Lies girls have told me

[phersurf]

Found this somwhere on the Internet. It\'s funny because it\'s true!

Lies Girls Have Told Me:

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\"I didn\'t do anything over the weekend..\"
Lie. This translates into \"I got drunk and had lots of sex that I regret having now that I\'m sober, but I\'d rather not sound like a slut, so I\'ll give you the false impression that I live a modest life sitting at home and reading over my weekends, so you\'ll have to find out what I really did from people talking behind my back.\" This is probably closer to the truth than most people think. And don\'t mail me some politically correct rant saying \"well not every girl is like that blah blah blah...\" I know that not every girl is like that. Nobody cares.

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\"I\'ve only kissed one guy...\"
Lie. No girl has only kissed one guy. Any girl that says she has kissed only one guy is either too young to have kissed more, or a damned liar.

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\"I think you\'re cute!\"
Lie. No girl thinks I\'m cute. I\'m repulsive. I\'m hideous.

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\"Looks don\'t matter to me..\"
Lie. Looks don\'t matter, MY ASS. Looks matter. Any girl that says \"looks don\'t matter\" is in denial. Proof? The good looking jerks that treat women like **** always get the women.

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\"I want to find a guy that\'s sensitive..\"
Lie. This one\'s a whopper. Girls don\'t want sensitive guys, nay, when it comes down to it all they really want is sex. Most of them are no better than the assholes they sleep with. Sure.. they want sensitivity.. ass slapping, hair pulling sensitivity. What girl in their right mind would willingly sleep with a total jerk? Are all these girls being raped? Or are they really just horny? They want sensitivity.. or at least, that\'s what they\'ll have you believing, with their warm smiles and good looks. Just once, I\'d like to meet a good looking girl that\'s not in denial, and that won\'t put on an integrity show, and that will just come out and admit that she\'s been pounded more times than any nail in the floor she stands on, like the whore that she is. At least then I\'d respect her for being honest. It\'s so transparent to me what\'s going on. They fritter their lives away having sex every day of the week, and then go to church on Sunday and think they\'re clean again. They\'re only fooling themselves. It\'s probably the only way they can live with their conscience (or lack thereof).

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\"I just broke up with my boyfriend, so I\'m not going to date for a while\"
Lie. I hear this one a lot. They say it to sound like they\'re not whores going from one guy immediately to the next, but come the first good looking jerk with slick hair and a nice car, and she\'ll be in bed with him faster than she can contract his STDs.

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\"I like to have fun..\"
Lie. Some girls I\'ve talked to have been so shallow, that when asked what they like to do, she\'ll simply say \"I like to have fun..\" No ****? I thought you liked being bored like the rest of us. What the hell kind of answer is \"I like to have fun..\" Who doesn\'t like to have fun? Upon further probing for what they like to do, they\'ll say \"well.. uhhh.. I like to swim, and go hiking, and uhh.. I like to just hang out with friends.. uhhh.. I like to see movies.. uhhh...\" Okay, she likes to see movies. Potential for a conversation. So, I\'ll ask them what movies they like, and with out fail, they always say \"oh.. uhh... I like all movies..\" No, dip****, you don\'t like all movies. Nobody does. What movies do you like? \"uhh.. I like romantic movies mostly..\" (I don\'t really say dip****.. I\'m usually very mannered around women.. not that it matters, since they only want a rich guy to screw). My fault on that one, I should have known. Upon further interrogating (at least it seems like interrogation, since they have nothing to say about anything that matters outside of their microcosm of existence), they tell me that they like music, \"all kinds\" of music, of course. This is all torture to me. Why the hell should I waste my time with someone so damn boring?

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\"I like guys with a sense of humor..\"
Lie. I consider myself to have a sense of humor. Anyone that comes to this site and leaves without being offended has to have a sense of humor (or a really low attention span). Most of the girls that say this usually mean to say \"I\'m a giddy little girl that laughs at everything regardless of how everything I laugh at is painfully not funny.\" The elusive \"guys with a sense of humor\" they talk about are jerks that treat them like **** so often, that they have no choice but to think that it\'s funny so they can live with themselves for dating them. Pathetic.


