Unanswerable Question for the Ladies

[MadMaxx]

I

titled my post as I did, because I realize that one can only speculate and generalize about these matters, but then

that doesn\'t stop countless people from writing whole books on the matter, so here it goes.

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

Let\'s say a man demonstrates interest in a woman. This would

be done in various ways that any \"astute\" woman would pick up on I would think. It does not, however, go so far

as to include a direct request for a date, or a direct declaration of interest.

So, after the woman

\"realizes\" that the man is interested, and she has gotten over her intial reaction of being \"blown away\" by

his apparent interest,she \"appears\" to be relatively open/recepive, BUT how does a guy know the difference

between 1) behavior that indicates she is open, recpeptive, and 2) behavior that indicates she is being civil,

polite, freindly, tolerant etc, because she wants to maintain good relations, but isn\'t actually interesed in

more serious \"advances\"? I entertain scenario #2 because we are part of group that sees each other a lot.

[Sexyredhead]

I would say if she was just being polite, her body language woud still be closed, no matter what she

said. That\'s kind of a tough thing to hide.

[MadMaxx]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
I would say if she was just being polite, her body

language woud still be closed, no matter what she said. That\'s kind of a tough thing to hide.

<hr

/></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

Thanks. That\'s one good point I can watch for. I was told something

before about looking for whether women\'s body language was \"open\", especially pertaining to the breasts. I

think I kind of forgot about it. Could you provide some clarification and/or examples on what you mean by,

\"That\'s kind of a tough thing to hide.\"?

[Sexyredhead]

By saying that\'s a tough thing to hide, I mean that your body language is telling what\'s going on

in your head. It takes a lot of practice and concentration to not only control what you say, but what your body

says. I would think it would come across as very awkward or stiff, and many people just don\'t think to do it.

[MadMaxx]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
By saying that\'s a tough thing to hide, I mean

that your body language is telling what\'s going on in your head. It takes a lot of practice and concentration to

not only control what you say, but what your body says. I would think it would come across as very awkward or stiff,

and many people just don\'t think to do it.

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

Okay, I can grasp

that. However, is it possible to give me any description of \"open\" body language vs. \"closed\" body language.

Much appreciated in advance; I have to milk you women on the forum(no pun intended), because I\'m not going to get

any female input elsewhere. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

[Aphrodite]

Even if a woman likes you back, she might not make herself too obvious b/c she wants to maintain her

assertiveness and is waiting for u to ask her out. Whatever signs the guy gives to show he is interested, if she

mimics that in some way, then that may be a green light. eq. if you are always looking at her and come up and talk

to her and then u later realize that she looks at u more often and either comes up and talks to you or is open and

relaxed when you continue to continue to come to her, she may be interested.

possibilities of her just being

nice? you gotta feel her out (not physically!) meaning you gotta see if she\'s talking to u as her friend

(talking loud, punching ur arm) or if there\'s something about her aura that says she interested (eye contact,

warm smile, complimenting, etc.)

but remember all females are different

[CptKipling]

Good advice.

I know I\'m not of female orientation, but maybe I can give you a few ideas.

Most

women will judge you very early on. This can mean within a few seconds of seeing you or after a few moments of

conversation. Once you have passed this stage, you are on neutral ground, you can either impress her into higher

levels of attraction or bore/scare her to the extent that she leaves/runs away. As Aphrodite said, all women are

different, and the various stages you have to accomplish to reach higher levels of attraction can happen anywhere on

the spectrum of never to instantly, all depending on aspects of the womans mood and personality, and nothing to do

with you. That being said, you can positively change a womans mood by gentile flattery or just being an interesting

person to talk to, which are both curiously enough good ways induce attraction.

When you next strike up a

conversation with a woman, take note of her body language in the different stages of the interaction. It\'s easy

enough to find some basic information describing positive body language (even a search on this forum would be very

usefull), but it\'s better for you to learn how these apply to real world situations, so get out there and start

observing!

As a side note, one of my favourite signs of interest is body angle with regards to you, if they are

are turned towards you then they are likely to be interested. You will probably observe how a woman\'s body will

gradually turn to face you during the course of a conversation. That\'s an easy one to observe.

[Friendly1]

Body language has to be read in groups of signs or actions. One action can mean several different

things. For example, a girl can keep her arms crossed in front of her because she is depressed (and feeling small),

or because she is insecure (and is trying to reassure herself), or because she is closed off to whomever is speaking

to her, or because she is cold, or because her breasts are large and heavy and she supports them that way, or

because she is holding something, or because she is feeling erotic and is actually rubbing herself, or because she

is angry and trying to hold herself back, etc.

