Hi. I have been here before asking questions and this is the only way I learn. I can be a little slow

at first but I quickly catch on quickly. I am 25. I am starting to understand how hormones and how human nature

works. Alright. Bear with me lol. I am doing this Drug Study Job. I been to a few drug studies an this is my 3rd

study.

I basically lived a sheltered life when I was younger. Lived with my grandma an uncle. I played computer

games most of my life an started to get out during my college years. Thats why I am uncomfortable with beautiful

women. They don't like nice guys and dats a wrap! haha!

Well, anyway about my job (drug study) its a month

long. Started Jan. 17th 2009 an ends Feb. 25th. Broken up in 4 peroids 5-6 days in 5 days out. That type of deal. I

do have a decent personality. Women compliment me that I'm handsome. Older women. None my age. Not worried bout dat

at da moment. lol. I always knew I had a lil better than average looks lol. I'm not tryin to brag. The way I dress

is basically like a black boi. Basically I am a black boi trapped inside a white bois body lol. (Sometimes I do wear

du-rags) I've had some white girls compliment me on my clothes so my swaggar isn't bad. Now here is the tough

part I cannot figure out:

There are dudes I know that look at me with aggressivness or feel intimidated some

give me a vibe like they wanna compete against me.

Myself I talk to about anyone who I feel comfortable with.

Like dis one tall white dude that dresses no wear near as good as I do. I think he feels weird vibes from me when I

try to be a friend. He shrugs his shoulders and walks away or when I say whats up tom he says Nothing. lol. So I

pick on him at times then I'm nice to him just to fuck with him more. (No I am not gay lol) I think either I'm a

lil more intemidating or I have sorta an ALPHA Male type of scent. I know when he talks to me he always catches me

off guard an I do the same thing back to him. When I dew fucks wit him he turns his head an nods his head no

thinking I'm fucked up. lol. Maybe I'm a lil crazi. But hey aren't we all in our own weird lil ways

By da

way da dude acts a lil femimine. Couple of girls pay a lil more attention to me than him haha. I basically prefer

black women/light skinned women. I just don't mess with white girls. (You know the saying once you go black you

don't go back) well I apply to dat rule. lol

I've been in a relationship with a white girl who was 31 when I

was 18. My first real girl an she was a lil psycho. an she had a kid. So that kinda messed em up. My second real

girl was a real pretty black girl named Jacenta. I lucked out like a month haha she was a virgin hahaha! (Wanna know

da funny part I acted completely like a wussbag to get it.) Then I said something about my grandma may not approve

our relationship so I fucked it up. oops my bad on me. later although she tried pushing me away because I was too

nice lol. Aw well. Learn and move on. I even fell in love with her cause she was real pretty black girl. I was a

wussbag at 19 still lol.

Now the point of my whole thread is this: There is this one short light skinned black

dude. about 35 and I think either he has more of an ALPHA male or a lot of testostrone build up. He seems cool with

most folks but he gets aggressive with me. He raises his voice and asks why is my bunk beneath his. During phase 3.

Last phase 2 he kept looking at me. So, one night in the bunk area he was talking to another person. So I said

wassup. My name is david in a polite way. He seemed real calm at first introduced himself to me we talked for a

minute then I walked away. I felt weird talking to him. But when hes around me hes real aggressive like he wants to

kick my ass that type of vibe. So, when he says something I feel as an insult I listen take it in then always say a

smart thing back.

Example: The othernight sunday the second day after we checked in I put my phone on charge. It

was 10:00 at night. I walk in leave da door open: He's says, "Close da door man." I then reply, "I'm tryin ta find

my fone dawg!" He reply's, "Yo you left it on da charger doggy." I then say, "Oh it must of slipped from my poor

brain." He says, "You need ta start remembering where you put your shit buddy." Feeling insulted I reply, "Yea no

problem skippy." He takes it as an insult says WAT? I say, "You heard me farealz." He says don't call me skippy I

say don't call me buddy. End of discussion. haha. I know I remember stuff like dis.

I finally quit

masturbating and quit smoking weed. My testostrone and thinking process is better than ever. Now to find out what

type of scent I have. (I think I have one of the three A Scents.) I know how to approach women say something nice

have them to smile then when I talk I think its the body language I use that make em walk away. I noticed it with

older women too. By the way, thinking back in memory lane I was 15. I knew a few girls from school. One evening this

stupid girl came up to me and said, "Let me smell you. She said you have no smell." I'm thinking ok thats just

weird. Then she walked away with another dude. I'm thinkin hmmm maybe I need colone. lol I knew I used dedorant."

Thats when I was a kid though lol.

Anyway,

I also had this other black dude that kept looking at me evily.

So, the otherday during lunch there is this very pretty hispanic girl that works there. Shes married. I hear all da

guys saying I would fuck her an all dat. Shes married and I have more respect an don't say my oponion. Although she

looks at me weird at times. I feel like don't be nice to her.

So she asked what the piece of paper was for of

us writing our names on it: So I meant to be a lil aggressive with her. I tell her, "Yo thats to sign for us to be

treated with lice aight." In a loud voice. (Yea someone had lice an everyone had to get their hair checked. No one

in our study had it. Someone else did.) Anyway, the black dude looked at me an laughed. Then hes all friendly to me

cause I was mean to a hott hispanic lady. What is up with dat??? Now hes asking what games I have fa my gamecube. I

feel confused so I don't wanna get to friendly with someone I felt thats gives me weird vibes. He even complimented

me today on my swagger an said I dress and act pretty black fa a white boi. I used my manners an said thank you. an

I say I'm like a sheep in wolves clothing. he laughed lol. Today we had to check out. Vitals, naltraxzone an sign a

paper on the way out. This one hott light skinned girl around my age always looks at me but I wont talk to her cause

I tried talking to her in the 1st phase. It went cool for like 2 mins then I guess I talked to much so she sorta

drifted away from me. It hurt my feelings so I wont even try to talk to her. She knows I like her though cause she

catches me looking at her. She looks at me back and I glance away feeling ashamed of myself. (See subconciously I

feel I'm not attractive enough fa her) I dunno. sigh.

All in all, guys are cool with me then somedays they act

real cocky (Prolly cuz we all crammed up in there together. Its rough.) with me. except my real true friends which I

keep to a miminum. I am 6'2 and weigh 170lbs. I do have a bit of muscle cause I work out doe.

Guess I look

like a solder with an alpha male appearance but I'm real nice doe. I just don't understand why guys do this to me.

All my life. When I was in highschool I was made fun of a lot cause I felt always tired and slow in class.



Probabley cause I masturbated my whole life and wasn't getting laid. Now I am better than I ever was. I am

teaching myself self disclipline.

Sorry folks if some of you dont understand where I'm comning from but if

anyone does please feel free to reply to this topic. I want to know which phermones to try where I'm relaxed an

where other people feel more relaxed around me especially stangers upon first impressions.

I'm so scared to

waste my money on which phermone products to buy until I truely have a better understanding of myself. (Should I USE

SOE or -none products.) I know I don't need any more alpha male products lol.

I use to cry a lot when I was

young just because of not getting laid. I'll admit. But not hardly now. I'm getting stronger spirtually and

mentally. haha! I'm here to make friends too Hit me back farealz! Holler haha!