Question on Birth Control ladies...

[pelotudo]

I\'ve got a couple of questions for you ladies regarding birth control and girls/women taking them.

1. If a girl is on the pill, how concerned should I be with using a condom when I\'m w/ her? I enjoy the comfort of knowing I\'m strapped, but if she\'s on the pill (and taking them correctly); should I really have anything to worry about?

2. This one\'s regarding what happens if she doesn\'t take it for a day or two... I.E. She is on it regularly, but forgets or doesn\'t take it for a day or two...or doesn\'t take it on time. How long should we wait to have sex before we know it will be effective? I mean, if she\'s been taking it for weeks/months, but doesn\'t take it like today and maybe tomorrow, how bad is this going to screw things up?

Any other general info regarding this would be helpful, or any websites you gals have I can check out would be greatly appreciated.

Love always,
-Jon

[DaVinciKittie]

Hey Jon

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
1. If a girl is on the pill, how concerned should I be with using a condom when I\'m w/ her? I enjoy the comfort of knowing I\'m strapped, but if she\'s on the pill (and taking them correctly); should I really have anything to worry about?

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

Ok, first off I feel the need to say that the only form of birth control that is 100% effective is abstinence. Now obviously that\'s not too much help to you [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img], but you should keep in mind that there is *ALWAYS* a risk, with any other form. As far as the pill, it is not one of my preferred methods- too much room for human error. However, *if* she\'s taking it correctly it has a relatively high rate of effectiveness, so if you\'re using condoms and she\'s on the pill (again, taking it correctly) then you probably don\'t have anything to worry about. I don\'t recommend *not* using condoms with a girl who\'s on the pill, b/c you\'re taking an awful big chance...

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
2. This one\'s regarding what happens if she doesn\'t take it for a day or two... I.E. She is on it regularly, but forgets or doesn\'t take it for a day or two...or doesn\'t take it on time. How long should we wait to have sex before we know it will be effective? I mean, if she\'s been taking it for weeks/months, but doesn\'t take it like today and maybe tomorrow, how bad is this going to screw things up?

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

To take the pill correctly she needs to pretty much be religious about it. I mean, she needs to be taking it at the same exact time everyday without fail. Most women don\'t get that detailed though and don\'t seem to have problems with it. It\'s ok to miss a day every once in a while (sometimes it\'s ok to miss a few days)- she can always double up on the pills for the day she missed. Say she misses Monday, well then Tuesday she can take one in the morning and one in the afternoon and resume her regular schedule on Wednesday. I\'d be extra careful during Monday and Tuesday, but it should be alright, especially if you\'re using a second form as backup.

I had a close call with the pill, so I now use Depo Provera. For some reason I ended up taking the placebo pills for about a week instead of taking the regular ones, and my boyfriend and I were NOT using condoms during that time. I *freaked* when I realized it and ended up going to Planned Parenthood for a \"morning after\" kit. Turned out ok, but that was scary enough to get me looking for more fool-proof methods (this is one of the reasons not to go without a condom with girls on the pill- I did not realize I was taking the placebos). The morning after kit *is* available if you need it, but it is not a pleasant experience, and it\'s best if you can avoid that altogether. I decided on Depo b/c it\'s 99% effective and there\'s really no room for human error. It\'s a shot she gets every 3 months or so that is immediately effective (oh, I forgot to mention that it\'s recommended that women wait at least a month after going on the pill before expecting it to be completely effective), and many women stop having a period while they\'re on it. There\'s some controversy over it b/c of that, but IMHO it\'s a godsend, especially for women who get bad PMS. I feel much more comfortable being with a guy without a condom when I\'m on Depo than the pill. Anyway, get her to check into Depo if you\'re really worried about it (and you\'re certainly right to be)- the cost is comparable to the pill.

Here\'s a link to the Planned Parenthood site (specifically the page that explains the different methods). If I find any other good ones, I\'ll post them here. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] HTH

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/bc/cchoices.html

[pelotudo]

DVK,

Thank you, as always. Right now she\'s on the 21day pack (I\'m pretty sure, as she said she takes it for 3 weeks then stops taking them when her period starts on the 4th week). Does this mean she doesn\'t have any placebo\'s in the pack? She is pretty religious about taking it, and is always making sure I tell her when it\'s 10pm (and doesn\'t wait till after 11 to take it)... I\'m not SURE she\'s taking it though you know. She always reminds herself to take it at that time, but says she\'ll do it when she gets home. I\'m not sure though, so I\'m probably going to strap. Besides, it\'ll help as far as longevity on my part combined w/ the L-Arginine and Yohimbe I\'m taking.

