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Thread: Happy 5,000th!

  1. #1
    Man of La Pancha
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    Default Happy 5,000th!

    visit-red-300x50PNG
    Happy 5,000 posts,

    Elana!

    Okay, for your 5,000th post, I\'ve introduced a new product that will be a best-seller!!!



    The Elana 5000

    or



    The Elana 5000

    If you\'re lazy,

    I\'ve copied and pasted the text below:


    The Elana 5000

    The Elana 5000 is the most revolutionary

    erotic accessory on the market today. The Elana 5000 has over 100 features and 32 settings for your sensual

    enjoyment. Set the Elana 5000 on \"Tease\" and choose from many varieties of flirting, playful physical contact,

    eye contact, hand-holding, massaging, dancing, lap dancing, and the world famous \"striptease\" setting specially

    patented by the makers of the Elana 5000. For a more sensual experience, set the Elana 5000 to \"Total sensual

    relaxation\", and she will set the mood with aromatherapy, essential oils, mood lighting, sensual music, and a

    full-body massage to send even the most tense person into utter relaxation and ecstasy. You\'ll never get tired

    of the Elana 5000 because of the multitude of features and settings that you will never be able to get

    through---even with life-long use!

    The Elana 5000 is great for any occasion. Simply wine and dine the Elana 5000

    for one of the most magical evenings of a lifetime. She can be taken to any event to boost your attractiveness and

    social status. She can make ex-girlfriends jealous, she can increase your success at business functions, and she

    can give you that fresh, commitment-oriented look to catch that special someone. She makes a great shopping,

    dancing, movie, and bar-hopping partner! We love the Elana 5000 so much, we can guarantee that she will work for

    you no matter what the situation may be!

    There is a word of caution when using the Elana 5000. The Elana 5000

    will only take care of you if you take care of it. The Elana requires a lot of love, caring, and support to allow

    for your full enjoyment. You must provide her the proper accommodations so she is able to look her best, be happy,

    and stay healthy. The Elana 5000 is not a slave. She will not cook, clean, etc. for you every day without proper

    reciprocation. Please take care of your Elana 5000 and she will take care of you.

    Editor\'s Note: The

    Elana 5000 has been discontinued because the manufacturer was only able to produce one. As the value of the Elana

    5000 is priceless, we have left it up to her to decide who receives such an amazing creation.

    The Elana

    5000...may or may not be in a store near you!!!




    Happy 5,000th, Elana!

    Love,

    Pancho

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

  2. #2
    Banned User Elana's Avatar
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    Default Re: Happy 5,000th!



    </font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
    Editor\'s Note: The Elana 5000 has been

    discontinued because the manufacturer was only able to produce one. As the value of the Elana 5000 is priceless, we

    have left it up to her to decide who receives such an amazing creation.

    <hr /></blockquote><font

    class=\"post\">

    That was sweet. Thanks, Pancho. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

  3. #3
    Bodhi Satva CptKipling's Avatar
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    Default Re: Happy 5,000th!

    Yes a kiss ass, but

    what an ass to kiss [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

  4. #4
    Banned User Elana's Avatar
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    Default Re: Happy 5,000th!

    </font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
    Yes a kiss ass, but what an ass to kiss

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

    <hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

    A little

    spanking might be nice too. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]

  5. #5
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    Default I can\'t take it any more.

    </font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
    </font><blockquote><font

    class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
    Editor\'s Note: The Elana 5000 has been discontinued because the

    manufacturer was only able to produce one. As the value of the Elana 5000 is priceless, we have left it up to her to

    decide who receives such an amazing creation.

    <hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">



    That was sweet.

    Thanks, Pancho. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

    <hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

    I can\'t

    take it any more. Stop encouraging him Elana.

    Puncho. What the hell is wrong with you? Did you get hit on the

    head when you were little; or soooomthing?

    Get some help kid! PLEASE!!!

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img]

  6. #6
    Man of La Pancha
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    Default Re: I can\'t take it any more.

    </font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />

    That was sweet. Thanks, Pancho.

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

    <hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

    I can\'t take

    it any more. Stop encouraging him Elana.

    Puncho. What the hell is wrong with you? Did you get hit on the head

    when you were little; or soooomthing?

    Get some help kid! PLEASE!!!

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img]

    <hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

    Actually, I was

    dropped on my head as a kid, but I don\'t think that has anything to do with it...

    Seriously, if you don\'t

    like it, you don\'t have to read it. Period.

  7. #7
    Banned User EXIT63's Avatar
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    Default Re: I can\'t take it any more.

    Now

    ladies, let\'s try to keep it civil. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

    Pancho, try to ignore

    Ash. He\'s just jealous of your ladykillerness. Who wouldn\'t be.

    Ash, Pancho has the right to post his

    platitudes. If reading his drivel upsets you. Then don\'t read it.

    Well, I handled that pretty well. I

    should be a moderator. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

  8. #8
    Banned User Elana's Avatar
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    Default Re: I can\'t take it any more.

