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  1. #1
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    Default What do Women Want?

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    Women\'s forum very quiet these last few days, so here is a topic for discussion.

    Are a man\'s looks that important to you, or not really? For myself I have always placed appearance secondary to many other considerations, and wonder if I\'m unusual, or do looks really count that much when a woman is seeking a man.

    Grooming/cleanliness is important of course (to a degree, I don\'t want him so immaculate that he\'s afraid to get \"dirty\" ahem), but to me a man does not have to be really handsome to be attractive. Personality, attitude, confidence, behaviour, sense of humor, these all count much more to me than looks.

    And specificallly, does a man have to be muscularly buff, or are teddy bears OK? Personally I always thought teddy bear types are just fine, though everything depends on the total package (the attributes I mentioned before).

    I have often wondered what other women look for, because from reading these boards, I sometimes think men think we are as visually oriented as they are, and I have never felt this to be true. No offense, guys, just trying to help you out too, but I have thought about this a lot, and maybe I am just unusual, because I try to see the inner person more than the outer person. Or I think I do. Not to say I would never look a little at a buff handsome guy, but it\'s the whole package that counts.


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    Default Re: What do Women Want?

    Sophie, so funny you should bring this up. Today at work I went into the pantry to get some coffee, and a coworker who I often run into there was there again today. This guy is on the short side, not fat, not skinny, just average body, nothing really catches your eye about him in that way ... he\'s neat but not a sharp dresser by any means ... he\'s balding ...and he\'s got one eye that drifts.


    He\'s SO witty. Everytime I catch a glimpse of him I smile without thinking about it. I love to be around him. Today he was singing Some Enchanted Evening in this goofy quasi operatic voice, just being silly in the kitchen with me, and I said to him, \"You\'re just cute. Have I told you lately how cute I think you are?\" and he laughed and I laughed and I had a fantasy of going out with him, that it would be fun, I would enjoy myself, and I could see things going further.

    He\'s smart and funny and charming and quick. I don\'t give a damn about his looks. I just like him.

    And it\'s always been like that for me.

    My 2 cents for what it\'s worth.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: What do Women Want?

    Some of the most attractive guys I know are not handsome, and some of the most handsome are not attractive!!! I hear ya, R!!

    Isn\'t life funny...

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    Default Re: What do Women Want?

    OOh, I just had a thought of Sex and the City (missing that show!!) You know, Charotte\'s new guy, that she says is so ugly but she can\'t resist him? There\'s a good example, and a good discussion topic. What is it about that guy? (quiz)


  5. #5
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    Default Re: What do Women Want?

    Simple, He has to work harder. Better looking guys and girls are just used to having their ass kissed all the time. They don\'t have to try nearly as hard as those who are more facially challenged. Therefore they don\'t develop their wit and personality muscles and they become atrophied. What a shock it will be for them when they hit the wall. And they will hit it...Eventually.

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    Default Re: What do Women Want?

    It\'s true about the having to work harder. But what I\'ve realized is that for me, it\'s about brains and imagination. I\'m not talking about a book smart pedant -- that\'s boring. Someone who can take the conversation through twists and turns and surprise me and make me think -- that\'s what engages me. Intellectually agile, that\'s a turn on. And open-minded, and I don\'t mean just about sex. Someone who\'s not provincial in his outlook.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: What do Women Want?

    What\'s a pedant?

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    Default Re: What do Women Want?

    One who is unimaginative or who unduly emphasizes minutiae in the presentation or use of knowledge

  9. #9
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    Default Re: What do Women Want?

    Damn! I\'m not gonna get women with my hot body and beautiful face alone?? [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif[/img] I guess I better get to the personality gym and start shaping up! This reminds me of the \"ass-man/boob-man\" controversy. Personally I prefer to look at the complete package on a woman. Yes! Personality and sense of humor are included. It takes more than mere flesh to keep me around.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: What do Women Want?

    I don´t want much at all, just perfection that´s al [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/tongue.gif[/img] CJ

  11. #11
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    Default Re: What do Women Want?

    Exit63- All good looking people are doomed to \"hit the wall\"?
    If you are nice looking you probably won\'t have a good personality? That\'s some sterotype.

  12. #12
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    Default Re: What do Women Want?

    Forgive me, Some days I have a tendency to open mouth and insert foot. I don\'t really mean to stereotype. I\'m just lonely and bitter. And I need a vacation. And a bigger penis. lol.

  13. #13
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    Default Re: What do Women Want?

    Don\'t hate me because I\'m beautiful [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] and I will love you even if you have a little penis. [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

  14. #14
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    Default Re: What do Women Want?

    Same here [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

  15. #15
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    Default Re: What do Women Want?

    Have I told you ladies today how much I LOVE YOU?

    Well I do...I really do. [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

  16. #16
    Banned User Elana's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do Women Want?

    We LOVE you too! [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

  17. #17
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    Default Re: What do Women Want?

    Elana, you have acheived FULL MEMBER status...Geit it? FULL MEMBER. Just what you luv so much.

  18. #18
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    Default Re: What do Women Want?

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif[/img] I do love a Full Member! Exit, we just answered the question of this thread...Women want you!

  19. #19
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    Default Re: What do Women Want?

    Yes...It\'s all true. Now will someone please tell the women.

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    Default Re: What do Women Want?

    lol [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

  21. #21
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    Default Re: What do Women Want?

