IF WOMEN RULED THE WORLD......AND THEY DO!!!!

[MOBLEYC57]

Men would be judged entirely by their looks, women by their accomplishments.

PMS would be a legitimate defense in court.

After a baby is born, men would take a six-week paternity leave to wait on their wives hand and foot.

Men who slept around would come with records, just like guys keep maintenance records on cars.

Singles bars would have metal detectors to weed out men hiding wedding rings in their pockets.

Fewer women would be dieting because their ideal weight standard would increase by 40 pounds.

Men would not be allowed to eat gas-producing foods within two hours of bedtime.

Men would be secretaries for female bosses, working twice as hard for none of the credit.

All toilet seats would be nailed down.

Men would have to get Playboy for the articles, because there would be no pictures.

Men would be required to learn phrases like \"I\'m sorry\", \"I love you\", \"You\'re beautiful\", \"Of course you don\'t look fat in that outfit\".

Overweight men would have their weight brought to their attention constantly.

Shopping would be considered an aerobic activity.

During mid-life crisis, men would get hot flashes and women would date 19-year-olds.

Men would get reputations for sleeping around.

Women with cold hands would give men prostate exams.

Annual swimsuit issues in major magazines would feature scantily clad male models.

Men would pay as much attention to their woman as to their car.

Little girls would read \"Snow White and the Seven Hunks.\"

Men would sit around and wonder what WE are thinking!

[Watcher]

Another good take.

Add to that

Men would have to openly cry and display one emotion per day.
Gay men would be considered as the ideal male lover - because PMS would be rammpart.
Men would have to double the number of words spoken per day.

[seadove]

And add to that

It will be fun for men to wear skirts for a while.
The man will be the last to be ready while going out.
I wonder what the woman will feel when he tells her\"Not tonight dear, I have a headache.\"

[Wolfe]

blah, she\'d just reach for the \'meat subsitute\' and load in fresh batteries.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

B.O.B. - given an adequate diet of double-A batteries, he\'s always there when you need him, never has a headache, never is too tired, never quits before you do ... but there\'s no substitute for the real thing, you guys know that. [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

[seadove]

\"Not tonight dear, I have a headache\" goes out then?

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Battery Operated Boyfriend never has a headache.

[seadove]

We men are the underdogs.
We never have anything battery operated.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

[img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif[/img] Then your local gadget store is understocked. Besides, I don\'t know what you\'re complaining about. You can have a hard on whenever you want one. Wish I could. [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif[/img]

[seadove]

Tee hee .But it doesn\'t come custom built.
You have to be inspired.

[Wolfe]

it doesn\'t last all night any more like it used to either [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/frown.gif[/img]

[MOBLEYC57]

\"I wonder what the woman will feel when he tells her\"Not tonight dear, I have a headache.\"

Dove/Ladies!! You\'ve got to be smooth about it! Here\'s what\'cha do! When you really want some...walk in the house, wait til she\'s/he\'a looking, and through her/him some aspirin. Should she/he make the mistake and say, \"What\'s this for, I don\'t have a headache.\" You\'re in!! And because you didn\'t walk in and ask for it, or (for men only, unless your hooded coward is at least 3 inches long, and if so...you\'ve got him!) a certain area of your pants is not sticking out near the zipper...you\'ve got her! [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] If you\'re pants is sticking out...just say, \"That\'s not a boner darling...I just used too much starch!\" [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/crazy.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif[/img]

[MOBLEYC57]

\"it doesn\'t last all night any more like it used to either\"

Come on Wolfe!! Use your brain!! [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] You can use the boxing strategy!!! Lick and Move! Lick and Move! [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif[/img] There\'s always more than one way to lick a chicken!! I meant skin a chicken!! [wink}

[Wolfe]

you should have made a note of my statement that \'\'i have no problems \'helping\' a lady play with her toys\'\' too ya know..lmao

[Watcher]

Would that statement hold up in a female dominated court of law.

[druid]

I was in the book store the other day and I read a few pages of a book called \"The myth of Male power\" and apprently PMS is a legimate court defense!

[Watcher]

I thouht so, and a1 can be used to negate PMS, so when the 5ml bottles come on line that will be my first purchase to avoid putting up with bitchy co-workers.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

PMS isn\'t funny. The more you joke about it, the more likely it becomes that in your next life you\'ll be a woman and have it. Really, really bad. So watch out.

If you ever had it, you\'d know why it\'s defensible.

Joking (a little) about the first part, but dead serious about the latter.

A1 works but it shuts my nose down completely in seconds so I can\'t breathe through my nose until I use a decongestant spray. Anyone else get this reaction?

[druid]

I don\'t believe that PMS should be a legimate court defense, because according to the constution any legal defense has to be gender neutral. And the author of the book I cited cases where it was used to justiy murder and in some cases to justify 1st degree murder. And if PMS is an influence that can justify murder then obviously it has effects on a woman\'s facilties, then should women who are under the influence of PMS be allowed to drive?? And since some women get it others do not and it is difficult to predict if and how severve a woman will be affected by it, should we ban women from driving all together?? And since we are on the subject of hormones, since men have roughly 10x the level of testostrone than women, and since test has been shown to increase violent tendicies and increases sexual drive should men be able to use this to justify violent crimes such as rape and murder??????

I think not.....

[**DONOTDELETE**]

OH, good, very good. Thinking things through, that\'s very good.

Ok, what about this. PMS is an illness with a variety of symptoms. What about a woman who has a mental disorder to begin with, which is exacerbated by PMS? Couldn\'t that fall under the category of protection of the mentally ill? I haven\'t read the cases, but I believe that PMS was a factor, and not the entire defense.

What is the chromosomal anomaly that some men have, an extra chromosome that inclines them toward violence? I\'m sure a good attorney could make a case for a testosterone surge being a factor in a murder case.

Where does it say in the constitution that any legal defense has to be gender neutral? (I\'m not saying it doesn\'t; just that I am not familiar with that language.)

[druid]

well according to the author of the book the ammendents dealing with disrcimation and equal rights is why a defense has to be gender neutral.

Well a woman who has a mental disease that is amplfied by the PMS should have a speacial defense (she does have a mental disease).

I don\'t think test surges should be used to justify crimes just like I don\'t think PMS should be used to justofy crimes. Yes I agree with you that a lawyer could turn that around (I mean Cochran got OJ off for god sake). Yes we, both male and female, are strongly influenced by our hormones but we are still humans with self control and free will.