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Thread: The Consultant

  1. #1
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    Default The Consultant

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    A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a
    > brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a
    >young man in an Armani suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie,
    >leans out the window and asks the shepherd, \"If I tell you exactly how many
    >sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?\"
    > The shepherd looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his
    >peacefully grazing flock and calmly answers, \"Sure. Why not?\" The yuppie
    >parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his AT&T
    >cell phone, surfs to a NASA page on the internet, where he calls up a GPS
    >satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he
    >then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an
    >ultra-high-resolution photo.
    >
    > The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports
    > it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he
    >receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and
    >the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC
    >connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formulas. He uploads
    >all of this data via an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes,
    >receives a response.
    >
    > Finally, he prints out a full-c olor, 150-page report on his hi-tech,
    >miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the shepherd and says,
    >\"You have exactly 1586 sheep.\"
    >
    > \"That\'s right. Well, I guess you can take one of my sheep.\" says the
    >shepherd.
    >
    > He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as
    > the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
    >
    > Then the shepherd says to the young man, \"Hey, if I can tell you exactly
    > what your business is, will you give me back my sheep?\"
    >
    > The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, \"Okay, why not?\"
    >
    > \"You\'re a consultant.\" says the shepherd.
    >
    > \"Wow! That\'s correct,\" says the yuppie, \"but how did you guess that?\"
    >
    > \"No guessing required.\" answered the shepherd. \"You showed up here even
    > though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already
    >knew, to a question I never asked; and you don\'t know [bad word] about my
    >business...
    >
    > \" ... Now give me back my dog.\"

  2. #2
    Phero Dude
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    Default Re: The Consultant

    OH, that\'s priceless! ROFL Good post Bel! [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

  3. #3
    **DONOTDELETE**
    Guest

    Default Re: The Consultant

    Oh, dayum. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

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