MORE Lies Girls Have Told Me:


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\"I don\'t go out on many dates...\"
Lie. This one immediately sets off my bull**** detector. Why the hell do girls say this all the time? What do they want, my sympathy? I recently had the misfortune of talking to a girl that claimed she rarely went on dates.. yet every night of the week she goes dancing and hangs out with dip****s at the club. Hmm... going out, hanging around with guys.. sounds like the equivalent of a date to me, jackass.

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\"These new pants are giving me a rash between my legs...\"
Lie. No, your inability to keep your legs closed for five minutes is giving you a rash between your legs. There\'s a girl I talked to that told me this; she said that she couldn\'t go dancing because she had a rash between her legs:

GROSS!

It just so happens that she\'s a super-bitch too. I\'ll just call her Crotch-Rash for short (to conceal her identity--not that it matters, anyone can follow the trail of nasty-nast she leaves behind to find out who she is). Maybe if Crotch-Rash didn\'t jump on everything that moved, she wouldn\'t be in the situation that she\'s in. Silly Crotch-Rash, pull your head out of your ass.
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\"I think you\'re really cool, let\'s hang out some time...\"
Lie. This one translates to \"I have no intention of calling you or hanging out with you, but I\'m too much of a coward to tell you the truth, so I\'ll lead you on for a couple of weeks while you put your life on hold for me in case I actually stop being the indecisive bitch that I am and I give you a straight answer.\" Like I don\'t have anything better to do than to sit around and wait for your dumbass to call me. I\'m so sick of inconsiderate hags that act like they\'re doing me a favor by gracing me with their BORING-ASS conversations on the phone. Tell you what super-bitch, just forget it.

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\"I like everything when it comes to music...\"
Lie. Oh, you like everything? Great! Since you like all music, we\'ll listen to what I want the whole time. Dip****. I hate even talking about music with girls because more often than not, if it\'s not something off of the latest top 10 on the radio or some new-age hippy bull****, chances are that she\'s never heard of it. Hey, I have an idea! Why don\'t you derive your own taste in music and stop listening to the trendy **** on radio stations for a change. Just for the record, anyone that listens to NSYNC has problems, seriously. Who the hell in their right mind would listen to NSYNC? If you see NSYNC in your friend\'s CD collection, that should be a warning flag that says \"STAY AWAY.\" Crotch-Rash listened to NSYNC and look at what a bitch she turned out to be.

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\"All I want is a nice guy that will make me feel special, that will listen to me and love me forever...\"
Lie. She left off the part about \"and a guy that will have plenty of raunchy sex with me because that\'s all most girls are really looking for, but we\'re too shallow to admit that to you because we want to keep this \'virgin-girl\' image we have going on and we don\'t want to sound too slutty, so we\'re going to pretend that all the nice guys we\'ve met so far haven\'t fit the bill when in reality, they\'ve treated us infinitely better than any guy we could ever hope to meet at a club downtown.\" I\'ve said this before and I\'ll say it again:

GIRLS DON\'T WANT NICE GUYS. END OF STORY.

I know there are SOME out there that do.. the ratio of honest girls that want nice guys to sleazy girls that are in it for money and sex is very small, if not non-existant. However, I won\'t consider this possibility at this time.

Almost every guy that goes to a club goes there for one reason: ass. More often than not, they get it. Way to go champ, you got laid, now wipe off the disease and try your luck again. That\'s all they want and girls aren\'t so stupid as to not realize this, but they want to make it sound like they\'re perpetual victims that can\'t find the elusive \"nice guy.\" Why don\'t you actually TRY LOOKING for one, you moron? That\'s like a guy trying to find a \"nice girl\" by cruising the streets downtown. You tread the grounds of prostitutes, so don\'t complain that all you have to show for it is a yield of whores. I\'m so sick and tired of girls giving the false impression that they want a nice guy; this is only true for women in their 30\'s that have already spent a decade getting their brains screwed out and now they\'re finally pulling their heads out of their ass and they\'re looking for a decent guy to settle down with. It\'s not going to happen moron, you blew your chance. I see girls fall for bad guys every day. I see girls abused, cheated on and insulted in public ALL THE TIME. What the hell is wrong with them? They think that there\'s something wild and untamable about bad guys that\'s attractive? WAKE UP. WAKE UP. You\'re getting abused, hurt, murdered and taken advantage of. Holy ****, how can people be so stupid? Is there no end to the barrel of stupid they drink from?

