The actual signs and bumper stickers spotted around the country:

** On a Plumbers truck : \"We repair what your husband fixed.\"

** Pizza shop slogan: \"7 days without pizza makes one weak.\"

** At a tire shop in Milwaukee: \"Invite us to your next blowout.\"

** At a towing company: \"We don\'t charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.\"

** In a non-smoking area: \"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.\"

** On a maternity room door: \"Push. Push. Push.\"

** At an optometrist\'s office: \"If you don\'t see what you\'re looking for, you\'ve come to the right place.\"

** On a fence: \"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive.\"

** In a veterinarian\'s waiting room : \"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!\"

** At the electric company: \"We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don\'t, you will be.\"

** In the front yard of a funeral home: \"Drive carefully. We\'ll wait.\"


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