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  1. #1
    Phero Dude
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    Default Girls that are afraid of oral (both ways)..help

    visit-red-300x50PNG
    This is kind of a continuance of the other \"going down\" thread, but I have my own questions on this.

    I\'ve been w/ my GF for about a month and a half now. You guys probably remember the threads, well...yeah, it\'s serious now, and we\'re hooking up almost every day.

    I love giving her oral. I love it almost as much as I enjoy the sex, and I\'ve done it almost as many times as I have had sex with her; but it\'s really not comfortable for her I don\'t think. I went down on her before we had sex, and have done it a couple times when we haven\'t even had sex...just to have to pleasure of doing it to her. She keeps questioning whether I like or why I like doing it, like there\'s something about her that would make me not... Not to sound arrogant, but I know I\'m good at it; as she has talked to her friend Amy telling her how good I am and she\'s told me I\'m the best she\'s ever had before on oral. To me, it\'s the best thing in the world, b/c I know I can make her get off w/o even having to take my pants off; and I have before; but she still seems hesitant when I want to go down on her, and she has yet to really return the favor. I\'ve told her how much I love it, and how good she tastes and smells; but she still seems a little weird about it...even after me doing more than a few times.

    Don\'t get me wrong, I love giving it to her and the sex itself is great; but what can I do to get her to maybe return it every now and then? The only time she has even gone down near there (other than hand rubbing it outside the boxers in the pants) was the first time we had sex, and she acted like she didn\'t want to do it or didn\'t know what she was doing. She was really gentle with it, and just like kissed it a couple of times then we went straight to the sex.

    I\'m uncut, but I would consider myself VERY clean down there. I shave (except for a little patch), so there\'s not a lot of hair down there and every time we have had sex, I have made sure I had a shower within an hour of us going at it... So I don\'t know if she doesn\'t want to do it b/c she doesn\'t know or doesn\'t think she\'ll be any good, or whether she thinks it\'s nasty or what...but what do you girls think I can do? She will let me do anything I want to her, including biting, scratching, hair pulling...which she really loves and is a huge turnon for me..and she does that back, but as far as foreplay beforehand it\'s all one sided then she\'s begging me to stick it in her and we go straight in to the sex...

    Any ideas/suggestions?

    -Jon

  2. #2
    Banned User Elana's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girls that are afraid of oral (both ways)..help

    Jon- it\'s wonderful that you are such a great lover and get so much pleasure from pleasing her. Good boy. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

    You may want to get some of those edible flavored oils, or chocolate body paints and have some fun with food. Some women are not big fans of oral sex. The only thing that you can do is make it as pleasurable (and tasty) [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] as possible. What woman could resist a big chocolate dick. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

  3. #3
    Pheromaniac Sexyredhead's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girls that are afraid of oral (both ways)..help

    oooh, the cherry-flavored Motion Lotion is pretty cheap, you can get it at Spencer\'s last time I checked, and it\'s yummy. It also gets warmer when you rub it or blow on it, so that adds to the fun. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]

    A thought: Why not get something tasty, then take turns putting a bit on a place you want to be kissed/licked. You can gradually work her down there, and the flavor may not make her so skittish. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] And let her know how much you like anything she does. If she knows she\'s pleasuring you, she\'s probably more likely to keep doing it.

    When doing this, make sure you\'ve got time for a shower afterward. It can be a bit messy. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

  4. #4
    Banned User Elana's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girls that are afraid of oral (both ways)..help

    The king of all kings of flavored oils....

    Kama Sutra Oil of Love.
    It\'s expensive and worth every penny. It makes a great lube and you can really feel the heat.

  5. #5
    Phero Dude
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    Default Re: Girls that are afraid of oral (both ways)..help

    Awesome, thanks so far ladies. I\'ve got some Cranberry Motion Lotion (virtually a full bottle) right now, and I\'ll have to make sure to pick up some strawberries and maybe some chocolate or what u guys mentioned the next time I go shopping.

    -Jon

  6. #6
    Phero Dude
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    Default Re: Girls that are afraid of oral (both ways)..help

    Hey Jon.

