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  1. #1
    Phero Pharaoh
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  2. #2
    Man of La Pancha
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    Default Re: My wife\'s married, but I\'m not....

    I still say find one person you can love and have wild sex with all of the time, and that\'s all

    you\'ll need... It just takes a lot of work sometimes to keep going. I don\'t know about you, but I\'d never

    have a problem getting hot for the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Oh, well. I guess I\'m an

    idealist.

  3. #3
    Phero Pharaoh
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    Default Re: My wife\'s married, but I\'m not....

    </font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
    I still say find one person you can love and have

    wild sex with all of the time, and that\'s all you\'ll need... It just takes a lot of work sometimes to keep

    going. I don\'t know about you, but I\'d never have a problem getting hot for the person I wanted to spend the

    rest of my life with. Oh, well. I guess I\'m an idealist.

    <hr /></blockquote><font

    class=\"post\">

    Actually, I agree. I can\'t handle more than one. Besides, one never runs out of pay options.

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

  4. #4
    Man of La Pancha
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    Default Re: My wife\'s married, but I\'m not....

    </font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
    </font><blockquote><font

    class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
    I still say find one person you can love and have wild sex with all of the

    time, and that\'s all you\'ll need... It just takes a lot of work sometimes to keep going. I don\'t know

    about you, but I\'d never have a problem getting hot for the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

    Oh, well. I guess I\'m an idealist.

    <hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

    Actually, I agree. I

    can\'t handle more than one. Besides, one never runs out of pay options.

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

    <hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

    Which reminds

    me... Sunday I\'m coming over to \"fix your stereo\", Tuesday I\'m coming over to \"clean your pipes\", and

    Thursday you\'re stopping by to \"rearrange my furniture\"...right?

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

  5. #5
    Carpal Tunnel Whitehall's Avatar
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    Default You scoff....

    Life\'s a bit more

    complicated than some of you young folks imagine.....

  6. #6
    Banned User Elana's Avatar
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    Default Re: My wife\'s married, but I\'m not....

    </font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
    I still say find one person you can

    love and have wild sex with all of the time, and that\'s all you\'ll need... It just takes a lot of work

    sometimes to keep going. I don\'t know about you, but I\'d never have a problem getting hot for the person I

    wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

    <hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

    That was funny

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

  7. #7
    Banned User
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    Default Re: My wife\'s married, but I\'m not....

    I don\'t know, but personally I just can\'t imagine to be attracted to and stay with someone for

    the rest of my life. I have seen it all around me and almost no-one stays together...

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif[/img]

  8. #8
    Banned User Elana's Avatar
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    Default Re: My wife\'s married, but I\'m not....

    </font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
    I don\'t know, but personally I just

    can\'t imagine to be attracted to and stay with someone for the rest of my life. I have seen it all around me and

    almost no-one stays together... [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif[/img]

    <hr /></blockquote><font

    class=\"post\">

    It\'s a nice fantasy, but that is all it is.

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]
    I am not saying that people don\'t stay in love and feel

    passion for each other, but what Pancho said (no offense sweetness)

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] was just funny.

  9. #9
    Phero Pharaoh
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    Default Re: My wife\'s married, but I\'m not....

    </font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
    </font><blockquote><font

    class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
    </font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
    I still say

    find one person you can love and have wild sex with all of the time, and that\'s all you\'ll need... It just

    takes a lot of work sometimes to keep going. I don\'t know about you, but I\'d never have a problem getting hot

    for the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Oh, well. I guess I\'m an idealist.

    <hr

    /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

    Actually, I agree. I can\'t handle more than one. Besides, one never

    runs out of pay options. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

    <hr /></blockquote><font

    class=\"post\">

    Which reminds me... Sunday I\'m coming over to \"fix your stereo\", Tuesday I\'m coming

    over to \"clean your pipes\", and Thursday you\'re stopping by to \"rearrange my furniture\"...right?