[elvido]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
I don\'t recommend *not* using condoms with a girl who\'s on the pill, b/c you\'re taking an awful big chance

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

Huh? If you going to use condoms, why would she take the pill (regularly)? Either save her the hormonal attack or give you both some added pleasure. Choose.

Btw, don\'t forget STDs.

[DaVinciKittie]

I\'m not familiar with all the different brands of pill, so I don\'t know if \"21 day pack\" is a specific type of pill or whether it just means she only takes the pill for 3 weeks and then doesn\'t during the 4th. I probably should have been a little more specific about the placebos. They are not birth control pills, but they look identical to the others in the pack (except they\'re usually a different color so you can tell the difference). There\'s no need to take them, but some women do so they can keep to their regular schedule for habit sake. Sounds like Jenna doesn\'t take them, which is fine since they\'re essentially sugar pills anyway. I don\'t like the placebos in the packs, b/c if they\'re there then there\'s always a chance that they can be confused with the real pills, and that\'s scary. If she\'s asking for reminders from you then she\'s probably dedicated to taking the pills, but who knows if she might make a mistake and take a placebo accidentally or if she might get lax about it somewhere down the road. It\'s better to always be safe than sorry, and I think that BC should be the responsibility of *both* partners, not just one or the other. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] Ok, I\'ll stop lecturing! [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]

[DaVinciKittie]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
I don\'t recommend *not* using condoms with a girl who\'s on the pill, b/c you\'re taking an awful big chance

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

Huh? If you going to use condoms, why would she take the pill (regularly)? Either save her the hormonal attack or give you both some added pleasure. Choose.

Btw, don\'t forget STDs.

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

Elvido, how many children do you have? Are you *wanting* children? Cuz that\'s a good way to go about it if you\'re getting careless. Condoms are not fail-proof and neither is the pill. Depending completely on one method or the other is extremely foolish and shows a lack of respect for the woman you\'re with. Unless you know for a fact that she\'s using something like Depo or can\'t have children, you should *insist* on using a backup method even if she doesn\'t ask you to. That\'s just common courtesy. If you\'re going to take chances like that then you better make damn sure you\'re prepared to raise a child (or live with the emotional repercussions of choosing abortion), b/c sometimes all it takes is one slip. I know I\'m lecturing, but this kind of attitude is precisely why this country (USA) has such a large teenage pregnancy rate. Have respect for her and have respect for yourself- don\'t take chances on bringing another life into the world if you\'re not ready for it.

[belgareth]

DVK is right on the money. Unless you are emotionally and financially ready to raise a child, don\'t take a chance. You have no idea how many people have screwed up their lives with one small mistake.

[elvido]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
Elvido, how many children do you have? Are you *wanting* children? Cuz that\'s a good way to go about it if you\'re getting careless. Condoms are not fail-proof and neither is the pill. Depending completely on one method or the other is extremely foolish and shows a lack of respect for the woman you\'re with. Unless you know for a fact that she\'s using something like Depo or can\'t have children, you should *insist* on using a backup method even if she doesn\'t ask you to. That\'s just common courtesy. If you\'re going to take chances like that then you better make damn sure you\'re prepared to raise a child (or live with the emotional repercussions of choosing abortion), b/c sometimes all it takes is one slip. I know I\'m lecturing, but this kind of attitude is precisely why this country (USA) has such a large teenage pregnancy rate. Have respect for her and have respect for yourself- don\'t take chances on bringing another life into the world if you\'re not ready for it.

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

Here we go again. One simple comment apparently allows you to extrapolate a pefect understanding and insight into my relationships. So not insisting on her using the pill and condoms is a lack of respect on my part, eh? Do you think my relationships are with blowup dolls, where I command, and they obey? Do you think we as partners aren\'t capable of making decisions on birth control as a couple? Are you at all aware of other health considerations that my partner has to consider when we choose a birth control method? We now the risks, we make our choices and we are prepared to take responsability for anything that happens.
Thanks for the lecturing me on my relationships which you know nothing about though, it\'s fantastic. If you want to make a point, make it, but make it for everyone, objectively, not firing an uninformed attack on me.

[Elana]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
So not insisting on her using the pill and condoms is a lack of respect on my part, eh?

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

Every couple has to decide for themselves what is best for them. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[belgareth]

Elvido:

Lighten up. you asked for an opinion in the woman\'s forum. You got what you asked for based on your question. It wasn\'t so much an attack on you as really good advice. I\'d think you would appreciate her taking the time to respond from her perspective.

[elvido]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
Elvido:

Lighten up. you asked for an opinion in the woman\'s forum. You got what you asked for based on your question. It wasn\'t so much an attack on you as really good advice. I\'d think you would appreciate her taking the time to respond from her perspective.

