Memoirs of the Incredibly Stupid

[Pancho1188]

Ahhh, sitting in meetings and reminiscing about more innocent days when I was a shy, quiet kid who kept to

himself...well, as opposed to a friendly, dorky man who keeps to himself after 5:30...I remember the one time when

my dream of actually having a girl come up to me came true...

I was sitting in the cafeteria at lunch with my

best friend when these two girls...two very attractive girls...ask me to come over and talk for a minute. So I

follow them to their table, completely bewildered by the fact that women were actually talking to me, and I sit down

and listen to what they have to say. There I am, sitting with two attractive girls who have the assertiveness to

say, \"Pancho, we just wanted to tell you that we thought you were cute.\" Now, the younger Pancho was the young,

quiet, shy, awkward type who was too amazed by what was happening to him...so taken by the whole new experience that

had never even crossed his mind, and so bad at thinking of anything relatively interesting to say...that he did not

really say anything at all. Now, the Pancho of today would never even think of passing up such an opportunity, but

shyness truly is a paralyzing quality. Alas, nothing was ever mentioned about this situation until today. No other

real conversations, and no \"Man, I should\'ve...\" with my friends afterwards. Just a missed

opportunity.

One could say it was my lack of transportation, \"coolness\", or self-esteem that got in the

way...we were from different crowds, we were totally different people with different lives...one could ponder many

different reasons for keeping someone like young Pancho from living it up in ol\' HS. Nobody can say for certain,

but one can only imagine that some things aren\'t meant to be and some people take much longer to realize things

than others. Maybe one day old Pancho will get hit in the face again with such a great compliment that he does

something about it. Maybe that day will never come. All I know is that you live and learn, and then get

love...

...hopefully...

[franki]

Pancho, you are nothing special.. We all went through these kind of situations and most of us learned from it. It

is just part of getting experiences in life.

[bundyburger]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
Maybe one day old Pancho will get hit in the face

again with such a great compliment that he does something about it.

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">



One day old Pancho wouldn\'t have the capability to even understand the compliment. Would he??

[SwingerMD]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
Pancho, you are nothing special.. We all went

through these kind of situations and most of us learned from it.

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">



Some of us still do. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img] Check out my post in the Big News

thread.

--------------------
<font color=\"blue\"> -SwingerMD </font>

[Pancho1188]

Past

Experiences in the Endless Struggle of the Low Emotional IQ

By Pancho Rivera

I get to the bus stop.

First one there. Man, I just missed the last bus. I stand there knowing I\'ll be waiting a while before the next

one.

\"Been waiting here long?\"

Wow, I\'m glad I missed the last bus.

The lady who uttered these words

had to be the most gorgeous girl I\'ve seen in my area so far...boy, am I glad I missed that bus...here goes

nothing.

\"No, I just got here. When I saw no one here, I thought, \'Man, I just missed it.\'\"

I give

my best boyish smile. Hey, that\'s all I\'ve got, right?

\"So where are you headed?\" I asked. This is my

only shot at trying to act like a normal human being who regularly engages in small talk. Might as well make the

most of it.

\"Downtown. You?\"

\"The same...downtown for work,\" as I try to hide my \'charming\'

(aka disgusting) Pittsburgh accent...dantan is not about to make you look good...not that I\'ve ever said

that thanks to a brilliant education, but you never know when it\'ll slip.

Hmmm, that seems like the end of the

conversation. No response, not enough information to really inquire about her business downtown without

prying...oh, well.

The bus arrives. I get on and she\'s standing right behind me/in front of me when I turn

around. I enjoy the laugh when I think of what would happen if the bus suddenly flew forward and she fell into my

enormous gym bag that looks like it\'s about to give birth to twins. I\'d regret keeping my bag on that side

of me if that ever happened..., I thought with a smirk.

She finds a seat, and I put on my headphones to go

about my business and get mentally prepared for work. Almost ten minutes later, the person next to her leaves, and

I take the seat. Well, what the hell. One more shot. Think, think, think. Damn, the social part of the brain

doesn\'t work this early in the morning. Of the millions of people who ride public transportation daily, probably

a small percentage actually strike up a conversation while the rest keep to themselves and maybe even hope no one

says anything to them. What antisocial behavior for a species that thrives on social interaction.

I think about

it. There\'s nothing really to say. She\'s reading a magazine. I\'d ask if this bus time was part of her

routine or something to see if I\'d have a regular shot at talking to her, but the way I say things...it\'ll be

taken as shady...so I say nothing. My stop is next, anyway.

I get up and say, \"Have a good day.\" No reason

for my aloofness to all things normal to get in the way of having good manners.

I don\'t think I hear a

response, but maybe she didn\'t think I was talking to her. Maybe she smiled and I didn\'t turn back to see. I

don\'t know.

As I walk to work, I wonder about how this will affect my day and whether I could\'ve done

something different. No, probably not. After all, I\'ll forget about this tomorrow and so will she (if not

earlier). Maybe there won\'t be a tomorrow. Maybe there will be millions. I don\'t care, I\'m tired and

have to get to work.

[Pancho1188]

The \"Boyfriend\"

By Pancho Rivera

I\'m sitting at my desk during a normal day at work. The

attractive woman a few desks over has been coming over to my area often in the past couple of days for training

purposes. I get a few nice conversations in while I have the chance, and it\'s nice to have a normal chat for

once with someone without getting all weird about it. She comes over again today.

I\'m doing some research and

overhear the occasional out-of-the-ordinary comment or raising of the voice due to a funny joke or anecdote...until

the dreaded word comes: \"Boyfriend\".

It\'s like an axe that sticks in my side. It can completely change

the way I view a person at least from a \"potential\" standpoint. There\'s something about the evil switch from

perceiving someone as \"available\" to \"unavailable\" that suddenly changes how I act/react towards them. In

fact, nothing good has ever come from anyone saying the word...so much that it should be considered foul language

and should be treated as such. Stupid (*&amp;$@%(*#s...

\"...sometimes I come in wearing a sweatshirt that my

*%$&amp;#@*$&amp;\'s mom gave me. I wear it to be nice...\" Whoa, whoa, whoa...hold up. *@$#(%(@#???

*Shudders* Oh, well. So much for that idea. It\'s a good thing I keep my ears open...or something.

Maybe they

should just ban the word. I mean, if an attractive girl refers to a (*&amp;@%*@#, people get disappointed. If a

friend or someone you\'re not attracted to mentions it, it\'s usually in the context of either complaining or

bragging, which nobody wants to hear, anyway. Even in the case that you happen to be the person being referred to

by the woman (or man), you either a. didn\'t know that\'s what you were (that\'s a whole other story) b. dread

the thought of hearing it or c. don\'t need to be reminded what you are.