If a girl smiles a lot (and I mean she shows her teeth) and she

laughs and her eyes are bright and she is not easily distracted, she is probably very interested in the person she

is talking with. She may keep her feet pointed toward that person. She may initiate touching (and she could touch

herself or the person she is talking to). She may deliberately turn her back to other people. She may step close

or lean close to the other person to hear what is being said. She may look down in brief submission every now and

then if she is attracted to the other person.

Self-touching which indicates interest includes rubbing. Usually a

leg or arm. So, if she is softly caressing herself, she is possibly very interested in/attracted to the person she

is with.

A lot of these actions depend on her personality and how comfortable she feels. Some guys are very good

at making women feel comfortable. Once they get that comfort going, they start leading the girls to share their

feelings. It\'s a very seductive process.

[EXIT63]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
because I\'m not going to get any female input

elsewhere.

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

What about the gym?

Or that alley behind the

gym. You know, the one with the cats. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

[Icarus]

Topcat and his gang hang out there.

You don\'t wanna mess with them, \'specially not now that Old Topcat got

Neutered by the Cat Protection League.

[MadMaxx]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
Even if a woman likes you back, she might not make

herself too obvious b/c she wants to maintain her assertiveness and is waiting for u to ask her out. Whatever signs

the guy gives to show he is interested, if she mimics that in some way, then that may be a green light. eq. if you

are always looking at her and come up and talk to her and then u later realize that she looks at u more often and

either comes up and talks to you or is open and relaxed when you continue to continue to come to her, she may be

interested.

possibilities of her just being nice? you gotta feel her out (not physically!) meaning you gotta

see if she\'s talking to u as her friend (talking loud, punching ur arm) or if there\'s something about her aura

that says she interested (eye contact, warm smile, complimenting, etc.)

but remember all females are different



<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

Hmmm....you have some interesting stuff here. I think I read about

the mimicing thing before, and I noticed that she was doing it for a while, but it MAY have stopped, OR it may just

have appeared to stop because I have slowed down my advances, so there might not be too much to \"mimic\". We went

through a stage of some playful interchanges and little bits of touching stuff, but now we have \"entered a new

phase\".(love that phrase) [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

I miss the playful phase. What I

feel now is that she is much more calm, relaxed, and serious. By \"serious\" I don\'t necessarily mean really

heavy or somber; just not playful, joking or smiley. This is partly what is throwing me for a loop. As I mentioned

in the beginning, I can\'t figure whether this \"attitude\" indicates a neutral acceptance of me as an

individual, and a desire on her part not to give me \"the wrong idea\", OR is she simply switching over to a more

\"mature\" posture and presenting me with an open, calm, relaxed attitude, attempting to show me that I can

approach her and make my move if that is what I am wanting to do. In the beginning, I actually found her behavior to

be quite girlish; including giggling and embarrassment from my attention, but not anymore. I am thinking she might

be kind of \"smart\". She might have started to suspect that I didn\'t like and/or understand her girlish

behavior before, which in some cases I was translating into rejection; possibly because I am still sometimes stupid

when it comes to reading flirting behavior(of that type anyway).

As for your comments on way of talking and aura.

She is definiely not loud, or playful now. I would describe it more as soft, feminine, kind, maybe even submissive,

accommodating, or willing to please. Once again, I see 2 possible interpretations: 1) she\'s trying to be

\"kind\" in her rejection of me; 2) she is attempting to show that she is open to me making a move.

Eye contact

is something that is a really big thing for me. I like using it. We have some really serious eye contact; like DEEP

and LONG. However, I see it as coming from me, in that I see myself as the \"doer\" or \"initiator\", if that

makes any sense. Any short interactions I have with her, I give it to her deep and long(no pun intended), and she

basically \"meets it\", meaning she doesn\'t look away and doesn\'t seem uncomfortable with it. For example

after I dance with her, maybe we have a little bit to say(like she apologizes for dancing so badly, which she does

ONLY with me) and I continue holding her hands and doing the DEEEEP eye thing. Sometimes when I reflect on how I do

this to her, I think,\"whoa, that\'s pretty serious\". Like, if she is not wanting my attention, this should

really creep her out. However, she doesn\'t SEEM to be creeped out by it. Like I said, she seems to \"absorb\"

it.

