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  1. #1
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    Default Christmas is coming closer

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    The whole year long I don\'t mind that I am not in a (long-term) relationship, but when Christmas comes along I get that uncomfortable feeling. You know the days are getting shorter, it\'s getting colder outside, everyone wants to be around their loved ones etc. That\'s the time when I (and most people) need a little bit more affection. So around this time of the year I feel hurried to hook up with some girl. I don\'t like that kind of pressure.

    Anyone else here who is afraid of this time of the year, especially Christmas ??

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Christmas is coming closer

    Me.

    I go up to Cape Cod where my mother and stepfather live, and visit my mother and step family. Most everyone\'s paired up. My parents are extremely affectionate with each other. Sometimes I feel so lonely I just want to tie a jingle bell around my neck, step outside and slit my throat. [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] ho ho ho

    One thing that takes my mind off of it and gives me a way to express affection is participating in charitable endeavors. Salvation Army and homeless shelters, etc. Do you have any opportunities like that available? For example, at my work we can each choose one family from a list of needy families to buy Christmas presents for. We\'re given the ages of the people and their sizes and preferences. It is so heartwarming and feels so loving to buy children\'s gifts and things for their parents, too, selecting the wrapping paper, wishing them better fortune in the coming year, knowing by your efforts they\'ll at least have some Christmas joy.

    It\'s not as good as having one special someone to love but at the same time, you realize there ARE people out there who need and are happy to receive your love/loving gestures.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Christmas is coming closer

    I usually get pretty depressed around christmas. I haven\'t been home for the holidays in 5 years. I haven\'t had a steady girl for the same amount of time. I have a pretty lonely existence to begin with, but this time of year really makes it bad. My family exchanges gifts with the help of Fed-Ex, it\'s not the same though when you open them by yourself on christmas morning. Oh well. Suck it up and move on, someday I\'ll have a nice family gathering around for christmas.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Christmas is coming closer

    Someone did write to me awhile back and suggested that the holiday season is the very best time to hook up, because many people get the Christmas blues -- so the available men and women would be more approachable. Maybe it\'s worth putting those \'mones on and making an extra effort to find ourselves a snuggle bunny for the cold weather season.


  5. #5
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    Default Re: Christmas is coming closer

    Maybe that is true! I am gonna keep that in the back of my mind. [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

  6. #6
    Phero Pharaoh
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    Default Re: Christmas is coming closer

    Yeah I know how you feel. I feel like that everyday, but it gets really worse around Christmas. I don\'t really have anyone. *sighs* Oh well, someday....

    - Krish

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Christmas is coming closer

    If it makes anyone feel any better, being in a LTR doesn\'t always help much either. For a few years after my mom died I felt very despondent (sp?) at every holiday, and Christmas was the absolute worst. I would try to just count my blessings but I still felt depressed and missed Mom a lot at holidays. I have lived far from \"home\" for years, and we rarely got to spend any holidays together during those years.

    One year I did try to volunteer to be soup kitchen/charity help at the holidays but would you believe....they already had too many volunteers and I wasn\'t needed?!?! that just made me more depressed. It\'s a good idea though; it would\'ve made me feel better to get past my own dark thoughts.

    I\'m better now with all this but I still feel blue during holidays.

  8. #8
    Phero Pharaoh a.k.a.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Christmas is coming closer

    My ex-wife was into all sorts of, baking and decorating and entertaining. So, even if I have a girlfriend, I walk around feeling some kind of emptiness.

    Even under the best circumstances, it’s always stressful. There’s just too much to do and not enough time to do it. (Not to mention the nightmare of everybody hitting the airports at once.)

    I could also do without the mass consumerism and gaudy light shows.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Christmas is coming closer

    (Sigh) I know what you mean. It really hasn\'t bothered me all that much until about a few years ago. New Year\'s has been just as bad as Valentine\'s Day for me [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/frown.gif[/img] . . . well actually there was that one incredible Valentine\'s that just came together without hardly any effort or planning at all.