    Sounds to me like your girl\'s a little shy, maybe apprehensive about going down on you. It\'s obviously not a matter of attraction since you *can* get her off, so she\'s probably afraid that she won\'t be any good at it. It\'s a valid fear. With the sex, she doesn\'t have to actively DO anything for you to enjoy it, but with oral it\'s all on her. From your previous posts, it seemed to me that she wasn\'t as experienced as you\'d originally thought, and I think that\'s really showing now. It can be really intimidating for a girl (especially one who isn\'t that experienced) to go down on a guy and with all the pressure to be \"good\" at it. Add onto that the fact that she enjoys what you do to her, and there\'s even more pressure. You need to subtly let her know that anything she wants to do to you is fine. She needs to feel reassured that you aren\'t going to think less of her if she doesn\'t go about it \"right\". You have to be subtle though, or you might offend her, and you certainly don\'t want to pressure her. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] It\'s possible that she has some reservations based on a past experience (like she overheard one of her previous BFs criticizing it or she wasn\'t able to get him off or something similar). A good way to get her more familiar with touching you is to comment on it when she brushes you acciddentally. You know, you guys are making out, and she accidentally brushes you with her arm or leg- tell her how good it felt or say \"thanks\". I know that sounds cheesy, but if she has on jeans or some thicker material, she may not even realize she\'s brushed you. Maybe it would make her feel more secure to read up on oral and pick up some techniques and pointers. I\'m a research girl all the way (about EVERYTHING- it gets annoying sometimes [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]), and I know that once I read up a little about it I felt a *whole* lot more confident. FTR posted a while back about cock worship, and although I didn\'t actually call it that, I\'ve been doing it (or a variation) for a several years now and gotten nothing but compliments. It makes it a whole lot more enjoyable to do when I know I can totally wrap him around my finger with it (metaphorically speaking, of course), so I no longer have any reservations about going down. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img] Anyway, here\'s a link I found a while back during one of my research jaunts that\'s pretty good. Some of this stuff is probably going to be too advanced for her right now (like the deep throating), but there are some great \"lessons\" here. I have no idea how you\'re gonna get her to this site, but I imagine you can be creative. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

    http://www.sexuality.org/l/sex/fellatio.html

    Good luck! [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

  7. #7
    Phero Dude
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    Default Re: Girls that are afraid of oral (both ways)..help

    DVK, thanks. I know what I\'ll do. I\'ll get some Karma Sutra type books, and put them on my bookshelf b/c I know she will probably see it when she comes over next time...and let her be curious on her own :P. I could use some new \"pointers\" too, so it\'s a win/win situation. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Girls that are afraid of oral (both ways)..help

    oh man i love the blueberry flavored stuff oh man do i love it..its like eating pie..

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    Banned User Elana's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girls that are afraid of oral (both ways)..help

    </font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
    oh man i love the blueberry flavored stuff oh man do i love it..its like eating pie..

    <hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

    I prefer not to alter the flavor of a man, but for a really warm lube.....again I sing the phrases of Oil Of Love from Kama Sutra. I have every flavor with back ups. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]

  10. #10
    Banned User EXIT63's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girls that are afraid of oral (both ways)..help

    </font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
    Jon- it\'s wonderful that you are such a great lover and get so much pleasure from pleasing her. Good boy

    <hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

    kissy kissy smooch smooch smooch [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

  11. #11
    Banned User EXIT63's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girls that are afraid of oral (both ways)..help

    If you thinks it\'s tough getting blown now....Wait til you get married!!! [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ooo.gif[/img]

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    Default Re: Girls that are afraid of oral (both ways)..hel

    Strawberry yogurt is a good one too, especially if it\'s just out of the fridge, makes you go cucu wild. In any case it depends on her feelings about food games and other kinda props. It can work both ways, either it seems more tame to her cus she\'s just eating some fruity stuff, or it can seem a little too naughty for you level of trust, depends.