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

I asked for advice? Where?
And she didn\'t respond from her perspective, she did so from mine.

[belgareth]

You asked a question, she answered it. If she answered it in the first person, so? It was good generic information. If you don\'t like what the ladies have to say, get out of their forum!

Don\'t want to hear an answer? Don\'t ask the question.

[elvido]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
You asked a question, she answered it. If she answered it in the first person, so? It was good generic information. If you don\'t like what the ladies have to say, get out of their forum!

Don\'t want to hear an answer? Don\'t ask the question.

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

I think it\'s pretty clear that it was a rhetorical question, given that I even included my own response.
I\'m not going to \'get out\' just because of a post I didn\'t like. But given that I\'ve been acussed of being disrespectful to my partners, is it ok for me to respond?

Here\'s an analogy of what happened. Say that I take your last response to me, and theorize that your solution for when someone doesn\'t like what they hear is to leave. From this I start saying that you if you live with a girl you\'ll probably tell her to get the hell out if she doesn\'t like what you say, and hence you\'re scared of conflict and have serious communication problems with women.
Would you be cool with that?

[Elana]

Honestly, I could see why Elvido was in defensive mode.
It\'s like telling someone \"you are not doing it right.\" They have no choice but to defend themselves. Let\'s keep this general rather than personal.

[belgareth]

A comic, at that.

The woman\'s forum was created because so many of the men were whining about the women playing around, flirting and bringing up girl stuff in the other forums. So, to end a conflict, this forum was created. Now, instead of leaving them in peace, certain forum members choose to invade their forum. That\'s fine. So long as you respect the fact that it is their forum. When you start the same arrogant crap that they left the other forum over, you are in the wrong. I personally appreciate their input but they are leaving, one after the other due to attitudes like you display. I am not singling you out.

I don\'t honestly care what you conclude. If you knew me, you would realize just how ignorant that statement sounded.

[Elana]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
When you start the same arrogant crap that they left the other forum over, you are in the wrong. I personally appreciate their input but they are leaving, one after the other due to attitudes like you display.

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\"> That is correct, Bel [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]
That\'s not pointing out Elvido either.

[seadove]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
Elvido:Huh? If you going to use condoms, why would she take the pill (regularly)? Either save her the hormonal attack or give you both some added pleasure. Choose.


<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

I agree to your point of view, like chosing one method.But IMHO the condom has long proved it\'s effectiveness both for birth control purposes AND for the prevention of disease.

The condoms of today are of general superior quality, not like the old days where they easily tear apart.They are thinner but yet still very unlikely to tear open.

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[elvido]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />

I don\'t honestly care what you conclude. If you knew me, you would realize just how ignorant that statement sounded.

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

But see that\'s exactly what I\'m saying. It\'s ridiculous that I came to that conclusion, correct? Of course it is, because I don\'t know you, and I\'m certainly not going make a conclusion on your communication with your partners, based on an unrelated post of yours.
Now can you see what I was getting at?

[belgareth]

I\'ve seen right along what you are getting at. My point is that you need to take it out of the women\'s forum. This is their place and you can honor that.

[pelotudo]

Thanks for the replies guys, and the entertainment along with it. I\'ll be strapping when it happens, just to make sure no \"slips\" happen.

[Andy]

Slips don\'t happen, Slips gotta go down on the ground. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]
Btw, is there kinda award for ripping condoms without using your hands ? I don\'t know about you, but I have to adjust the sex every time I need to wear one. If I go too hard or fast this stupid thingy just rips apart eventually.

[belgareth]

I found this on the Web Site for the manufacturer of the Brand Name Ortho-Novum birth control pills. It should answer the original questions.


When you begin to use oral contraceptives , your body will require at least 7 days to adjust before a pregnancy will be prevented. You will need to use an additional birth control method for at least 7 days. Some doctors recommend using an additional method of birth control for the first cycle (or 3 weeks) to ensure full protection. Follow the advice of your doctor or other health care professional.

Missed dose-Follow your doctor\'s orders or the directions on the label if you miss a dose of this medicine. The following information includes only some of the ways to handle missed doses. Your health care professional may want you to stop taking the medicine and use other birth control methods for the rest of the month until you have your menstrual period. Then your health care professional can tell you how to begin taking your medicine again.

