.......
And if it's hard for you to
remember things about people, like names (I'm very guilty of this ) repeat things back to them during the
conversation without sounding like a robot. It will help YOU remember better if you say
them.
Examples:
"Nice to meet you, Rob."
"Wow! Harvard. Really?"
"I've never been to
Pennsylvania. What's it like?"
"And that was after they sewed your thumb back on? Crazy!"
It
keeps the conversation going, and helps little brains like mine remember different people, especially if I meet a
lot of people at once.
"I have a hammer! I can put things together! I can knock things apart! I can alter my environment at will and make an incredible din all the while! Ah, it's great to be male!"
--Calvin & Hobbes
.......
DrSmellThis (creator of P H E R O S)
Great post Matt
It's very important to keep the conversation stimulating. Three of the most obvious ways of doing
this are: Finding some common ground to talk about (not best used in clubs. If used, it's not the most direct
sexually aggressive method, so projecting interest in other ways is important); humour (great for any situation,
full stop. You really can go anywhere very easily with humour, all you need is practice...and a sense of humour
); the skip-the-small-talk "let's talk about sex" method ('nuff said? Remember the kino!).
Synonymous with the above, keeping her interest is also important. A nice way to do this is
something I like to call the "hot and cold" method, which may sound very much like the lame pick up guy type talk,
but it describes something quite simple involving showing restraint and staying cool. Basically, start off the
conversation however you like (as if you were picking her up), and then walk off or start talking to someone else
just before you settle in. The timing isn't that important, just as long as she is still actually talking with you
when you break the conversation. Don't announce your departure too thoroughly (i.e don't excuse yourself), just
find a suitable point and go (note: you don't want to appear a player, so just talk to your mates, but make sure
you left to do something). Hopefully, this will have left her thinking you are a fun guy
that she would have at least talked to for a while longer. If this is obviously not the case, take this opportunity
to escape. The next step is to get talking to her again. Again, timing is not important, in fact overly planning or
forcing any pick up will end in failure 90% of the time. When you talk to her this time, you need to project your
interest in talking to her. Turn your body to face her's gradually (and other interest projecting body language),
make her think that you are really interested in what she has to say, perhaps even initiate some mild kino by softly
touching her arm by the elbow, etc. Your aim is to make her feel good about talking to you and being around you, and
putting your focus on her will help achieve this. You should also remain cool, confident and funny (or
entertaining). Once again, when she is nicely warmed up to you, remove your attention. When you talk to her for the
third time, let her do most of the work. If you had her warmed up when you stopped talking to her, she will be keen
to pick up where you left off.
By doing the above you should
have achieved the following: come across as a confident, fun guy who isn't despirate. You could go out and try it
exactly as I wrote it, but think of that as an experiment, it's best to think of any "technique" as something to
augment you current approach, keeping everything flexable. You could also just do it all in one conversation, simply
by making sure to keep the conversation moving onto the "next level" (how many steps you make it to and how fast
depends on what your aims are), or at least keeping it entertaining.
A classic example of
this I posted on here ages ago. I was with a friend at a party at a bar/small club and his gf was meeting him. When
she came she brought a friend, and I took the piss out of her about her choice of drink and chatted for a minute,
and then turned to my friend. We then went to sit down with some other people and got chatting to her again. After a
while I broke off again to chat to some other people (I think to the Birthday girl), and then came and sat with my
friend again, and she started talking to me. iirc we ended up having a really good convo, but that was it (I had a
gf at the time).
wow nice post there
bro.. you got my rep
I see, IOriginally Posted by surfs_up
see. It seems so beneficial. Why? Because you are getting constant practice that doesn't totaly count. Also you get
the dibs on what your doing wrong or how you can improve your game. Instead of walking away saying to yourself
"Wonder if it was something I said? She totaly shifted gears on me then it went no-where", You get pointers on what
took place in your interaction that probably changed her vibe towards you.
This could not only work for man-women
social skills but for all of your social interactions. I am going to look into it.
Thanks so much and if you
want to add more to this I would surely read it.
Happy
Wow.Originally Posted by CptKipling
Very useful post.
Good part for me:
You're very right. You know I have done the Hot and Cold thing many times
and that really gets them interested. You are playing their game on them.
Bad Part for me:
I did it
unconsciously. lol I didn't try to do it that way it just happend. I never even knew what took place that got her
interested. Now, Thanks to your post I do. I am going to consciously try it the next time I get the chance.
You're right. The real way to get a women wanting more and more is to get her warmed up and then slip away without
being rude. They stay warm that way. You never give them the chance to change gears on you because you have did it
to them first. Instead of controlling the game they are now in a wanting position and are intriged. Great
observation you have made.
Any more tips?
Happy
As I posted in my last post,
another crucial aspect to your conversation is to keep it moving in the direction you want to take it. If you want
to get her in bed, advance the conversation in steps towards that goal. I find that to be a good way to visualise
it, but basically just don't get stuck talking about the weather or whater, keep moving onto stimulating topics and
see where it takes you.
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