But I digress...

As I sit there and

actually feel the transformation from being interested in this person to losing the \"potential\" feeling, I

wonder how horrible of a person I must be for having such a shallow way of thinking. Maybe it\'s my mindset. I

could have hopes of the \"wait out\", but I\'m too impatient for that and don\'t like the idea of thinking

about someone else\'s significant other. Maybe there\'s nothing wrong with my mindset. Although I\'ve lost

that \"interest\" in a prospective date sense, I still respect and like the person... Who knows what\'s going

on?


Whoa, there goes that girl from the department down the hall from me. I wonder if she\'s taken...

PR

[Pancho1188]

The Homeless Man

By Pancho Rivera

I\'m sitting on the bus. It must be a low point to be commuting

because almost nobody is on here. I walk to the back of the bus where the seats are arranged sideways. I like the

back of the bus because it\'s usually the last place people sit and there\'s something kind of cozy about

sitting in a place where the seats face each other. It\'s like sitting in a little moving room.

Unfortunately,

you can tell it\'s a bus because nobody talks to each other. It\'s funny how that works from a sociological

standpoint. A dozen people sitting in a room just the same would eventually lead to many engaging in

conversation...but put the same room on wheels and have it headed to a destination and you have total silence. The

concept of buses is for another conversation, though, because as I sit there reading my book on the mind and

pondering such aspects of the human psyche I am interrupted by an indecipherable question. \"Dwe yasdfo asdfowe

okwer ojwer jowre?\" I have no idea what he\'s saying. I watched him dump a bag containing an alcoholic

container out the window, so I\'m not too thrilled with the whole littering thing. From the looks of him, though,

I can\'t hold something like that against him because I guess littering is a problem for well-off people and the

obsessive-compulsive. It probably goes Food-&gt;Shelter-&gt;Love-&gt;Littering. Something like that. Reminds me

of Maslow\'s hierarchy of needs.

But I digress...

I ask him what he said. It takes 4 \"What\"s to figure

out that he\'s asking me who won the NCAA tournament. I have no idea.

\"I\'m sorry, man, I\'m not a big

basketball fan.\"
\"I know Maryland was in it...\"
\"Maybe Duke?\"
\"I think Duke lost to

Maryland...\"
\"Well, I\'m not sure, sir.\"
\"Do you go to school around here?\"

He must think I\'m a

student because of my looks and psychology book.

\"Oh, no...I work downtown. I went to Penn State. Now if Penn

State went to the final four, I\'d know. I\'d probably be out celebrating.\"
\"Yeah, you would know.

You\'d be elated.\"

He asks me something, and again it\'s so hard to hear on the bus. I\'m thinking he

also doesn\'t want to talk too loud because he might bother other people.

\"Do you think you might be able to

spare some change?\"
\"Yeah, sure.\"

I bought Chinese food earlier that day and decided to pay cash. I never

really carry around too much cash because of debit cards, but who knew that my $5.78 lunch would leave me with $.22

in my pocket. I think about what I\'d do with that 22 cents if I didn\'t give it to him. I\'d throw it in my

change dish and let it sit there for months...maybe years...as it loses its value. This guy would spend it as soon

as he could and get whatever pleasure now. Maybe it\'ll be alcohol. What do I care? It\'s 22 cents. I get

the money and hand it to him...

\"Peace, my brother.\"

Again, I didn\'t hear him. He held out his fist.

I thought I heard him wrong the first time and he was giving me back the money.

\"No, no... Peace.\" He

motions with his fist. I press mine to his.

\"You study. You\'re going to do well.\" I thought he still

didn\'t get that I graduated, but maybe what I was doing was studying...even if not for a school or a

test...

A frustrated woman gets out of her seat and storms by us, muttering \"Bitch\" as she walks back. I

didn\'t see what happened. God knows what someone could possibly do on a bus that would arise such anger from

another.

\"See, people don\'t realize. People don\'t realize that we\'re all human. We\'re both

human.\"

I get his point. It is sad. I could throw out the psychological terms that point the blame at ego

defense-mechanisms, but I think the way he put it was better.

He goes on and on. I can\'t hear most of what he

says. I wish I could. I smile and try show I\'m making an effort to follow, but it doesn\'t work. I finally

say, \"I\'m sorry, I can\'t hear you too well.\" I get up and sit next to him.

\"Yeah, young one, sit

with me. I don\'t get to talk to people too often.\"

He talks about lost love, life, and how he is going to

sleep outside tonight.

\"It\'s a nice night to sleep outside, at least,\" I say. It was a beautiful

night.

\"Do you have a girlfriend in college?\"
\"Yeah.\"
\"Does she write to you? Do you talk to her

often?\"
\"No, man, she broke up with me a while ago.\"
\"It\'s because you were leaving, wasn\'t

it?\"
\"Yeah, basically.\"
\"See, that\'s what they do, man. My woman...\" and he talks about his last

girlfriend and how she was upset with him about something...again, I still can\'t make everything out, but he\'s

almost at the verge of tears when he thinks back about it. He raises his voice a little in the emotion of talking

about the moment, and people start to look at us. There are about 6 women around me, and a few give these

\"disapproving\" stares. I wouldn\'t say disgust or outright dirty looks, but they weren\'t the kind you get

when you\'re trying to pick someone up.

I ponder this for a moment. These people...everyone going about their

daily lives like nothing\'s going on, and they look down upon people like this just because he has it bad. People

have their stances on the war and terrorism and sending troops/spending money on other countries, and then they feel

this...I\'ll be nice and say \"uncomfort\"...with a person within our own country just because he isn\'t the

standard \"suit\" or \"college kid\" that usually rides the bus to get to work or class. I don\'t

know.

The man tells me that the next time I write to my parents, to tell them that he loves them for being good

people and having someone like myself. He gives me his full name, and wishes me well. Here comes his stop.

He\'s off to the \"booty club\"...yeah, I wouldn\'t call it respectable but I figure he\'s just trying to

find a little fun in the hard life he\'s living. As long as he \"behaves\", I wish him the best.

I tell him

to take care of himself. He wishes me the same. He tells me not to forget him. I tell him I won\'t.