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

    <hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

    I dunno, Panch

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]. Last time was GREAT (especially after the hypnosis). But, you

    walked away, afterward, whistling \"Mrs. Robinson.\"

  10. #10
    Phero Pharaoh
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    Default Re: My wife\'s married, but I\'m not....

    </font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
    I don\'t know, but personally I just can\'t

    imagine to be attracted to and stay with someone for the rest of my life. I have seen it all around me and almost

    no-one stays together... [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif[/img]

    <hr /></blockquote><font

    class=\"post\">

    I sort of like \"serial monogamy.\" [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

  11. #11
    Banned User Elana's Avatar
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    Default Re: My wife\'s married, but I\'m not....

    </font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
    </font><blockquote><font

    class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
    I don\'t know, but personally I just can\'t imagine to be attracted to

    and stay with someone for the rest of my life. I have seen it all around me and almost no-one stays together...

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif[/img]

    <hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

    I sort of like

    \"serial monogamy.\" [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

    <hr /></blockquote><font

    class=\"post\">

    Everyone likes it, it is just not realistic to want to have \"wild sex\" with your partner

    for life and not crave other people. It sounds great. It just doesn\'t happen.

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

  12. #12
    Man of La Pancha
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    Default Re: My wife\'s married, but I\'m not....

    </font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
    </font><blockquote><font

    class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
    </font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr

    />
    </font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
    I still say find one person you can love and

    have wild sex with all of the time, and that\'s all you\'ll need... It just takes a lot of work sometimes to

    keep going. I don\'t know about you, but I\'d never have a problem getting hot for the person I wanted to spend

    the rest of my life with. Oh, well. I guess I\'m an idealist.

    <hr /></blockquote><font

    class=\"post\">

    Actually, I agree. I can\'t handle more than one. Besides, one never runs out of pay options.

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

    <hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

    Which reminds

    me... Sunday I\'m coming over to \"fix your stereo\", Tuesday I\'m coming over to \"clean your pipes\", and

    Thursday you\'re stopping by to \"rearrange my furniture\"...right?

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

    <hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

    I dunno, Panch

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]. Last time was GREAT (especially after the hypnosis). But, you

    walked away, afterward, whistling \"Mrs. Robinson.\"

    <hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

    See, now

    if I could just hypnotize you for the rest of your life, my idealism juuuuuuuust might work...

  13. #13
    Man of La Pancha
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    Default Re: My wife\'s married, but I\'m not....

    Okay, before I get butchered any more...

    *Step onto soapbox*

    I realize the psychology of it all

    because I\'m a psych minor and also a huge psychology buff. The \'love drug\' that makes you go crazy in love

    with someone lasts for about 1 1/2-2 years, which is the critical time for developing children. Guys are also

    \'programmed\' to spread their seed as much as they can, while women are supposed to be the \'selective

    ones\' and pick the best mate. I also know that anything can be habituated, and you will lose that \'spark\',

    \'fire\', etc. from just the simple fact that you\'ve spent so damn long with them and your senses get used to

    it. New people are, of course, new and bring back all of the \'sparks\', etc. as your previous mate did. Sex

    will never be wild and crazy forever, and being \'in love\' dies like anything else. It is almost futile to

    resist human nature.

    There, happy?

    However, I also know that I am unique in my personal experiences. I am a

    BIG fan of routine and commitment. I also know what happened to me when my parents divorced, so I won\'t marry

    anyone unless I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with this person (and I\'d be too stubborn to get a

    divorce). My crazy willpower has allowed me to eat the same damn Total Raisin Bran (before they came out with

    Wheaties Energy Crunch, the third brand of Total, and other 100% cereals) every school day for an entire year, and I

    might just be crazy enough to psych myself into committing myself to someone for life for better or for worse.

    Since I love routine, I would have no problem having sex with the same person over and over again because I will

    always remember those lonely times like now when I go months without sex...but hey, that\'s just me.

    That being

    said, I still want to have sex with every girl I think is attractive, too. I think it\'s fine as long as you

    don\'t cheat. If you\'re going to cheat on someone like in that article, have the heart to break up with the

    person first. Then you\'re not cheating. What a concept!

