product instructions

[Gossamer_2701]

Sorry guys, I

just had to post this. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img] It really makes you wonder about the

people who write these product instructions.


In case you needed further proof that the human race
is doomed

through stupidity, here are some actual
label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use

while sleeping.
(Damn, and that\'s the only time I have to work on my
hair).

On a bag of Fritos: You could be

a winner! No purchase
necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap:

\"Directions: Use like regular
soap.\"
(and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners:

\"Serving suggestion:
Defrost.\"
(but, it\'s \"just\" a suggestion).

On Tesco\'s Tiramisu dessert

(printed on bottom): \"Do
not turn upside down.\"
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread

Pudding: \"Product will be hot
after heating.\"
(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:

\"Do not iron clothes
on body.\"
(but wouldn\'t this save me more time)?

On Boot\'s Children Cough

Medicine: \"Do not drive a car
or operate machinery after taking this medication.\"
(We could do a lot to reduce

the rate of construction
accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with
head-colds off those

forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: \"Warning: May cause drowsiness.\"
(and...I\'m taking this

because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights: \"For indoor or
outdoor use only.\"
(as opposed

to...what)?

On a Japanese food processor: \"Not to be used for the
other use.\"
(now, somebody out there,

help me on this. I\'m a bit
curious.)

On Sainsbury\'s peanuts: \"Warning: contains nuts.\"
(talk about a

news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: \"Instructions:
Open packet, eat nuts.\"
(Step 3: maybe,

uh...fly Delta?)

On a child\'s superman costume: \"Wearing of this
garment does not enable you to fly.\"
(I

don\'t blame the company. I blame the parents for
this one.)

And my personal favorite: On a Swedish chainsaw:

\"Do
not attempt to stop chain with your hands or
genitals.\"
(Oh my God...was there a lot of this

happening
somewhere?)

[EXIT63]

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

[Holmes]

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Awesome.

(Nice signature, too.)


Holmes

[belgareth]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
Sorry guys, I just had to post this.

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img] It really makes you wonder about the people who write these

product instructions.




<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

It makes me wonder about the people

who use the products.

[Pancho1188]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
</font><blockquote><font

class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
Sorry guys, I just had to post this.

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img] It really makes you wonder about the people who write these

product instructions.




<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

It makes me wonder about the people

who use the products.

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

Man, don\'t insult people like that...

I swear I had a chainsaw running and the only way to stop it was to use my genitals...

Fortunately, I have balls

of steel so it was okay.

[Elana]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
Man, don\'t insult people like that... I swear I

had a chainsaw running and the only way to stop it was to use my genitals...

Fortunately, I have balls of steel

so it was okay.


<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\"> Pancho..after your little webpage to Kari, I would

have guessed the chainsaw already removed yours. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[Sexyredhead]

You\'re

just jealous that it was about her and not YOU. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

[Elana]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
You\'re just jealous that it was about her and

not YOU. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]



<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

Oh the jealously...I just can\'t breath.
At least I have the

memories of the time that Pancho and I ran barefoot in a field of daisy\'s as he read me Shakespeare while gazing

into my eyes. Ahhhhh what a man. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[Icarus]

what a man
what

a man
what a mighty good man

[Kari]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
</font><blockquote><font

class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
You\'re just jealous that it was about her and not YOU.

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

<hr

/></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

Oh the jealously...I just can\'t breath.
At least I have the memories

of the time that Pancho and I ran barefoot in a field of daisy\'s as he read me Shakespeare while gazing into my

eyes. Ahhhhh what a man. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

<hr /></blockquote><font

class=\"post\">

Actually, Pancho told me he\'s planning ANOTHER web paen to all of us, in his harem. He just

has to come up with rhymes for \"Elana, SSG, sexyredhead.....\"

[Pancho1188]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
</font><blockquote><font

class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
You\'re

just jealous that it was about her and not YOU. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

Oh the

jealously...I just can\'t breath.
At least I have the memories of the time that Pancho and I ran barefoot in a

field of daisy\'s as he read me Shakespeare while gazing into my eyes. Ahhhhh what a man.

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

Actually,

Pancho told me he\'s planning ANOTHER web paen to all of us, in his harem. He just has to come up with rhymes for

\"Elana, SSG, sexyredhead.....\"

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

I swear the woman is

psychic...

[Elana]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
Actually, Pancho told me he\'s planning ANOTHER

web paen to all of us, in his harem. He just has to come up with rhymes for \"Elana, SSG, sexyredhead.....\"



<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

OK..but I want angels sprinkling glitter (love dust) and little

white, fluffy bunnies on mine.