Every time this

topic comes up, people ask for references. So here is a thread where we can post references and reviews. I will

only mention titles. You will have to see if you can buy these books or not. I found many of the books by browsing

the \"Sales and Marketing\", \"Self Help\", and \"Relationships\" sections at local book stores. There seems

to be no rhyme or reason to where they are placed.

Body Language by Julius Fast. Not very detailed.

This book is good for people who want to learn more about marking turf than anything else. He spends a lot of the

book talking about personal space and other kinds of space. You can learn about dominating the regions around

you.

How to read a person like a book by Gerald I. Neirenberg and Henrey H. Calero. Extensively

illustrated, this book covers basic gestures, posturing, and how to identify roles within relationships (friends,

lovers, bosses and subordinates, etc.). This book has some useful guidelines for negatioting with other people,

including tips for men on how to read women\'s receptiveness.

Body Language Secrets by Susan

Quilliam. Includes a lot of pointless or goofy illustrations, but it is broken up into a lot of How-To sections

which explain how you can work your way into new groups, new situations, etc. by employing skillful body

language.

Reading People by Jo-Ellen Dimitrius and Mark Mazzarella. Very good introduction to reading

people. She is a Ph.D. with extensive research experience. He is a successful trial attorney. She consults on

jury selection. She is a very detail oriented person and her perspective helps you realize how to look beyond the

usual signs people try to broadcast. It IS possible to lie through body language, but she holds that there are

usually tell-tale signs which contradict the lies.

Body Language Secrets by Don Steele. He is a

retired psychologist of some sort who worked with families and studied body language. This book is not nearly as

good as it is hyped up to be by Steele and his followers. But it is still a good introduction to the body language

of meeting, courting, and seducing people. He gives tips to both men and women. Includes many pictures of Steele

and his wife. Steele has a preachy, amateurish writing style. He claims to have had affairs with dozens of women

many years younger than him. He exudes confidence and is a dominant male. About half this book seems to be devoted

to selling you his other books. But he does go into details on how to send certain signals and provides many lists

and anecdotes on things to do, not to do in social situations.

Freeway of Love by Jan Latiolais

Hargrave. This is a dumbed-down, \"What colour is your parachute\" kind of book for people who want to learn

about body language and how to use it to meet and court other people. She relies on illustrations which are not

quite as goofy as Quilliam\'s book. She also has a lot of self-tests with scores. Many women writers like this

sort of thing, and the book may be more appealing to men. Nonetheless, it IS a woman\'s perspective on body

language and men need to take that into consideration. She provides chapters on palm reading and kissing (complete

with statistics and anecdotes).

I know what you\'re thinking by Lillian Glass. She is a practicing,

clinical psychologist who has had to rely on body language in many situations. Her book is, in my opinion, by far

the best one out there that I have found. She is not concerned with preaching \"how to get into anyone\'s

pants\" or \"how to find true love\". She takes you on a guided tour of the basic human psyche and how we reveal

our inner feelings through the way we physically express ourselves.

None of these books, by themselves, will

teach you enough about body language to make up for a lifetime of ignoring it. Several of them, on their own, are

very good introductions to body language. Several of them give really good information on how to use body language

at work, in friendly social situations, and when dealing with strangers.

They will show you how other people

evaluate you, and why they reach the conclusions they do about what kind of person you are. If you decide to change

your body language, you are in effect changing your attitude about yourself. So, for anyone who feels a lack of

confidence or low self-esteem, I think reading books on body language would be very, very helpful.

It reveals

an entirely different world to you.

Today, for example, after I got out of dance class, I went to have lunch

at a local bistro. I was seated in a section where I could look out the window (the hostess knows I like that

section). But they were short on servers so my server had to handle five or six tables.

At the booth in

front of me, there was a couple, an older man and younger woman. Their body language told me that A) they are very

much in love B) they are going through a happy period in their life C) they only have eyes for each

other.

