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  1. #61
    Phero Pharaoh
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    Default Re: Works both ways

    visit-red-300x50PNG
    men are taught by other men how to \'communicate\' (as women are taught by other women) wherein may lie the problems between the sexs. Neither really understands the other. now no offence ladies, however you cant believe the number of times i\'ve had to listen to \"all men want is sex\" and though i\'ll admit i love to \'get it on\' it isnt what makes me breath.

  2. #62
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    Default Re: Works both ways

    No, and I know that\'s true from conversations I\'ve had with you, that it\'s not just about the sex.
    Conversely, women are accused of not being interested in sex when we ARE but we\'re made so we can\'t respond if we feel disconnected emotionally.
    Again, I\'m talking about relationships, not casual sex.

  3. #63
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    Default Re: Works both ways

    seems alot of \'prejudice\' in the world between the races and not just black/white/yellow/green but the sexs as well and thats really a shame as bonding is what it\'s all about..male/female attraction..the \'purpose\' i thought of -mone use was for to begin with

  4. #64
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    Default Re: The Ginger Factor

    BTW, IMHO this is a topic that belongs here. The heading states

    \"Discussion of pheromones and other topics related to the science of attraction \"
    now ya ask me,,communicating is nessicary to the attraction process..

  5. #65
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Ginger Factor

    Agreed, it belongs here. Some people just wanted something to complain about.

  6. #66
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    Default Re: The Ginger Factor

    I prefer Mary Ann.

  7. #67
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    Default A Zero Sum Game

    In some ways its a \"zero sum game\" - I win/you lose or you win and I lose.

    She complains and he has to listen begrudgely OR she sits silently complaining internally about the distance between them.

    The Win/Win plan is for him to devote some time to hearing her out and for her to keep it to the point. As always, compromise is the key to civilization.

    I don\'t think that the communicating styles are conditioned. I think they reflect internal neurological structures and have a largely genetic basis. Of course conditioning during development affects structure too to some extent.

  8. #68
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    Default Re: The Ginger Factor

    A journey can not end untill the first step is taken

  9. #69
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Zero Sum Game

    Is she really complaining or thinking out loud and trying to share her thoughts? To keep to the point, there needs to be one and that isn\'t always the case. Ever have one of those blue sky discussions over beer where several people ramble on for hours? My friends and I do it about computer related stuff. you may do it about physics. Whatever the topic, most people do it, and seem to, at some level, need it. Could that be loosely compared to a woman\'s talk? I think so and they need it just as much as we do.

    There is no reason to assume a zero sum game. Rather, how can we both win. That can only be done by both genders making a greater effort to understand the other. Niether side is without a point or without guilt when we fail to communicate.

  10. #70
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    Default Re: The Ginger Factor


    Wow, 67 posts in 3 hours. On a topic dealing with how men & women miscommunicate/misunderstand one another.

    There\'s a good one-liner here somewhere, I just can\'t put my finger on it! [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif[/img]


  11. #71
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    Default Re: The Ginger Factor

    Trust you to make me laugh for the first time since I opened up this Pandora\'s box. [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif[/img]

  12. #72
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    Default Re: The Ginger Factor


    [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] I\'m smilin\' at ya, baby~ [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]


  13. #73
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    Default Re: The Ginger Factor

    hum

  14. #74
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    Default Re: The Ginger Factor

    wolfe, I can barely understand a sentence I see from you. call me a \'stupid punk\' if you wish. the idea that the archives\' mass of stories are mostly false is too baseless and pointless to care about.


    and in my humble as well, this started off topic but somehow got more and more useful in a hurry after I spoke up.. and this form I\'m filling out? it says reply to (pheromone discussion). if it was reply to (moral lessons..) or reply to (female kvetching unlimited), maybe you\'d have something.


    one point being, people myself included are less likely to post their stories, much less real accounts, when people (known roughly as hypocrites) are telling some what would be moral to do.. when they themselves sound most foolish of all, as they too use foreign products to fool mating instincts of others. then act like every seduction should come right out of a novel with Fabio on the cover? please


    and no FTR, the mones are not like your lipstick or my expensive watch. and like I said, i didnt expect you to do anything less than sit back, dismiss it and say \"look, told you so!\" about the line of morons rushing to defend what you even know you did...


