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  1. #1
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    Default Still having sex problems

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    Hi everyone, I have posted in the past about my VERY cute girl friend, and my problems in our first sexual encounters.
    We have been together for about four months now, and most of the time I can do fine..... but I keep waiting to be able to perform as I know I can. What I mean is I can get it up, but many times it is not fully hard or after we do it for awhile I start to loose it. Or I find that I have a hard time cuming. I have been useing Viagra, and I think that takes some of the pressure off my mind... But I have a a few things happen latley that make s me feel that I dont need Viagra.
    A few nights ago, we where at her parents house, I had no viagra with me. Alone in a room she started things going, and evorything worked as I have always been able to in the past. GOD it felt good, and no Viagra at all. I dont like the Viagra.... it makes me have a headach, and I think it makes it hard for me to cum. Also I have stoped masterbating latley in order to \"save up\" for her. But one night I tried it just to see if I would have the same problems \"alone\". Evory thing worked as I would like it to, fully hard, and no problem cumming.
    I dont know what to do.... I am quite disstressed about this. She is sooo pretty, and SOO sexual. She is everything I have ever wanted sexualy in a woman. The only thing I can think of is that she so cute, and so sexual that I get worried about my performance. (With her high level of sexuality) I want so bad to be good for her that it makes me nervous. Her looks also still are causing me to be nervous. I find her looks stunning. Its like she is too good looking. I have never been like this before. When I am in bed with her I feel like I am a kid in a candy store, that is so overwhelmed that he cant eat anything (no pun intended). I am 43, and fit. She is 30
    She wants to get Married, as do I. She has proffessed her love for me over and over again. I would think that by now I would be comfortable with her... Yet every time I see her, my heart jumps as I look at her stunning face and body.
    I have been to a sex theripist who tells me its axiety.... (no [bad word]). I am supposed to \"not worry\" about it. But many times durring sex the thought will cross my mind.. \"I hope I dont loose it\" and then it happens...
    Guys, its like I have this dream girl, but I cant function....
    And its driving me crazy. I really dont think its a good idea to talk to her about this... I mean I dont think it would do much for my \"alpha\" image. And thats on thing I have noticed about her, she very much wants me to be \"alpha\".
    What can I do?

  2. #2
    Phero Enthusiast nonscents's Avatar
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    Default Re: Still having sex problems

    You could give this a try:

    <a target=\"_blank\" href=http://www.emofree.com/>EFT link</a>

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Still having sex problems

    your age might be a indication of \'middle age crises\' (was for me bout then) and your physical condition is what now???

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    Default Re: Still having sex problems

    Wolfe, he says he\'s 43 and fit.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Still having sex problems

    by phy condition what i\'m asking is have you had any probs with prostate or such lately?

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    Default Re: Still having sex problems

    OH! What about this? What about if you used techniques that unmistakeably put you in charge? Don\'t laugh -- what if you tied her up? and/or blindfolded her? it might help.

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    Default Re: Still having sex problems

    I have just a a full pyhsical... evorything is \"perfect\" according to my Doc.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Still having sex problems

    i know darling, but \'fit\' doesnt mean healthy prostate [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]. you can be \'fit\' but if not working out it can affect -mones output to ya know [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Still having sex problems

    LMAO OR how bout if she TIES YOU up [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

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    Default Re: Still having sex problems

    He\'s fine - he does fine on his own - he\'s intimidated by this girl\'s looks and her acting so hot. Nothing wrong with the equipment.


  11. #11
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    Default Re: Still having sex problems

    FTR, I understand what you are saying..... but that kind of thing just does not turn me on. I want the girl to be involved, and agresssive. However she would love it... perhapes thats part of the problem. She really likes to have a man completely \"do\" her. So its like I feel I really have to perform and do everything.

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    Default Re: Still having sex problems

    Yeah, that\'s the problem!
    When\'s your birthday, when\'s her birthday?

  13. #13
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    Default Re: Still having sex problems

    lol ,sorry Ls.. Red always gets me sidetracked( my personal weakness for redheads gets me every time )..doc suck..no offence. now that said, have you noticed any change in your hair( such as faster greying or dullness) or in your nails (finger/toe) where they show signs of streaks of diff colors(hard to describe that part )??

