women and the rings they wear

[proteus]

I have a question about ring placement on women\'s fingers and wondered if anyone has input on this. I\'m one of those men who\'s very aware whether a lady is wearing a ring or not, which finger she is wearing it on etc. So, for example, I will back off/not approach a lady if she has a ring on the left ring finger as I assume logically that she is either married/engaged/has a committed relationship.

But then lately I\'ve been coming across women who wear a ring on the left ring finger and yet whether they are \"attached\" or not is very ambiguous as oftentimes their behavior does not correspond to such status.

And then even more confusing are those women who wear a ring on the right finger equivalent of the left ring finger, and again I used to assume this meant she had a bf, now one of my female friends said not necessarily, and it can mean different things.

Then I also see these women (who tend to be the very aggressive/sexually liberated types who wear rings on their thumbs or index finger or wherever) but nowhere else, and figured maybe this signifies availability, no attachments etc. but again I\'m told not necessarily so.

So I figured there had to be some rationale behind all of these ring placements. I know sometimes it\'s just a matter of wearing jewelry and nothing more than that, but I also know that sometimes there is significance to this, so if it wouldn\'t be any trouble could someone enlighten me on this topic, including why a woman would wear a ring on the left ring finger and yet behave as though she\'s single etc.

I figure if there are signals involved in this I\'d like to understand them as it saves a lot of trouble for all. I just began dating this lady a week or so ago, and she always wore a ring on her right ring finger even before we began dating, and I almost didn\'t ask her out because I figured she had a bf, but figured what the heck and asked her out, and turns out she was single so this was a case where if I\'d gone with my assumption we would not be seeing each other. Anyhow, would appreciate any info on this especially from women since y\'all would understand this better.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

A diamond on the left hand ring finger means she\'s engaged.

Anything other than that has no meaning that I\'m aware of.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

FTR - I know women who wear (cheapo) diamond (read: crystal) rings on their \"married finger\" on occasion to ward away men. It\'s a cheap trick, but I guess it works if a woman doesn\'t want to be bothered. Until she forgets that she\'s wearing it... [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

[proteus]

Thanks FTR. Your answer is very interesting when you say that only the left hand finger with a diamond has meaning i.e. engaged. Reason why I think it\'s very interesting is I know one or two of my buddies (player types) play with ring placements coz they say if they wear a ring on right ring finger, for some reason they are more successful with women coz women figure they have a gf hence it means someone finds them desirable/attractive and now these ladies interest in them rises and they swear it works. And it is possibly true as I did this once, and one of my female friends in college asked me why I was wearing a ring/was it coz I had a gf.

So I wonder from your answer whether one could also infer that for women, the only ring that has significance to them is when they get the diamond engagement ring, and so everything else is just part of the dating game to throw guys off as I do know some ladies I know have said they also do the same, wear a ring on right finger to either indicate they have a bf or to make it appear so, hence increase their perceived desirability.

Anyhow, your answer helps a great deal coz henceforth I will only pay attention to a ring on the left finger and consider anything else to be ignored. Thanks!!!

[proteus]

This is exactly the kind of thing that confuses me, as I\'ve seen women who I know are not married, perhaps they are engaged, but they don\'t \"behave\" as they though are so glad to hear I\'m not the only person who\'s come across this.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Take your cue from the behavior and not from jewelry. If you like her and she\'s seeming to like you back, go with it -- if your scruples would keep you from having to do with a woman who\'s engaged, then ask her if she\'s in a monogamous relationship and if her ring means she\'s engaged before things get beyond light flirtation. I love rings, own several, and usually wear them on my left ring finger just because I got used to wearing a ring on that finger during all the time I was married, so it feels comfortable to wear a ring there. Means nothing except that occasionally I like to wear a ring.

[EXIT63]

Wow...More games to play...Sounds like fun!

[CJ01]

I´ve tried the ring trick myself. It´s not a bad form of `self-defence´. Unfortunately some men have no respect of whether or not a woman is in a relationship or not. Ring or no ring. CJ

[franki]

Married (or engaged) women are also looking for one-night-stands. [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif[/img] The fact that she is married maybe makes her more desirable for some men.

[CJ01]

Proteus it is almost impossible to figure out a womans `love status´ from the jewelery. And the younger they are the more difficult. When I was still at school we all wore loads of that stuff, bracelets, rings..even the guys.
Well my point is that a lot of women wear more than one ring. If she´s older and more conservative maybe there´ll be less.
People just wear rings for different reasons. Sentimental, friendship, maybe they´re inherited a ring from a close relative or they just like it for it´s own sake ...

Here´s something even more confusing: Some people including women don´t wear their wedding ring at all, and in some countries/cultures engagement and wedding rings are worn on different hands.
Even more complicated right. CJ

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Just to muddy the waters even further...I\'ve kind of been wondering about this...the gay women I know wear silver rings on every finger and lots of them also have multiple ear piercings. Is this coincidence?