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

    Joke of the Day (I realize it\'s stupid and disgusting

    (unless you like that sort of thing...nothing wrong with that); it\'s supposed to be):
    You don\'t ask another

    guy to jerk you off when you get bored of your own hand, do you?

  14. #14
    Sadhu
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    Default Re: My wife\'s married, but I\'m not....

    fancying other people is one thing, that´s not to say you can´t be faithful to one person for a long period of

    time. And it´s not idealistic either, I know one or two couples like that.

  15. #15
    Banned User Elana's Avatar
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    Default Re: My wife\'s married, but I\'m not....

    </font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
    fancying other people is one thing,

    that´s not to say you can´t be faithful to one person for a long period of time. And it´s not idealistic either, I

    know one or two couples like that.

    <hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

    I agree, CJ. I still have

    faith that many couples do remain faithful.

  16. #16
    Phero Pharaoh
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    Default Re: My wife\'s married, but I\'m not....

    </font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
    </font><blockquote><font

    class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
    fancying other people is one thing, that´s not to say you can´t be faithful

    to one person for a long period of time. And it´s not idealistic either, I know one or two couples like that.



    <hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

    I agree, CJ. I still have faith that many couples do remain

    faithful.

    <hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

    Agree with both of you. I think it was easire to

    remain faithful when people only lived to about age 40. Now, since we live much longer, and make changes much

    faster......

  17. #17
    Sadhu
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    Default Re: My wife\'s married, but I\'m not....



    </font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
    You don\'t ask another guy to jerk you off when

    you get bored of your own hand, do you?

    <hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\"> hahahaha

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

  18. #18
    Sadhu
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    Default Re: My wife\'s married, but I\'m not....



    </font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
    I agree, CJ. I still have faith that many couples

    do remain faithful.

    <hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\"> well you´ve been sounding like you don´t believe

    in it at all. And I thought you were with someone.

  19. #19
    Banned User Elana's Avatar
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    Default Re: My wife\'s married, but I\'m not....

    </font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
    </font><blockquote><font

    class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
    I agree, CJ. I still have faith that many couples do remain faithful.



    <hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\"> well you´ve been sounding like you don´t believe in it at all. And I

    thought you were with someone.

    <hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">That is not at all what I said. I was

    laughing at the idea of someone thinking that it could always stay wild and hot between couples forever.

  20. #20
    Man of La Pancha
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    Default Re: My wife\'s married, but I\'m not....

    </font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
    </font><blockquote><font

    class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
    </font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
    I agree,

    CJ. I still have faith that many couples do remain faithful.

    <hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\"> well

    you´ve been sounding like you don´t believe in it at all. And I thought you were with someone.

    <hr

    /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">That is not at all what I said. I was laughing at the idea of someone thinking

    that it could always stay wild and hot between couples forever.


    <hr /></blockquote><font

    class=\"post\">

    And that is not at all what I said. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img] I just

    said that if I had a lover I\'d want to have hot sex all of the time. I was referring to the first few years when

    it\'s the highest because obviously it goes down over time. However, I have needs and would be looking to my

    significant other to satisfy them for years to come. It may not be as hot as the first few years, but that\'s

    when you have to be uninhibited and do whatever you can to keep the fire burning. Nothing good ever came easy...

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

  21. #21
    Administrator Bruce's Avatar
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    Default Re: My wife\'s married, but I\'m not....

    I never cheated on my wife, and I\'ve managed to get by some inviting situations without indulging. I think they

    call it \"cheating\" for a reason. It\'s generaly dishonest and abusive. I suppose if a couple work out some

    sort of \"deal\" that both parties are *really* happy with, then that is certainly their own business. What I get

    out of that article however, is plain old breaking promises, back-stabbing, addictive behavior etc etc, and what you

    don\'t see between the lines is the abuse that goes on within each of the flings. Somebody often gets hurt there

    too; somebody wants the other one to leave their SO; soap operas upon soap operas. Been there, done that; not in my

    marriage (thank God, knock on wood or whatever you prefer), but in my young single 60s/70s \"free love\" days, I

    spent enough time as a love junky to know what I am talking about.