He

leaves, and the bus keeps moving. Silence fills the bus once again as the women around me continue whatever they

were doing...I don\'t know what they are thinking. I\'m not quite sure what I am thinking. My stop is next,

and I move towards the door. Many of those other women get up as well. I let them depart first...maybe the last

chivalry left in this society...I\'m not sure. We all cross the street in the same direction, no one saying a

word. Some walk fast, some walk slow. I am second in the pack, and I again wonder what they are thinking. What

they have to get home to, what they are looking forward to/dreading tomorrow, what is troubling them at this very

moment. I don\'t know, and I probably never will.

All I know is that nothing can possibly bother me at this

moment, for I know I am truly lucky to be where I am right now...even if it\'s home-&gt;work-&gt;gym-&gt;home

every day...and I am truly proud of myself for treating other people with the respect that every human being

deserves.

My mom would be proud.

PR

[Icarus]

One

day, we\'re gonna get a three liner.....

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr

/>
Got laid.

Off to see her just now.

Cya later!

<hr /></blockquote><font

class=\"post\">

Go get \'em, Tiger.

Steve

[Sacogoo]

You

know Panch, I think it\'s great that you are doing your part to help with the environment and taking public

transportation. Kudos.

[Pancho1188]

The Feeling

By Pancho Rivera

I\'ve had three serious girlfriends in the past three years. I say

serious meaning a. girlfriends because I\'ve only had three and want them to sound meaningful at least and b.

serious relationships because those are the only kind I seem capable of since I\'m incapable of \"hit it and quit

it\" relationships since you work so hard to get there just to leave the next day... I never understood it.

Anyway, three relationships: two of around three months or so, the other about six months.

Yeah, so I\'m not

James Bond or Pimp Daddy Pancho as much as I\'d like to be. However, the most interesting thing of note in these

relationships is how I knew they were going to happen before they actually did. I mean, I knew I was going to sleep

with these women. How did I know? I don\'t know. I just did.

I knew this girl through a friend-of-a-friend,

and I\'m in State College talking to her through Instant Messenger about this, that, and the other thing. We get

along well, and I ask her if she\'s doing anything next weekend since I\'m coming back home for whatever reason.

We decide to hang out on Saturday and see what we can do around town when I get there. I get there, and after five

minutes I know I\'m going to sleep with this woman. How do I know? I have no idea. I just do. Maybe it\'s in

the conversation. When I\'m \'on\', I can hold my own. Maybe it\'s the tension in the air...or how she

melts when I give her the look I give that makes a woman feel like the only thing that matters in the universe...I

don\'t know what I\'m doing, it must be a \'vibe\' or something. I don\'t know anything about vibes, but

I guess they exist. An hour later, we\'re on the bed and I\'m putting the moves on like Barry Sanders.

Flash

to the following year. I\'m trying to Instant Message my fraternity brother to shoot the breeze or something when

I get a smiley face and a hello from his friend of the female persuasion. She\'s a sweet girl, and when I get a

picture of her, my jaw drops. Wow. We flirt, and I never flirt. Once again, I know I\'m going to sleep with

this woman. We agree to hang out sometime, and she gives me her screenname. I\'m not feeling in the party mood

on a Friday night, so I ask her what\'s up and see what she\'s up to. She comes over to watch a movie...and

once again, I find myself deep in tongue action and rounding the bases like Barry Bonds...like I\'m already there

but trotting along is just a formality...I eventually lose my best friend over this and break up with her because

she was supposed to be leaving next semester---she ended up staying another year, but she found her future husband

in less than a month so maybe it was fate---lucky me.

Fast forward another six months. I\'m drinking.

That\'s a new one. Apparently no one can resist the mixing of college and alcohol. It\'ll get you in the end

when you go to the #1 party school in the nation (or #4 if you believe those Princeton Review preppies...but I trust

Bacardi). Anyway, she\'s telling me how hot I look on Pimps and Hoes night where I\'m wearing baggy pants with

my boxers showing and a large, unbuttoned (nothing but skin underneath) loud shirt that

screams

[]D[][]V[][]D

with authority. I flirt with her over the course of the night, and I try to get her to

dance for my birthday because she refuses to dance due to insecurities or whatever. Well, she wouldn\'t do it.

Not even as a birthday present. Until this other guy gets her to dance for like 10 seconds. I come down and she

tells me about it, and I act all furious and walk away...boy, am I a bad but believable actor. Like a $5 hooker,

it\'s not pretty, but it gets the job done. I\'ve always hated the game, but I guess I have to play it once in

a while to get the girls.

She pursues. I know I am going to sleep with this woman. Later on, we\'re in my

room (thank God I live in the House...), and I\'m in a drunken state telling her that I like her a lot but

don\'t want to hurt a great friendship, a big brother opportunity (didn\'t happen), or her chances of becoming a

member. Well, needless to say, 10 minutes later I get the guts to kiss her and the rest is history...

Happy

Birthday, Pancho...

Sure, this led to 6 months of torture, followed by...6 months of torture (separation and fear

thereof on both sides)...followed by another 6 months of torture. (Note: exaggeration for story-telling

purposes...well, not by much...)

So I sit and ponder what it was that made me know I had something with these

people. After all, if I knew it then, how hard would it be to reproduce it...I could never be alone again (if

you\'re into that sort of thing)!!! Then again, I don\'t know what it was. Maybe I should just keep my eyes

open. Hmm...that one girl said I was funny, I wonder if she likes me...

PR

[bundyburger]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
I mean, I knew I was going to sleep with these

women.

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">
That\'s held true for every time I\'ve thought that too.

So far.

I don\'t know if it\'s our pheromones doing that when you find the perfect match (that\'s the

COMPLETE signature not just the ones we play with on here), or when you see that twinkle in their eyes that says

you\'ve connected in a big way.
There are two girls that I can think of right now that I\'ve had that feeling

with and it hasn\'t happened. No big deal, coz they are very much works in progress. Based on that feeling and the

current circumstances that play a part in pausing the situation. This has been over two years in the making in one

case and a little longer in the other. One other successful prediction didn\'t happen for 3 years, another for 18

months.

Attraction is a mysterious and amazing part of life. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

[pico]

but

could it be that you feel this feeling, therefore giving you the extra confidence to go through with it?

[bundyburger]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
but could it be that you feel this feeling,

therefore giving you the extra confidence to go through with it?

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">



No doubt! Can\'t really argue with that. lol [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[Pancho1188]

The Dive

By Pancho Rivera

Life is weird. I wake up this morning after having the most vivid

dreams of my ex-gf. This came out of nowhere. She broke up with him and they were hanging out or something. I

thought they were still together, so I walked away...but she chased after me to tell me that they were broken up.