    About two years ago, even when I started to make plans very early (8-9 months early) to not be alone on New Year\'s Eve, everything that could possibly go wrong, did go wrong. I ended up staying at home alone dealing with the pain of the death of a family member, a friend/date (unlucky #13th person that agreed to go) ending up in the hospital, and having the person whom you were deeply in love with completely crush your heart that night.

    Still stings a bit, but you gotta move on. I\'m just hoping that I\'ll have fun at this Swing dance camp that I\'m headed to around Christmas and New Years and kick this New Year\'s jinx that I have had for these past few years.

    My advice to all of you is not to succumb to the pressure of desperately trying to find that \"special\" someone. Relax and enjoy the holiday season with the friends and family that you have. Who knows you just might just bump into that \"special\" someone.

    Now to increase those odds, don\'t forget to wear your favorite pheromones [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif[/img] . Oh, and don\'t forget the mistletoe! [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif[/img]

  10. #10
    PheroWizard oscar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Christmas is coming closer

    SwingDoc,

    Thanks for reminding me! Wonderful stuff, mistletoe!
    I like to use it where it does the most good.
    Hence, my own invention, the Mistletoe Belt Buckle! [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif[/img]
    www.kissunderthis.com

    Oscar [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

  11. #11
    Administrator Bruce's Avatar
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    Default Re: Christmas is coming closer

    This will be my first Christmas in the US in forteen years. I celebrated 9 or so in Japan, 2 in Taiwan and 1 each in India and Thailand. I think we boarded an evening flight from Tokyo to Bangkok on Christmas eve for the last one. So, whatever you\'re supposed to feel whether good or bad has pretty much lost its edge for us. The last few years we have had at least one kid waiting for Santa\'s arrival; I guess that gives you some sense of focus for the holidays. Not sure what to expect this year. As always, best just to keep an open mind and heart. I guess we\'ll get into decorating the tree etc etc. My wife will be into that I reckon. She and the kids went nuts with pumpkins and costumes for Halloween.

    I have had my fair share of holiday depression when I was younger. My father, who was normally a very ornery character, was an absolute teddy bear at Christmas time. We didn\'t have much money, but if you could see how he set up the living room with toys, stuffed stockings, my expanding train set etc, it would bring tears to your eyes. I guess I would like to do that sort of thing for my boys, but they are still kind of young and my wife is a little worried about overdoing the toy thing.

    So... I don\'t know exactly what will happen, but after reading all your messages on the subject, I feel like inviting you all over for Christmas eve with my family. When I was a student in Boston many years ago, a family I was rooming with, really took me under their wing and I specifically remember them looking out for me at Christmas time. They were a single dad and 3 kids and they sort of had a missing piece themselves and seemed to appreciate another adult on the scene. Sort of \"Hey... here is somebody who needs us.\"

    Sometimes something magic can happen around the holidays when you least expect it. I liked the ideas about soup kitchens and trying to do something for less fortunate folks. My elder sister used to do that quite a bit when she was younger. That could be a solution. In any case, I hope you all have a happy holiday season.

    Bruce

  12. #12
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    Default Re: Christmas is coming closer

    Oscar,

    LOL . . . good idea! A good college buddy of mine used to go around with a retractable presentation pointer with mistletoe attached to one end.

  13. #13
    PheroWizard oscar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Christmas is coming closer

    SwingDoc,

    Funny, I had that idea about 20 years ago, but within the last couple of years somebody else patented it.
    C\'est la vie!
    It\'s just as well. The last thing I need is another patent that\'s not making me any money and costing me maintenance fees.

    Oscar [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

  14. #14
    Carpal Tunnel Whitehall's Avatar
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    Default Bringing so warmth to others

    One thing my family did sometimes for Thanksgiving or Christmas was invite some sailors over for dinner. We lived in a big Navy town and these poor kids would often be away from their families for the first time in their life. They were always polite, good company, and so grateful for the invitation. I recommend it - most bases have an arrangement service so its an easy telephone call.

  15. #15
    Phero Pharaoh a.k.a.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Christmas is coming closer

    Thanks for the holiday cheer, Bruce.

