I went out with
a girl last night that I had met at a dance club a couple weeks ago. She approached me first (phero magic perhaps)
to dance and a few minutes later she asked me to kiss her. She seemed somewhat aggressive to say the least that
night.
Last night out with her I wore what I did the first time I met her(7:3:1 chrome/TE/AE 1 dab back neck,
chest, 1 behind each ear). Everything went well conversation wise as we went to the Mall of America here in
Minneapolis. We had plans to eat and go to the comedy club. She wanted to stop by an apparel store first to return
pants. She then chose a couple things to wear. I told her that was fine with me. I helped her pick out colors but
didn\'t fit for her. I told her it was ok to try on something that fits better. She was somewhat concerned that it
could be too late to make the comedy club. She really wanted to try on more and I reiterated that was fine with me.
It was for I kinda enjoyed seeing her in new outfits and wanted to give a good impression.
Now the interesting at
dinner (too late to make comedy club). She really opened up. She said she wanted to be upfront that she has issues
in the past and current. Her ex had died due to a diabetic seizure a couple years ago & she currently has
episodes of depression somewhat attributed to that. I let her know that I thought it was great that she was an open
person (although I thoughtto myself perhaps too much on first date) and felt comfortable enough with me to be
upfront. I also lent a little sympathy to her. She also intermixed some sensual innuendos (getting hot, can hardly
wait to kiss you, questions about how much I like sex, etc). I didn\'t expound too much but just enough to keep
her interested in knowing more about my sexual interests. I asked her if she wanted to go to a piano bar,catch the
end of the comedy club, or watch a movie at my place. She said any choice was fine with her as she fixatingly gazed
into my eyes. I chose going back and watching a movie.
She kept the sensual talk going and said {aren\'t you
going to come over by me and hug me?) while she was on my coach. So with \'Bridget Jones Diary\' on we were
holding each other which gradually led to soft kissing. She didn\'t wanna stop. As we did she continued sexual
innuendo. Shew was mostly inititating tongue and heavier kisses among other movements that showed sexual interest. I
wanted to take it a little easy and not proceed too far for I am looking forward to going out with her more and
getting to know her better. I didn\'t want it to get too out of hand that night. I wanted her to be interested in
more later and also ddin\'t want to give her the perception that I was just out for sex with her. Especially since
I was looking forward to the next date.I told her I wanted to be a good guy tonight.
Soon thereafter she said she
didn\'t want me to have the perception that she was whorish (I think she said because she knew she seemed more
agressive than me).
Now for what caught me off guard and struck me. She said that she had been in a sexually
abusive relationship in the past and it kinda affects her now. She sometimes mentally feels she must satisfy a guy
sexually and feels she must go overboard to do this kinda due to the past abuse. I guess it\'s because the guy
she had the abusive relationship would treat her as a sex object and make certain demands of her and perhaps
criticize her. Therefore she has the mentality that she is just a sex object? Or is it an excuse for her more
aggressive behavior toward me? I\'m going with the abused because I felt terrible for her after she told me. I
would never want that too happen to anybody. Anyway I told her I had little thoughts of sex that night and they were
more of thoughts of kissing & cuddling and that I was looking forward to going out again.
Anyway we are
going out again. She is a great personalty, is so funny and attractive! She said she was a model a few years ago and
I can surely see why. She admits to having self-esteem issues. I\'m sure because of the past. That makes me kinda
interested in her more for I would like nothing better than to see her overcome her problems and even be a part of
helping her do so. But yet again part of me tells me she has a few issues and perhaps I\'m getting into dangerous
territory especially if I get into a more serious relationship with her. I like her though and care for her so
I\'m going to go out with her again. I hope she gets more mental stability and is currently more stable than not.
She also works with mentally ill people so that probably doesn\'t help her mind set. I know of other people that
work in mental hospitals and that can be stressful & depressing.
Anyway I\'m not sure if the mones perhaps
were part of the way she acted as she did. Perhaps she did want to take it farther last night. With what she told me
about the abusive relationship it certainly would point she really didnt want to go farther. I\'m glad we
didn\'t go that route and for now I am looking forward to going with her again. I certainly will not take it to a
sexual level unless I\'m sure that\'s what she is ready for.
Often it is hard to understand what all happens
with someone you hardly know. I\'m not going to analyze it a whole lot but just go with the flow. If anyone out
there has opinions of the above I surely werlcome. I hope I didn\'t bore you too much with this. Thanks for
listening! [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]
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