From friend to more????

[Gossamer_2701]

Hey All

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I have been experimenting with \'mones for just about a month

now, with some pretty good results..... many \'hi\'s\' and smiles and quite a bit of flirting, but I had some

very unexpected results with someone I\'ve known for 15yrs

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I had asked her out when we first met, but she was into

someone else so I fell into the dreaded \'friend zone\' where I\'ve happily resided ever since. Well, I was

testing out a combo of AE/m:TE:SPMO:SOE gel and ran into her at a mutual friends house, which isn\'t uncommon. I

did happen to notice that she was a bit more talkative and very touchy feely with me (she\'s not normally a

toucher) I wanted to think that she was responding to the mones, but maybe she was just in an exceptionally good

mood or something, so I filed it away and let it go.

Since then, we have gone from me calling her once every two

weeks or so, to HER calling me FIVE times a week for the last two weeks in a row. We\'ve gone out to dinner and a

couple of bars as \'friends\' but she seems to be very flirtatious, touching my arms and gazing deep into my

eyes. We are totally different people when it comes to relationships and I find it EXTREMELY hard to believe that

she would want to change our relationship now after so many years of friendship. Especially since when we were at

the bar the other night how another one of her male friends suddenly declared his love for her, and her response was

\'How could he ever think that would happen, if it hadn\'t happened after so many years\'
But then she called

me up and asked me to come over and watch movies on Sat, so not being able to tell this girl \'no\' I went over.

While we were sitting on her couch, I kept seeing her out of the corner of my eye and she was gazing at me with this

\'lost\' or \'spaced out look\' on her face. She also kept touching my arm and changing her position on the

couch , edging ever closer each time.
I\'m not gonna lie to you, I would love to F#$K her sexy little brains out,

but I know that because of major differences in certain areas we would never... EVER make it as a couple, so I

haven\'t played along.
I guess what I\'m asking for is an objective opinion on her actions.... especially from

the smart, beautiful, funny (have I buttered you up enough yet

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img])ladies of the forum. I know I\'ve been out of the game for a

little while, but it really seems like she\'s sending me some pretty strong signals. With so much at stake (15yrs

of friendship)I just want to be absolutely sure before I even think about talking to her about it.

And NO, I

didn\'t specifically target her with the \'mones... she just kept popping up while I was experimenting, but it

really seems like she is responding to them quite nicely. She normally goes for the buff alpha males... and its

usually just a sexual thing... not one night stands, but relationships based on the sex.

Thanks for your thoughts

on this,
Goss

[OCP]

I say if you

place value on your friendship then do not hit it. I know it is tempting, but having sex with her will change the

relationship. Maybe it will get better, but most likely it will get worse. Just my two cents.

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[Sagacious1420]

Congrats on getting some good results w/ your pheros. Sure sounds like she\'s sending you some signals of

interest. I get the impression that you have been the one to call her for the occasional friendly

get together over the past few years, at least for the most part. Yes? Now she is the one calling

you and several times a week at that. Wanting to get physically closer while hangin\' out watching movies

(at her invitation) sure seems like interest, expecially if this is out of character for her. Now if she were just

the touchy feely type, then I wouldn\'t think much of it...but that\'s not the case here is it. Women tend to

be very conscious of their personal space, so if she\'s \"inviting you in\" and giving you a DIHL at the same

time, you\'re pheros must be having an effect. You mentioned that she typically goes for the buff alpha type and

I get the impression that you don\'t see yourself as such. Well, you may not necessarily look the part, but to

her I bet you sure smell the part, huh.

So the question is what to do from here. IMO, you have a few options.

However you decide to handle this, I think it\'s best to not get all serious on her all of the sudden.

If you wanna broach the subject, keep it light hearted and say something like \"ya know, if I didn\'t know any

better, I\'d swear that you\'ve been coming on to me lately\"...or something to that effect. Pay attention to

how she reacts , not so much what she says . Know what I mean? It\'s gonna be a lot more

comfortable for both of you to discuss the situation if you keep things light. So you could keep things on the LJBF

level or you could just go for it and let the cards fall where they may. There\'s always a 3rd option, but

it\'s success really depends on the individuals involved. There is the possiblity of starting a

\"friends w/ benefits\" relationship, but not everyone can managae such a relationship very well. In my

experience, you have to be very open w/ each other and get everything hashed out beforehand to avoid the possibility

of things getting wierd later on. If you both highly value the friendship, but are both also interested in

a physical relationship, then you need to lay down some ground rules from the beginning. If you stay focussed on

the friendship, then your chances of success are far greater. That is, if you enter into a \"friends w/

benefits\" relationship, but later decide against the \"benefits\" part, then you still have your friendship. In

my experience, you\'ll end up w/ an even closer friendship in most cases.

This type of situation can

work. I have such a relationship w/ a friend right now...going on for about a year now. It\'s a situation much

like yours in that we both know that we really have no long term compatibility for a \"romantic\" or \"love\"

relationship, but at the same time are very attracted to each other physically. We entered into this arrangement

specifically because neither one of us want to be in a \"relationship\", but still have \"needs\". It actually

started out as a little joke between us one day. We got everything out in the open from the beginning, we still see

other ppl and often give each other advice about ppl we are pursuing/seeing. lol! The thing is that because we keep

our focus on the friendship, there is no sense of being \"threatened\" by any secondary relationships that we may

be involved in. We also understand that if this thing runs its natural course or we get involved in a more serious

relationship w/ someone, the friendship remains and there are no hard feelings. In fact, our friendship has become

so close that we wouldn\'t be anything but happy for and supportive of the other. It can be very cool, if you

handle it right. I\'ve had more \"friends w/ benefits\" than I\'ve had girlfriends and for the most part they

work out quite well. What could be better? Sex w/ no strings or hassles and if you keep things discreet, then you

both have the fun of sharing this \"dirty little secret\" and you\'ll always have that little secret long after

things run their course. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[Gossamer_2701]

WOW!!!

Sagacious, thanx for the insight....

You were pretty much dead on with that. I do consider myself an alpha (or

at least semi-alpha) in the sense that I have no problem taking control and steering any situation in the direction

that it needs to go, people follow my lead quite easily. I simply choose not to, if there is someone else to do it

(just easier) but I still have that aura about me though. I\'ve found that I have better results with less none

and more nol and rone, but she must really be picking up on that extra none.
I have also had a couple \'friends

w/benefits\'over the years, both working out great until one moved across the country and the other got married...

no more benefits for me [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]LOL
I just know from this girls past

\'just sex\' relationships, that there is probably a 75% chance that it will end very... VERY badly, so I am

definitely leaning towards the LJBF role (I accepted that a looong time ago)but your advice on how to broach the

subject is EXCELLENT and I will surely put it to good use [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]
I just

don\'t want to keep on ignoring her signals, because a woman scorned.... well I\'m sure you know how that saying

goes... I just wanted an impartial opinion on her \'signals\'. Sometimes its hard to see the forest through the

trees [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

On a different note.... I totally agree with all the

\'less is more\' talk!!!! I\'ve been increasing the daily (or ever other day) hits as I decrease the amounts

of the products.

Thanks again,
Goss