Next chapter tomorrow. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[Kari]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
</font><blockquote><font

class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
Even if a woman likes you back, she might not make herself too obvious b/c

she wants to maintain her assertiveness and is waiting for u to ask her out. Whatever signs the guy gives to show

he is interested, if she mimics that in some way, then that may be a green light. eq. if you are always looking at

her and come up and talk to her and then u later realize that she looks at u more often and either comes up and

talks to you or is open and relaxed when you continue to continue to come to her, she may be interested.



possibilities of her just being nice? you gotta feel her out (not physically!) meaning you gotta see if

she\'s talking to u as her friend (talking loud, punching ur arm) or if there\'s something about her aura that

says she interested (eye contact, warm smile, complimenting, etc.)

but remember all females are different



<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

Hmmm....you have some interesting stuff here. I think I read about

the mimicing thing before, and I noticed that she was doing it for a while, but it MAY have stopped, OR it may just

have appeared to stop because I have slowed down my advances, so there might not be too much to \"mimic\". We went

through a stage of some playful interchanges and little bits of touching stuff, but now we have \"entered a new

phase\".(love that phrase) [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

I miss the playful phase. What I

feel now is that she is much more calm, relaxed, and serious. By \"serious\" I don\'t necessarily mean really

heavy or somber; just not playful, joking or smiley. This is partly what is throwing me for a loop. As I mentioned

in the beginning, I can\'t figure whether this \"attitude\" indicates a neutral acceptance of me as an

individual, and a desire on her part not to give me \"the wrong idea\", OR is she simply switching over to a more

\"mature\" posture and presenting me with an open, calm, relaxed attitude, attempting to show me that I can

approach her and make my move if that is what I am wanting to do. In the beginning, I actually found her behavior to

be quite girlish; including giggling and embarrassment from my attention, but not anymore. I am thinking she might

be kind of \"smart\". She might have started to suspect that I didn\'t like and/or understand her girlish

behavior before, which in some cases I was translating into rejection; possibly because I am still sometimes stupid

when it comes to reading flirting behavior(of that type anyway).

As for your comments on way of talking and aura.

She is definiely not loud, or playful now. I would describe it more as soft, feminine, kind, maybe even submissive,

accommodating, or willing to please. Once again, I see 2 possible interpretations: 1) she\'s trying to be

\"kind\" in her rejection of me; 2) she is attempting to show that she is open to me making a move.

Eye contact

is something that is a really big thing for me. I like using it. We have some really serious eye contact; like DEEP

and LONG. However, I see it as coming from me, in that I see myself as the \"doer\" or \"initiator\", if that

makes any sense. Any short interactions I have with her, I give it to her deep and long(no pun intended), and she

basically \"meets it\", meaning she doesn\'t look away and doesn\'t seem uncomfortable with it. For example

after I dance with her, maybe we have a little bit to say(like she apologizes for dancing so badly, which she does

ONLY with me) and I continue holding her hands and doing the DEEEEP eye thing. Sometimes when I reflect on how I do

this to her, I think,\"whoa, that\'s pretty serious\". Like, if she is not wanting my attention, this should

really creep her out. However, she doesn\'t SEEM to be creeped out by it. Like I said, she seems to \"absorb\"

it.

Next chapter tomorrow. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

<hr /></blockquote><font

class=\"post\">

Don\'t forget to look for hair-flipping, palm flashing, and lowered eyes. &lt;g&gt; Honey,

you need a good book on body language.

[MadMaxx]

Don\'t forget to look for hair-flipping, palm flashing, and lowered eyes. &lt;g&gt; Honey, you need a good book

on body language.

Got one to recommend? [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

P.S. I

used to get the lowered eyes from her, but not so much now. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[Kari]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
Don\'t forget to look for hair-flipping, palm

flashing, and lowered eyes. &lt;g&gt; Honey, you need a good book on body language.

Got one to recommend?

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

P.S. I used to get the lowered eyes from her, but not so much

now. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

Actually..

I\'m trying to remember the one that I just read. Will give you LOTS of clues as to what the lady is thinking

about you.

[nonscents]

MadMaxx,

I think you are in like Flint.
The following is from David J. Lieberman, Get Anyone

to do Anything , St. Martin\'s Press:

Did you know that gazing into a person\'s eyes can actually make

the individual fall in love with you? That\'s the conclusion of numerous studies on attraction and romantic love.

In one particular experiment, two opposite-sex strangers were asked to gaze into each other\'s eyes for two

minutes. This study concluded that the act of simply looking into another\'s eyes for only a few moments was

enough for them to produce passionate feelings for each other (Kellerman, Lewis, and Laird, 1989).

[Holmes]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
I think you are in like Flint.

<hr

/></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

Fred or Larry?


Holmes

[EXIT63]

Just flex your muscles for her. Now woman can resist that.

[MadMaxx]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
</font><blockquote><font

class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
Don\'t forget to look for hair-flipping, palm flashing, and lowered eyes.

&lt;g&gt; Honey, you need a good book on body language.

Got one to recommend?

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

P.S. I used to get the lowered eyes from her, but not so much

now. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

Actually..

I\'m trying to remember the one that I just read. Will give you LOTS of clues as to what the lady is thinking

about you.

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

Keep thinking....I\'m waiting....

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Anybody know which book Kari read, but can\'t remember?

