My

A$$...

HOW DO THESE PEOPLE SURVIVE?

ONE [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]
Recently, when I went to McDonald\'s I saw on the menu that

you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
\"We don\'t have half

dozen nuggets,\" said the teenager at the counter.
\"You don\'t?\" I replied. \"We only have six, nine, or

twelve,\" was the reply.
\"So I can\'t order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?\" \"That\'s

right.\"
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

TWO [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and

the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those \"dividers\" that they keep

by the cash register and placed it between our
things so they wouldn\'t get mixed. After the girl had scanned all

of my items, she picked up the \"divider,\" looking it all over for the bar code so
she could scan it. Not

finding the bar code she said to me, \"Do you know how much this is?\" I said to her \"I\'ve changed my mind, I

don\'t think I\'ll buy that today.\" She said \"OK,\" and I paid her for the things and left. She
had no

clue to what had just happened.

THREE [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img]
A lady at work was

seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was

doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit
card number, so she was using

the ATM \"thingy.\"

FOUR [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif[/img]
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.

\"Do you need some help?\" I asked. She replied, \"I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door

unlocker. Now I can\'t get into my car. Do you think they
(pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a

battery to fit this?\"
\"Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?\" I asked.\"No, just this remote thingy,\"

she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, \"Why

don\'t you drive over there and check about the batteries. It\'s a long walk.\"

FIVE

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]
Several years

ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, \"I\'m

almost out of typing paper. What do I do?\" \"Just use copier machine paper,\" the secretary told her.

With
that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make

five \"blank\" copies.

Six [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]
My neighbor works in the

operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems

with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question:

\"I\'ve got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?\"