    Basically you\'re not going to get a very good blow job, so accept that for starters. One thing to do is \"fake your orgasms\" accordingly. If she\'s just tiptoeing around, stay silent. But if she starts getting a little more into it, reward her with some moans. That will both indicate what you like, and get her hornier.
    One last thing, I\'m also uncircumcised, and have found that women always have a problem understanding the importance of the extra flesh, when it comes to masturbation (and masturbation + oral). It\'s very different from doing so with an circumcised penis. So give her a little lesson on that.

  13. #13
    Phero Dude
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    Default Re: Girls that are afraid of oral (both ways)..hel

    Thanks Elvido.

    I\'m still trying to figure out about how to go about it with her, w/o using anything like the food. I\'ve never really done it w/ food before, and though it sounds like a good idea; I don\'t think I\'m really ready for it. You guys/girls have any ideas on hinting toward getting her to go down there, how much I would enjoy it...etc.

    I also know what you\'re talking about w/ the extra skin elvido. I got a BJ from a girl about 2 months ago (right before my GF and I started going out), who kind of ignored it and worked other parts...and I had to help her out a little bit in order to make it pleasurable. Either way though, it was still good :P

    -Jon

  14. #14
    Sadhu
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    Default Re: Girls that are afraid of oral (both ways)..hel

    pelotudo, some info on your gf might be helpful actually. However not all things can be explained by a persons age or leverl of experience everytime. It sounds like you´re really making an effort which is really great - good man [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img].
    Perhaps she´s questioning your enjoyment ( going down on her) because she´s had negative experiences or so. I mean some men don´t really like it, right.
    Could also be that after you´ve been together long enough she´s gonna be more comfortable with it - it´s also a matter of trust etc.

    I´m not so sure about why she´s not so into going down on you either. Perhaps she doesn´t like being compared to previous bj-givers or whatever.

    You did mention you´re uncut and perhaps she just prefers cut ones ???? I´m just guessing here because given the choice I´ll always go for the cut one - I just prefer them somehow ( but don´t feel bad please!! [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] ) - It´s just a thought y´know.
    This reminds me of a discussion we had on this forum AGES ago about circumsion....

    I guess it´s not an easy subject to bring up and maybe it´s best to wait and see what happens ...? You haven´t been together all that long so things can change
    CJ [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

  15. #15
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    Default Re: Girls that are afraid of oral (both ways)..hel

    God [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif[/img] , sorting out this problem is really easy :

    First thing you need to do is : TALK TO HER ! Yes to HER not to US (the forum people). However , Do it the same exact way as in the first post , where u described the problem.

    Honesty is a keyword here. She likes u , so she will tell you the truth about why she doesn\'t go down on u !

    My guess on this one is : She isn\'t experienced in giving blowjobs + fully aware of this , so she rather does NOTHING than something that (she thinks) U wouldn\'t like.

    Again , NOT A BIG DEAL ! Quite the opposite : You got yourself a real gem there ! YOu have the amazing opportunity to be HER teacher ! Yes , TEACH her what to do , how u like it , what not to do. BE honest about everything. Believe me she will be into it + loving it as soon as she racks up on skill points [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

    Be easy about it , say something along these lines : \"Baby , do u like how I please you with my tongue ?\" Her Answer : Yes
    \"Well , I happen to enjoy it just as much as you do , if only u did it to me more often.\"

    Or even more down to the truth : \" Baby , are u afraid of doing somehting wrong down there ? Don\'t worry , let me be your teacher (say it with a smile , that shows u are easy about it , willing to experiment and not too worried if she does mistakes)

    That should do the trick. If not , remember : Sex is about give and take (both partners) - so far u are giving , and she is taking. Doesn\'t sound fair ? So incase she is only a taker , stop giving those great orals...stick to sex only for a while - this will have her thinking , I bet u that.