    As a guy, I\'ve always had that belief of,...\"girls place less emphasis on looks than guys place on girls.\" Why do else do you think womens fashions, hair, makeup, etc is such a huge mulit billion dollar industry? A while ago at a newstand, I was amazed at the number of womens hair magazines. I pointed it out to a female friend,..and I was like, \"what is this?\" And she goes,...\"it\'s absurd, I don\'t believe in it either\" (she\'s sexy but sensible about things). There were probably 8-10 magazines just on different hair styles. There is such an emphasis on looks for women, I could never imagine it.

    Guys tend to work on their personalities while women work on their looks. It\'s a gross generalization, but it\'s got some truth to it. Women do their makeup before a date, while a guy will think to himself,....\"I should be funny, confident, fun, etc\".


  22. #22
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    Default Re: What do Women Want?

    Act like a jerk
    Get drunk on booze
    But whatever you do
    Don\'t wear crappy shoes

  23. #23
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    Default Re: What do Women Want?

    What on earth are you on about ?

  24. #24
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    Default Re: What do Women Want?

    Women don´t wear make-up, dress up and other things to please men. Sorry to any guys who think everything women do evolves entirely around them like us girls have nothing else to do. Women do all those things - buying cosmetics, trying to look and feel good just for themselves. Sounds selfish? Not really after all men can end up benefitting from this too.

    Yes I can´t believe there´s so many `womens mags´ either. I stopped buying them years ago!
    Having said that there´s a lot of mens magazines around too, giving the same type of useless `good advice, statistics, topics as those ofr women. There´s also more than a few mags with naked girls too - penthouse, playboy, hustler... why´s that? There all the same too.

    Another thought, maybe women have ended up spending too much time (in some cases) worrying about their looks because of the media and society in general. Until now women in europe have been `allowed´ to have wrinkles and stuff but in other places they get told to go and get rid off them. Why I ask?

    Make up is not just for dates either, it´s for yourself and men shouldn´t tell themsleves to `be funny etc` just be yourself. It´s much easier! [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] CJ

  25. #25
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    Default Re: What do Women Want?

    Oh I´m rambling again. I just had luch and some of it was liquid. As was the desert -a very good mid-nineties spanish red one [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] CJ

  26. #26
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    Default Re: What do Women Want?

    I think trying to alter your personality to please some vague idea of what women want is disastrous. What people want more than anything else, at heart, is to be loved for ourselves. Well, how\'s she gonna love you if she can\'t see who you ARE? If there\'s anything to be worked on, it would be your own intuition and responsiveness, so you can interact with the other person authentically. Keep it real -- that\'s where the treasure is.


  27. #27
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    Default Re: What do Women Want?

    Everybody says, “Keep it real.” Yet everybody plays a role.
    Human subjectivity and freedom of thought implies the possibility of taking on many roles. Some poor souls are stuck in a role that their family imposed on them. And some societies are so repressive that you don’t have much leeway. But, for the most part, everybody is a different person on the job, with their family, among friends, with a lover, and etc.. For me, the most interesting people are the ones that are flexible about who they\'re going to be. (Then again, I do tend to get stuck with more than my share of psychos. So I suppose there should be some sort of balance.)

    PS Sorry for butting into the women’s forum, but how could I resist answering the Freudian question?
    The way I see it, most people (women included) don’t know what they really want. That’s why they’re so easy to manipulate.

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    Default Re: What do Women Want?

    We have to act appropriately, that\'s all. We can still be real in any circumstance. To create a persona for each facet of your life, it seems to me, would be exhausting and fruitless. I don\'t think it does any good to try to act like someone you\'re not in order to make people like you. Some people will, some people won\'t, that\'s just how it is, right? And there are some people who maybe would like you exactly the way you are, IF that could be known, and not covered up with a bunch of overlay put on because everybody knows that\'s what women want. Different women want different things. The start of this thread was to say that we\'re not as interested in looks as guys think we are. I\'m saying \"Swingers\" is not a good movie for a guy to model himself after, nor these fastseduction, etc. sites. While you\'re busy acting in this preprogrammed manner that is NOT you, there\'s probably a girl in your vicinity somewhere who would appreciate the real you. Putting on an act is a waste of time, and trying to control other people\'s behavior is a waste of time - especially men trying to control women. It\'s like trying to herd cats. You can\'t get inside our heads because we\'re wired different from you. So thinking X will get me Y just leads to frustration. Some times it will, sometimes it won\'t, sometimes it matters what day of the month it is ... the best thing is to try to see your partner for who she is, and to be who you are without apology. The more you stuff your head full of \"women are like this, men are like that,\" I think the worse your chances of a real hook up. You\'re so busy looking for what she\'s \"supposed\" to act like or be like that you\'re not listening or observing what\'s actually going on. It just screws up communication, and I don\'t mean talking, I mean being able to feel and sense the other person.Everybody wants to be loved. That\'s why we\'re all so easy to manipulate.

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    Default Re: What do Women Want?

    I don\'t doubt that women wear makeup, get their hair done, etc to make themselves feel good, guys work out for the same reason, but a guy needs only a fraction of the time to get ready. Maybe my female friends have distorted my view of women getting prepared for a date. Some of them literally take an hour to get ready (or longer).

    There is a whole world dedicated to guys improving their personalities/approaches to women. It\'s askmen.com, speed seduction, fastseduction.com, doubleyourdating.com, etc....an entire cottage industry. What to say to women is a very big deal. I like to call it an \"enhancement\" of your personality. Like wearing a hot cologne or women wearing a push up bra. Something to make you feel more confident in front of the opposite sex. I don\'t think it is molding to fit a particular image. Just something to give you a boost.


  30. #30
    Phero Dude xxxPantero's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do Women Want?

    what about having a good personality because i was ugly, then i started to work on my looks?

    would that make a winning combo?

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