    I too have fond childhood memories, but maybe your wife’s right about going easy on the toys. I was spoiled rotten and missed out on the good will elements of the holiday.

    From what I recall, being out of school was exciting enough.

    Anyway, best wishes to you and yours.

  16. #16
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    Default Re: Christmas is coming closer

    I\'m trying to figure out just how many sailors would fit in this apartment ... hmmmm ... [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif[/img]

  17. #17
    Banned User Elana's Avatar
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    Default Re: Christmas is coming closer

    Let me help you out. You invite as many as you want and whoever doesn\'t fit in your apartment can come to my place. You know my type. [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

  18. #18
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bringing so warmth to others

    A lot of the women\'s shelters, the churches and such have programs to provide gifts to poor kids. The one we participate in allows you to select from a list of kids and has a short wish list for each. My kids pick out one child each, usually from the same family, then pick out and wrap gifts for them. We all go together to deliver them to the church sponsoring the program. The kids really enjoy the warm fuzzies of helping others.

  19. #19
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    Default Re: Christmas is coming closer

    Elana, it\'s so nice to have friends! And friends share! [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

    I\'m finally getting excited about the holiday season ...

  20. #20
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    Default Re: Bringing so warmth to others

    << The kids really enjoy the warm fuzzies of helping others. >>

    I haven\'t heard that term in a while. I grew up with TA for Tots - I wonder if it\'s still published.


  21. #21
    Administrator Bruce's Avatar
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    Default Re: Christmas is coming closer

    FTR,
    Why don\'t you invite Captain Josh up to DC for Thanksgiving. Must be a place to park his boat somewhere around there.
    Bruce

  22. #22
    Banned User EXIT63's Avatar
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    Default Re: Christmas is coming closer

    ...I\'m trying to figure out just how many sailors would fit in this apartment ... hmmmm ...


    Make sure you inform the people from Guiness !


  23. #23
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    Default Re: Christmas is coming closer

    lol

  24. #24
    Banned User EXIT63's Avatar
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    Default Re: Christmas is coming closer

    Christmas Sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I could go on but...F@#k it.

  25. #25
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    Default Re: Christmas is coming closer

    Ok, here\'s another take on it. No matter how bad it ever gets, Christmas doesn\'t suck. The only time of the year when dreams live. Everything\'s sleeping, waiting for to be reborn in the spring, which will surely come -- think about that, it\'s something you can count on. Down quilts. Flannel sheets. Beautiful music. Good food (bake your own damn cookies if you have to, it\'s not hard). Beautiful stories. The smell of evergreen. Time to hush, be still, reflect. Reassurance of life everlasting. Go make somebody happy, just for the fun of it. You\'ll feel better. raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens... lol

  26. #26
    Moderator Mtnjim's Avatar
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    Default Re: Christmas is coming closer

    Then some moron ruins it. We have a radio station that went \"All Christmas all of the time\" on Nov first. Do you know how repulsed by Christmas carols I would be if I had to listen to that.
    What\'s next Christmas trees decorated on July 4th (in the strores)??

  27. #27
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    Default Re: Christmas is coming closer

    That and the Salvation Army guys in your face the second you step out of the store with those infernal bells they won\'t stop ringing, they make me rabid. Wear a sign or something, for the love of Pete, stop that noise!!

  28. #28
    Banned User EXIT63's Avatar
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    Default Re: Christmas is coming closer

    Sorry, I\'ve been drowning in November gray since I hit the big 42 last week. It all just seems so bleak.

  29. #29
    Banned User EXIT63's Avatar
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    Default Re: Christmas is coming closer

    The first time I hear \"Grandma got runover by a reindeer\". I\'m gonna fuckin go ballistic!

  30. #30
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    Default Re: Christmas is coming closer

    I guess you don\'t wanna hear \"Happy Birthday!\" then ... but I\'m saying it anyway. Thanks for all the compliments and all the reassurances and for being so welcoming to the women on the forum. Thanks for being silly sometimes and making us laugh. Thanks for being unabashedly you. I\'m happy you were born.


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