[MadMaxx]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
MadMaxx,

I think you are in like Flint.
The

following is from David J. Lieberman, Get Anyone to do Anything , St. Martin\'s Press:

Did you know

that gazing into a person\'s eyes can actually make the individual fall in love with you? That\'s the conclusion

of numerous studies on attraction and romantic love. In one particular experiment, two opposite-sex strangers were

asked to gaze into each other\'s eyes for two minutes. This study concluded that the act of simply looking into

another\'s eyes for only a few moments was enough for them to produce passionate feelings for each other

(Kellerman, Lewis, and Laird, 1989).

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

Hmmm.....well, you gotta

wonder a bit about all these \"studies\". If there\'s any truth in that one, that would mean that by this point

I have produced a hell of a lot of \"passionate feelings\" in this woman, given the number of times I have gazed

deeply into her eyes. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

[Friendly1]

MadMaxx, it works. Believe it. We guys are so clueless about this stuff, when I finally started

learning how it all works, I really wanted to kick myself for all the years I was in doubt about what various women

I\'ve known (and sometimes loved) wanted from me.

[SwingerMD]

MadMaxx,

Glad to see you dancing up a storm out there [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] .

Another thing you should take notice of when you are gazing deeply into this woman\'s eyes is are they really

dialated or not. The more dialated they are, the more attracted to you they are. This is a involuntary thing. In

other words, the eyes don\'t lie.

I use this all the time to gague interest. It has been correct pretty much

all the time. Anyone that I\'ve dated, gotten extreme compliments on, and thinly veiled suggestions on sex (still

suprises the hell outta me) I\'ve notice at the very least heavy eye contact. And those that I remember to note

pupil size, they were really dialated.

From the sound of it, this lady is very attracted to and interested in

you. The question is do you want to move this relationship further? She\'s pretty much telling you that the

ball\'s in your court and is expecting you to be a good salsa dancer you are by leading her onward.

Just make

your decision quick. She probably won\'t late too long to loose interest.

--------------------
<font

color=\"blue\"> -SwingerMD </font>

[MadMaxx]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
MadMaxx,

Glad to see you dancing up a storm out

there [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] . Another thing you should take notice of when you are

gazing deeply into this woman\'s eyes is are they really dialated or not. The more dialated they are, the more

attracted to you they are. This is a involuntary thing. In other words, the eyes don\'t lie.

I use this all

the time to gague interest. It has been correct pretty much all the time. Anyone that I\'ve dated, gotten

extreme compliments on, and thinly veiled suggestions on sex (still suprises the hell outta me) I\'ve notice at

the very least heavy eye contact. And those that I remember to note pupil size, they were really dialated.

From

the sound of it, this lady is very attracted to and interested in you. The question is do you want to move this

relationship further? She\'s pretty much telling you that the ball\'s in your court and is expecting you to be

a good salsa dancer you are by leading her onward.

Just make your decision quick. She probably won\'t late too

long to loose interest.

--------------------
<font color=\"blue\"> -SwingerMD </font>

<hr

/></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

Thanks Swinger. Everybody keeps mentioning pupil dilation; the problem is

the environment is always so dim that I don\'t think it is possible to detect.

I myself am afraid of the

\"slowness\" factor.

That is definitely a danger for me; but if that happens I will have to live with it. She

had a very \"strange\" and immature way of responding to my early advances that made me draw back. She may or may

not be aware of that now. I hope(and suspect) that she might be aware of it, because that may cause her to give me a

little more leeway.

Other than that, regardless of how I feel about her, there are serious issues which lead me

to question the wiseness of advancing further, and that will probably be the death of me.

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif[/img]

[EXIT63]

Ooooooh Cj101.
Look deep into my eyes.
Deeper! Deeper I say!
You are getting verrry horny.
VERRRY

HORRRNY!
And now.
You must dance the lindy hop with me. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]
Come on CJ. You must dance with me.
It takes two to tango!

[Elana]

I

think I am going to write an advice book on how men can pick up women. Everyone seems to believe everything that

they read, so no matter what I write, my book will be a success. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[EXIT63]

You could call it: Elanas\' Guide to Broads. How to pick up trashy women in 10 Easy Steps!

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Step 1: Learn to dance.

[Elana]

Step 2: One hair flip with a smile means she wants you, but two hair flips, with a smile and a foot shift means she

thinks you smell funny and wants you to go away.

[Elana]

Step 3: All women are the same and will respond to the same set of rules.

[EXIT63]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
Step 2: One hair flip with a smile means she wants

you, but two hair flips, with a smile and a foot shift means she thinks you smell funny and wants you to go away.



<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

Wait a minute, I have to disagree. Two hair flips, with a smile

and a foot shift clearly denotes an undeniable attraction and a propensity towards foot fetishsm.

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[Icarus]

Don\'t forget the leg crossing.

[CJ01]

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif[/img]

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img]

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]