  14. #14
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    Default Re: Still having sex problems

    My birthday ias 7/14/1959 ... Hers is 2/7/1972

  15. #15
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    Default Re: Still having sex problems

    i went through the same thing he\'s discribing at about his age and known some others to do the same but i\'ll hush

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    Default Re: Still having sex problems

    No change in nails of hair.... why?

  17. #17
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    Default Re: Still having sex problems

    Moon/Mars conflict
    Venus/Saturn conflict
    Mercury/Venus conflict
    Mars/Saturn conflict

    It\'s a near miss. It\'s almost perfect, but ALMOST. SO frustrating.
    I say DO talk to her. You need to say what you want in bed, not just feel like you have to cater to her.

    Synastry data for Lscread and Ms. DoMe
    Generated by Astromatch


    Planetary positions

    Lscread Ms. DoMe
    Sun 21\' 19\' Cancer Sun 17\' 49\' Aquarius
    Moon 04\' 23\' Scorpio Moon 18\' 11\' Scorpio
    Mercury 16\' 39\' Leo Mercury 10\' 41\' Aquarius
    Venus 04\' 37\' Virgo Venus 26\' 31\' Pisces
    Mars 26\' 20\' Leo Mars 27\' 58\' Aries
    Jupiter 22\' 13\' Scorpio Jupiter 00\' 07\' Capricorn
    Saturn 02\' 31\' Capricorn Saturn 29\' 46\' Taurus
    Uranus 15\' 03\' Leo Uranus 18\' 09\' Libra
    Neptune 04\' 09\' Scorpio Neptune 04\' 58\' Sagittarius
    Pluto 02\' 32\' Virgo Pluto 01\' 41\' Libra




    Synastry aspects
    Trine Lscread Sun / Ms. DoMe Moon - orb: 03\' 08\'
    This is one of the finest comparative combinations for a successful romantic relationship or marriage. This is especially true when it is the man\'s Sun and woman\'s Moon, but the aspect is very positive and harmonious in either direction. This trine produces a receptivity to the energy and creative self-expression of the Sun. The Sun person tends to initiate action and take the leadership role in the relationship (explaining why, in a traditional sense, it is preferable to have a \'his\' Sun and \'her\' Moon). The interaction between partners has a pleasant flow. The nature of the relationship tends to take on the flavor of the element (earth, fire, air or water) within which these bodies reside.

    Trine Lscread Sun / Ms. DoMe Venus - orb: 05\' 12\'
    This is an excellent comparative combination for romantic and sexual attraction and marriage. You enjoy each other\'s company and have fun together. There is good emotional rapport and mutual sensitivity and generosity. You encourage each other socially and culturally.

    Square Lscread Sun / Ms. DoMe Uranus - orb: 03\' 10\'
    This combination may produce extremely strong attractions of very short and unstable duration. There is an attitude of rebellion likely in this relationship. You may tend to find her very unreliable and undependable in certain ways. Cooperation in any sort of relationship is difficult to maintain.

    Opposition Lscread Moon / Ms. DoMe Mars - orb: 06\' 24\'
    Usually this combination produces emotional conflict. The Mars person is viewed as aggressive, domineering and insensitive, while this person is likely to look upon the Moon person as too moody and overly emotional. This comparative aspect is not favorable of compatibility in marriage and romance, although it can produce sexual attraction. In marital or romantic relationships, one partner may feel that he or she is being exploited for sexual or financial reasons. The aspect can cause angry scenes and emotional conflict. Arguments of joint finances. You must work consciously at exercising patience, gentleness, and consideration for each other.

    Sextile Lscread Moon / Ms. DoMe Jupiter - orb: 04\' 16\'
    This comparative combination produces generosity and good will in your relationship. This aspect is better in business relationships as it provides a basis of understanding and trust. These elements are, of course, helpful in any relationship.

    Opposition Ms. DoMe Sun / Lscread Mercury - orb: 01\' 11\'
    This comparative combination promises a good deal of communication between the two of you, but there is likely to be widely varying viewpoints and opinions. You are probably able to arrive at a balanced judgment.

    Square Ms. DoMe Moon / Lscread Mercury - orb: 01\' 32\'
    This aspect produces difficulty in communication and with general understanding one another regarding everyday practical domestic affairs and family matters. There may be disagreement over diet, personal hygiene, neatness and order in the home, and the handling of personal affairs. Mercury tends to operate on a more intellectual and rational level, while the Moon responds on an instinctual and emotional level. Mercury is likely to view the other as over-emotional and unreliable, while the Moon person sees the other as overly critical and insensitive. A good deal of time may be spend discussing these differences with little resolve.

