G-d and the Jewish Blonde

**seadove** · 04-28-2003, 12:15 AM

A Jewish blond woman named Estee found herself in deep trouble.Her business had gone bust and she was in serious financial concern. She was so desperate that she decided to go to the Wailing Wall and ask G-d for help. She began to pray.

\"G-d, please help me. I\'ve lost my business and if I don\'t
get some money, I\'m going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto.\" Lotto night came and somebody else won. Estee went to the Wailing Wall again and prayed.
\"G-d, please let me win the lotto! I\'ve lost my business, my house, and I\'m going to lose my car as well.\"
Lotto night came and Estee still had no luck. Once again
she went and prayed \"My G-d, why have you forsaken me? I\'ve lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don\'t often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. Please just let me
win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order.\"
Suddenly there was a blinding flash of light as the heavens
opened, and Estee was confronted by the voice of G-d Himself.
\"Estee, meet Me halfway on this. Buy a ticket.\"

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

**EXIT63** · 04-28-2003, 03:42 AM

I find that highly offensive!

**seadove** · 04-28-2003, 03:44 AM

<blockquote>Quote:<hr />
I find that highly offensive!

<hr /></blockquote>

Why?

Are you Estee?

Or G-d?

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif[/img]

**franki** · 04-28-2003, 03:58 AM

Maybe he is jewish ...

**seadove** · 04-28-2003, 04:07 AM

<blockquote>Quote:<hr />
Maybe he is jewish ...

<hr /></blockquote>

So what?That\'s not a sin and I can\'t hold it against him. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

By the way, I have posted another blonde joke before but I found it really offensive so I struck it out.

But if a moderator and at least one blonde will come up and reassure me, I will definately post it.

If you want, I\'ll PM you on this.How\'s that? [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

**franki** · 04-28-2003, 04:09 AM

Oh yeah, you can PM me and Elana and if we agree on it, you are allowed to post the joke ..... [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

**seadove** · 04-28-2003, 04:13 AM

<blockquote>Quote:<hr />
Oh yeah, you can PM me and Elana and if we agree on it, you are allowed to post the joke .....

<hr /></blockquote>

How would you know if Elana would want to be the royal food taster?

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

**franki** · 04-28-2003, 04:15 AM

I can feel it. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif[/img]

**seadove** · 04-28-2003, 04:19 AM

<blockquote>Quote:<hr />
I can feel it.

<hr /></blockquote>

Oh well ok, But if she gets angry at me you\'ll feel something else from me! [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

Hang on, I\'ll PM you.

**Elana** · 04-28-2003, 04:20 AM

It tastes fine. You can keep it.

**franki** · 04-28-2003, 04:23 AM

Yeah, that picture is funny and looks OK to me. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

**seadove** · 04-28-2003, 04:24 AM

<blockquote>Quote:<hr />
It tastes fine. You can keep it.

<hr /></blockquote>

Now see what you\'ve done Franki?

Now Elana will never speak to me again.

Then I\'ll suffer from \"Blonde Deffeciency\" in my blood.

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

**franki** · 04-28-2003, 04:26 AM

<blockquote>Quote:<hr />
It tastes fine. You can keep it.

<hr /></blockquote>

I don\'t understand it either Seadove. I would think Elana would want to have more and more of it if it tastes fine .. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

**Elana** · 04-28-2003, 04:27 AM

Are you both drunk?

**seadove** · 04-28-2003, 04:30 AM

No!She\'s scolding me now and all because of you!!This joke was too offensive!

**franki** · 04-28-2003, 04:44 AM

BUSTED!

She didn\'t even see the joke! [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

**Elana** · 04-28-2003, 04:48 AM

You guys are such babies [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

http://www.webpresspro.com/funnyfarm/how_blondes_eat_bananas.htm

**seadove** · 04-28-2003, 04:53 AM

Now I\'m offended !

I\'m hurt and deprived of my unique taste for blonde women.

Will somebody apologise to me please?

Thank You!

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img]

**franki** · 04-28-2003, 04:56 AM

Ok, I apologize for being an [bad word] ... [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

**seadove** · 04-28-2003, 05:00 AM

Not enough.
Stand in the corner and write down 50 times:

Seadove is a WAGG [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

**seadove** · 04-28-2003, 05:45 AM

Post deleted by seadove now that Franki deleted his.

**Briela** · 04-28-2003, 02:22 PM

<blockquote>Quote:<hr />
By the way, I have posted another blonde joke before but I found it really offensive so I struck it out.

<hr /></blockquote>

Don\'t know why that would cause any concern at all. It\'s a really old one!

upsidedown · 04-28-2003, 06:24 PM

I\'m really offended by all these people who are so easily offended! [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ooo.gif[/img]

**franki** · 11-28-2003, 06:45 AM

<blockquote>Quote:<hr />
A Jewish blond woman named Estee found herself in

deep trouble.Her business had gone bust and she was in serious financial concern. She was so desperate that she

decided to go to the Wailing Wall and ask G-d for help. She began to pray.

\"G-d, please help me. I\'ve lost

my business and if I don\'t
get some money, I\'m going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the

lotto.\" Lotto night came and somebody else won. Estee went to the Wailing Wall again and prayed.
\"G-d,

please let me win the lotto! I\'ve lost my business, my house, and I\'m going to lose my car as

well.\"
Lotto night came and Estee still had no luck. Once again
she went and prayed \"My G-d, why have you

forsaken me? I\'ve lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don\'t often ask you

for help and I have always been a good servant to you. Please just let me
win the lotto this one time so I can get

my life back in order.\"
Suddenly there was a blinding flash of light as the heavens
opened, and Estee was

confronted by the voice of G-d Himself.
\"Estee, meet Me halfway on this. Buy a ticket.\"

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

<hr /></blockquote>

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

**Elana** · 11-28-2003, 01:42 PM

It was stupid

the first time, and guess what? It\'s still stupid. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

**Pancho1188** · 11-28-2003, 07:57 PM

Hey,

I\'m blonde, and all I have to say is THANK DUMB I\'M NOT GOD!!!

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

**Holmes** · 11-30-2003, 10:58 AM

I\'m

a god. I\'m not the God.

Holmes

**Pancho1188** · 11-30-2003, 06:14 PM

<blockquote>Quote:<hr />
I\'m a god. I\'m not the

God.

Holmes

<hr /></blockquote>

Bill Murray
Groundhog

Day
[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

**Holmes** · 11-30-2003, 06:22 PM

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] You don\'t miss a trick.

Holmes

**Bruce** · 12-02-2003, 02:23 PM

Great movie.

I bought the tape a while back and have most of the lines memorized I think.
\"Don\'t hit your sister.
Don\'t

talk in class.
and... oh yeah..
Don\'t drive on the railroad tracks.\"
swerves onto the tracks...

dadadadadadada

Quiz question: What does Murray say to the cops when they pull him over after the joy

ride?

Bruce

G-d and the Jewish Blonde

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