Things you may want to say but don't, or do you?
1) I
can see your point, but I still think you're full of schitt.
2) I don't know what your problem is, but I'll
bet it's hard to pronounce.
3) How about never? Is never good for you?
4) I see you've set aside this
special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5) I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see
it my way.
6) I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7) I'm out of my mind, but feel free to
leave a message.
8) I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9) It sounds like English, but I can't understand
a word you're saying.
10) Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
11) I like you. You remind
me of when I was young and stupid.
12) You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13) I have
plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.
14) I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your
mouth.
15) I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16) Thank you. We're all
refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17) The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean
you're an artist.
18) Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19) What am I?
Flypaper for freaks!?
20) I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21) It's a thankless job, but
I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22) Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23) And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
24) Do I look like a people person?
25) This
isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26) I started out with nothing & still have most of it
left!
27) Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28) If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29) Errors
have been made. Others will be blamed.
30) Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed it.
31) I'm
trying to imagine you with a personality.
32) A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33) Can I
trade this job for what's behind door #1?
34) Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
35) How do I
set a laser printer to stun?
36) I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
37) File
that under "Never".
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