    and no doubt, if I visited the womens forum and a guy opened a thread.. SAID it was uncalled for from moment one.. and then still tiraded on the gender at large.. I\'d be annoyed. few more instances, sure I\'ll tell them to go play in traffic. but if its a soapbox like FTR\'s, one I already didnt like the shine of, I will toss in my voice.


    if I didnt think this trend hurt the research, I wouldnt post. if I didnt think it discouraged Joe pheromone from posting his true account, I wouldnt post. Now since you seem shallow enough to rely on numbers, ive seen quite a few Pms from guys already.

    other than saying I wasnt as nice as I couldve been (I think I\'ll sleep ok..) they at worst think I made good points.


    edit: wolfe, you read natedogg? speaking of shoes fitting, there\'s one tailor made for you

    edit 2: some redhead decided to do a edit job on their initial posts, quietly. while publicly I\'m to be ignored by the harem, hangers on etc. poor AFCs..

    edit 3: thanks for PMs. I know ya may lose the clique card telling these self-righteous insects to bug off. had to be done.

  15. #75
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    Default Re: A Zero Sum Game

    If you listen to women talk in groups you will pick up on how they take turns telling what bothers them, offering support to each other about similar experiences, etc. They hear each other out about problems. They get something out of the act of relating/sharing that men don\'t need - and don\'t really like to do ourselves.

    It\'s pretty amazing to a man - if a guy tries that with other guys we\'ll chastize him for whining and ask him pointedly when he plans to quit complaining and do something about it.

    By trial and error my approach has evolved into something like this:

    *If she\'s bothered by something I encourage her to tell me. It may take a while for the whole story to come out.
    *I really listen, ask questions and repeat back to make sure I really get it.
    *Bite my tongue when I have the perfect solution (this is the hard part).
    *When we\'re both sure I\'ve heard it, I see if she wants to talk about solutions.
    *Over time I train her that men are solution-oriented, and it helps me to feel useful if I can offer solutions. I also let her know that a man offering a solution is a form of male concern - but I recognize she needs a listening ear at the moment more than \'help\'.
    *This usually works out, but some women are as selfish and inconsiderate as any man, and are only concerned with their own needs. It\'s hard to form a partnership with that kind of woman, and any more I don\'t try.

  16. #76
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    Default Re: A Zero Sum Game

    It\'s good thinking.

    My solution has been to go completely non-verbal. if I want comfort, I put my head on his chest. He responds immediately by clutching my head to his chest and holding me tight -- it\'s -- I can feel it. I get what I need and don\'t have to talk about it. I\'ve tried and that\'s just not the relationship I have with this guy. I know he has for me the feelings that I want - I can feel it in him and I can tell by how he reacts physically - but talking is not going to happen and just screws things endlessly up.






  17. #77
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    Default Re: The Ginger Factor

    don\'t believe i called you any thing, however if the shoes fits. point is, you stepped in and made a statement that didnt need to be made, first off -IF you read what this forum is about you\'d realize that w/o comunications (both verbal and physical) there\'d be no need for this forum to be here.
    second place what you think of me or what i say means little to me.
    really fairly simple, don\'t like what i say,,don\'t read it.

  18. #78
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Ginger Factor

    Wolfe

    Give it up. The guy isn\'t going to listen to reason. He already knows all the answers. Give him the consideration he deserves. In other words, ignore him.

  19. #79
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    Default pheromones or internet stalking

    Ok i like to have the input of the women , its great for real life situations! But guys, why do we use pheromones? To give yourself that little andvantage in real life! I know i myself have an occasional little comment toward the ladies, but there are some guys who just wast forum space being some womans bitch? I mean we have genuine forum post stalkers,lol! Its like some guys are getting pussy whipped by the women of the forum! i know ladies its not your fault these guys have some serious issues! Come on guys focuse on what your goals really are! Good luck to all fellow forum users!

  20. #80
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    Default Re: pheromones or internet stalking

    It\'s been pointed out that I have \"quietly\" been editing my initial posts. Which is true. I corrected two typos and added the phrase \"a better writer\" to my compliment to Pet.