In another segment of the dream, she\'s driving by, we stop, and she kisses her hand and touches my

lips.

This really shakes me up today. I can\'t concentrate. I can\'t do much. I can shake the feeling.

I don\'t know what it is. This is the most vivid dream I\'ve had in forever. I start to wonder if this was

actually going on and if the events in my dream actually happened, but I haven\'t talked to her in months or

thought about her (in a missing fashion) in at least a month.

I can\'t shake it. This starts to piss me

off. Thanks to a little venting to a friend, I shook off the feeling and decided that maybe this was just holding

me back. I decide that this will not mess with me anymore. I go to speak with the girl I\'ve had my eye on for a

while. She\'s with friends, and I\'m not about to embarrass myself in front of a bunch of my coworkers if I say

something stupid, so I veer out the door and head for the elevator.

I see a fellow recent hiree. We talk for

a while. She has this accent that I couldn\'t pinpoint where she\'s from if you paid me. Anyway, we have a

great conversation on the way out until we part ways a block down the street. She\'s attractive in an

unconventional way, but since I don\'t get that \"whoa\", \"school boy\" feeling around her I can carry on a

conversation. Don\'t you love the irony of life?

I meet another coworker on the way to the gym as soon as

I part with the first. We talk for another 8 minutes or so and split up. \"Wow,\" I\'m thinking, \"two decent

conversations in 15 minutes. Must be my lucky day.\"

You\'re probably wondering why I\'m so

surprised. I usually can\'t carry a non-professional conversation with someone I don\'t know well further than

I can throw them. If I get past:

---Hey, what\'s up?
---Not much. How are you

doing?
---Great.

...then I consider the conversation a success. Two in a row? You\'ve gotta be

kidding...

Anyway, I hit the gym and am feeling pretty good. I\'m squatting 225 like it was part of me

thanks to my recent weight gain, so I\'m feeling like the friggin\' Hulk. An older, slightly attractive woman

asks how many sets I have left. I tell her I have one left, and she goes to get some water.

She comes back

in time to see my last lift. I finish up with authority and she even helps me take off the four 45-lb. weights.

Nice. \"Thank you,\" I say because it was awfully nice of her to do such a thing. \"No, thank you,\"

she says in a tone that hasn\'t been heard since Howard Dean tried to rally his troops after losing the first

primary.

What the hell? I\'m in a state of complete confusion after that one. I mean, I didn\'t do

anything for her besides be the reason she had to wait 3 extra minutes for the squat rack... I try to think of

something, but nothing really comes to mind. The only thing I could do was think about how my clothes are very

\"form fitting\" and you get a nice view of my butt while doing squats...I don\'t know. Hey, it could happen,

right?!?!?!

By this point, I think I must be on crack or something. Everyone smiles at me when I look at

them...people are super-nice with the machines and apologize for being in my way...I even had guys rather wait than

ask me to move so they can get to their lockers (to which I say, \"Am I in your way?\" and promptly move out of

courtesy).

Note: I am wearing a little SOE, TE, and AE, but I don\'t know what this is doing. Just let me

pretend it was me. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Anyway, I finish my workout, and as I

walk up to the counter the girl smiles and I hand her my keys.

---How was your

workout?
---Great.
(you\'re in the zone, go for it. What the hell?)
How\'s life on the other side of

the desk? (referring to the counter that divides us)
---Oh, you know. Chillin\' and (man, I can\'t remember

the rest so I\'ll try to paraphrase) takin\' it easy.
(simultaneously)---Have a good night!

I walk out

and process the interaction that just occurred. I just realize: she thinks I\'m attractive. I believe that was

some sort of flirtatious occurrance...the smiles, the tone, the body language...wow, I\'m not used to such

things.

I head to the bus stop before my head explodes. Wow, what a new concept. People are attracted to

me. I sit at the bus stop between four people and think about what\'s going on. I sit there with a big grin on

my face and think about randomly talking to one of them to break this \"code of silence\" that surrounds the bus

phenomenon...I\'m too happy to risk making a fool of myself just yet, though, so I get on the bus and sit in the

back.

I have the biggest smirk on my face for the first few minutes. Everyone\'s sitting there, minding

their own business. I shut my eyes and sit in contentment. Then the bus starts to fill, and on walks a girl that

you\'d probably see in a magazine flaunting the new line for some major designer...and she has the clothes to

fit.

She\'s wearing this hat like the kind men are required to wear once they reach the age of 75...only

the more stylish ones that women and people like my brother wear. She has it at the perfect angle to make it

stylish, sexy, and fashionable...and I know nothing about clothing. Anyway, I like the hat. I really do. She

looks fantastic in it.

I notice that I keep returning my sights to her after pretending to look elsewhere. I

notice that she actually looks at me a couple of times. Wow, what the hell is happening to me today?

The guy

next to me starts to get ready as if his stop was next. I look out the window and notice that it is my stop, too.

I knew I was going to leave, even though I thought about taking the bus all the way to my house instead of the store

so I could...and that\'s when I realized that I wouldn\'t do anything, anyway, so I should just get off now.

That\'s when it hits me.

I decide to take a dive. What the hell does that mean in this context? It means

that I am going to throw everything that bugs me about situations like this out the window and am going for it. If

I tried to talk to her, I\'d have everyone around me overhearing my conversation, knowing I\'m hitting on her,

and judging me or something. I could risk sounding like an idiot. She could think I\'m a tool and ignore me or

think I\'m hitting on her and tell me she has a @#$%&amp;#@&amp;@. This is what always holds me back. This is

what freaks me out.

Well, I\'ll show myself today. So what about all of that stuff? I like that hat, and

it looks damn good on her, and I\'m going to tell her that. What if she never wears the damn thing again because

no one ever complimented her on it? Who cares if people think I\'m hitting on her because they\'ll know I\'m

not since I\'m getting right off the bus without so much as waiting for a response from her. I have no chance of

getting this girl\'s number or being rejected since I\'m not asking anything and everyone else can just go to

hell. That\'s \"taking a dive\". I\'m about to put myself out there where I\'m uncomfortable because I

like the damn hat. Jihad, jigga what?!?!?

I get up. My stop arrives. This guy won\'t get out of my way

because he\'s holding onto the bar until the bus comes to a complete stop. He finally moves. I walk up.

She\'s standing about 2 feet from the back door, so I have about 2 seconds to think of and say something

witty.

