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Thread: I have a date

  1. #1
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    Default I have a date

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    I talked to a female friend today about my love interest (read emotional train-wreck girl). Anyways somehow talking to a real live woman about it makes more sense than jabbering on about it with my forum family. No offense. [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/tongue.gif[/img]
    Now she said: \"call her and say I WANT to take YOU out to dinner\" don\'t ask \"can I\", or say \"maybe\", or hesitate. Well I did that and she was verrry accepting. Couldn\'t seem to put her thoughts together. She accepted and was clearly very excited. I said \"I\'m picking you up at 8:00\" and she replied with OK, \"I get home at five so if you want to pick me up earlier, or if you want to call me when you\'re ready, or just call me any time, , or you can come by earlier if you want, or you can call me and then come by because I\'ll be bored until you come, or call me when you\'re free and then....\" it carried on like that for a while but you get the point. hmmm - you people must think I\'m completely bonkers by now. Anyways - I wanted to share so.... there it is.

    I\'m thinking it will be a good cool-scent night. low level phero\'s and a nice fresh scent to boot. [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

    PS - My fem friend also told me why we (men) can\'t understand women. But I promised to keep it a secret [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif[/img]

  2. #2
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    Default Re: I have a date

    god told me with a big booming voice from the sky what the secret to life is and the winning numbers for next week were for every state lottery but I am keeping it a secret.

    see how it feels? tell US!!!!

  3. #3
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    Default Re: I have a date

    HEHEHHEH I was waiting for it - 2 views 1 reply.
    OK here is the \"big secret\" she told me.
    Women don\'t know what the hell they want 99% of the time. They think they do one minute, but change their mind 20 mins later. \"\"\"\" We can\'t figure them out because they can\'t figure themselves out. If a girl likes a guy one minute and is head over heels. 20 minutes later she\'s maybe not so sure he\'s really that great. the next day he\'s the king [censored]. And then by sundown on day two he is prince charming again. All we as men need to know is women are crazy and we have to let them be that way. \"\"\"\" I put that in quadruple quotes because it is taken that way from my fem. friend. Who by the way gave a little hint that she\'s enjoying the fact that I never kissed her (in a flirtatious way) she made it sound like she thinks I\'m keeping her guessing... never saw it that way but I guess the pheros got to her. [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]
    Sorry to all the women on the forum - but I had to let your secret out. Now we as men can rest assured that it\'s a simple case of \"women are crazy\" LOL [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif[/img]

  4. #4
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    Default Re: I have a date

    well, not crazy, we just have the right to change our minds as often as we want !!!!

    your friend is right though, IMO. I\'m not sorry the secret is out, I think the sooner men know this and accept it, life is better for all [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif[/img]

  5. #5
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    Default Re: I have a date

    LOL! Good one. lmao.

    - Krish

  6. #6
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    Default Re: I have a date

    So we know the problem now. So whats the solution?

    - Krish

  7. #7
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    Default Re: I have a date

    congrats guy, and just remember to maintain that attitude - your female friend gives very good advice!!!

  8. #8
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    Default Re: I have a date

    It\'s amusing and frustrating to read this stuff. This girl is crazy about you. Two things make it clear to me: 1) she cooked you dinner, 2) she lost her mind completely when you got manly and asked her for a date. Her reaction cracks me up.


    Ladies, you tell me if I\'m wrong, maybe this is just me - there\'s almost nothing more anxiety producing than cooking dinner for a guy and you don\'t even undertake it unless he\'s REALLY special. Just the thought of it makes my stomach clutch.


    She blew her cool completely when you asked her out -- I bet five minutes after she got off the phone with you, she was on the phone to a girlfriend ,moaning about the stuff she said, all of which meant \"I\'m so excited, can\'t WAIT!\" It makes me laugh - she sounds very young - you don\'t say that stuff out loud. You took her so by surprise she blew her cool.


    The strength of her reaction to your asking her on a real date should tell you something. She wants to be courted. She wants real dates where you call and ask her out and come pick her up and take her someplace nice. She has you cast in the role of Prince Charming and I don\'t think she\'s gonna fall into line until you play it out for her. I think she has stars in her eyes over you. I think she likes you so much that if she had sex with you and then wasn\'t respected in the morning, it would be so devastating that the fear of that is what\'s keeping her from going any further.


    I think if you can do the romantic gentleman thing by the book for a little while, and let her know in words, looking into her eyes, being very convincing, that you really, really like her, you should be home free.


    Send flowers in the morning. Even just one rose. Call the next day after the date to tell her how much you enjoyed being with her. She\'ll go into orbit. [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]


    This should really be a piece of cake, if it is what it looks like it is. Just be aware you\'ve been cast in a role, and play it out. Easy, \'cause the script\'s already there.


