What's Best for On Going Advventures...

[Cloud9]

What\'s that...it\'s of my opinion that most people don\'t want to die alone, or that they want to have companions that don\'t fade.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Most people fear dying alone and many people think that marriage is a way to prevent it, so they should find someone.


I\'m just saying find yourself - other people are no guarantee against loneliness, dying alone, or any other calamity.

I suppose everyone wishes for companions that don\'t fade, but you can have that without getting married.


Single is also a good choice.

[Cloud9]

I agree with you, but you can\'t just say that \"this\" is going to happen. You should have a positive attitude even if you are surrounded by some of the very negative things that can come with old age. Basically what I am saying is living a life in a down sort of way is a bad way to go about things regardless of how much pain there is. If I had said the same thing to myself and stuck with that idea of pain a while back, then I would have never met the girl I\'m going to marry. I did feel similar to you at one time. I certainly honor your opinion though, variety makes life interesting.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I\'m not down at all or being negative. Having been married and been single, I just prefer single. Marriage does not automatically make your life happy and guarantee you company in your old age.

I have loving relationships and close friends.

I just want to offer the perspective that marriage and \"finding someone\" is not necessarily a ticket to happiness. Marriage is difficult for most people and often as big a source of stress or bigger than being single.

I\'m glad, though, for you, that you\'ve found your someone.

[Cloud9]

If you truly feel that way, then I have much respect for you. I really love people that think for themselves and are independant.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

It\'s nice to meet you, too, Cloud9.

[franki]

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And of course the guys are going to be on the side of \"work it out\"; that\'s to be expected.



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That is bull, I would have advised her to take another lover instantly, but I know that is not very helpful in this situation, so I did hold back with that. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

Franki [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[Icemone]

Haven\'t been on the site for a while.

(Since you asked, I\'m in NY big city----lots of people,
some more stable than others )

First of all, the reason I am asking for advice is that I want to avoid this pattern and
I will be choosing more wisely and screening even better.

I\'m willing to take the responsibility for this and in some ways I feel it would be easier to
improve myself than
to just screen out the ones I think will be un-stable.

I have a very wicked sense of humor, which some don\'t get in person and even less on-line,and
I realize the NET sucks a means of communication---there are a LOT of misunderstandings and some
comments that have been \"less than kind\" ( read:insulting )

As far as the \"one date\" thing.
I don\'t believe in \"dating\" instead I want to
meet with them and
get to know the REAL Woman and not some act.

I usually don\'t sleep with women unless they seem to have more going for them than just their looks.

Also, I don\'t like games and bullshit and some
just don\'t get my sense of humor or appreciate me.

( So I have been screening, although with some
I still just go for the Adventure----ironically this weekend was pretty outrageous and yet because I didn\'t think things
would be more than that it might actually be more
ongoing )

I am Intense and I tend to challenge them more than they are used to.
Sure this is pissing some of them off, yet
the ones who are together can show me or at least tell me what other qualities they have and then challenge me with the same. That\'s fair. Mutual Respect.

Even if they are angry they can show anger, passion, etc, and we can work through that.

It\'s the ones who just kind of nod, and don\'t have much to say who are the ones who \"run scared\" and don\'t
return calls, etc.

You wrote that you also have had some 2-3 months
affairs. Some of mine have been longer, most have
been shorter.

What if you wanted to KEEP things going for longer and yet NOT be exclusive or married.

( I realize I need to Pace things better )

I also agree with the
Sex Vs. Masturbation posts and if anything, these women tend to only expect the Masturbation,
draded \"wham bam thank you mam\" and semi-abuse and when they experience something much more intense they don\'t know how to feel.

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Where are you from that almost every girl you\'ve been together with had at least semi-abusive relationships before they met you ?

Personally I think women are better in seperating sex and love than most men are, still most won\'t admit it to someone they might get intimate with. I don\'t know how things are where you are from but I never experienced such behavior in Europe. I had two relationships in the states, but my experiences are limited since they were both of the longer affair kind (2 months, 3 months).

I must admit that women that have been abused in the past are hard to deal with. I had relationships of this kind before and some are really missing it somehow, one even expected me to slap her in the face, at least from time to time (not while beeing into kinky games and alike), and I can imagine that some are just turning their back on you when this part is missing. But again in this case, no pheromone in the whole world will help you. The question is, why are you willing to keep such a badly messed up person ?

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