    Opposition Lscread Mercury / Ms. DoMe Mercury - orb: 05\' 58\'
    This opposition indicates relationship problems arising from differences in intellectual viewpoints and difficulties in communication. You are apt to disagree in matters of dress, personal hygiene, diet, or work habits. There is a great deal of difference in mental outlook.

    Sextile Lscread Mercury / Ms. DoMe Uranus - orb: 01\' 30\'
    This is a good aspect sparking a very interesting and creative friendship. You seem to be able to help each other come up with original ideas that make sense. This is a good combination for individuals involved in writing, the communication media, advertising, and scientific work of all kinds. Your minds seem to click well together.

    Trine Lscread Venus / Ms. DoMe Mars - orb: 06\' 38\'
    This is one of the best comparative aspect for sexual compatibility. There is likely to be a strong romantic attraction here, as well as a connection conducive to emotional and social compatibility. This is an excellent combination for romantic relationships and for marriage because of the high degree of both social and sexual compatibility.

    Trine Lscread Venus / Ms. DoMe Jupiter - orb: 04\' 30\'
    This aspect denotes mutual interests in social and cultural art forms, and religious, educational, and philosophical pursuits. You will stimulate each other\'s interest and participation in religious and charitable activities, especially when these are combined with social functions. This aspect forecasts the sharing of a good deal of generosity with one another. You are both intuitively considerate of the other. This is an excellent comparative combination for harmony in romantic and marital relationships because of its long-range implications predicting shared cultural, religious, and philosophical values.

    Square Lscread Venus / Ms. DoMe Saturn - orb: 04\' 51\'
    This comparative combination is one that is very difficult in a relationship. In most cases, you won\'t be voluntarily attracted to each other. Your relationship is one that probably should be avoided, for this is not a good aspect for marriage or romance. When these do occur, there is usually a financial, ulterior, or status motive involved, either from the individuals or their families. Saturn ttends to have a lack of consideration and may find it difficult to express affection. Saturn is apt to discourage Venus from any excessive show of affection. The Saturn is apt to considerably older and less tolerant than the Venus person.

    Trine Lscread Mars / Ms. DoMe Mars - orb: 01\' 39\'
    This comparative trine is favorable for mutual actions and accomplishments in a variety of areas. You tend to spur each other\'s drive and initiative without ego confrontations. Often encouragement is extended toward efforts of self-improvement through physical exercise, professional initiative, or business enterprise. This aspect also tends to generate sexual attraction.

    Trine Lscread Mars / Ms. DoMe Jupiter - orb: 03\' 47\'
    This aspect denotes enjoyment in sharing outdoor activities, sports, and travel. It is a good combination for constructive, practical cooperation in family and domestic affairs. You are apt to encourage each other\'s efforts at physical, spiritual, or personal self-improvement. Jupiter tends to channel the energies of Mars into more constructive activity, while Mars has the effect of putting educational, philosophical, or religious goals into action.

    Square Lscread Mars / Ms. DoMe Saturn - orb: 03\' 26\'
    This is a difficult aspect for any kind of personal relationship. Saturn has a restraining influence on Mars in this combination. There is apt to be conflict regarding joint financial affairs and behavior in general.

    Square Ms. DoMe Sun / Lscread Jupiter - orb: 04\' 24\'
    With this combination natural tendencies toward excesses, expressed by either individual, are likely to be extended and inflated. Extravagance, overconfidence, and overextending will be a bi-product of the relationship. You tend to encourage each other\'s tendencies toward self-indulgence and impracticality. This is not a good relationship for raising a family because there is a tendency to ignore responsibility and too much is taken for granted. In romantic relationships difficulties arise over differences in philosophic, religious, or moral viewpoints.

    Conjunction Ms. DoMe Moon / Lscread Jupiter - orb: 04\' 02\'
    This aspect puts a good deal of harmony in your relationship. You share feelings of trust and mutual confidence. You tend to have compatible religious, social and ethical values, and you encourage each other. This placement of itself doesn\'t indicate romance, but it will increase the quality of a romantic relationship and it also will increase the durability and stability of a marital relationship.