I walk up with the body language that I\'m going to talk to her. She looks at me almost as if she

was expecting me to talk to her. Like she wanted me to talk to her. Sh*tdog, I\'ve never seen that one before.

Welcome, Pancho, to \"unmarked territory\".

---That\'s a nice hat.
---*blushes* Thank you.
---It

looks great on you. *walks off the bus*

I fly off the bus before I even know what happened.

Did I just

make a girl blush???

Taking a dive is cool...maybe next time I\'ll see if I can withstand all of that

imaginary pressure I feel and actually make an attempt at conversation.

Have I learned something today? I

don\'t know, but I hope this wasn\'t a freak accident that this all fell on me at once...

PR

[Holmes]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
Don\'t you love the irony of life?

<hr

/></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

Yeah, it\'s a real hoot.

(Good post, though.)


Holmes

[Pancho1188]

The Embarassing Moment

By Pancho Rivera

I go to get some water. I get an itch in my nose and go to

the restroom to get a paper towel and check to make sure I\'m decent. I open the door that goes to the hall

that\'s 5 feet away from the bathroom door, and the most gorgeous girl in the world just happens to be walking by

at that exact moment while my head is down and I\'m trying to cover my face because I might have something on my

face...and of course I\'m giving this strange look while doing it...

She says, \"Hi,\" with an amazing

smile...

Say something! Sh*t!!! Say something!!! Anything!!! Get your head up!!! Smile!!! Quit looking

stupid!!!

F***! F***!! F***!!! F***!!!! F***!!!!! F***!!!!!! F***!!!!!!!

*Smile* *Mumble*

\"Hey...\"

I bolt to the door...I get in and take a few steps while the door shuts...

\"Gaaaaaaaawwwwwwdaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn!!!!\"

I look in the mirror. Nothing. The sudden mixture

of relief and regret fill my veins as I am glad I didn\'t have stuff hanging out of my nose but feel completely

dumb that I missed a huge opportunity...

Nice.

PR

[Holmes]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
I open the door that goes to the hall that\'s 5

feet away from the bathroom door, and the most gorgeous girl in the world just happens to be walking by

<hr

/></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

Did you happen to ask what she\'s doing after The D.A.?

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]


Holmes

[tallmacky]

Pancho I got to get out of here now (school) and leave, but I would just like to say quickly, Why is this not a

Sticky Thread? Pancho yoru writtings have touched me deeply, keep it up in the face of challenge. Fight and fight

some more....and write more!!! Lots more.

ok see ya\'

[Pancho1188]

\"On the Way Out\"

By Pancho Rivera

The \"on-the-way-in\" and \"on-the-way-out\" conversations

are classic. I\'m walking by her desk on the way out and just happen to see her still working while it\'s about

15 minutes or so after the end of a beautiful Friday afternoon. This is what I resort to when I\'m trying to

start a conversation with someone. This is when I know I have absolutely nothing to contribute to a conversation

except...

\"Still here?\"
\"Yeah, I\'m just about to leave. You?\"

At this point, I have lost

complete use of my faculties. I cannot feel a single part of my body, my memory of this time period is to become

blurred, I have no idea what is going on, and my brain is on auto-pilot because I have lost the ability to think.

For a species that has spent millions of years evolving to culminate to this one advanced set of neuroprocesses, the

human response system really does suck.

\"Yeah, I\'m just about to go to the gym as always.\"

I smile.

That\'s about the only response that I can accomplish...and I use that particular word because it is, in fact, an

accomplishment to perform such a feat.

Then, silence. How long was it? I have no idea. It could\'ve been a

fraction of a second or 100 years for all I know. In fact, my memory of those few seconds has all but disintegrated

as fast as it actually occurred.

\"Have a good weekend!\" she says with a smile.

I barely possess the

strength to form a response, but I push on through. No use blowing everything because you can\'t function,

right?

\"You, too,\" I say with another smile.

I must bank on my smile. I know I\'ve made a woman or two

swoon in my day with this $3,500 grin (the approx. amount spent on braces in 21 months I\'d rather forget), so

maybe my stupidity will be overlooked because, damn, I\'ve got a glow about me that could send a Goddess to her

knees...or so I hope beyond hope might be the case one day.

\"Don\'t work too hard.\" This is quite possibly

the dumbest thing I have ever said.

What the hell kind of response was that??? She\'s leaving in 2 minutes.

In fact, she might be gone already if your blubbering mouth hadn\'t interrupted. It\'s Friday, and she won\'t

be working for another two days. What the hell possessed you to say such a stupid thing?!?!?

I turn and walk

away.

Wow, what just happened? Wait, wasn\'t I supposed to say something while I was talking to her?

Wasn\'t I going to ask her out or something?

Or something...

PR

[Icarus]

Take

a deep breath.

Now relax.

[tallmacky]

The latest story is your best yet Pancho. Keep churning them out like Aunt mamma\'s sweet home made buttah.

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

[Bottle]

Pancho I\'m gonna get rich from you mate, one way or another...its either a book or a film.

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[Pancho1188]

The Down-Cycle

By Pancho Rivera

It was bound to happen. A day that seemed out-of-the-ordinary and

wonderful, a good mood almost every day, life was good. Here it comes...

It\'s 2 a.m. Sure, it\'s not late

for a college student or night owl, but for someone who needs to get up at 7 for work and needs to get to sleep or

he\'ll be a wreck in the morning, this was not good. I\'ve been lying awake for a couple of hours in this 90+

degree sauna I call an apartment, and I can\'t sleep. I finally fall asleep after exhaustion must\'ve overtaken

the heat that could only be comparable to lying in an oven...

I get up. I feel okay for being tired, and the day

wasn\'t bad. My head starts spinning later that day. I almost stumble into a wall while walking because of my

dizziness. Great. The Tylenol takes care of that enough to think somewhat straight, but this is not good. I was

planning on asking the girl down the hall today, but it\'s not going to happen if I can\'t think or form a

coherent sentence. Maybe tomorrow will be better for that sort of thing. The dizziness is gone, so I actually go

to the gym. I\'m insane...or addicted, I\'m not sure which.

I walk out later to find a voicemail on my cell

phone. I check the message: \"Hi, Nate...\" a girl starts...it must be Kari (pseudonym to protect the

innocent...not the L-S Kari [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img])...I called her before and she might

be calling back to ask why I called. I wanted to find out how the weekend went at ol\' State because it was a big

one for my frat. \"...it\'s )*@$%*).\" I can\'t even write the name anymore. It\'s become taboo. F*ck.

