Success... but need advice

[Shoe]

Been having good success with DD Lite..... tonight I had a first date with a \"perfect 10\" who I\'ve been pursuing for a little while now. It went very well, in light of my goal for a long term relationship.

But I could use some advice from those of you who have been \"around the block\" as far as relationships are concerned. I am soooo new to this... in fact this was my first date ever. This girl has all three qualities that I have always been deeply attracted to (and until now admired from afar). First she is a \"people\" person, non-exclusive and friendly to everyone. Second she knows how to have fun. Third she has an incredible sense of style. So going into this date I\'m thinking this is great, this is the type of person I could spend the rest of my life with. The thing is, after we began interacting, I just wasn\'t feeling that deep attraction I felt in our previous brief encounters. Later I realize that it\'s because these three things are the cornerstones in my own personality... we were so much \"on the same page\" it really stole my thunder.... it was like talking to myself. These things that I value so deeply didn\'t seem exciting anymore.

I also have a casual friend who couldn\'t care less about these things... but interacting with her I feel so alive and so much like myself.

So maybe I\'ve been confused this whole time about what I really want.... obviously it\'s just a first date but does anyone think things could get more exciting in the future? Frankly I was kind of bored [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

[DrSmellThis]

Successful relationships are part similarities and part complimentary opposites.

You\'re 21, and still refining your relationship skills, so I wouldn\'t sweat it. Also I think it can be self-defeating to try to evaluate long term potential so early. Habitually doing so can sabotage relationships, and squeeze the fun out. Having fun is a useful strategy, as odds are poor for any one date or girlfriend becoming a life partner. But you know for sure you\'ll either have fun or not. Can you have fun with her? Does she smell good? If yes/yes, then you have a positive person to hang with. But you have to be clear about what you want and don\'t want. If it doesn\'t click, why waste time?

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I like that:
\"Can you have fun with her? Does she smell good?\"
lol

[Wolfe]

trust me.any guy claiming to understand it is so full of it they could smell him in china.
so the end result is, you\'ll never figure it out, go with what feels right.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

They say \"opposites attract\" for a reason.

go with the one that makes you laugh and that you feel most comfortable around just being together.

[tounge]

This was your first date ever? Sounds like you had this chick on a pedestal. And when she came down to meet you, she was human, like everybody else you know. Get out and socialize with more women. Go out with as many as you can. Learn to make yourself the catch, and to create an attraction of yourself. Also, sounds like personality is going to be more important to you than looks. Use that to your advantage.

[Shoe]

Thanks DrSmellThis and tongue..... I can\'t take the one date so seriously [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

[Watcher]

Ok sounds like you got good advice tongue get out socialise with more women, the % chance of this being the first date/life partner in REALITY are of course 0.0005% according to offical statistics, and women these days just dont go for oen partner over a lifetime (maybe 50 years ago when male support was important)

[Watcher]

But now they are financial independant and educated and every other feminsts point. so they test the water with many men before settling down and now the same for men except we biologically are more suited to finding a partner and settling down staright away except women dotn want this, in turn this stresses men out having to constantly chase and then lose women hence the increase in aggression and violence.

[drchaos]

Wow, you\'re overanalyzing it way too much. Yeah it was your FirstDate, but for her, she was just chilling out with some guy.

Here\'s what you need to do: stop obsessing. Go get some nice shoes. I\'m serious, and no I\'m not gay. Women really notice a guy\'s shoes. Maybe you know this already. But I didn\'t when I was 21. ANd you say she has a great sense of \"style\". Suffice it to say that a woman\'s choice of \"style\" definitely extends to the guy that she will be seen with.

I had totally dorkwad shoes (as in like wearing sneakers almost every day) for way too long.

By the wya, what you are feeling is exactly what guys complain about when they say women are fickle. And you\'re the woman.

[Lucky]

Shoe,
Long term??? Go for physical chemistry and the one that makes you laugh.

How did you manage to get to 21 with no dates? Seriously...are you picky, bored, happy with a group? That might help to answer your question.