Social Proof, but the other way around

[elvido]

We\'re having so much fun with the social proof discussion, I thought we could start a clean one, but the other way around. Is seeing a woman with another man a turn on or a turn off? How about here smelling like sex?
I for one always seem to hunt out women with boyfriends. My last 5 girlfriends had boyfriends when I meet them. And I\'m after 3 right now that also have boyfriends. I\'m the home wrecker supreme. Hey, it\'s not on purpose, I find out after they\'ve trapped my in their tractor beam. Plus, good looking gals almost always have a boyfriend. Someone once described their pattern as a swinging monkey: they don\'t let go of one guy until they have another lined up (guys would be branches in this analogy).
Oh, and yes, it sucks for other people to stick their noses in your relationship. My latest one was broken by an ex of my girlfriend appearing on scene, so I know the feeling. But hey, each one chooses their own path.
So girls with guys or no guys? Does it matter?

[Charisma]

What happens to the boyfriends can happen to you. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]

I go for the \'with no guys\' girls, they remain very faithfull.

[bundyburger]

I tend to get along with a good looking girl better when I know she has a boyfriend. I\'m much more relaxed. She gets to see the real me more then she would if she was single.

But think of it this way. The girls you are more attracted to physicaly at first sight are a lot more stunning. The more stunning girls DO have boyfriends almost 90% of the time. Why not? They have more guys beating down their doors.

SO is it because of them having boyfriends that attracts you more or is it because you are attracted more to the girl through the same assetts that attracts more guys to her, giving her a higher chance of having the boyfriend in the first place?

I have had some of the best times with other guys girlfriends. (I don\'t mean sex or cheating the BF) It sux when you all of a sudden find yourself wanting that girl.

In the past I have found myself interested in a girl as soon as she gains a BF. I see how fun she is with the guy and am attracted to the personailty that shows up when she is in a happy/playful mood.

So to answer your question like you asked? (lol) Yes it can matter. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif[/img]

[biteme]

I\'m the same way, bundyburger. I feel much more relaxed and comfortable w/women who are already involved. I also feel the same way around gay women.

As to whether I\'m more often attracted to women w/a SO or to women w/o a SO, I\'d have to say I\'m pretty neutral about it.

[elvido]

I just realized I should\'ve posted this in the Open Discussion forum. My bad.

[franki]

Actually this is about the \"science of attraction\". The judge is out on this...

IMHO it belongs in this forum. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

[Andy]

I am with Charisma on this one. Girls that hop from their bfs to you might hop from you to another guy as well. You might fvck them and run like hell before starting to care, or you might just ignore them. That\'s what I suggest because it\'s just not worth the effort.

[CptKipling]

Charisma put it very well.

Something similar is \"Boyfriend-itus\" (do a search, posted by someone else ages ago). They keep a boyfriend for fear of not having one, but then when something better comes along they grab it. These people have no loyalty, no honour, and no respect, which is a majour turn off for me, esp. if I\'m considering her as gf material. It may be fun for sex only, but still it isn\'t much of a catch if it\'s been caught and put back by many other guys.

To me it doesn\'t make any difference to her attractiveness. As bb said it can be easier to become friends with a mates gf.

Elvido, are you saying you are more attracted after you find out they have a bf? If so, you need to concentrate on what you want, and find what you value in a woman.

[Charisma]

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Actually this is about the \"science of attraction\". The judge is out on this...

IMHO it belongs in this forum. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

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Attractive girls who don\'t have a boy friend seem to be more independant and self-confident, they know the\'ll end up with a guy anyhow.

And to make it even more sure this topic belongs in this forum: for these kind of women pheromones are quite helpful! [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[Andy]

Beware, what looks like a whore might be a whore in the end [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

[elvido]

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Elvido, are you saying you are more attracted after you find out they have a bf? If so, you need to concentrate on what you want, and find what you value in a woman.

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No Cpt, the level of attraction was the same. I\'d certainly prefer them not to have had boyfriends because I don\'t like breaking things up. However, in all cases, I\'ve been informed of their interest to go out with me, when they\'ve already decided to break up with their guy, so I never voice any request for a cesation.

[CptKipling]

Well then in your case it\'s not social proof. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Maybe it\'s just that some girls feel more comfortable around other guys if they have a bf, which explains why you get close to them faster.

You should probably spend time pursuing your desires, instead of waiting for women to come to you.

Making the effort to get what you want will always be better in the long run, as opposed to leaving it up to chance in letting women approach you.

[Whitehall]

The fact that a woman of my desire has a boyfriend or husband is a major impediment. I don\'t apply myself in such cases unless I\'m getting clear come-on signals.

What I do find attractive is a woman with a child. Science would explain that attraction as that I\'m sure that such a woman is fertile. With young women it probably is not a factor but for older ones then having a child enhances her sexual aura to me.

[elvido]

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Well then in your case it\'s not social proof. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Maybe it\'s just that some girls feel more comfortable around other guys if they have a bf, which explains why you get close to them faster.

You should probably spend time pursuing your desires, instead of waiting for women to come to you.

Making the effort to get what you want will always be better in the long run, as opposed to leaving it up to chance in letting women approach you.

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">


1. Uh, where are you going? I mentioned the simple coincidental pattern of pursuing women, who --unbenkownst to me-- had BFs, and you infer that I leave things up to chance and that I should concentrate on what I want. Huh? I wanted those girls, I went after them, I got \'em. Naturally there was a decision they needed to make, and that was to break up with their bfs and be with me. Great. Moving on.

2. It could still be social proof if you look at it from a unconscious and pheromonal level. Couplins don\'t put a sign on you saying, I recently had sex, but they could unconsciously transmit this.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Cop u lins

Not couplins

Sorry, go on, what were you saying?

[Watcher]

You know this sounds odd, but its a real ability (probably from 5 years of pheromone and couplin synthetic exposure) but i can pick the ones by scent alone that are or would be interested in me. They have a certain smell that attracts me, but a few short relationships(sex buddies only) get attracted to me also.
You are right i try to avoid the ones with bf\'s it is interesting to be around all pheroed up and watch the fireworks, but i chase those that are single as you are right they have the potential to be stronger willed and more faithful should something develop.
The ones with boyfriend-itis usually have a case of lust syndrome and suffer also from attention whore itis.

[CptKipling]

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Well then in your case it\'s not social proof. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Maybe it\'s just that some girls feel more comfortable around other guys if they have a bf, which explains why you get close to them faster.

You should probably spend time pursuing your desires, instead of waiting for women to come to you.

Making the effort to get what you want will always be better in the long run, as opposed to leaving it up to chance in letting women approach you.

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">


1. Uh, where are you going? I mentioned the simple coincidental pattern of pursuing women, who --unbenkownst to me-- had BFs, and you infer that I leave things up to chance and that I should concentrate on what I want. Huh? I wanted those girls, I went after them, I got \'em. Naturally there was a decision they needed to make, and that was to break up with their bfs and be with me. Great. Moving on.

2. It could still be social proof if you look at it from a unconscious and pheromonal level. Couplins don\'t put a sign on you saying, I recently had sex, but they could unconsciously transmit this.

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Sorry, made a mental leap, my bad. I wasnt clear on the point that you approached and pursued.

But still, probably not social proof. It is unlikely that a gf would be marked by her bf\'s scent. Remember that all women produce cops, not just the ones who have just had sex. It\'s like saying not all men get erections, its part of a woman\'s arousal responce.

So in summary, probably just a coincidence.

[Watcher]

Well also they get marked by nearly everyone they come across (strangers etc) Id tend to err on the side of a coincidence.
Trustworthyness vs competitiveness seems to be a factor.