    Maybe I am just an old fart, but I believe in

    honesty. When I make a deal, that deal is very important to me. I don\'t cheat. I\'ll even grant you that

    the deal may be \"subject to renegotiation\", under circumstances that the couple has to establish for themselves,

    but cheating is cheating. Face it. It hurts like hell.

    Sincerely,
    Bruce

  22. #22
    Carpal Tunnel Whitehall's Avatar
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    Default Re: My wife\'s married, but I\'m not....

    Cheating is also refusing to have sex with your partner or doing so only by making it distasteful.



    Marriage vows include a presumption of sexual availability... or at least they used to. If one person breaks

    the contract, then the contract is broken for both.

    That\'s unfortunate but just. With kids, staying together

    as a couple is more important than either partner\'s preferences so sometimes compromises from our ideal

    relationship have to be made.

    Bruce, you\'re a fortunate man.

  23. #23
    Doctor of Scentology DrSmellThis's Avatar
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    Default Re: My wife\'s married, but I\'m not....

    </font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
    </font><blockquote><font

    class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
    You don\'t ask another guy to jerk you off when you get bored of your own

    hand, do you?

    <hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\"> hahahaha

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

    <hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">
    The Bible says

    love your neighbor as yourself.

    But how about switching hands?

  24. #24
    Doctor of Scentology DrSmellThis's Avatar
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    Default I\'ve almost as many answers as one of Jerry Springer\'s end of show monologues :p

    Yes Bruce is fortunate. No doubt he made some of his own

    fortune.

    Monogamy is certainly the simplest way, to put it mildly, so it\'s well worth trying to make it

    work, or trying to find someone to make it work with. It certainly can and does work. And if it seems not to work

    for someone, it is worth it to take a good hard look at possible reasons, by the same token.

    There is another

    side of course, but that other side, put into practice, carries lots of exquisite pain with whatever pleasure, for

    most all parties, even in relatively good case scenarios.

    Sometimes intense suffering is unavoidable in

    life, for oneself and meaningful others. Being willing to suffer oneself for a good cause can sometimes be a useful

    tool for minimizing overall suffering, at least to a point.

    For those who have lots of sexual energy, a

    sexless marriage is at times torturous, scary, and desparate.

    One can, with deliberate work, transmute some

    of one\'s sexual energy into creativity, physical vitality, and love for one\'s community.

    The rest is a

    matter of balance and harmony, even where valued principles are concerned. No one who has not walked in your shoes

    can determine where the harmony in your \"wildly polytonal\" life is.

    Cheating is cheating, and cheating is

    bad in various ways. Whether it is absolutely bad for some person is another question. Most of us hope and

    pray we will never cheat, if we have not. Sometimes \"arrangements\" can be worked out, but usually

    not.

    Nonetheless, it is well worth working like hell whenever and wherever \"hell\" is at stake, even if

    this work involves ending a relationship.

  25. #25
    Man of La Pancha
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    Default Re: My wife\'s married, but I\'m not....

    </font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
    </font><blockquote><font

    class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
    </font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
    You

    don\'t ask another guy to jerk you off when you get bored of your own hand, do you?

    <hr /></blockquote><font

    class=\"post\"> hahahaha [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif[/img]

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

    <hr

    /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">
    The Bible says love your neighbor as yourself.

    But how about switching

    hands?

    <hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

    Switching hands is like switching from the missionary to

    \"snake in hen\'s mouth\" (as in the Kama Sutra) position...

  26. #26
    Carpal Tunnel Whitehall's Avatar
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    Default Free Sex for Life!

    One of the men\'s

    magazines a few months ago had on the cover:

    <font color=\"red\"> WIN FREE SEX FOR LIFE </font>



    Eye-catching, no? Inside the details of the offer were about how to win a free wedding ring.

