Happy 5,000 posts,
Elana!
Okay, for your 5,000th post, I\'ve introduced a new product that will be a best-seller!!!
The Elana 5000
or
The Elana 5000
If you\'re lazy,
I\'ve copied and pasted the text below:
The Elana 5000
The Elana 5000 is the most revolutionary
erotic accessory on the market today. The Elana 5000 has over 100 features and 32 settings for your sensual
enjoyment. Set the Elana 5000 on \"Tease\" and choose from many varieties of flirting, playful physical contact,
eye contact, hand-holding, massaging, dancing, lap dancing, and the world famous \"striptease\" setting specially
patented by the makers of the Elana 5000. For a more sensual experience, set the Elana 5000 to \"Total sensual
relaxation\", and she will set the mood with aromatherapy, essential oils, mood lighting, sensual music, and a
full-body massage to send even the most tense person into utter relaxation and ecstasy. You\'ll never get tired
of the Elana 5000 because of the multitude of features and settings that you will never be able to get
through---even with life-long use!
The Elana 5000 is great for any occasion. Simply wine and dine the Elana 5000
for one of the most magical evenings of a lifetime. She can be taken to any event to boost your attractiveness and
social status. She can make ex-girlfriends jealous, she can increase your success at business functions, and she
can give you that fresh, commitment-oriented look to catch that special someone. She makes a great shopping,
dancing, movie, and bar-hopping partner! We love the Elana 5000 so much, we can guarantee that she will work for
you no matter what the situation may be!
There is a word of caution when using the Elana 5000. The Elana 5000
will only take care of you if you take care of it. The Elana requires a lot of love, caring, and support to allow
for your full enjoyment. You must provide her the proper accommodations so she is able to look her best, be happy,
and stay healthy. The Elana 5000 is not a slave. She will not cook, clean, etc. for you every day without proper
reciprocation. Please take care of your Elana 5000 and she will take care of you.
Editor\'s Note: The
Elana 5000 has been discontinued because the manufacturer was only able to produce one. As the value of the Elana
5000 is priceless, we have left it up to her to decide who receives such an amazing creation.
The Elana
5000...may or may not be in a store near you!!!
Happy 5,000th, Elana!
Love,
Pancho
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