Retaliation for All Those Blonde Jokes!

[Briela]

Q. What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?
A. Shoot him again.

Q. How can you tell when a man is well hung?
A. When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.

Q. Why do little boys whine?
A. Because they\'re practicing to be men.

Q. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. One--he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him. Or 3--One to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.

Q. What do you call a handcuffed man?
A. Trustworthy.

Q. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A. You didn\'t hold the pillow down long enough.

Q. Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?
A. Because not one will stop and ask directions.

Q. Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A. To stop the snoring before it starts.

Q: Why do men whistle when they\'re sitting on the toilet?
A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

Q: What is the difference between men and women...
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

Q: How does a man keep his youth?
A: By giving her money, furs, and diamonds.

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e- mail?
A: Rename the mail folder to \"instruction manuals\"

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Go, girl!

[xxxPantero]

Q: What is the difference between men and women...
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

So true.

[Gerund]

You got some issues, Briela? [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

[seadove]

Briela, this reminds me of a blonde joke I heard the other day.I\'ll say this from memory, I\'m not cutting and pasting so I hope it comes out well :


An American, A Russian and a Blonde were sitting in a bar chatting.The Russian said \"We were the first people orbiting the earth in outer space.\" The American said \"That\'s nothing, we Americans were the first to land on the moon.\"
The Blonde then said \"We Blondes have a plan to land on the sun!\"
The American and the Russian both told her \"You can\'t do that, the moment you reach the sun\'s atmosphere you\'ll burn.\"

The Blonde replied \"Do you think we Blondes are stupid?We\'ll travel by night!\"

[img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif[/img][img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif[/img][img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif[/img][img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif[/img][img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif[/img][img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif[/img]

[upsidedown]

Interesting thing....most of the blonde jokes I\'ve heard have been told to me by women.

[seadove]

Did you hear mine before?

[upsidedown]

Never heard that one before Seadove.

[Briela]

Nah, I love blonde jokes! [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

How about these:

Q: What do you call ten blondes at the bottom of a pool?
A: An air bubble.

Q: How do you know when a blonde has been at the computer?
A: There\'s white out all over the screen.

Q: Why did the blond have a sore belly button?
A: Her boyfriend was also blonde.

Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: You don\'t. They\'re born that way.

Q: Why do blondes hate M&Ms?
A: They\'re too hard to peel.

Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.

[Gerund]

Q: Why did the blond have a sore belly button?
A: Her boyfriend was also blonde.

Woo-hoo, that made me laugh. I got this hilarious image in my mind when I read that one... [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]