DIHL (or not)

[Lutz]

Does anyone here have an experience in which someone had a DIHL, but that person was not looking at you? I mean, last night, I was talking to this girl (wearing my mumbo-jumbo mix [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]) and suddenly she was looking dazed for several seconds and I looked in her direction but there was no one/nothing.

Is there another plausible explanation besides that she is not interested in me? [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[Whiffy]

Couple of questions: How long were you talking to her before she spaced out? What did you say to bring her back around?

Once they\'ve gone DIHL, it\'s up to you to associate yourself with whatever she\'s feeling/sensing. This is where a cocky, but confident comment would work well. She\'s gotta know that you\'re the one having this effect on her.

Girls don\'t want to wait around and see if you\'re worth building a relationship with. They\'re always opting for that special spark, the instant connection. Her DIHL is your window.

You let it close, it seems.

[Watcher]

They get obsessed and addicted to that special buzz.

[Tantalus747]

Sounds like she was just staring off into space. Other than this, did she seem interested in what you were saying?

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Yeah, that was not DIHL. That was her being preoccupied with her own private thoughts for a minute, probably not about you.

Do you remember exactly what you were saying when she stopped making eye contact?

[Lutz]

Sorry, I don\'t really remember what I was saying at the time. But that (her wandering off into space) has happened in other times, too.

Anyway, I have been showing interest in her for some time now, but she had been giving me conflicting signals, so today I kind of demanded her to tell me either way - whether she\'s interested in me or not. So she finally said something about the academic year ending in about a month (we get out in mid-May) and that she would be going away to France next year we wouldn\'t be able to spend much time together anyway.

Guess I was too naive. Oh well. There\'s my first rejection. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] I only wish she would have told me sooner...

[Alquimista]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
Guess I was too naive. Oh well. There\'s my first rejection. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] I only wish she would have told me sooner...

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Lutz,

My friends when girls either like us or not, does not matter if we are wearing pheromones or not, she will never tell you verbally that. My friends, both males and females, are always surprised how I always know what they are thinking about, and because of that I get less rejected when I go to the \"great war\". My secret is simple: body language! [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]. Human Being, speacially women always tell you everything by body language. You just have to practice... [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

[Lutz]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
My friends when girls either like us or not, does not matter if we are wearing pheromones or not, she will never tell you verbally that. My friends, both males and females, are always surprised how I always know what they are thinking about, and because of that I get less rejected when I go to the \"great war\". My secret is simple: body language! [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]. Human Being, speacially women always tell you everything by body language. You just have to practice... [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

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Well, actually, here\'s the thing. I didn\'t really mean to use the word \"tell.\" I have been checking out her body language/nonverbal signals. Some I noticed are:

- She always sits next to me in class (but there are plenty of seats - 40-50 seats for 12 people); twice, she took a trouble of switching a left-handed desk with a right-handed one just to sit next to me (she\'s right-handed, BTW).
- She gives me a hug whenever she sees me, but I noticed that she rarely gives hugs to her other guy friends.

(Hmm, can\'t remember much more. Maybe that was all. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img])

True, this isn\'t much/significant, but anyway with these kinds of nonverbal signals, I thought she might be interested in me. Perhaps she genuinely might have been. But I have no way of knowing. (I would love to find out, though...)

[SwingerMD]

Lutz,

Alquimista is right. Women usually never verbally tell you that. In fact from the looks of it, she does but is confused about her feelings. She may or not come around, but I\'d ease up on the verbal confrontation for now. You say that she hugs you, hug her back. In fact initiate some hugging yourself. A little one-up-manship is in order, but don\'t raise the bar to high or you\'ll probably freak her out again. Stay cool, confident, but also try to keep some tension. In fact keep in mind that you two are not quite \"together\" yet so there are other women out there. Just be sure to be genuine. Don\'t flirt with the intention of making her jealous . . . usually backfires.

[Lutz]

Thanks for the advice, SwingerMD. I am not mad at her or anything. In fact, after she told me that she didn\'t want to be in a relationship, I told her, \"Well then, let\'s just be friends.\" (The dreaded LJBF land! [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]) You shouldn\'t be bitter about this sort of thing, right?

But rejection still stings. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[CptKipling]

Hey welcome back Swinger!

[SwingerMD]

Lutz,

No problemo. As for being bitter, of course you shouldn\'t. And yes it still stings, but its a very effective way of learning. Move on to other people (not just one person but several people). Also keep on being \"friends\" with this person and let her make the next move. Just be mindful of her body language, keep things light (in fact pratice flirting with her), and try not to put her \"on the spot\" again.

Thanks CptKipling. Although I have been lurking around, just not posting since I\'ve been pretty busy as of late and have cut down on my phero usage and experimentation. I do have a dance compettion coming up. I\'m thinking about adding WAGG to both KR#1 and SMD#1 mixes at dances in the next few weeks to see what I should wear for the competition. I\'ll be sure to post when it comes up.