Attraction analysis

[bivonic]

Attraction
n.
1. The act or capability of attracting.
2. The quality of attracting; charm.
3.
.....a. A feature or characteristic that attracts.
.....b. A person, place, thing, or event that is intended to attract: The main attraction was a Charlie Chaplin film.
4.
.....a. The electric or magnetic force exerted by oppositely charged particles, tending to draw or hold the particles together.
.....b. The gravitational force exerted by one body on another.

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Recently I\'ve started to just give my conscious thoughts a rest & try to listen to my subconscious or at least give it some \"air time\" during the day. I had an epiphany on an unusually long bus ride to work - I read a little from two different books & then I just closed my eyes & relaxed for the rest of the ride.

One thing that came to mind was this girl I saw at a bar last Friday night, but from her looks & the way she carried herself & the fact she was talking to a friend of mine (not to sound egotistical) who I view a notch below me on the social scale - led me to the conclusion that I was not attracted to her - that\'s not to say if I thought she was an 8 or higher I would have thought otherwise. I was not attracted to her nor was I interested in approaching her. I guess I\'ve always had to have this inner spark in order to have a high enough level of interest to approach a girl. Yesterday however I came across her again & started playing some pool games with her, once I became familiar with her personality & gave her another look over I became very attracted to her. I noticed her fine body & thought she was more physically attractive to me (face included). So on my ride to work I just thought to myself that I should widen my range of attractiveness of girls that I approach and not always be in \"hook up\" mode, that way if my initial visual instinct was correct & that spark was not there to begin with nor did it develop through conversation then I will not be sending out the wrong signals.

When I reflect at how my friends behave around women, I just always assumed that I had a more narrow range of acceptable women that I would target for mates, I still do to a certain extent, but then I remembered my good friend from back home, who is very successful with girls & he uses this very same strategy that I outlined above, however he is more extroverted & social then I am, but he gets great results & in the past when I\'ve questioned, why did you even approach that girl, she\'s not hot, his response would be somewhere along the lines of, yeah I know - I was just making polite conversation, I don\'t always try to hook up. This struck me kind of funny since he is one of the biggest players I know & he has on many occassion hooked up with some women I would not have given a second look. Conversely I\'ve met some of his girlfriends which at first sight I thought they were okay looking but not hot either, but once I have a conversation with some of these girls, my interest level & level of attraction increase.

Not trying to preach anything, just thought I\'d share some thoughts in my quest to understand how the human brain functions specifically in regards to attraction both from a female perspective & a male perspective.

[Whitehall]

One thing I\'ve learned is that for great things to come to you, you often have to be open to them. That includes people - if one acts in a highly discriminatory way towards people, rejecting most people as unworthy on first glance, then your immediate view of the world will filter out most of the world.

And guess what? What you think you know about the world is ALWAYS, ALWAYS less than what\'s correct and good. In other words, none of us has the final word on what\'s good and worthwhile in the world.

Pay attention and you can be surprised and delighted by what the world has to offer you.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Perhaps try to see a woman as something other than what you experience visually and realize she might have something to offer in the way of clever conversation. Or a hell of a blow job.

Women are worth knowing as other than sex objects.

[Sexyredhead]

Hear, hear.

A lot of times the most annoying thing in the world is a guy in hook up mode. Especially if that\'s obviously the only thing he\'s there for.

[bivonic]

I think it\'s a double edged sword.

There have been times when I\'ll approach a girl that I think is clearly not out of my league & she will put on an attitude just based on how she perceives me with out even giving me a chance.

I bet you 99% of the cases that when a man approaches a woman, the woman assumes the guy is trying to convince her to go home with him, that simply is not true. This is from observations in the NYC area, women could be less defensive in other parts of the country.

I do much better getting introductions from a trusted 3rd party.

[Sexyredhead]

Very true. I much prefer the third party intro. That way I know the guy/girl doing the introducing and know whether or not they\'d throw me something good.

Some guys just lay it on too thick, trying to make an impression. Unfortunately, it\'s not the right impression. Third party intros let you just hang out and get to know somebody as themselves, and if you don\'t click, you\'ve still got the mutual friend to keep everybody together until you can politely leave.

[CptKipling]

\"Women are worth knowing as other than sex objects.\"

Really? [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/tongue.gif[/img]

[Elana]

Yes they are Mr. 8\"...I mean CkpKipling. Show some respect. [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif[/img]

[CptKipling]

And I thought thats all they were interested in, well blow me... [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif[/img]

[bivonic]

<blockquote><font class=\"small\">In reply to:</font><hr>

I bet you 99% of the cases that when a man approaches a woman, the woman assumes the guy is trying to convince her to go home with him, that simply is not true. This is from observations in the NYC area, women could be less defensive in other parts of the country.


<hr></blockquote>That probably has to do with the brainwashing that ALL MEN think of sex every 7 seconds. - I know I replied to myself so shoot me.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Blow you, you say? I do love a challenge....