    How

    droll.

  27. #27
    Administrator Bruce's Avatar
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    Default Re: Free Sex for Life!

    It is true I am very

    lucky. Not because it was easy getting where we are, or because we are completely out of the woods, neither of

    which are true, but because we always seemed to get some magic from somewhere just when and where we needed it.

    I

    hit some very desperate times with my marriage; so bad that had we been living in the US at the time, I probably

    would have indulged myself in some legal consultation. What we did though was renegotiate the contract. As

    painful as it was for both of us at the time, we agreed to stay together and really work on the marriage at least

    until our one child was in middle school. Then if we didn\'t want to be together, we would discuss the matter

    with our kid and work out a divorce. Maybe that sounds crazy, but it really worked for us. Things began to improve

    immediately, the key being that the deal was that we would \"work at the marriage\" and needless to say no

    cheating. Yeah, there were some periods where Rosey Palm was my gf, but I stuck to the rules and assume my wife did

    too. With no extramarital holes poked in our lust containers, we were eager to get together sexually when the time

    was right. A couple of years of rough going but steady improvement, and we decided to have another kid. That was a

    major turning point, and we have never felt the need to discuss divorce again or any other new terms to the contract

    other than what we agreed to in front of our friends and family when we got married.

    WH, under the terms you

    mention, I would renegotiate the contract rather than just automatically consider it null and void. If both patners

    have reached a point where they have no problem with the other spending time with others, maybe that can be written

    in. I dont\' know. I would be devastated if my wife came to me out of the blue with a proposal like that, but

    under the conditions you describe, maybe it is the way to go, and beats the secrecy thing by a mile in my book.

    B


  28. #28
    Sadhu
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    Default Re: Free Sex for Life!



    </font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
    WIN FREE SEX FOR LIFE

    Eye-catching, no? Inside

    the details of the offer were about how to win a free wedding ring.


    <hr /></blockquote><font

    class=\"post\"> a ring? For one person? weirdos [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

  29. #29
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    Default Re: Free Sex for Life!

    It amazes me

    the excuses people find for cheating. Marriage is not just a contract, it is your given promise. Regardless of any

    other person\'s behavior, a promise is still that. To cheat is to demean yourself even more so than it is to your

    partner. If there is an issue in a marriage where a person\'s needs are not being fulfilled then there are grounds

    for renegotiation, to seek counseling or to divorce. But to cheat, with the lying and deceit that goes with it, can

    never be justified. The explanation that a divorce is impossible doesn\'t hold water. No child is better off in a

    household where there is constant strife or where one or both parents are demonstrating marital infidelity. It\'s

    easy to say they won\'t catch on but they will. Children are very perceptive. They may not be able to verbalize it

    but they do know that something is wrong.

  30. #30
    Phero Dude OCP's Avatar
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    Default Re: My wife\'s married, but I\'m not....

    </font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
    I still say find one person you can love and have

    wild sex with all of the time, and that\'s all you\'ll need... It just takes a lot of work sometimes to keep

    going. I don\'t know about you, but I\'d never have a problem getting hot for the person I wanted to spend the

    rest of my life with. Oh, well. I guess I\'m an idealist.

    <hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">



    It is impossible to have Wild sex everytime. Spouses are tired, kids interupt, one or the other is not in the

    mood, Whiskey dick. However, couples should make it as enjoyable for each other as life allows.

    It is

    unfortunate that wives turn into mothers. At that point sex goes way down on the scale of what is important. Do

    not get me wrong; it is still enjoyable, but kids, the home, etc become more important. With that said it is still

    very important, perhaps even more important than before, for wives to make the effort to please their husbands.

    I

    believe if someone wants to cheat it most likely is not about sex alone. There are other deeper issues in the

    relationship that need to be corrected. If you cheat you will get caught and the hurt that will be created will be

    devestating sp? for alot of innocent people. If you really care for your spouse you will not cheat.

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img]

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