    I think this is why we appear to hate you one day and love you the next. We want you to make us feel a certain way so we can be comfortable having sex with you (we like it as much as you do). To the extent you make us feel that way and do the things we need done to increase our comfort, we love you. To the extent we signal frantically what we want, and don\'t get it, we hate you.


    Don\'t write back and tell me that didn\'t make sense. Makes perfect sense to me.


    But then, I\'m female... lol

  9. #9
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    Default Re: I have a date

    Good god, im trying to keep them away at the moment - the more i try (really trying to get my university course finished, studying hard and focusing on myself and being selfish beyond no belief. Yet the more a man tries the more i get the yappy flirting women out in the outer the more they keep trying, im enjoying the single life the only consolation is the fact women like to be asked out and when i play dumb and ignore it then they get upset oh well im happy women dont ask me out and at the moment things are good, i dont have to brush them off

    Lots of stuffing around saved all round.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: I have a date

    RscuRngr, it just occurred to me it might help if you could get ahold of a copy of something like \"The Rules.\" I think that\'s the title of the book - a couple of women put out this book about the rules for hooking a guy -- maybe you could get a handle on what this girl is expecting. You\'d do better with an etiquette book like Emily Post or The Rules than with the advice written by guys. Especially the awful bull they write about wait 10 days to call, etc. Call the next day to tell her how much you enjoyed the date. That\'s old school proper etiquette.Is ETWG a military brat, by any chance? An officer\'s daughter?The good thing is that it appears somewhere in all the confusion you two agree on one thing: it\'s serious. [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

  11. #11
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    Default Re: I have a date

    I remember my sister got a copy of The Rules once - we were laughing because it seemed so outdated. Things along the lines of wear a petticoat under your skirt....
    She\'s not a brat, but she is an only child. She\'s definately used to getting her way. It is sophomoric behavior for a 24 yo woman, but I think it\'s fun to find someone who finally shows interest when I thought all was lost. I\'m still amazed at the subtle difference between \"I want to take you out\" and \"If you\'re free this weekend would you like to go out\" this is something I overlooked for far too long. This will be an interesting evening - I\'ll tell you all about it in the morning.

  12. #12
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    Default Re: I have a date

    My dad was an officer in the Navy so I grew up on bases with other military dependents. There are lots of protocols, and, at least when I was growing up, the boys were indoctrinated with some pretty formal rules about how to conduct themselves with women, which \"civilian\" guys don\'t seem to know a thing about. For example, that the man should always walk on the street side and have you walk on the inside of the sidewalk. To this day it feels funny to me to walk with a guy and not have him stay on the street side. I was hoping maybe her dad was in the service and she was used to a certain kind of behavior.

    Oh, well.

    Yeah, \"I want to take you out\" beats hell out of \"if you\'re free...\" [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] Good luck, can\'t wait to hear about it.

  13. #13
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    Default Re: I have a date

    \"Good god, im trying to keep them away at the moment\"

    Good god, I wish I had such problems. [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/tongue.gif[/img]

  14. #14
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    Default Re: I have a date

    In s. america and the caribbean if a man lets his woman walk on the street-side of the side walk it is considered a pimp offering a prostitute. I was taught that by a venezuelan woman - she insisted on walking on the in-side - I could definately understand when she explained why!

  15. #15
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    Default Re: I have a date

    Man, if this chick is a \"Rules\" girl, bail NOW!!! You will be miserable if you don\'t.

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    Default Playing \"Follow the Leader\"

    The point about women not knowing what they want is dead on. Sometimes they think they do - for a while. Most women recognize this about themselves and either go with it or get anxious about it.

    What women are looking for from men, I find, is leadership. That\'s a mixture of foresight, confidence, competence, and will. You, as a man, need to know what you want and how you\'re going to get it. Once you\'re square with yourself, then women tend to tag along and WANT to be your follower.

    I hate to bring up an unpleasant historical fact, but during the 1930\'s both Hitler and Mussolini were considered extremely sexy men by large numbers of women. Obviously, being a world figure bent on world domination is the acme of ambition and is not a role many of us are comfortable with, but there is a lesson for us there. Mussolini would know what time to pick up his date and where they were going to go for dinner.

    The answer is to be clear with yourself then let women compete to be your follower. Women have a range of behaviors too. At one end is the complete submissive, the ones that like rough rule and a strong hand. At the other are women who will challenge you, think for themselves, and need a minimum of guidence. Some women will be one in the bedroom and the other in the parlor. There is also a confused group that want to dominate their men but are unhappy if they succeed.

  17. #17
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    Default Re: Playing \"Follow the Leader\"

    Whitehall, such a good post. I\'m so glad to hear someone address the d/s aspects, especially.

