Okay, here\'s the deal. I realize this is Yet Another Newbie Question, so I\'ll try to pack in as much information as possible to make it easy on the experts.

I\'m a 24 year old male and just started attending a major university. I was out of school for a while working in the private sector, but decided to go back when the economy got bad. I\'m about 5\'8”, so not tall by any means, but not really short either. I\'m slender, not musclar, not cut or toned either since I haven\'t been exercising, but I\'m not super-skinny any more, having gained weight over the past year (a good portion of it making a little tummy, to my dismayed amusement, heh). Lookswise, I\'d say I\'m about average, though I\'ve been told I have captivating eyes. Some women are attracted to me, so I don\'t believe I\'m ugly or anything like that. I\'m suspicious that my testosterone might be on the low end of normal since I\'m not very hairy, not aggressive, don\'t have a pronounced jaw, seem to have a lower sex drive than a number of my male friends (sorry, no self-gratification six times a day..).

Behaviorally, I\'m not in the slightest bit alpha, I\'m conflict-avoidant, don\'t like competition, and most alphas really annoy me, though there is a small subset which I can bond with - two of my best friends are definite alphas. In general, I don\'t like men and prefer the company of women, part of this is probably because I\'m straight and they interest me more, part of it is because I find that how most men are socialized in American society is distasteful. I have anxiety and mood stability issues which are currently fair to well controlled with medication. Some of my anxiety centers around women; basically, for me, it\'s getting over the initial hump that\'s the hardest. Try as I might, I\'m not really a risk taker, and although I\'ve gotten much better at it, I still see putting myself on the line to be a risk, mainly because I\'m not good with rejection or blowing off when I make an ass of myself as everyone does now and then. Once I achieve a comfort level around them, I\'m fine, unless I really really really like them in which case I get the common “IQ points bleeding out ears” thing going on.

I also am not big on approach behavior in general, but I\'ve been practicing starting conversations, talking to random people, and trying things out socially with women that I\'m not terribly interested in since they\'re “safe” to make mistakes with. That may sound bad, but hey, you gotta start somewhere. Also, I come up with alternate ways to break the ice, by creating online communities for my classes and so on. Various personality tests put me close to the middle in terms of introversion vs. extroversion. I have distinct characteristics of both, but have moved a bit towards the introverted side since my teens, which is fine with me.. I\'m not looking to become an extrovert.

I haven\'t had too much experience with women, mainly due to fear of rejection, getting into the “friend zone”, failing to initiate, failing to portray myself as a sexual being (I\'ve been described in the past as “androgynous” .. um, no), and so forth. I feel that it\'s a combination of bad luck, poor socialization, and being somewhat subpar physically - average to decent looks but slim build, something not that many women appreciate - that\'s caused me problems. The luck and the looks to some extent I must accept. The socialization I\'ve been working on, feeling like I\'m getting better and better in a number of ways, and now I\'ve gone from small town living and not leaving the beaten path between home and work to being in the midst of a student body of around 25,000. So, it feels like with the right chain of events, I could be on the edge of a vast improvement in my social and intimate lives.

My goals are to meet lots of people and make friends and acquaintances, building a solid social network that I can rely on. Due to my personality type, I\'ll only ever have a few very close friends at a time, and that\'s fine with me, but I need to establish a network here. My other major goal is to find a woman. Surprised? Anyway, while I wouldn\'t turn up my nose at one night stands, I found out in a recent relationship that having sex with people I don\'t know all that well sometimes doesn\'t work too well for me. Besides, like I said if I got a “hit” I\'d most likely pursue it even if it was clear from the start it wasn\'t serious, but what I\'m really looking for is a committed relationship with somebody who likes me for who I am, who\'s attractive and reasonably compatible in terms of intelligence, personality, and sexuality. So, friends first (hopefully with some sexual tension! heh), then lovers, etc.

My “target” population is educated, intelligent women from around 20-28. Again, I\'d get involved with an 18 year old if she were great, but historically they\'ve tended to be trouble. :-P

So, leaving my skepticism aside for a moment (I\'ll get to it later), basically what I\'m looking for is something that can nudge interactions towards openness, warmth, friendliness, comfort, for those I\'m interacting with and also maybe me, though I have meds for that. :-P Also, a subtle push towards attraction would be great, to a point, but I couldn\'t live up to alpha male expectations nor would I want to - yes, I realize that\'s not exactly how pheromones are supposed to work, e.g. even if I soak myself in -none I\'m probably not going to be seen as an alpha, but you get the idea. So I\'d like a nudge towards easily breaking the ice, and for everyone (including me) to feel relaxed, and a significant but not overbearing nudge towards potential attraction in women. I like to talk and listen, so things that promote conversation would work nicely for me (and increase the possible influence of pheromones since I tend to get into long conversations). Clubs and bars generally aren\'t my scene, and I\'m usually my best when interacting in small groups or one on one.