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\"I\'m not really seeing anyone...\"
Lie. \"...except for Jack, but he\'s just a friend.. and then there\'s Charlie, but it\'s nothing more than sex. I\'m kind of seeing Rupert on the side, but he has two kids and I don\'t know if I want to be tied down by kids right now.. then there\'s Eddie, but he\'s a mechanic.. oh he\'s so hot, but I can\'t settle down with someone like him because he has no future and I need commitment .. John .. Jacob .. Mark .. blah blah blah blah blah\" SOMEBODY TURN HER OFF. You want to find a guy, yet all you do is talk about other guys. Great move dip****. No wonder you can\'t find anyone. Here\'s a hint: quit sleeping around. Maybe someone will eventually respect you enough to treat you more than just a sex object.

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\"I\'ve never had sex before...\"
Lie. Unless you ignore all those times I\'ve been felt up on dates, performed and received oral, fooled around with other girls, etc etc etc. Why do girls lie about this? It doesn\'t have to be coitus for it to be sex. Sex is sex. Quit trying to give people the false impression that you\'re innocent and pure. Just tell the truth. If you\'re embarrassed about it and regret doing it, then you probably shouldn\'t have done it in the first place. At the very least, you could respect yourself by telling the truth.

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\"Sorry I didn\'t call, my uncle was sick and there wasn\'t a phone in the hospital and I thought that maybe your pager battery died so I didn\'t bother paging you to tell you to not wait for me all day...\"
Lie. Translation: I went drinking with my girlfriend and my mom. Oh, you didn\'t know I had a girlfriend? Oh yeah, well I\'m bi and we\'ve been seeing each other on and off (in more ways than one) for over two and a half years. I guess I forgot to mention that part. True story.

[Phatical]

Damn!

(That was the only word that came to mind)

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Phersurf, what\'s a \"mumber\"?

[HB_88]

Tally Ho!
Attention all village residents: due to a fault in The General\'s
speed-learning software, The General\'s students are henceforth
compelled to use the letter \'m\' in the place of \'n\'. Examples:

Where am I?
Im the Village.
What do you wamt?
Imformatiom.
Whose side are you om?
That would be tellimg.
We wamt Imformatiom.
Imformatiom.
Imformatiom.
You wom\'t get it!
By hook or by crook, we will.
Who are you?
The mew Mumber Two.
Who is Mumber Ome?
You are Mumber Six.
I am mot a mumber...
I am a free mam!

We apologize for all comfusion this may cause.
Be seeimg you.

HB_88
Why?

[Phantom]

lol...Really good post!

[tallmacky]

Good post phero, I found it funny as hell forget all the M haters! hahahah. Most of what you say is true and right on the money.

[HB_88]

I\'m not an m hater--just trying to have some fun. Don\'t know how many Prisoner fans there are here, so the potential audience for that sort of thing is probably limited.

HB_88
Hikita/ Banzai 88

P.S.: I noticed that I missed an n-->m conversion on \"comfusion,\" but now it\'s too late to edit it.

[Phantom]

Of course you can edit it, just click edit on the side of the post.

[Whitehall]

What a bitter, loser post. With that attitude, I would neither hang out with you nor would I hire you. It\'s TOXIC.

What you young guys have to learn is that women need defenses against men who would just use them, for purposes that are not necessarily in the woman\'s best interest. Women are neither better nor worst, smarter or dumber than guys of roughly the same age. They DO have different self-interests.

The way to win with women is to recognize that different self-interest and to go with the COMMON interest. Yes, women need and want sex - just not exactly like you need and want sex. What they respect and appreciate in a guy is a man who knows himself and respects them. Just like a successful politician respects his constituants and they, in turn gives him power. Women WANT to give you power over them but only if they trust you to use it for their best interests.

Yes, they can be obnoxious sometimes, but so can you. Work on cutting down the oboxiousness and tthe good women will flock to you.

[tallmacky]

damnit whitehall your words came through like the ray through a cloud. must you ruin my guilty fun.

[Watcher]

Gotta agree - ok some of it is bs but other is true. Ive had one girl trying to lead me around as a play thing for the last few weeks and i got her a beauty, she then admitted she was back with her bf and then immediatley ignored her and her games and ive had nothing but friends telling me why am i ignoring her and i told them shes an \"attention whore\" and it got back to her and apparently she was dumbstruck but admitted to another female friend she should stop leading me around and do me and ive put it back that she wont get any off me cause she a bitch.