    Look at

    my sweet as sunshine Exit. His giant heart of gold only wants people to be happy and get along. So what that he

    called Mr. Rogers a homo. He meant it is the kindest, most loving way. The sky just opened up and flowers fell from

    the heavens because Exit walked into the room (in this case the thread). All hail Exit63!

  9. #9
    Banned User EXIT63's Avatar
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    Default Re: I can\'t take it any more.



    BANG...ZOOM!!!

  10. #10
    Bodhi Satva CptKipling's Avatar
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    Default Re: I can\'t take it any more.

    Pancho, we love you buddy! Keep the verbal diarrhoea flowing [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

  11. #11
    Man of La Pancha
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    Default Re: Post about Nothing

    PANCHO: See,

    this should be a post. This is the post.
    HOLMES: What?
    PANCHO: This. Just talking.
    HOLMES: (dismissing) Yeah,

    right.
    PANCHO: I\'m really serious. I think that\'s a good idea.
    HOLMES: Just talking? Well what\'s the

    post about?
    PANCHO: It\'s about nothing.
    HOLMES: No story?
    PANCHO: No forget the story.
    HOLMES: You\'ve

    got to have a story.
    PANCHO: Who says you gotta have a story? Remember when we were waiting for, for that table in

    that Chinese restaurant that time? That could be a forum post.
    HOLMES: And who is in the post? Who are the

    characters?
    PANCHO: I could be a character.
    HOLMES: You?
    PANCHO: Yeah. You could have a character like

    me.
    HOLMES: So, in the post, there\'s a character named Pancho Rivera?
    PANCHO: Yeah. There\'s something wrong

    with that? I\'m a character. People are always saying to me, \"You know you\'re a quite a

    character.\"
    HOLMES: And who else is in the post?
    PANCHO: Elana could be a character. Franki...
    HOLMES: Now

    he\'s a character. (Pause) So everybody I know is a character in the post.
    PANCHO: Right.
    HOLMES: And it\'s

    about nothing?
    PANCHO: Absolutely nothing.
    HOLMES: So you\'re saying, I go onto Love-Scent.com, and tell them I

    got this idea for a post about nothing.
    PANCHO: We go onto Love-Scent.com.
    HOLMES: \"We\"? Since when are you a

    writer?
    PANCHO: (Scoffs) Writer. We\'re talking about a forum.
    HOLMES: You want to go with me to

    Love-Scent.com?
    PANCHO: Yeah. I think we really got something here.
    HOLMES: What do we got?
    PANCHO: An

    idea.
    HOLMES: What idea?
    PANCHO: An idea for the post.
    HOLMES: I still don\'t know what the idea is.
    PANCHO:

    It\'s about nothing.
    HOLMES: Right.
    PANCHO: Everybody\'s doing something, we\'ll do nothing.
    HOLMES: So,

    we go onto Love-Scent.com, we tell them we\'ve got an idea for a post about nothing.
    PANCHO: Exactly.
    HOLMES:

    They say, \"What\'s your post about?\" I say, \"Nothing.\"
    PANCHO: There you go.
    (A moment passes)
    HOLMES:

    (Nodding) I think you may have something here.

  12. #12
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    Default Re: Post about Nothing

    Do you have nothing

    else to occupy your mind with?

  13. #13
    Man of La Pancha
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    Default Re: Post about Nothing

    Ouch.

  14. #14
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    Default Re: Post about Nothing

    </font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
    Do you have nothing else to occupy your mind with?



    <hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

    Really Poncho. It\'s embarrassing to some of us. I feel like

    Sylvester the cats son after I read some of you posts. I just want to put a brown paper bag over my head.

  15. #15
    Journeyman
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    Default Re: Post about Nothing

    Leave him

    alone!!!!!!! [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img]

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img]

    -----BigBadBear [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

  16. #16
    Phero Dude Gossamer_2701's Avatar
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    Default Re: Post about Nothing

    Hey

    Pancho... I personally enjoy most of your posts, while occasionally wanting to pull that proverbial paper bag over

    my head to others [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] Keep it creative.... just let it flow man...



    All I want to know is.... How do you remember EVERY SINGLE line from those episodes?

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img] I mean I\'m a BIG fan of that show, and I know all those

    lines while reading your posts, but I couldn\'t sit down and just write them all out like that.
    Come on man..

    spill it... Google search... got the whole series on DVD... or should I start calling you \'Rain Man\'

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

    Anyway, keep on posting!!!!

    Goss

  17. #17
    WorldEater Icarus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Post about Nothing

    Pancho

  18. #18
    Bodhi Satva CptKipling's Avatar
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    Default Re: Post about Nothing

    </font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
    </font><blockquote><font

    class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
    Do you have nothing else to occupy your mind with?

    <hr

    /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

    Really Poncho. It\'s embarrassing to some of us. I feel like

    Sylvester the cats son after I read some of you posts. I just want to put a brown paper bag over my head.

    <hr

    /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

    To use (or brutally plagiarise, you deside) one of Panchos old

    sigs\':

    The line |
    You -----|---&gt; [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]

    Not

    cool

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