How did I know that? First of all, they were sitting on the same side of the booth. Secondly, one or

both of them would usually put a hand between his or her face and me. They made frequent, intense eye contact.

They leaned in toward each other. They mirrored each other\'s expressions and postures. I observed all this as

discretely as I could out of the corner of my eye. I made sure I changed the direction of my gaze frequently, but I

had plenty of people to watch.

At a table directly across from the booth with the age-gap couple, a young man

and woman walked in. He sat down on her left. She crossed her legs and leaned back. His legs were wide open. She

crossed her arms. She stole occasional looks at me (she had to turn and look over her shoulder to do this). He let

his gaze wander around. They did not talk much. His feet figdeted (bounced up and down like he was doing a pee-pee

dance in his chair).

What I learned from that couple was that she is not very interested in him, he is not

nearly as confident with her as he may once have been. They could have been brother and sister, or cousins, but I

don\'t think so. Relatives usually have a lot to say when they sit down to lunch. She made occasional efforts to

talk to him, but at one point I noticed that both of her feet were pointing toward me. That had to be a very

uncomfortable posture, as one foot was still wrapped behind the other leg.

She was not nearly as attracted to

her companion as she was to me. I was wearing scent of Eros but was also a bit sweaty after two hours of vigorous

dancing. I was probably screaming pheromonically.

At a table behind this couple, a woman and her teenage or

early twenties daughter came in. Mom sat in a chair facing me, the daughter sat with her right shoulder pointing

toward me (same as the girl at the other table). Mom cast occasional glances my way in a fairly protective way. I

knew she didn\'t want me to make eye contact with her daughter.

The daughter crossed her left leg over her

right leg and let her sandle dangle on the edge of her toe. She kept looking at me when Mom was looking away. When

she saw me looking back, she immediately turned away. She turned her shoulders slightly so that I could see her

breasts better (she was simply wearing a t-shirt, but she was still obviously developed).

Mom looked relieved

when I pulled a $20 bill out of my wallet and asked the server for my check. Not that I was going to move in on the

daughter or anything. But I was the only single male within speaking distance and it was obvious that the daughter

was interested in me. I was a threat, however remote, to Mom\'s little girl.


Let\'s back up to

dance class. The second class for was beginners. Lots of cute girls showed up. I and several other advanced

students stayed around to help. I flirted with the girls a little but there was no way I could really come on to

them openly.

But I could show them I was a powerful, confident male. I did this in several ways, including

telling them they could dance with their eyes closed. I ordered three of them to close their eyes as I led them

through the routine. This was an act of submission, because they were trusting me NOT to make them look stupid and

NOT to trip them or lose them.

One of the girls, the oldest one (she is in her mid-twenties) came to me in

one rotation and locked eyes with me. She said, \"Let\'s see who blinks first.\" She did. I was supposed to

turn my gaze away as I led her through a certain basic move, but for her I just kept staring into her eyes. Her

pupils began widening (I am sure mine did, too -- or maybe they were already huge).

We kept dancing and as I

whirled her around I brought her in closer to me, very close, much closer than the other girls. I was marking my

turf and the other girls knew it. Did anything happen? No. I made no other move on her. I may or may not see her

again. Doesn\'t matter. I let her know I was a sexual creature willing to take things further.

After the

class, she asked the teacher why a continuation course was not being offered at the same time next month. The

teacher said she didn\'t have enough students for that level on Saturday. This girl offered to bring in enough

friends in July to make up a class. As she was doing so, she was looking at the teacher but her body was facing

mine squarely. Her shoulders were pulled back and she was mirroring my posture.

I literally said, \"I could

have you if I wanted to,\" with my body, and then I ignored her. She responded by saying, \"I am interested.\"

I let her walk out of the class by herself without looking her in the eye again.

Like I said, I may never see

her again. But she WANTED to see ME again as she left that class.

THAT is what reading body language is all

about, gentlemen.