What to do/say when you get alot of eye contact?

[CptKipling]

First of all its fine, and very

useful, to think about this kind of stuff now. Just make sure that when your actually interacting with people you

are much less "in your head" and are instead just flowing. If you start trying to micromanage your self like that

the chances are that she'll think you're uncomfortable (which you are, right?).

Even here:

I dont

want to make her uncomfortable by staring at her when im talking with her, so I usually look into her eyes when

talking then look down or to the side.

You are thinking too much.

HOWEVER, a general rule is that you

should try to be the last person to break eye contact. Your probably worried that you're going to come across as

creepy or something, but again you're thinking too much. Subconsciously you already know when you've gone too far,

so just let things flow. It's GREAT that she makes a lot of eye contact because this is awesome for building and

manipulating sexual tension. Also, as Mobes points out to look down is *supposedly* an act of submission (NEVER good

if your a man in your average conversation, 99% of the time women want a dominant man to sleep with). After

reading that years ago I found myself breaking eye contact by looking up and too the side when remembering some

something or whatever. Does this make a big difference? No idea! But it feels right and I know that generally I'm

the dominant one in my interactions.

[koolking1]

wow - you'd have to wonder

why she does that. Maybe she's trying to make you fall in love with her, would that be to your liking? If so,

I'd go for it.

Sue and I went out to eat at a new diner here in town last week, won't go back as the food

was dismal. At any rate, a family of three came in and sat at a table behind us. The woman was younger, attractive

and a bit curvy. Our eyes locked for a bit and she wasn't about to let go but I did have to turn away as I was

afraid that Sue might have caught on and I sure don't want to annoy her. I didn't look down but more to the side.

I wonder what kind of body language that is??? BTW, no mones on. I tend not to wear them when it's 2 degrees F

outside.

[MOBLEYC57]

My bet would be that either

she's dominant or already in love. You looking back into her eyes is not a bad thing ... as long as you can produce

a tad bit of a smile instead of looking like you're about to kill her or yourself.

Like the Capitano

said, hi Cap! ... you're thinking too much, and that mostly leads to bad/wrong decisions/answers. For some reason,

when humans filter things, they tend to go with the negative answer instead of the positive. Wonder why that is?

[angelgarcia1989]

I actually thought i was

the dominant one, since she is always asking me for advice (she always makes it seem like she needs help). Really I

never thought too much about the eye contact thing until when one day I think I looked at her a little too long and

she said "why am I giving her the look" of course she said it with a smile. She kept saying that all

period long even when I looked at her for about 2 seconds! i think she was just flirting with me though.

Now back

to me being the dominant one, some of my friends have told me they were intimidated by me when they first saw me or

met me, as well as other people I barley know(Too much mones I guess, i barely found out about ODs on this Site!).

Anyway I think she sees me as person she looks up to, she always tells me her problems then just waits for me to

come up with a solution.

[koolking1]

go for it or

not?

[angelgarcia1989]

go for it or not?

She already has a boyfriend, and I actually convinced her to

break up with her old one to go out with her new one.

[Pendragon]

Not meaning to rain on the

parade.
Although (from experience...) being that involved with a woman's life and not dating her. You may hear

something along the lines of "your such a nice guy. why ruin our special friendship" or simiilar impression that

your considered more her brother than a dating prospect.

[idesign]

First

of all its fine, and very useful, to think about this kind of stuff now. Just make sure that when your actually

interacting with people you are much less "in your head" and are instead just flowing. If you start trying to

micromanage your self like that the chances are that she'll think you're uncomfortable (which you are,

right?).

Could not agree more. Building also on the other responses I think that you should just play it

naturally and let the dynamics play themselves out. I'm one that figures a good female friend is a nice thing to

have, it isn't always about sex.

I think a woman will stare if she's attracted to you, or she's a control

drone. Its easy enough to tell the difference. I think this girl likes you.

[angelgarcia1989]

Could not agree more. Building also on the other responses I think that you should just play

it naturally and let the dynamics play themselves out. I'm one that figures a good female friend is a nice

thing to have, it isn't always about sex.

I think a woman will stare if she's attracted to you, or she's

a control drone. Its easy enough to tell the difference. I think this girl likes you.

Yep, me too

[CptKipling]

What do you want with this

girl? Sorry if I've missed that in the thread...but even if she has a boyfriend and you and her are friends there

is nothing wrong with being honest about what you want. I'm going to assume that you like her because, well, it's

much more fun that way

I actually thought i was the dominant one, since she is

always asking me for advice (she always makes it seem like she needs help).

Seems to me as though she

isn't domineering and even necessarily dominant here, but rather she wants a man that leads strongly. Btw the

reason why good eye contact is a sign of dominance is that to lock eyes with someone creates a lot of tension (even

as part of an apparently neutral conversation there are subtle interplays of tension), and your ability to deal with

that tension and then to manipulate it are indicators of your social experience and

status.

Really I never thought too much about the eye contact thing until when one day I

think I looked at her a little too long and she said "why am I giving her

the look" of course she said it with a smile. She kept saying that all

period long even when I looked at her for about 2 seconds! i think she was just flirting with me

though.

I'd say she was flirting too. You should have definitely said something about the way she was

looking at you! "This look?! No this is me wondering why your looking at me like I'm the tastiest chocolate cake

you've ever seen!" ...or whatever, consider something actually funny

She

already has a boyfriend, and I actually convinced her to break up with her old one to go out with her new

one.

Do you like this girl? If so that was silly

Anyway I think she sees me

as person she looks up to, she always tells me her problems then just waits for me to come up with a

solution.

I'm guessing thats it, maybe she looks up to me like a big

brother? Though she has told me she wishes her boyfriend was more like me.

As Pendragon mentioned this is

dodgy territory. It's possible that she sees you as the typical shoulder-to-cry-on nice guy.

However, as I

mentioned, eye contact builds tension and she is clearly comfortable with this happening with you. Also, what I

highlighted in red is a clear response to your eye contact

triggering sexual tension/attraction. Think about it! Even if she couldn't allow herself to escalate she would have

had to feel the emotion to describe it like that, as "THE look".

Btw none of this is advice as such, because I

don't know either of you or your particular relationship.

Having said that, I think you like her and if I were

you I'd go for it



Hi Mobes!

[BGuy20]

I agree about the eye contact

thing. Holding eye contact longer is a sign of being alpha, so it's almost always better to hold it longer. Just

make sure you don't have a Wes-Bentley-in-American-Beauty creepy look while you're doing it. A playful smile is

probably best.

I'd be careful since she's already in a relationship. I would probably say something to the

effect of "if your feelings aren't in a relationship, it's unfair to you and the other person" since she seems to

be suggesting that she'd rather be with you ("I wish my BF was more like you") and it's not a big brother thing.

If you'd like to have a chance with her, try to be abstract about the relationship so she can be the one who

decides to end it (if she even so decides) instead of thinking it was you. I'd advise against being honest about

what you want if she's in a relationship. The odds of you wrecking things are greater than if you play esoteric

relationship advice guy.

Good luck with this one, I can see many ways in which it could end badly.