legs were being manipulated by Ignatio in the hope that a definitive identification of her

panties could be made.

Karl (yes yes yes, K) began to fume, Joey wept as his fist had no effect on the atomizer,

and Tom, finally, began to absorb the unique qualities of the scene.

[idesign]

In any group of friends -

particularly such as we find here - there is an anchor; a member who's personal qualities are less likely to raise

the hair on the back of necks and who provide social legitimacy at critical moments, such as when entering a bar.

Tom, the very last of the Truly Nice Guys, starred in this role with Biblical patience but not (we should hasten to

add) without a somewhat guilty eye toward the social ladder upon who's bottom rung he clung with increasing

weariness.

Having drawn too late the bead on Joey, Ignacio and Karl, he maintained his presence in the group with

a hair trigger on his better sensibilities, and had placed no small amount of hope on a woman he met the PM

club.

Different from the other girls he had met there, she exuded a soft sensuality that spoke in the warm tones

of cozy weekends tucked in a cabin far away from the PherHotel, that tawdry excrescence directly adjacent to the PM

club, where hormone-crazed "Moners" gathered after hours to practice their art.

As the full scene of the evening

exploded suddenly in his brain, he uncorked the bottle of Cognac and pulled hard on its magical properties.

[idesign]

Francine's unique manipulation

of the English language notwithstanding, she was a girl who understood many things, mostly on an intuitive level,

and was known to have the capability to put men on notice if her lines were crossed. But her heart was intact, and

those who invested the time necessary to cross the divide were rewarded with many times the dues paid to enter her

world, where peace reigned overall and sensual bliss was but the work of a free afternoon, or morning, or lunch

break in the Lingerie fitting room at Nordstrom's where Tom worked. They were an imaginative pair, and costume

changes only heightened Tom's awareness that all things worthwhile came wrapped in red.

[idesign]

A life of privilege and

prettiness did not prepare Francine for the soft emotions she felt toward Tom, nor the emotional maturity to deal

with a flood of pheromones entering her brain via Joey's Auto-Atomizer II, nor the industrial pumps at the PM Club

which fed its guests with a pheromonal atmosphere which a politician would call either criminal or divine, depending

on who was in the room. And to say that Francine was unprepared to deal with the likes of Joey is like saying a

Marineland blonde is unprepared to be eaten by a Killer Whale. The odds are against it, but eventually its going to

happen; nature has its rules.

Tom had lit upon a lovely and meaningful aspect of his future life while Joey

calculated the optimum use of "Hello Kitty" panties.

[idesign]

Joey finally succeeded in

ripping the Auto-Atomizer II from Francine's car just as Karl (K), in a barely controlled fit of organizational

angst, pulled him by the ankles from beneath the car, atomizer and all. Karl's limited mental capacity, coupled

with his failing grade in "Survey of Phero-Technical Apparatus" and his complete incoherence of Joey's radical

social model, rendered him speechless.

Also speechless were Tom and Ignacio, but for different reasons.



Tom, hoping beyond the possibility of hope that the woman laying prostrate on the pavement was any other than

his beloved Francine, staggered toward her as he drank steadily from France's best effort toward peace in the

world.

Losing his now apprehensive balance, Tom bumped Ignacio from the rear, causing Ignacio to plant his face

directly onto the waiting, and still somewhat wanting, mouth of Hello Kitty.