I thought I was done. I figured she\'d never call me again and I finally was done thinking about and trying to

contact her because the previous fiascos were over and I had no contact with anyone to hear anything new. I listen

to the message again because I had no idea why the hell she called, and then deleted it immediately hoping to forget

about it.

This depresses me. I have no idea why. There\'s a term in psychology where you forget about the

reason why something makes you feel a certain way but it does, anyway. I don\'t know why this made me feel so

horrible, but it did. I guess I was just used to being depressed every time I heard her voice, it became a

conditioned response.

It\'s so hot...I still can\'t sleep. It takes me over two hours to get to sleep again.

Oh, well.

I wake up again, and I\'m still feeling sick. I go for the DayQuil. I\'m bouncing off of the

walls for half of the day. You\'ve never seen anyone so goofy...\"high as a kite\", I referred to my state as

today. I don\'t think I\'m in the condition again to be asking anyone out...but after yesterday\'s debacle

that sent me into feeling crappy, I was determined to fight it by talking with an attractive girl.

What a big

mistake. I get a body language read like I was interrupting something and being a bother by even standing there. I

haven\'t felt this horrible in a long time. I crawl out of there with my tail between my legs and sleep it

off...

I feel better Wednesday. I\'m going to ask her out today. I walk up to her cube on my way to lunch,

and she\'s on the phone. Damn...I go down the elevator...and turn around and go back up like I\'m determined to

do it this time. I pass her to go back to my desk pretending to get something and come back, but I stop at a

co-worker\'s desk and have a nice conversation as a warm-up. It was nice, and he seemed to be brightened by my

very presence. This was good. I was wearing TE and SOE, maybe that helped. She gets up and walks out while

we\'re talking.

\"Well, have a great vacation! Good luck finishing that up...\"

I bolt out of there

almost before he replies. I try to catch up, but she practically disappeared. Damn.

Today is it. I can feel

it. I\'m running a little late in the morning, so she may beat me to work for once and I can give the

\"On-the-way-in\" hello that makes for a good excuse to have a conversation...as you may already know.

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img] I\'m psyched. I\'m ready. I come up the elevator ready to

rock. I come up to the cube...not there. Damn!

Oh, well. This is the day. It\'s going to happen. Lunch

time comes around. We start talking about getting a group to go outside. Perfect!!! This is it!!! Yes!!! We get

ready to go, and I dart for the cube. Here\'s my chance. I can\'t blow this one.

\"Hey, what are you doing

for lunch?\"
\"Actually, I might work through lunch. I stepped out earlier.\"
F*ck. Well, that explains her

absence earlier.
\"How\'s that (aka work) going?\"
\"Oh, I have...\" long response I couldn\'t quote

exactly, but I paraphrase with my response.
\"So translation: you have a lot of stuff.\"
\"Yeah...\" again,

long and hard to quote exactly.
\"What are you doing this weekend?\" I try to implement my little plan to think

of a way to ask her out later...
\"Hanging out with some friends.\"
Come on, give me something...
I\'m out of

time.
She says, \"Where are you guys going?\"
\"I\'m not exactly sure, so I\'ve probably better catch up so

I don\'t lose them...Good luck with that. Maybe next time.\"

I catch up with my co-workers. Damn.

You

know, I can honestly say that I know nothing about the game. If someone was interested, wouldn\'t they know that

I was asking a question for a reason? Wouldn\'t they help me out by giving me a hint that I should keep going

with my attempted request? This is why I never ask people out...if they wanted to do something with me, they would

ask, right? Ha, ha...that kind of logic will only leave you cold and lonely...even in this disgusting

heat...

It\'s not over yet. I have one more excuse to talk to another girl. I\'m down, but not

out...let\'s do it again.

I walk up with my \'excuse\' in hand...funny thing is, I pass by the first girl

while going to the second...I don\'t even notice until she\'s smiling and my head is down again. Man, can I

ever pass this woman without having my head down looking at papers or covering my face?!?!? Geez...

Anyway, I

hand her my \'excuse\'.

\"Oh, awesome. I\'ll take a look at it. I\'m sorry, though, I have to

run.\"
\"Oh, I\'m sorry. I didn\'t mean to bother you. Have a good night.\"
\"Oh, I\'ll be back, I

just have to run now.\"
\"Oh, okay.\"

Can I be any dumber? I just assumed \"run\" meant leave for the

day...that\'s what it usually means, right? It was about a half an hour before the end of the day; she could have

been leaving. Why do I have to say these stupid things? Screw this, I\'m going home.

Today will be different.

I\'m done with this. I\'m tired and beaten. I just want to get through this day.

I walk to my bosses.

They\'re talking together, so I jokingly say, \"If it isn\'t my favorite managers?\" to be friendly, thinking

\"and they\'ll think, \'...and your only/main managers.\'\" I hear an upset remark from a manager across

the way...crap. I figured they\'d know I meant my managers, not just my favorite people in

management.

And I keep digging my own grave...

My two co-workers are talking about this march coming up over

the weekend.

\"Oh, what march is it?\"
\"I\'m sorry, I\'m uncomfortable talking about this at

work.\"

These are the worst words you could ever hear come out of anyone\'s mouth at work...

It turns out

it was a march based on a sensitive subject that wasn\'t suitable for work...man, how was I supposed to

know?!?!?

I\'m just waiting to feel this heat months down the road when something big happens.

I\'m

beaten, I\'m tired, I just want to go home for the weekend and forget that this week even existed.

I won\'t

let this get me down.



I won\'t call her back.
I won\'t give up on being more \"relationship

assertive\"...aka trying to ask someone out more straight-forwardly than in the past.
I won\'t get really

sick...I\'ve \"cut it off at the pass\", so to speak with, with some preventative medicine.


I\'m waiting

for the day when I actually become successful at this debacle I call my life...

PR

[Icarus]

I

know you won\'t reply to any post on this thread (as you seem to have vowed not to) but please stop pretending

that you have it hard.

From your words, you would think that had been born without arms, legs or motor

control.

I\'m not attacking you, or insulting you (at least, this is not my intention).

Life ain\'t a

faerytale, and the girl ain\'t gonna do the work for ya. Ask her out. How much will it really change the

situation you\'re in now? (other than deleting that portion of thought you devote to \'how it could be if we

were together\' - only if she says no, of course)

To be blunt, the pros outweight the cons.

I just wanna see

ya happy. Chin up.

Steve

[metroman]

Pancho you are an excellent writer!...I feel as if I\'ve gotten to know you a little bit from your writings.

Thanks for sharing the angst all of us men go through in one way or another when it comes to the opposite sex.

