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  1. #1
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    Default THOSE 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS!!!

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    The 12 days of Christmas

    14th December

    My Dearest Darling John,

    I went to the door today and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree. He is quite a strang bird and ate all the pears already, but what a delightful gift. Thank you darling for the lovely thought.

    Your ever loving, Agnes.


    15th December

    My Dearest John,

    Today the postman brought two very sweet turtle doves. I am delighted. They are adorable.

    All my love forever, Agnes.


    16th December

    Dearest John,

    Oh how extravagant you are. I really must protest. I don\'t deserve such generosity. Three French hens. I insist you are too kind.

    Your ever loving, Agnes.


    17th December

    What can I say. Four calling birds arrived this morning with the postman.

    Your kindness is too much.

    Love Agnes.


    18th December

    My Dearest John,

    What a surprise! Today the postman delivered five gold rings. One for each finger. You really are an impossible boy, but I love you. Frankly, all the birds are beginning to squawk and get on my nerves.

    Your ever loving Agnes.


    19th December

    Dear John,

    When I opened the door this morning there were actually six great geese laying eggs all over my front step. What on earth do you think I can do with them all? The neighbors are beginning to smell them, they look mean, and I cannot sleep. Please stop.

    Yours, Agnes.


    20th December

    John,

    What is it with you and these sodding birds? Now I get seven swans a swimming. Is it some sort of sick joke? We don\'t even have a pool! The house is full of bird mess and it is not funny anymore. Stop sending freaking birds.

    Yours, Agnes.


    21st December

    OK Buster,

    I think I prefer the birds. What the heck am I going to do with eight maids a milking? It\'s enough with all these birds. Now I have a cow messing all over the house and mooing all night with eight maids chasing him everywhere to milk him...

    Lay off, Agnes.


    22nd December

    Look Pest,

    What are you, some kind of a nut? Now I have nine pipers playing and boy do they play. When they\'re not playing their sorry pipes they are messing with the maids. The cows are treading all over the freaking birds and the neighbors are threatening to get me evicted.

    Get knotted, Agnes.


    23rd December

    You Rotten Birdbrain,

    Now I have ten ladies dancing. How on earth you can call these tramps \"ladies\" is beyond me. They are messing with the pipers all night long, the cows can\'t sleep and have diarrhea. My living room is a sea of mess and the landlord has just declared the building unfit for human habitation.

    Get Lost, Agnes.


    24th December

    Listen Butthead,

    What with eleven lords leaping all over the maids and me, I shall never be able to face my neighbors again. The pipers are fighting the lords for the crumpet and committing weird acts with the cows. The birds are all dead and rotting having been trampled on. I hope you are satisfied you *&$)*&*.

    Your sworn enemy, Agnes.


    25th December

    You Stinking Lousy *&%(*%$,

    Twelve drummers have teamed up with the pipers in making one heck of a din. Both have begun buggering the lords as well as the cows and Lord knows what has happened to the milk-maids. They\'ve probably drowned in the cow and bird mess by now. The only way I have saved myself from being trampled to death is by hiding up that blasted pear tree which has been so well fertilized by cow and bird mess that it\'s grown through the roof.

    PLEASE NO MORE! JUST DIE, Agnes.


    HOPE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU MONE ADDICTS HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY & SAFE CHRISTMAS!!! AND FOR YOU PERVERTS....DON\'T USE THE MONES AROUND RUDOLPH!!!! THE KIDS NEED THEIR TOYS!!!![img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif[/img] TATER!!!!

  2. #2
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    Default Re: THOSE 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS!!!

    lol
    How lucky I am a jew.
    We only have 10.

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