I resemble 6.8 of those
remarks.
A distraught senior citizen
phoned her doctor's
office.
[COLOR=#00005b
]"Is it true," she wanted to
know,[/COLOR]
[COLOR
=#00005b]"that the medication you prescribed
has[/COLOR]
to be taken for the rest of my life?""
"Yes, I'm afraid so,"
the doctor told
her.
[COLOR=
#00005b]There was a moment of silence before the senior lady
replied,[/COLOR]
[CO
LOR=#00005b]"I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my
condition[/COLOR]
[COLOR
=#00005b]because this prescription is marked 'NO
REFILLS.'"[/COLOR]
[COL
OR=#00005b]-----------------------------------------[/COLOR]
[/COL
OR]An older gentleman was on the operating
table
[COLOR=#00
0000]awaiting surgery and he insisted that his
son,
[COLOR=#000
000]a renowned surgeon, perform the
operation.[/COLOR]
[COLO
R=#000000]As he was about to get the
anesthesia[/COLOR]
[COLO
R=#000000]he asked to speak to his
son.[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000
000]"Yes, Dad, what is
it?"[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000
000]"Don't be nervous,
son;[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000
000]do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go
well,[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#00
0000]if something happens to me, your mother is going to
come[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000
000]and live with you and your
wife...."[/COLOR]
[COLOR
=#00005b]--------------------------------
---------[/COLOR]
[COLOR
=#000000]Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when
you[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#0000
00]stop lying about your age and start bragging about
it.[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#0000
5b]------------------------------------------[/COLOR][SIZE=2]
[/SI
ZE]The older we get, the fewer things
seem
[COLOR=#000
05b]worth waiting in line
for.[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000
05b]------------------------------------------[/COLOR][SIZE=2]
[/S
IZE]Some people try to turn back their
odometers.
[COLO
R=#000000]Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this
way.[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000
000]I've traveled a long way and some of
the[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#0000
00]roads weren't
paved.[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#0
0005b]--------------------------------------------[/COLOR]
[/COLOR
]When you are dissatisfied and
would
[COLOR=#00
0000]like to go back to
youth,
[COLOR=#0
00000]think of Algebra
class.[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#0
0005b]---------------------------------------------[/COLOR]
[/COLO
R]You know you are getting old when
everything
[COLO
R=#000000]either dries up or
leaks.
[COLOR=#0
0005b]----------------------------------------------[/COLOR]
[/COL
OR]I don't know how I got over the
hill
[COLOR=#000
05b]without getting to the
top.
[COLOR=#000
05b]----------------------------------------------[/COLOR]
[/COLOR
]One of the many things no one tells you about
aging
[COLOR=#00
0000]is that it is such a nice change from being
young.
[COLOR=#0
0005b]-----------------
-----------------------------[/COLOR]
Ah, being young is
beautiful,
[COLO
R=#000000]but being old is
comfortable.[/COLOR]
[CO
LOR=#00005b]-------------------------------------------[/COLOR]
[/
COLOR]Long ago when men cursed and beat the
ground
[COLOR=#0
00000]with sticks, it was called
witchcraft.
[COL
OR=#000000]Today, it's called
golf[/COLOR].[COLOR=#0000
00]
[/COLOR][SIZE=4]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[/S
IZE]
Two old guys are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide. The first old guy says to
the
[COLOR=#0000
00]second guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for
my[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#00000
0]wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was
going."[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#
000000]The second old guy says, "That's OK, It's
a[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000
]coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I
can't[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#0
00000]find her and I'm getting a little
desperate."[/COLOR]
[COL
OR=#000000]The first old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help
you[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#0000
00]find her. What does she look
like?"[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#0
00000]The second old guy says: "Well, she is 27 yrs old!
,[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000
]tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, and is wearing short shorts. What does you wife look
like?"[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#0
00000]To which the first old guy says, "Doesn't
matter,[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#
000000]--- let's go look for
yours."[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#
000000]*********[/COLOR]
Lord,
[COLOR=#40
40ff]Keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my
mouth...AMEN..[/COLOR]
[SIZE=4]Only great
minds can read
this
[/
fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane
mnid too
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd
waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it
dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the
huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot
slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it
FORWARD ONLY IF YOU CAN READ IT.
SIZE]
To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.
Thomas Jefferson
I resemble 6.8 of those
remarks.
I'd post a reply to whatever was
listed but I can't find my glasses...
Wait... what was I doing?
The opposite of love isn't hate.
It's apathy.
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