Anyone who is brave enough to take the time to describe how they\'re feeling, as personally as you have is not

lacking for [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]confidence. You\'re just the kind of guy a lot of

attractive women are looking for: Intelligent, articulate, thoughtful, kind, courteous...Need I say more...All I can

say is if they dont go out with you they\'re passing up a great opportunity.

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

[CptKipling]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
Pancho you are an excellent writer!...I feel as if

I\'ve gotten to know you a little bit from your writings. Thanks for sharing the angst all of us men go through

in one way or another when it comes to the opposite sex. Anyone who is brave enough to take the time to describe how

they\'re feeling, as personally as you have is not lacking for

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]confidence. You\'re just the kind of guy a lot of attractive

women are looking for: Intelligent, articulate, thoughtful, kind, courteous...Need I say more...All I can say is if

they dont go out with you they\'re passing up a great opportunity.

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

Pancho: \"Ok,

but can you tell them that?\"

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[Pancho1188]

Always be Prepared

By Pancho Rivera

\"What are you preparing? You\'re always preparing. Just go!\"

--- Spaceballs

I always need to prepare for things...

It takes me ten minutes to get up in the morning.

Why? I\'m preparing for my day...I\'m like Windows booting up...\"Loading...Loading...Date...Time...Where am

I...How do I feel...What am I doing today...What was I dreaming about...What things are coming up...I\'m tired and

want to go back to sleep\"

It takes me 2 minutes to leave my house. Why? I\'m double-checking my

preparations...aka making sure I have everything. I always forget something.

I take up to 5 minutes before I

jump into an ice-cold pool...I can\'t help it, it\'s friggin\' FREEZING when you jump in, man!!!

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

I take 10 seconds to mentally prepare myself for a solid set at

the gym. \"We\'re gonna take it up a notch. It\'s go time!\" --- Lloyd Bridges, Seinfeld

I take a

few seconds to make sure I have everything ready for when I get on the bus (flash pass or money), order a meal (know

what I want and what I\'m going to say), and talk to someone (what did I need to ask them again?).

I get up

before my stop on the bus and walk towards the door to make sure I can get out as soon as the door opens.

I

prepare a list of possible situations/outcomes for when I talk to a girl I like. God knows I won\'t have much

ability to think during the conversation...

I prepare my lunches for the week on Sunday so I don\'t have to do

it during the week when I\'ll get too lazy and just go out instead.

Some of those things everyone does, some of

those things are probably a little on the side of insane. Honestly, I wouldn\'t know which are which because, of

course, I am the one who does them. Why would I pick such a boring subject to talk about today? Well, my friends,

I would like to let you in on what happens when I do not think and am not prepared...

Things I have

said without thinking them through first:

-How old are you?
-How much do you weigh?
-How much do you make? (I

was ~8-10 at the time, I guess I had an excuse of innocence, but I embarrassed my dad)
-That is quite possibly the

worst sex I\'ve ever had.
-So what you\'re saying is that he\'s just a good replacement for a

vibrator?
-Come on, you know you\'re Ms. Beautiful and everybody loves you and blah, blah, blah...half the place

thinks you\'re hot...

I\'ve said many more dumb things, but I guess they\'re just not coming to mind right

now.

Dumb things I do when I\'m not prepared:

-Stand there standing with a dumb look on my face forever

trying to figure out what the hell is going on, to which I drive myself insane with stress and freak

out
-Apparently miss such simple tasks that I get made fun of for it
-The above makes me say stupid things (see

above list)

Again, I\'ve done dumber things, but I can\'t remember them now. I try to forget them, of

course.

The drawback of having this necessity is the inability to do anything unless I am ready for it to happen.

I can think on my feet, but I can\'t \'do\' on my feet. This brings me to today\'s debacle.

It\'s the

end of the day, and I\'m walking toward the elevator. I pass one girl\'s desk, but I\'m not prepared to say

anything so I don\'t. I come up to this other girl\'s desk. She\'s there, and I remember that I wanted to

thank her for helping me with a project. I had it in my head before that I was going to thank her, so I guess the

previous preparations made it easy to go with it now that it\'s possible to carry out. I stop and knock on the

cubicle.

\"Hey, I just wanted to thank you for your help.\"
\"Yeah, congratulations. It\'s good that he

liked the project.\"
Okay, that\'s all I had. I\'m going to have to wing it from here...
\"Yeah, it turned

out great, but it couldn\'t have been done without your help. He talked to (my manager) for a half an hour saying

how great it was.\"
\"Well, congratulations!\"
Silence for a moment. She goes on.
\"So how are you

doing?\"
\"I\'m doing well. I miss the sun, though.\"
A little more small talk ensues. She asks if I\'m

going to the gym, and I say that I\'m going home.
\"So what are you up to tonight?\" I don\'t know how that

came out. I must be desperate for something to say if I accidentally say something that could be taken in a certain

way...
\"Actually, I\'m not doing anything. Going home, resting...\"

My personality splits in half. I have

the half of me that keeps professionalism for the office and the half that is trying to become Mr. Personality and

friggin\' ask someone out without hesitation. The second half goes nuts.

Ask her out!!! Ask her out!!!

This is your chance!!! Ask her out!!! You can do it, come on...here we

go...\'Do--you--want--to--go--out--with--me?\' How hard is that?!?!?

The first just listens. It calls

the shots, apparently, and it can\'t do it. What if she really needs to rest? You didn\'t come here to ask her

out, you came here to thank her. This is out of your designated line of thinking. I need at least a minute or two

to mentally psych myself up to get into the zone of asking someone out...just like I need 10-20 seconds to psych

myself up for a strong lift...who knows what kind of weak-ass sh*t I would bring if I picked up the weight I lift

without being mentally ready? Who knows what could go wrong because I\'m at work and could get into huge trouble.

Who knows what stupid thing you could say? You don\'t have an hour or two\'s worth of conversation ready to be

unleashed...

*cough*bullshit*cough* If you don\'t do this, Pancho, I will officially lose all respect for

you. This is as good as it\'s going to get. You forget that her saying that is not her saying that but really

the closest sign that any woman seems to be willing to give a guy that she\'s available to do something. When

will you get that through your thick skull?