    Well, I hope u will not need the last advice. Just be honest with her and u will be fine + gettin that d**k s***ed ...finally [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]


    One last thing : I did this TEACHER stuff , to quite a few girls before the steady relationship time. THEY ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT ! Its like discovering a new favourite toy to play with .) Even now , in a relationship....i finetuned her techniques quite a bit to better suit my needs [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

  16. #16
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    Default Re: Girls that are afraid of oral (both ways)..hel

    I\'m in complete agreement with Tbird. Great advice, IMHO. There\'s not enough communication (*QUALITY* communication) between couples these days (as is reflected in our high divorce rates). People could be so much happier if they would just *listen* to each other and talk through some of their problems before acting. Ok, that\'s my soapbox for the day! [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

  17. #17
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    Default Re: Girls that are afraid of oral (both ways)..hel

    Did I miss something, or did someone forget mention the fact that...maybe she thinks that allowing a penis to penetrate her lips is......NASTY!? [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif[/img] Helloooooooooooooo! If she has never done it, maaaaaaybe it\'s something dirty to her. You know how many guys there are that wouldn\'t lick a clit, but loves to feel a skillful mouth slobbing on their knobs? Lotssssssss! Big P, you\'re just gonna have to ask why she doesn\'t, and work on it from there. TBird\'s in the right ball park, as fer as asking HER. Good luck, and may the lips upon your favorite lady frien, welcome your throbbing member, soon! [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

  18. #18
    Banned User Elana's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girls that are afraid of oral (both ways)..hel

    TBird baby...you are such a stud [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]
    Excellent advice

  19. #19
    Banned User Elana's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girls that are afraid of oral (both ways)..hel

    If you went down on her in 69 position and had your dick near her face, she may just start playing around. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]

  20. #20
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    Default Re: Girls that are afraid of oral (both ways)..hel

    Maybe she´s done bjs before and just didn´t enjoy it?
    Oral sex after all IS much more intimate than intercourse. It could be that she´s not so comfortable with this much (and type) of intimacy. Again - just guessing here.

    I wouldn´t do the 69 just yet but if you do eventually, let her be on top! [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

    CJ [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

  21. #21
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    Default Re: Girls that are afraid of oral (both ways)..help

    w00t, finally got my internet back up (thunderstorm fried my cable over the weekend).

    I think I\'m just going to go along with it for a while, and see if she doesn\'t become more comfortable about it. I am kind of thinking she thinks it\'s gross, b/c of a couple comments she made when we were watching Old School yesterday. You guys know the part where he\'s giving the BJ class.. She was like, \"that\'s disgusting\"...so I\'m thinking that\'s it more than anything now..but I don\'t want to come off sounding like an ass or whatever if I bring it up to her.

    On the part about not giving her the favor... Even though I know she loves it, she loves just going straight for the sex just as much. As of now we\'ve had more quickies than anything; and 1/2 the time she\'s happy w/ just pulling down the pants and sliding the panties over and getting it done; so I\'m not sure how well not giving the favor thing is going to work for now. It\'s not a big deal, but it does get kind of aggrivating knowing I enjoy doing it so much to her and she wouldn\'t want to return it; and not knowing why...

    -Jon

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    Default Re: Girls that are afraid of oral (both ways)..help



    Some girls just aren\'t into the oral thing.....if she\'s begging for the big dog, then you could be looking at one of two possible answers, she is really getting off and/or enjoying the real thing, or, she is possibly trying to get you to forget about what you really want by getting you to knock your rocks off the non-oral way.

    In my opinion, I would figure most girls know what you want....

    I do think I understand what you are dealing with because it sounds like me when I was younger.

    I got so into reading your original post that I had to stop lurking and put my 2 cents in.

    I had always been a straight f**k until I met up with a guy who touched my soul with a great tongue, and I don\'t think I could ever do without it again........but I never got the pleasure of an uncut guy, and the thought is mouth watering.

    If she doesn\'t change are you going to be happy without it?

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    Banned User EXIT63's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girls that are afraid of oral (both ways)..help

    Hey Ivey, do us all a favor. Don\'t disappear on us. We need as many HOT BROADS around here as we can get. Welcome to the forum and... Keep posting! [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]


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    Default Re: Girls that are afraid of oral (both ways)..help

    Glad to be here! I really love this place.

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