    Trine Ms. DoMe Venus / Lscread Jupiter - orb: 04\' 18\'
    This aspect denotes mutual interests in social and cultural art forms, and religious, educational, and philosophical pursuits. You will stimulate each other\'s interest and participation in religious and charitable activities, especially when these are combined with social functions. This aspect forecasts the sharing of a good deal of generosity with one another. You are both intuitively considerate of the other. This is an excellent comparative combination for harmony in romantic and marital relationships because of its long-range implications predicting shared cultural, religious, and philosophical values.

    Trine Ms. DoMe Mars / Lscread Saturn - orb: 04\' 33\'
    This comparative combination is helpful in marital relations as it provides the mutual discipline to get through troubled times. Thus, it provides durability in the relationship.

    Opposition Ms. DoMe Sun / Lscread Uranus - orb: 02\' 46\'
    This comparative combination often produces a serious clash of wills. Uranus wants freedom and independence and the Sun tends to be authoritarian. If you want to get along, there must be a strict appreciation of space and an unconditional acceptance of independent ways.

    Square Ms. DoMe Moon / Lscread Uranus - orb: 03\' 08\'
    This comparative combination is known for its sudden and very temporary attractions and infatuations. Long term, this is not a relationship aspect that works out. You tend to make each other nervous and irritable, and you\'re prone to disagreements. Emotional upsets and immature behavior often mark relationships showing this aspect.

    Opposition Ms. DoMe Mercury / Lscread Uranus - orb: 04\' 22\'
    You stimulate each other mentally in many exciting and perhaps unusual ways. Your relationship may be a little undisciplined at times, but it won\'t lack for interest. Mutual interests in science, occult subjects, group activities, or social reforms may connect in this relationship.



    Interpretation text © MichaelMcClain 1997 - http://www.astrology-numerology.com/

  18. #18
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    Default Re: Still having sex problems

    FTR, the report seems a bit confusing..... How do you feel it applys?

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    Default Re: Still having sex problems

    The Moon/Mars conflict in particular jumps out at me and is what I smelled reading his post. Her male energy (Mars=how you get what you want, how you go for things) conflicts with his female energy, his emotional stability. They\'re out of synch. Mars is male energy; the moon is female energy. Her male energy and his female energy aren\'t clicking. She\'s making him feel pushed and anxious - exactly what he said.

    Venus/Saturn conflicts have to do with expression of affection/lovemaking. Saturn is the greater malefic, Venus is affection/attraction. There\'s a damper on expression of affection.
    \"In most cases, you won\'t be voluntarily attracted to each other. Your relationship is one that probably should be avoided, for this is not a good aspect for marriage or romance. [meaning, \"sex\"]\" -- Notice how he\'s like, she\'s so gorgeous, I SHOULD be all over her, but I can\'t get it up/keep it up - not voluntarily attracted - he\'s having to talk himself into it to some degree.
    \"When these do occur, there is usually a financial, ulterior, or status motive involved, either from the individuals or their families.\" STATUS motive - she\'s gorgeous, a beautiful woman makes a man feel wealthy, she has value as an aquisition. He\'s like, how can I not respond to this valuable thing? Something must be wrong with me.

    \"Saturn tends to have a lack of consideration and may find it difficult to express affection. \" The way she is doesn\'t make him feel comfortable/warm/relaxed.

    I have to get a package out but I\'ll come back to this if you want.

    The main thing I wanted to show him is that if he decides this relationship is not going to work, not to kick himself because he didn\'t perform as well as he could have, or because he let this \"perfect\" woman go and it\'s all his fault. It\'s not all his fault. The energy between them is just not quite clicking in some crucial areas, although it\'s so well aspected in others that it makes you want to scream. It\'s almost perfect but it\'s not.

    Oh - Her Saturn, his Mars. His Mars, his male energy, is being dampened/restrained/inhibited by her Saturn placement. Which is what he just told us.




  20. #20
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    Default The specific issue is....

    You don\'t feel you deserve her.

    You think \"I can\'t deserve a woman this fine; if I make one small misstep it will all disappear.\" I\'ve been there, brother; I know. Performance anxiety.

    The solution is to realize that there are many other women out there that could make you just as happy if not more so. There are 3,000,000,000+ women on the planet, after all.