[belgareth]

Whitehall:

Well said and utterly true. The only thing to add is that there are both men and women that should be avoided because they will mess with you no matter what you do.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Whitehall\'s always good but sometimes he\'s effing brilliant and that was one of those times.

[bivonic]

While phersurf\'s post may seem extreme, there is some truth in there. I\'m thinking I need to give up on finding a younger woman, at least at this point in my life. I don\'t have my consulting business to draw \"power\" from & I find the older women (30+) have a lot less issues with finding their prince charming. The younger ones it seems are looking for perfection in a man, at least the more attractive younger ones say an 8+ on a scale from 1-10. I fall into the nice guy category & I\'m learning to play the stupid head games to get them (the 25-ish y.o. hotties) to find me more appealling.

phersurf - did you type that all up yourself or cut & paste from someplace? Just curious.

[franki]

Quote:
\"Found this somwhere on the Internet.\"

Franki [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

[Whitehall]

A woman\'s power peaks with her fertility. A woman in her 20\'s has sexual bargaining power to get the best deal of her life. She\'ll need to weed out the offers - maybe you don\'t always make the cut - it happens to the best of us since women don\'t always get it right.

As I\'ve said before, it can\'t be easy for a woman to decide to whom she should offer her vagina. The original posting did describe some of the techniques women use to test men and to divert attention from those that don\'t make the cut. Sophisticated women with class have more subtle ways of diversion but then sophisticated men with class have better ways of approaching than most of us.

It\'s a cruel world - get used to it and stop whining.

[phersurf]

Thanks Franki! (or should I say, thamks Framki [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/blush.gif[/img])

You seem to be the only person that noticed that it was a copy and paste from another website. I just thought it was kinda funny in a harsh, sarcastic sort of way.

Don\'t take it so personally. people! Lighten the f\' ck up!

[phersurf]

Here is the website.

<a target=\"_blank\" href=http://maddox.xmission.com>http://maddox.xmission.com</a>

I mean come on, the guy has an article critiquing childeren\'s art and why it sucks.

[Elana]

That is one of my favorite sites.
The guy is so demented. As usual you copied me again. I just posted the site here a few days ago. Now to make up for this, you can buy me a Mojito and we\'ll talk about children\'s pictures that suck. [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif[/img] Or I\'ll hire the guy to kick your ass. [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif[/img]

http://maddox.xmission.com/beatass.html

[bundyburger]

Careful phersurf. Elana has contacts. You\'d better stop stealing her posts. [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/tongue.gif[/img]

Elana you must be on a high now. They say imitation is a form of flattery. [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif[/img]

[bivonic]

Elana - I can see how much that site has sculpted your personality. All I had to do was take the personality test to draw that conclusion!!

I just read a ton of his stuff. I especially like his statement about why he chose Black background with grey text (from his FAQ), he said as much as you want the screen on your monitor to resemble a piece of paper it isn\'t. He said try staring at your screen with the lights turned out, it\'s like staring into a lightbulb. Not a smart thing to do. I\'m sold.

[Watcher]

Has this site sculpted anyone elses personality latley.
I think i might take a personality test, i trust what women say less now and their actions become all important.

Im sold on the idea bivonic, got any new ones to add.

I got a chuckle out of the original post and to be honest some of it is true, but it does reflect that women in their peak fertility do go after the best males around, just more motivation for the rest of us to work harder.

That said the trade off they take is that a good man wont come along and then they settle for less. Or they get to 40 and miss out on kids all together as their fertility is gone.

[Elana]

&lt;&lt;Elana - I can see how much that site has sculpted your personality. All I had to do was take the personality test to draw that conclusion!!&gt;&gt;

LMAO [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif[/img]
Big B....I swear it is just a coincidence. [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif[/img] As you can see....even he agrees with me. [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif[/img]

[phersurf]

I guess I need to start running my posts through you before I post them[img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] I wouldn\'t want to be accused of plagiarism (I\'ve been accused of worse, but that\'s a topic for another day).

I will gladly buy you that Mojito. The Conga Room on Wilshire in Los Angeles this Saturday.

[Watcher]

Running youre posts through this forum will turn them upside down and inside out before we are finished with them.