\"Yeah, you have to rest up from that wild weekend you had,

huh?\"
\"*laughs* Yeah.\"
\"Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for your help.\"
\"You\'re

welcome!\"
\"Well, I\'ll talk to you tomorrow...well, maybe.\" (I don\'t talk to her every day, so what do I

know? However, I\'m sure that could\'ve easily been taken in such a horrible way. Thank God she started

talking before I said that last word)

I can\'t really remember what happens after that. I know I say goodbye

and walk away, and I know she said something in between there, but I can\'t remember. My second half was too busy

cursing me out for being an idiot.

You are the biggest motherf*cking tool who ever lived. I have lost all

respect for you. Go kill yourself.

*sigh*

\"Always be prepared, son...always be prepared.\" --- The

Last Boy Scout

PR

[Pancho1188]

One Small Step for Man...One Giant Leap for Pancho

By Pancho Rivera

Michael: ...I don’t

consider myself a p*ssy, ok?
Samir: Yes, I am also not a p*ssy.\"
--- Office Space

I\'ve had

delusions that somehow my stupidity could help others by making them realize that such irrational thoughts and acts

are useless. I\'ve also been told that writing things down puts perspective on things and makes \"horrible\"

situations look more realistic and workable. When you articulate something well, you understand it. You own it.

You control it. Knowledge is power, and you can overcome anything with understanding.

That\'s all well and

good, but writing about my misfortunes will not inspire people. Writing about my misfortunes and then overcoming

the obstacles to become \"normal\" might...

I finish writing my post for the day. I\'m sitting at my

desk and thinking about what I just wrote. I\'m glad I wrote that down. It makes a lot of sense to me, and now

that I notice a little quirk I have, maybe I can do something about it. We\'ll see about that...

I get

ready to leave. Of course, I pat myself down and look around as final \"preparation\" to make sure I have

everything. I grab my lunch mini-cooler pack that I almost forgot. See, my routines serve me well. I may be

insane, but I didn\'t forget my lunch pack.

I\'m thinking about what I said and what I did. I can do

this...if she\'s there today, I can do it. I walk down the hall...it\'s on. I didn\'t need to think twice

about it. There\'s something new.

She\'s there today. I don\'t waste any time. I\'m as ready as

I\'ll ever be.

\"Working late again?\"
\"It\'s only been a little while. What are you up

to?\"
\"Oh, just going to the gym, I guess.\"
\"That\'s good.\"
\"What are you doing

tonight?\"
\"Probably just going home.\"
\"When are you out of here?\"
\"I\'ll probably be here for

another 30 minutes.\"
I pause. I take a deep breath. Here goes nothing.
\"...Would you want to do

something after?\"
She bites her lip. I have my answer. Can I disappear into oblivion now? I\'m about to be

rejected like a single, white male with a C average and no extra-curricular activities applying to any college worth

going to...
\"Actually, I\'m probably just going to go home.\"

Apparently, \"just going home\" is

not a signal. Then again, I don\'t understand signals. I hate signals. All little body language signs

women think they use aren\'t getting through to me.

I take another breath and keep going without breaking

stride. Apparently, I\'ve been prepared for rejection for years...

Pancho...ready for rejection since

1988!!!

If you know anything about me, you can do the math and guess the significance of that

year...

Anyway, I keep going like there\'s nothing to it.

\"So what are you working on right

now?\"
\"Oh, just some...\" She talks about the project.
\"Cool, cool. Well, good luck with that.

I\'ll see you tomorrow!\" I try to put this smile on my face and in my voice, but I\'m not sure how that

went...She said thanks and goodbye or something, but I\'ve noticed a pattern that once I disengage my attention

turns completely internal, and everything outside fades from memory quickly. Obviously if someone said, \"Wait,

Pancho, I\'m just playing hard to get. Let\'s go do something...I was just messing with you!\" I would

remember that. Oh, well.

It\'s been one week since my ex called. Yes, it becomes fresh in your mind when

the feeling you have reminds you of the last time you were rejected. I\'d say I took it well...if you consider

hyperventilating between jump squat sets and on the verge of tears for a few minutes taking it well... I don\'t

take rejection very well...especially when it brings forth the feeling of the worst rejection you\'ve ever felt in

your life...hence the slight overreaction. I\'ll live, but I still think that, \"Well, at least you tried.

Don\'t you feel better than had you not asked her out at all?\" is full of sh*t. No, I\'d rather not have,

actually. Oh, well. I\'m still breathing, and I still have to wake up tomorrow and go to work. I can do it. I

feel better. At least I didn\'t hear \"Swarm, swarm!\" and get fired or anything. Nice! My life is still

intact, even if my confidence isn\'t.

Well, I proved it. I am not a p*ssy. I was, however, rejected. I

guess you could say I just regained my pride in my manhood in exchange for any self-confidence I had in my

attractiveness. I guess that\'s an even trade-off, right?

I took a chance. I asked someone out. I

didn\'t freak out or lose my senses. I was under control. I took it well and initially rolled it off long enough

to complete the conversation without going nuts or acting like a schmuck or sore loser or whatever. I lived to see

another day. I\'m growing as a person. I\'m better today than I was yesterday. That has to be good, right?

Then why do I still feel bad? Oh, I remember...

PR

[bjf]

Way to

go Pancho. I\'ll agree with you the \"nothing to lose\" thing is kinda BS.

Still, a man\'s got to do what

a man\'s got to do. Don\'t take it personally and know that it happens to everyone.

[Icarus]

It\'s not BS.

People take their own emotions WAAAAAAAY too seriously.

Congrats on having the cojones to ask

her out, and it sucks that she turned you down, but look on it this way.... is life ANY different now?

Screw

it, if anything it\'s better. You now don\'t have to worry about that girl anymore. (unless you get a

chance to get it on at the office christmas party - always a good \'un if you were only a temp, perhaps not for

the career oriented)

To cut a long babble short: can you honestly say that you\'ve never rejected someone else?

Even on something less major than a \'reelayshonchip\'? And haven\'t you maybe also looked at that very girl

that you rejected and said \'that\'s a pretty girl, and I like her, but she\'s not my cup of

tea.\'?

Even if it wasn\'t an outright rejection from her asking you out... we subconsciously reject

or accept people on different levels every day. Just by looking at them.

Just right
too

tall
beautiful
slender
not my type
not my type
perfect
not my type
etc
etc
etc....

Whether we want

to or not, we all do it (in some small way) Just because we are not always put in an express position to communicate

these tiny judgements, doesn\'t mean they aren\'t happening.

Again.

YOU\'VE NOTHING TO

LOSE.

YOU\'VE NOTHING TO LOSE.

YOU

HAVE

NOTHING

TO

LOSE.

Steve

P.S. How much is

pride/self-esteem really worth anyways? [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]