    If anyone cares besides my not-so-much-friend, I don\'t generally Mark As Edited when the edits do not change the substance of the post but are only typo corrections.

    If it\'s sneaky to go back and correct typos or touch up a phrase, how much more sneaky is it to hide behind a new name and make nasty remarks? A shame our new friend can\'t live up to the standards to which he holds me.

  21. #81
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    Default Re: The Ginger Factor

    i would like to point out-->\"related to the science of attraction\"<---now to me communications sure falls under that heading. If you can\'t figure out a persons body langauge you sure arn\'t gonna be \'attracted\" or vice-versa..plain and simple, this topic DOES belong here and no one, but no one, ever twisted my arm to read any thread on this forum. And that same thing applies to my comments, rather they be to side with either male or female, as i could give a damn less what any one thinks. I \'side\' with no one but myself and i WILL express my thoughts no matter what anyone thinks about them..

  22. #82
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    Default Re: The Ginger Factor

    WOW, I had to work this afternoon and had no access to the internet all day. I never expected this when I got home!

    I\'m not going to get into the discussion of it all as I\'ve had to read it all so quickly that I don\'t feel like I\'ve digested even 10% of what everybody has said.

    But, my only comment concerns the complaint about the appropriateness of this thread, and where it belongs. The thing is that a forum like this is what the members make of it, not what one or two people think it should be. I get frustrated when a member (Joshua in this case) trys to tell us exactly how the forum should be run, and the appropriate way to do it. The only person who has a right to do this is Bruce...and I would respect any guidelines he sets up because he\'s footing the bill for all this.. But, for the most part, this forum is the way it is now because the majority of the current active members have made it this way..

    If you don\'t like a particualr thread, then just simply don\'t read it. It\'s just that simple. But, I for one love to hear how women think... hey, I even hope to be married to one some day. And, I for one like as much input as I can get. I\'m sorry, but I\'m not so insecure as a man that I can\'t take a little constructive input from women, nor do I feel the need to lash out for hearing what they think. I may disagree at times...but then again, maybe I need to try to understand as well.

    But, I drift off topic. I do think that healthy debate is a good thing...and this thread accomplished that. But, my main point was basically if you don\'t like a thread, don\'t read it.

  23. #83
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    Default Re: The Ginger Factor *DELETED*

    Post deleted by FullTiltRedhead

  24. #84
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    Default Re: The Ginger Factor

    sigh [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/frown.gif[/img]

  25. #85
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    Default Re: The Ginger Factor

    I\'m sort of new at this site and I haven\'t noticed Joshua around before today. If I understand this thread correctly, Josh\'s issue is with the placement of the post...how could he, being a newcomer, know what is proper for this forum?


  26. #86
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    Default Re: The Ginger Factor

    it wasnt his issue with \'where\' it was placed that pissed me off, he was his attitude that just cause FTR didnt agree with him over it that it gave him the right to pass judgements on her lifestyle and call her names because of it, but you\'re also right in what you said,. not that he was new though, but only 1 person has the right to say what is right or not right to post somewhere and thats Bruce...period

  27. #87
    upsidedown
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    Default Re: The Ginger Factor

    Yes Lucky, that was basically my point in my previous post. I checked Josua\'s profile. He signed up today about half an hour before he made his first scathing post. I\'m sorry, but that irritates me. You worded it perfectly Lucky....\"how could he, being a newcomer, know what is proper for this forum?\"



  28. #88
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    Default Re: The Ginger Factor

    IMHO this was no newb but a new id made just to get on FTR\'s case for some reason. read fully what was said and you\'ll notice they refered to \'archives\'. now i cked when they were online as well..and NO way did they \'read archives\' in the time they were logged on as a \'new\' member.

  29. #89
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    Default Re: The Ginger Factor

    Well, obviously he is not a newcomer. Probably a lurker, probably someone else.

    Franki [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

  30. #90
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    Default Re: The Ginger Factor

    Yes, I was going to say. Many people lurk on here as an unregistered reader for a long time. They just never register and post anything. This person could have been reading old posts for months now as a unregistered person.

    I still think this person could be one of those long time lurkers, first time posters who just posted for the first time today. But, if not, then it\'s truly sad that a person feels the need to change their identity to come on and post like he did.

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