For monophasic, biphasic, or triphasic cycles :

If you miss the first tablet of a new cycle-Take the missed tablet as soon as you remember and take the next tablet at the usual time. You may take 2 tablets in one day. Then continue your regular dosing schedule. Also, use another birth control method until you have taken seven days of your tablets after the last missed dose.
If you miss 1 tablet during the cycle-Take the missed tablet as soon as you remember. Take the next tablet at the usual time. You may take 2 tablets in one day. Then continue your regular dosing schedule.
If you miss 2 tablets in a row in the first or second week-Take 2 tablets on the day that you remember and 2 tablets the next day. Then continue taking 1 tablet a day. Also use another birth control method until you begin a new cycle.
If you miss 2 tablets in a row in the third week; or
If you miss 3 or more tablets in a row at any time during the cycle-
Using a Day-1 start: Throw out your current cycle and begin taking a new cycle. Also, use another birth control method until you have taken seven days of your tablets after the last missed dose. You may not have a menstrual period this month. But if you miss two menstrual periods in a row, call your health care professional.
Using a Sunday start: Keep taking one tablet a day from your current pack until Sunday. Then, on Sunday, throw out your old pack and begin a new pack. Also use another birth control method until you have taken seven days of your tablets after the last missed dose. You may not have a menstrual period this month. But if you miss two menstrual periods in a row, call your health care professional.

If you miss any of the last seven (inactive) tablets of a twenty-eight-day cycle, there is no danger of pregnancy. However, the first tablet (active) of the next month\'s cycle must be taken on the regularly scheduled day, in spite of any missed doses, if pregnancy is to be avoided. The active and inactive tablets are colored differently for your convenience.

[EPMomma]

Just another perspective...

I once worked with a woman who had a beautiful baby boy who was conceived while she was on the pill. Took her about 5 months to figure out what was wrong with her because she never even considered the possibility of pregnancy. Her doctor told her that stress plus her natural hormone levels made it possible for the pill to be totally ineffective.

If you do the math, if a method is 99% effective, that means that 1 in 100 couples will have this experience, even with perfect usage. Multiply this out by all the couples having sex while the woman is ovulating... Bad odds all around.

Having said that, I was taking the pill prior to both my pregnancies (not perfect usage, but pretty conscientious), and never had a close call. Plus I got pregnant almost immediately after we started trying. So, I think it was pretty darn effective over 15 years.

[Thanatos]

Anyone have experience with cervical caps? It\'s a non-hormonal contraceptive that I was looking into for an ex a while ago but nothing ever came of it.

[DaVinciKittie]

Thanks for the post, Bel. That jives with what I\'ve been told- I just couldn\'t recall the specifics. Good info for any of you guys out there who are unfamiliar with the pill or curious about it.

[TBiRD]

Damn all this talk got me thinking too.

My girl and I have been using condoms so far. My experiences with condoms were always very positive. I never ever had a condom slip off or rip apart in my whole entire life. Still , I don\'t like them too much - you can easily guess the reason(s).

Anyways , my girl wants to start takin the pill so we can have sex without condoms.I fear , she\'s way to lightheaded about it: She thinks its like 100% safe and that it wouldn\'t be a problem to take them (without forgetting).

To make sure , I did alot of research lately , and finally stumbled over this post (great coincidence!) : MY opinion right now is :
Screw the pill ! I don\'t trust it anylonger + eventhough I trust my girl , still I don\'t believe , that she would ALWAYS remember to take them (she only human you know)
-stress / illness / bogus hormone levels...+ a bunch of unwanted side effects for her is not something I can safely live with.

So I\'m very interested in alternative options and their possible side effects.

-This depo stuff sounds interesting , + I heard of another 100% method = implants ( something like a little stick in her arm - totally unnoticable) wich lasts up to 3 years !!! That\'s costeffective...she could still take it out anytime , and become pregnant 2 days later if she wanted to....maybe some of u got more info on that...pro contra.

[seadove]

Just use condoms and stop fussing around.It is effective both as a contraceptive and prevents disease.

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[TBiRD]

\"Just use condoms and stop fussing around.It is effective both as a contraceptive and prevents disease.\"

Besides, its also a loss of feeling for me/for her , and there always the stupid moment where u are making out , and then have to stop to \"put the bastard on\".
Last but not least , only without a condom u get the \"completely melting together\" feeling.

So pls , only serious comments...

[Andy]

@Dove

It\'s not fussing around in many cases, many man face real problems with Condoms. From discomfort/ripping rubber up to insufficient errections, plus it\'s just not the real thing. And the damn rubbers might be really expensive in case you aren\'t able to wear standard sized ones, I don\'t like the thought of payin\' $100/Month for something I don\'t even like. Condoms have been always kinda temporary solution for me, nothing permanent. I just use them to prevent STDs, nothing more. I\'d never even think about using a condom in a LTR, that\'s just inacceptable, I\'d rather let myself sterilize.

[seadove]

Beautifully written Andy. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

Just tell me what\'s an STD and what\'s an LTR? [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

Just so you knew, some years ago my ex-wife got pregnant WITH the pills, so it\'s not 100% foolproof.