TOP SECRET: FOR LADIES ONLY!!!

[MOBLEYC57]

We always hear \"the rules\" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. Please note: these are all numbered \"1\" ON PURPOSE!

#1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You\'re a big girl. If it\'s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don\'t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

#1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

#1. Sunday = sports. It\'s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

#1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

#1. Crying is blackmail. But know this don\'t you!?

#1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! LET US KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU WANT!!!

#1. We don\'t remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on the calendar. Remind us. You\'ll still get something this way.

#1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we\'d be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

#1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. Please pick one.

#1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That\'s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

#1. A headache that lasts for seventeen months is a problem. See a doctor!

#1. Let us know about that funny noise in your car engine as soon as you hear it.

#1. Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after seven days.

#1. If you won\'t dress like Victoria\'s Secret girls, don\'t expect us to act like soap opera guys.

#1. If you think you\'re fat, you probably are. Don\'t ask us. We refuse to answer, but still love you.

#1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

#1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

#1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

#1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girl friends.

#1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what Mauve is.

#1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

#1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

#1. If we ask what is wrong and you say \"nothing,\" we will act like nothing\'s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

#1. If you ask a question you don\'t want an answer to, expect an answer you don\'t want to hear.

#1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really, you look fine!!

#1. It is not in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. Doesn\'t matter which quiz.

#1. NASCAR is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

#1. I AM in shape. ROUND is a shape!

Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don\'t mind that, it\'s like camping.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Couch, my ass. Backyard in the doghouse, and stay there.

[MOBLEYC57]

I\'m sure that even you FTR, would not send me to the doghouse with............a BONE! [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif[/img]

[Blackwidow_Woman]

yup to the dog house is right FTR... Camping my a$$ to either she comes out and kisses your nice rear end and gives you the time of your life or you lay there sulking wondering damn is she really gona be this way and leave me here....
Now then again my couch has heat message you just might enjoy that to much..hehehehehehe!!!!!!

[MOBLEYC57]

BWW!!! You\'re always starting something!!! But you don\'t know with whom your dealing baby!!! Ya see, before any of the doghouse stuff happens...I\'d make sure I did wonderful things to that mind and body of hers, that there could be no way she\'d want me to be away from her for more than a minute! [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif[/img] Especially if we\'re not at work! Ha! [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif[/img] There\'s just something about a full body massage, or a good foot massage, or a Mobley\'s hand & soap bath....that just seems to tame the wildest of the wild! [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif[/img] Not even speaking of the white gloves, tall black hat, and the magic wand! [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] Ti faccio una bella cosa! Giorno o notte? [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif[/img]

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Yeah, yeah. Italian. Pretty. Now can I sit on your lap?

[MOBLEYC57]

E poi? [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/tongue.gif[/img] Sei mi fai duro!? [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/crazy.gif[/img] Che fai di bella? [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]