The Ginger Factor

[**DONOTDELETE**]

What Tounge and Joshua seemed to me to have in common was the idea that the men get to talk here about anything they want, but the women should shut up unless they\'re agreeing with the guys. Joshua came right out and said it in this thread -- but it\'s been said many times in many ways all throughout, guys saying they wished we\'d \"go to the women\'s forum\" as if we\'re being sent to our room ... guys talking about sex or women\'s body parts, but if we do it, we\'re whores or transvestites ... guys who are blatantly, constantly critical of women as a species, so to speak ... to go back to the fact that it\'s Bruce\'s forum, he made us a place here, we\'re invited here, and as much as the guys might not like it and wish it was the He-Man-Woman-Hater\'s Club, that\'s not reality. The more the guys try to \"put us in our place,\" the more inclined we are to get up in your face and prove we won\'t tolerate it. If as many guys got called fags as we got called whores and whatnot, there\'d be some serious hell to pay. The women here have to deal with a lot of crap verging on abuse sometimes and we get tired of it. And Tounge, you seem to have real short appreciation or respect (and I don\'t mean being obsequious, I mean just basic respect as a person) for women just because they\'re women, whether you like their viewpoints or not. Maybe I\'m getting you all wrong, but that\'s my strong impression. I remember that politics thread, too, not the particulars, but that you stomped all over someone who hadn\'t done anything that I could see to provoke it, it was this blast of meanness out of nowhere. It\'s been more than one or two threads.

[krtel]

I would never get angry at a woman if she is emotional. Actually, if she was, I\'d find it easier for myself to open up to her over time rather than with another woman who acts stuck up and expresses absolutely no emotion.

I don\'t have the experience to answer your last question in full depth and accuratly, but I\'ll try my best:

Because of the details of my childhood (I rather not go into detail.) I fall in love easily because I strongly desire it. When I say love, its not necessarily in a romantic sense. However, I grew up without it, but have felt it a couple of times here and there. So at first, I expressed it very easily, without any knowledge of how vulnerable I was making myself, and when I finally did realize, it wasn\'t anything pretty. I stopped. So to answer your question, when I get physical with a woman, such as hugging or holding her, I do feel like I might be able to express love to her because at that point, I feel comfortable with her, however, that comfort would have to build up over time. It wouldn\'t happen for me over night.

- Krish

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Right, I see what you\'re saying. You used to get crushes easily and you\'d let your crush know the force of your feelings early on and they\'d be overwhelmed. I used to, too. [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] It comes with experience, the timing thing. It\'s probably better in the long run to wait a little before the \"I love you\'s\" start, like you\'re saying (if I have you right).

[krtel]

Yeah, I think ya have me right, lol. That sounds like the old me. Now I\'m very selective when I tell people I love them. I haven\'t told it to anyone in a couple of years. A lot of times I actually do feel it, I just won\'t tell. For a while, I was actually starting to think something was wrong with me. :\\

- Krish

[upsidedown]

Wow, almost 6 hours since a post in this thread. That\'s got to be close to a record.

Maybe that means this thread is finally fizzling out..........nah, who\'m I kidding.

[DrSmellThis]

OK, FTR. I have consulted the Guy Buddha; and delivered the Oracle\'s words in the form of a new thread. [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif[/img]

[seadove]

Oh my Gosh FTR
20 pages of Ginger bread !!! And all in two days?

[**DONOTDELETE**]

*blush*

[seadove]

And Why can\'t I PM you?
problem?

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I turned pm\'s off for a little while. Just needed a break.

[upsidedown]

Hey Krtel.

Krish, I reread my response to Tounge a few posts previous to this one. After reading it again, I feel it might have sounded a bit like I was putting you down. Sorry about that. No offense was intended, and I didn\'t mean it to sound like I was taking a jab at you either. My apologies for not being more careful with how I worded my post.

[krtel]

Hey,

No problem at all mate. [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] I had to read it a couple of times, and I figured ya didn\'t mean anything offensive.

It was also never my intention to offend you (and anyone else.) either with my opinion on republicans in the post where me and \"tounge\" went at it. So, my apologies [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img].

Thanks for the thought!

- Krish

[upsidedown]

No problem. Thanks.

[bundyburger]

FTRH,
Thanks for starting this thread. I learnt something today that may have taken another twenty years if you hadn\'t.

It has just opened up a whole new level of understanding that has explained so much. I had no idea that what I thought was the right thing to do, to find a solution and to try and help, was THE problem all along.

It comes down to the simple fact that I wasn\'t \'listening\'. And it\'s not necasarily \'listening\' in the literal (hearing/sound) sense either.

You said ...\"Every time you butt in, it\'s a piece of her heart. The more you keep on, the more you push her away.\"

That\'s exactly what I did. I never \'Butt In\' rudely but in way I do. That\'s contradicting itself I know but \'I\' know what I mean. And I didn\'t necessarily butt in during a conversation. I butted in between conversations too. [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/frown.gif[/img]

It\'s not just that. Between you and Irish you have just made me feel better about myself and what happened with my last girlfriend. [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

It\'s a pity a couple of jerks cut in and ruined the flow of this thread, as it was probably the most important thing to learn about men/woman I\'ve seen in sooo long, if not ever.

I want to know more. Really.

[Wolfe]

bb, how old are you?

[bundyburger]

28.

Ok... Just updated my profile a little bit too. [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif[/img]

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Thank you so much for the validation and I hope it does save you pain.

[Wolfe]

should serve you well, you\'ve learned something most don\'t learn till way to late in life(IF they ever do at all)