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  1. #1
    Man of La Pancha
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    Default A Concerned Christian\'s Letter to President Bush

    > Dear President Bush:
    >
    > Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding

    God\'s
    > Law. I have learned a great deal from you, and try to share
    > that knowledge with as many

    people as I can. When someone
    > tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I
    > simply remind

    them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to
    > be an abomination... End of debate.
    >
    > I do need

    some advice from you, however, regarding some other
    > elements of God\'s Laws and how to follow them...


    >
    > 1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both
    > male and female, provided they are

    purchased from neighboring
    > nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to
    > Mexicans, but not

    Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can\'t I own
    > Canadians?
    >
    > 2. I would like to sell my daughter

    into slavery, as
    > sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you
    > think would be a fair

    price for her?
    >
    > 3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she
    > is in her period

    of menstrual uncleanliness Lev.15: 19-24.
    > The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most
    >

    women take offense.
    >
    > 4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it
    > creates a

    pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem
    > is, my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to


    > them. Should I smite them?
    >
    > 5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath.
    >

    Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I
    > morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I

    ask the
    > police to do it?
    >
    > 6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish
    > is

    an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination
    > than homosexuality. I don\'t agree. Can you settle

    this? Are
    > there \'degrees\' of abomination?
    >
    > 7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the

    altar of God
    > if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear
    > reading glasses. Does my

    vision have to be 20/20, or is there
    > some wiggle-room here?
    >
    > 8. Most of my male friends get their

    hair trimmed, including
    > the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly
    > forbidden by Lev.

    19:27. How should they die?
    >
    > 9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead
    > pig

    makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear
    > gloves?
    >
    > 10. My uncle has a farm. He

    violates Lev. 19:19 by planting
    > two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by
    > wearing

    garments made of two different kinds of thread
    > (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and
    >

    blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the
    > trouble of getting the whole town together to

    stone them? -
    > Lev. 24:10-16. Couldn\'t we just burn them to death at a
    > private family affair, as we

    do with people who sleep with
    > their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
    >
    > I know you have studied these things

    extensively and thus
    > enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am
    > confident you can help.

    Thank you again for reminding us that
    > God\'s word is eternal and unchanging.
    >
    > A Concerned

    Christian American

  2. #2
    Doctor of Scentology DrSmellThis's Avatar
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    Default

    Very heart-warming letter, Mr.

    Bear!
    DrSmellThis (creator of P H E R O S)

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