I\'m still not certain how best to exploit DIHLs. They don\'t happen often enough (to me, at least) to gather a huge experience base. Theory is weak too, although we\'ve tried.
My current plan, next time I get one, is to talk softly and try to enter her consciousness by making a personal connection. Touching will often be too jarring, I think, so smooth words and lot\'s of eye contact are the method. The content of what you are saying will focus on togetherness and spur images of pleasure and connectedness - I hope. Speaking with strength and confidence but not aggressively is probably the best policy.
Someone correctly pointed out that trust is necessary, if not sufficent, in a woman allowing herself to share sex with a man. No trust - no sex - seems reasonable to me. Therefore, let her draw you into her world.
This is vague, I realize, but it\'s a place to start.
Good luck, men.
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