[proteus]

Thanks for your feedback on this FTR and CJ - it helps to hear what you ladies have to say on this subject as it\'s very confusing hence my question, although to be honest I\'m even more confused now in a way than before :-) .

You see, I feel it\'s important to respect the commitment someone has made to another person, which is why I pay attention to the rings. But then if a woman is in fact using them to fend off approaches as you said you sometimes do CJ, or wears a ring on the left ring finger just because you like too, as you said you do FTR then it becomes complicated.

I guess what you said is the best advice FTR which is to just to look at her behavior, but problem is I\'ve done this once hoping the ring meant nothing because of the way she behaved, found out she had a husband, kids etc. and it was awkward as I don\'t go for this kind of stuff so told her so and she was confused as she said she thought I knew that she was married and that she was just looking for a fling so it hurt her feelings when I no longer wanted to see her, but the idea of participating in someone betraying their marriage partner goes against my morals as I wouldn\'t like this to be done to me so wouldn\'t do this to someone else. anyway, thanks again!

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Just ask them outright in the early stages of the conversation. \"You\'re wearing a ring - does that mean you\'re married/have a boyfriend, etc.\" and you should be ok.

[CJ01]

Hmm I dunno mate, I get pissed off when men do that.

Doesn´t help Proteus right. Every woman has her own opinion. That´s why I always try to get guys to see that there´s no such thing as women like this but don´t like that etc. Hehe.

About the her being married thing... I used to feel the same way as you. But now..I reckon that maybe their spouse is possibly cheating on them too or they don´t mind each other having the odd fling or their sex just sucks ... geddit. Still nice of you though.
Generally speaking though, it makes no difference to me whether someones married or not. If they´re in a relationship, it means committment, ring and paper or not. It should be respected. CJ

[CJ01]

Those gay women FTR...maybe they´ve just got sooooo many girlfriends. Lucky them. What type of women are those particular ones you know.

I also know straight women who looke like that btw. One of my best friends at college for instance.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Legal secretaries who describe themselves as \"dykes.\"

[CJ01]

So legal dykes who can type. That doesn´t sound like the butch type to me. Does that include your own sec. [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] Are they good looking at least. Oh well the way someone looks at work and the way people dress and behave privately is not necessarily the same I guess.
Could also be just a local dyke trend couldn´t it.

[proteus]

CJ wrote: <<<<<<<Generally speaking though, it makes no difference to me whether someones married or not. If they´re in a relationship, it means committment, ring and paper or not. It should be respected. CJ <<<<<End quote>>>>>>>

Well, I agree with much of what you said, but I have more respect for the relationship if the woman is married than if she just has a bf. The way I see it, until he marries her, I have as much right to attempt to date her as he does to go out with her. Why should I respect that he has a commitment to her if he hasn\'t fully expressed that by marrying her? And the other thing is for the most part, it\'s very rare that you find a woman who is single in the true sense of the word.

Most single women I know say they are \"dating\" a couple of guys, but not committed too anyone just yet and \"just having fun\", so if you wait until they are single well, only result you\'ll get is an invitation to her wedding someday. So to me, unless she is married I will attempt to seduce her if I\'m attracted to her, but if she\'s married I would never try anything as that is where I draw my line.

[frenchie]

here in Paris... yes, some girls wear a lot of silver rings (on almost every finger), which may just mean they are gay.
I have 2 piercings on the right ear - but a lot of people, men or women, have piercings (even guys have 1 piercing on 1 ear, whether they are gay or hetero - I suppose it\'s a way to show women they are not the alpha, dominant, type).
But several people told me that wearing a piercing on the left ear is a sign of being gay. A tattoo on the left shoulder may be a sign too.

But I think it\'s very hard to guess who is who, and who is involved in a monogamous relationship or not. I must say I\'m lost.
Maybe the only real sign is wearing a ring on the left hand, meaning : I don\'t want to be bothered.

What about the rings men wear - or don\'t wear ?
Frenchie

[MaxiMog]

I\'ve always been told and see that a piercing in a man\'s RIGHT ear is a sign of him being gay. The left isn\'t supposed to give any signal about your sexuality. Can anyone please confirm this? Should I get an ear piercing (who knows? Maybe a little sud in an ear lobe) I want to get it in the right (read: correct!!!!!) ear, being the left ear.

[EXIT63]

That was true at one time I believe. But it doesn\'t really apply anymore...imo.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

That\'s what I heard too. Used to be, if a guy had a stud in the right ear>>>Gay. Left ear>>>Straight.

But nowadays, I\'ve seen men with earrings in both ears, which IMO is weird. Makes \'em look like girls. Also, now, a single earring or stud in one ear(either ear) >>>part of the look,stylin\', nothing more.

Tom

[**DONOTDELETE**]

guys with both ears pierced and hoop earrings -- makes them look like Mr. Clean...