  18. #18
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    Default Re: Playing \"Follow the Leader\"

    I was thinking of wearing half of an SoE gel-pack on the wrists/arms, and a spray of cool scent on the neck for my rendezvous .... hmmm any eyedeers?

  19. #19
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    Default Re: Playing \"Follow the Leader\"

    went with that + 1 drop AE in my hair gel.... will report back with the results.
    Out the door with my fingers crossed [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif[/img]

  20. #20
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    Default Re: Playing \"Follow the Leader\"

    Date bombed. Game over. Not fun anymore so I\'m not playing with her again.

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    Default Re: Playing \"Follow the Leader\"

    Wow , I feel sorry for ya.
    You now have the chance to move on with your life. [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

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    Default Re: Playing \"Follow the Leader\"

    That sucks, babe. I\'m so sorry to hear it. It\'s her loss.

  23. #23
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    Default Re: Playing \"Follow the Leader\"

    Yeah man, I feel your pain. It\'s her loss though. If it makes you feel any better, I had some courage built up today (amazingly.) and tried asking one of my friends out and she said she didn\'t like me that way and just wanted to be good friends with me. *sighs* Oh well, there\'s my que for this year anyway.

    - Krish

  24. #24
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    Default Re: Playing \"Follow the Leader\"

    I tried to slip my collar and be bad tonight, too. Invited this guy over who answered a personal ad, we\'d been IM-ing for a couple of says. He brought over a movie and after we got settled down to watch it, I packed a bowl with the crumbs I have left. Two hits and he was literally a mouth-breathing dummy the rest of the night. When the movie was over, I went to the rest room. Came out and he\'s watching The Weather Channel, slouched down on the couch, mouth hangin open, eyes glued to the set. I kicked him out and came here. The company\'s better.Another cozy night, just me and b.o.b.(battery operated boyfriend). --- b.o.b. says \"hi\" to Rosie, by the way lol

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    Default Re: Playing \"Follow the Leader\"

    I\'m really sorry to hear that FTR. What an idiot he is, he lost himself a great woman! You deserve better than that. :\\ If I ever get lucky enough someday to get myself a date, the girl I\'m with would never see my attention just drift away like that. I\'d be all into her and interested to know more about her. Well anyways, good night FTR.

    - Krish

  26. #26
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    Default Re: Playing \"Follow the Leader\"

    You\'ll have dates and they\'ll be lovely. If you weren\'t quite so young, I\'d be hitting on you myself.

    \'night, Krish, thanks for the kind words.

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    Default Re: Playing \"Follow the Leader\"

    After thinking about it I\'m glad the date bombed. I got \"over it\" altogether, whereas before I was clinging for a shred of hope. At least now it\'s over and done with. And if she can\'t appreciate me showing up for a date with my shirt ironed (first time I\'ve ironed in 3 years) and flowers in hand then she doesn\'t deserve my company.

    FTR - I don\'t puff-puff anymore, so if a woman gave me a bowl I\'d be a mouth-breathing idiot too... if for some reason I decided to accept.

  28. #28
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    Default Re: Playing \"Follow the Leader\"

    Yeah, I have to agree that if she doesen\'t appreciate that, she isn\'t worth your time. I have a question, and it\'s gonna be a stupid one, but oh well, but what are you talking about when you say the word \"bowl\" ? I don\'t understand that.

    - Krish

  29. #29
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    Default Re: Playing \"Follow the Leader\"

    how old are you again KRTEL? been to college yet? When you know the meaning of kind, crumbs, schwag, bowl, and diggity, you\'ll know what we\'re talking about - or PM me for a direct explanation.

  30. #30
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    Default Re: Playing \"Follow the Leader\"

    I hear ya RR. We talked about it beforehand and he said he liked that and would like to.It\'s not just that. This guy was like standing in front of a mirror. If I moved, he moved. If I laughed at the movie, he laughed at the movie. If I lit a cigarette, he lit a cigarette. If I didn\'t move, he didn\'t move. I had indications that he might be a \"follower\" type but thought I\'d give him the benefit of the doubt as he also seemed nice and down to earth, friendly and open. But my personality can\'t be happy with a guy like that. I wanted some action tonight and I\'m sure if I\'d reached over, took off his glasses, took his face in my hands and kissed him, I would have had it, but it\'s not worth it to me if I have to make the first move. I made a lot of signals and gave lots of opportunities. He scooted slightly closer to me on the couch and that was it. That\'s not an aggressive enough guy for me; it would just never work. I want somebody I don\'t have to try to change to be happy with. This was a passive, submissive kind of guy. Not my match. Or maybe he just didn\'t like me. But that\'s not the feeling I got. He was mesmerized by my chest and his eyes followed me everywhere whenever I got up and moved around. [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] RR, I pm-ed Krish.

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