Ok, after todays chapter in this Trilogy of my love life, I am seriously questioning my test levels and libido. Most of you have already seen the situation unfolding, but check out AWESOME Night and Pt. II for fillers.

So anyways, after the other night I\'m feeling pretty good about things. I\'m happy, not really worrying about what is going on, and going with the flow. I feel relaxed all the time when I\'m talking to her, and going along with it.

So saw her for a few mins last night while she was on her way to work (couldn\'t get off to go out with us). Stopped by while she was at Amy\'s house and chilled with them till she had to leave. Set it up for today. Today, get up around 11, chill at my house for a little bit...then around 2 get ready to go. Kill the customary kitten before heading out (its been like 3 days :P), and I realize later this was a mistake I think... I go in to her work around 3 to grab a sub/OJ and head to my friends house. Set up for her coming with me tonight after she gets off work at 4. I head to my friends house, and she calls me about 4:20. She went over to Amy\'s house, and nobody\'s there (Amy, Tim, and Amys\' rents all went yachting today, and wont be back till late), so she invites me over. I head in -moneless today, nothing on but some Armani Mania and a spray or two of AXE Tsuanmi on my shirt. Get over there, and we head up to the mall after she gets ready. Have a pretty good time there I guess, we were joking around and laughing the whole time, and I grabbed my dad a nice Tommy wallet for Fathers Day tomorrow.

We leave there, and go back to the house. It\'s like 6:30, and they still wont be back for a while so I know Jenna and I are going to be alone for a while. We get back, and watch TV for a few mins then move to the bedroom. We call them and they\'re not going to be back till like 9 at the earliest, so we have like 2 1/2 hours by ourselves. Could this be any more perfect? NO, IT COULDN\'T.

So anyways, we go in Amys\' bedroom and plop down for a little bit, and talk about EVERYTHING... From how many partners to cool places to have sex, to what we see in each other, how long we usually wait before having sex in a relationship (her 2 times, both like 1-1 1/2 months before sex), etc. etc...this is where I become a retard.

The entire time on the bed we\'re on each other, I\'m trying to figure out what I should do. She was giving me all the signs in the world, and IDK what the h*ll I was thinking. She was talking about the 2nd night we were together, and how we moved really fast and she was like woah that was quick..and that once she gets to a point w/ a guy where she\'s comfortable (I.E. hinting toward the second night how she was comfortable with me now) that sex and being intimate is a big part for her. The whole time I was like I want to go to sleep, even though I wasn\'t really even tired...

We even got to one point where she was on top of me strattling, grinding her hips in to me and leaning over making out...and I was like ummmm, yeah. It was like I didn\'t know what the hell to do or something, I was like anxious/retarded/scared or something. We kept swapping positions and I ended up on top of her w/ her legs wrapped around my back. I started kissing her neck and going against her, then it was like I just stopped. I don\'t know why the hell, b/c I knew if I had grabbed her zipper and tugged on her pants, she would have taken them off right there...but it was like I was lost, I felt like..ok, so what now.

IDK what the HELL is wrong with me, but I\'m seriously questioning my libido or something here. I don\'t know if it was a mistake killing that kitten this morning, or that I didn\'t take any of my vitamins (multivitamin, l-arginine, yohimbe), or lack of pheros to push me, but I felt lost.

ARGH, OMFG I feel like an idiot. I know I can talk to her tomorrow and be like...sorry about last night I just had a bunch of crap on my mind and was really tired and stuff, that\'s why I was being like I was...and it\'ll explain it to her, but I don\'t know how to explain it to myself. I mean, I\'ve got one of the hottest chicks I\'ve ever been with...next to me in bed, alone, for 2 hours, and I don\'t make a move? Am I fu*king ghey or what!? IDK whether I need her to be more aggressive or what, or what I need to do, but can u guys give me any help w/ this? Anything else I could take to boost test/libido levels b4 heading over there. I mean, I know I want it, but it was like I had no initiative... or like I was lost and didn\'t know what to do; and I\'m afraid that if I don\'t keep up the cool/confident/sexually secure guy I\'m going to lose her quick b/c she\'s going to want more, especially after we moved so quick that 2nd night and since then haven\'t done hardly anything...

Cliffs: Met up w/ same girl. Go out for a while, then back to friends house where it\'s just me and her alone in a bed for 2 hours. Instead of doing what I\'m supposed to do, we talk for like 2 hours and I do NOTHING. Seriously questioning my libido and test levels right now and need counceling to get this sh*t right before I disappoint...

-Jon