I am quite skeptical about pheromones, just like any other similar thing you see sold on the net and in the back of magazines, and I think there\'s a lot of irresponsible marketing and snake oil sales going on. There\'s also a lack of research, unless there\'s a lot that I\'m somehow missing. The Cutler studies* are certainly interesting, but they haven\'t been repeated and the sample size is uncomfortably small. The subjective nature of “results”, the lack of rigorous testing, the difficulty of verifying whether the product one is getting is real, the “too good to be true” claims, the obviously bogus testimonial from non-existant people on some sites which sell the same products I hear mentioned here, and the - for lack of a better word - semi-religious tone I see in posts and the tendency to ascribe all maner of abilities to microgram quantities of odorless inhaled substances - this is the same kind of dedication I see in people who are All About Herbs or Totally Into Homeopathic Medicine or Really Believe In Astrology, and makes me highly suspicious.

On the other hand, just because there\'s currently a lack of strong evidence to support claims made about pheromones doesn\'t mean that all of the claims are false. While the amount of research which needs to be done is vast, there are small, tantalizing bits which show promise. There are anecdotes, which shouldn\'t be given much weight, but I\'ve read about the guy with the wacky hormone levels that had pigs following him around.

Pheromones have been proven to exist in the mammal kingdom and in humans, and exert some subtle influences. From the standpoint of evolutionary psychology, pheromones also make sense, though just because something makes sense doesn\'t mean it will evolve. But, for example if we go with the overly simplistic model of healthy, succesful male = more testosterone = more secreted steroids vs. stressed or unhealthy male = lower testosterone, more cortisol = less or different secreted steroids, and the female being able to detect this, that would be advantageous for the female\'s genes.

Do I believe all the hype? No, certainly not. Do I think it at least plausible that certain airbone chemicals secreted by humans can subtly affect the mood of other humans? Yes. Do I consider it likely? Possibly. Proven? Not to my satisfaction.

However, if you recall the “nudges” I was talking about before, well, not being a particularly outstanding guy, I sort of view social success as a series of nudges. Small things add up. Too many nudges in the wrong direction, and things don\'t work. A few nudges in the right direction can vastly increase success. When you\'re not outstanding, it\'s the small things that count.

My opinion after digging around on the net is that IF these products do anything at all, it\'s probably in the form of nudges, not ridiculous “chick magnet” type crap. Despite my skepticism and natural inclination towards disbelief, I figure I might give them a try, given the available evidence. This is sort of a weird position to be in for somebody who prides themself on keeping a critical mind, and not buying into marketing hype, but I guess my reasoning is that at this point in my life, if the pheromones DO work, the payoff could be immense. If not, I\'ve lost a few bucks and get to feel like a dumbass for a while, which is a minor loss compared to the potential gain.

Anyway, I\'m extremely busy and without further evidence, I\'m not interested in spending a ton of money buying 10 different products, nor am I interested in creating a pheromone chemistry set and spending a lot of time creating various potions, despite the fact that I derived a sick pleasure from organic chemistry in high school. Given the large amount of information I\'ve provided, I\'d greatly appreciate it if you, the experts, could recommend what will work best for me, preferably no more than two products (ideally one) which won\'t break the bank. If I notice tangible results, I\'ll be far more interested in continuing my experimentation.

I don\'t wear cologne often, so a product I could apply without it would also be great. When I do wear it, it\'s Tuscany.

The last thing I should mention is that one of the women I\'m currently most interested in is somebody I see first thing in the morning on the days that I see her, usually about an hour after getting out of the shower.. I\'ve seen some threads on here about lead time and whatnot, so that\'s also a factor.

From my basic research I was looking at AE. That\'s about it.

I\'ll make a little addition that I would be interested in something to subtly kick up sexual attraction or tension a notch in situations where it already exists. If this product is the same as the primary one I\'m looking for (the ideal product that I just gave you all the data to recommend to me), so much the better.

Thanks in advance for reading my mini-novel and any advice you may have.

* re: Cutler and the Athena Institute: I\'d be interested in hearing opinions on the Athena products. When I e-mailed some questions, they were quite helpful right up until the point where I asked about patents, at which point the reply got downright prickly and I was referred to their lawyer! My reason of course for searching for patents on the Athena products was to see if they contain androstenone et al, which can be more cheaply obtained elsewhere.