    Sure, you\'d have to get back in the hunt if this one doesn\'t pan out but you caught this one, didn\'t you?

    Plus, she may seem perfect now, when you\'re deep in lust, but will she be worth keeping for another 30, 40, 50 years? Don\'t ever believe that another human being is PERFECT - it just ain\'t so and you know it. If you do keep her, there will be compromises and disappointments along the way. Will she compromise to meet your needs?

    You\'ve lost your head (and heart) over her. Are you SURE she\'s perfect? Are you SURE that there will never be a disappointment on YOUR part with her? Get a grip and use you head.

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    Default Re: The specific issue is....

    Long term, this wouldn\'t work out. I hate to say it, but what I see is her ultimately carrying completely through with dampening your male energy. Nag, bitch, whine, complain, and if the sex isn\'t working now, add the stressors of marriage to it and see what happens ...

    Your body knows. It\'s talking to you.

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    Default Re: The specific issue is....

    Thanks FTR, and Whitehall for your replys. I understand.

  23. #23
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    Default Re: The specific issue is....

    With all due respect FTR, I don\'t see how you can write off this man\'s relationship. I think that is wrong. I know you are sincerely trying to help, but...

    LS: This situation is obviously bringing you down. But you say you both really enjoy each others company, so focusing on that would be a good place to start. Sex is supposed to be fun, concentrate on yourself for a while. Easing up on masterbation would help, getting more hormones cursing through your veins. Personal well being is also important. Your doc said that everything is perfect, but do you FEEL good right now?

    If the answer is no, then maybe you should consider getting a good vit. sup., I have been taking slightly over the RDA and really does leave me feeling good, my mood is sky high!

    Pheros may be able to help aswell.

    Maybe giving her a perfume laced with EW, or some other ladies product. -nol will loosen things up in this area, similar affect to alcohol in a way. -none on you will make you feel more alpha, and her dominated, and -rone (iirc) is often associated with sex...

    By all means, if you don\'t see a future, then you should be making some decisions, I yield to FTR and Whitehalls greater experience in this case.

  24. #24
    Carpal Tunnel Whitehall's Avatar
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    Default Re: The specific issue is....

    I am certainly NOT implying that he should dump her.

    Just take her off the pedestal and look at her as a fellow human being who is considering a conjoining of interests with him. She\'s not a Goddess set on Earth, she\'s another human being, frail and with faults just like he is. That is the route to real connectedness in any case.

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    Default Re: The specific issue is....

    ------------------------------------------
    Get a grip and use you head.
    ------------------------------------------

    Whitehall: master of the straight line... [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif[/img]

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    Default Re: The specific issue is....

    I just re-read you post in a different context, makes sense now!

    You\'re very right as usual Whitehall.

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    Default Re: The specific issue is....

    ------------------------------------------
    Just take her off the pedestal
    ------------------------------------------

    Grab her by the ears, and pull her on like a boot! [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif[/img]

  28. #28
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    Default Re: Still having sex problems

    Seems to me that sex is the problem . So get rid of the problem.
    Make an agreement for a while not to have sex at all (includeing masturbation) for maybe a month. now there will be no pressure to perform in the relationship and you can concentrate on getting to know each other. Then if you can get through that you can conqure anything together.
    There is no such thing as stress, only fear, pinpoint what it is that you are afraid of and then you can work on getting over it.

    By the way I don\'t claim to know anything when it comes to women. Safer that way.

  29. #29
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    Default Re: The specific issue is....

    thats the point i WAS trying to get around to, my doc told me i was fine too, what a crock that was, and 6 months later i was in BAD shape cause of it. A herbilist straightened me out in 2 months by simply telling me to get on a good \"MENS\" vit-diet supplement which has zinc in it and the herbs like gensing, sawtooth, and few others, vitiman world carries a damn good vit/diet sup and its cheap,,,boost you all the way..not to mention even IF he\'s not suffering it now..he will be soon and like ladies take calcium as a preventive, so should men age 40+ take these vits+sups..IHMO..and i been there so.(honestly thought my sex drive was lost to me, well, it wasnt-not by a long shot)
    a reg dose of DHEA wouldn\'t hurt either.

  30. #30
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    Default Re: Still having sex problems

    7/14/1959...well i\'ll be darned, that\'s my mom\'s birthday!

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