Women and nice guys

[krtel]

I have a question for all of you, and I know, that most of you are a lot older than I am, and have experienced this somewhere in your lifetime. Why is it that a girl would rather date a complete jackass over a nice guy? Why is it that nice guys are always left out while the jackass gets the girls? I swear, if I had a quarter for every girl that\'s told me \"Your really really sweet, it\'s not you, it\'s me...\" I\'d be a [censored] millionare. Whats it take for a nice guy to find himself a gf? I\'m one of those \"nice\" guy types, and the closest I can get with a girl is friends. I feel really ashamed to say this, but what the hell eh, not like it matters: I am 17 [censored] years old and haven\'t even had a gf yet. I\'m such a loser aren\'t I? If being a complete [censored] is what it takes then I guess I\'ll just have to be one now won\'t I? Bleh, i dunno. [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/frown.gif[/img]

[sophie]

you\'re definitely not a loser....you\'re only 17!!! I never had a real boyfriend til I was 19!! I know, at 17 it seems like something should be happening, and it will. Personally I think late bloomers have an advantage, more GOOD years of good times with the opposite sex. Stay true to yourself, and eventually you will find HER. And you\'ll be glad you\'re you and not someone else. You may get a lot of different advice here, but I stand by my opinion. (others may have good advice too, incorporate it into your strategy).

[Watcher]

I will give you the biological point of view.

Anone - bad boys give off plenty of it are aggressive and go and get things in life they are motivated they have high testostrone levels they are more likley to get into fights but have a better sex drive and chase the women
This is good for women as they are on a power trip and the nice guys just aint cut it, they are supplanting and to nice - young women hate this its to boring
They are always screeming they want more excitement bad boys provide this they have guts and will defend her also (probably more likley to cheat)

Up to the late 20s women want this especially today as they can put off childbirth longer and get the excitement before settling down.

If you are a nice guy you will be a late starter unless u work out at the very least bulk up as much as you can and then you will provide the psychical excitement they are after.

Sorry this has just been my experience from the late teens to now (22 now) and after having forgotten about sex for a few years and concentrated on learning making a pile of cash - using pheros to max advantage and working out im pulling them like crazy. But i didnt get anything for a year therefore you can see how hard it was im getting the rewards for now.

Also you can ignore this but concentrate on the less attractive types at least they are eager and will give you some experience and also stop chasing the more attractive ones for now this will take personal strength of course.

Ok enough ranting. Its all to do with bad boy natural phero sig vs nice guy phero sig. that drives all their sexual behaviour.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Good advice Sophie...be true to yourself. Be nice, eventually something will happen. Trust me - women see things in us that we have no idea about. You don\'t have to be a \"bad boy\" to get women. Maybe take a second look at the nerdy girl hiding out in the library. I dated a girl in highschool she told me the other girls called her the K-Mart kid because she didn\'t have all of the newest flashiest clothes. But when her clothes did come of she had the most amazing body. We had a really good time together and didn\'t have to worry about showing off to other people to keep our image - we just enjoyed our time together (naked or otherwise.)

Oh - and finding a girlfriend never gets easier - I\'m struggling right now so I feel your pain bro.

[PHP 87]

The problem is that most nice guys are pushovers and have no backbone.

Not exactly attractive qualities.

Jerks get the girls because they have a \"Don\'t give a Damn\" attitude.

One can still be a nice guy and still get women, while at the same time not being a wimp.

[belgareth]

Krtel:

From an old fart.

It does seem that way sometimes, doesn\'t it? What are your values? What, beside getting laid, do you want in a girlfriend? Are you looking for a superficial relationship or do you want somebody who will share your interests, who is fun to be around? Does she need to be a cheerleader or would that plain girl in your math class with the great sense of humor be more fun? It may not seem so at 17 but you really can\'t spend all your time in bed. Instead, try finding more than one lady who shares your interests and is fun to be around. No, it won\'t get you in bed next week. In the long run, it will get you in bed more often and you\'ll probably be a lot happier.

You can follow all the advice from places like fastseduction.com or work on making yourself into an Adonis. But is that really you? Are you willing to compromise yourself to become an image that somebody else says you should be? Listen to the women on the forum, they know what a woman is looking for in a man. Go back and read just the women\'s comment in the thread \"What a woman wants\".

I was raised to be a gentleman and have tried to practice it all my life. The end result is that I am married to a lovely, sweet woman with a good mind and a great sense of humor and I am a trusted small business owner. I may have missed a few opportunities to get laid over the years, but I think I got the best of it all.

Belgareth

[jose]

Bad boys are more exciting and assertive to women. While nice guys are boring predictable, too needy at times. Subconsciously(and maybe Watcher agrees with this)women are looking for a dominant male type for their genes to pass along to their children. This probably goes back to the caveman days, so a passive guy won\'t cut it.

[belgareth]

Why do you have to be passive to be a nice guy?

[jose]

Passive is just one trait in the nice guy syndrome that some women are not into. Being a gentleman today is not the COOL thing to do with today\'s teenagers. Each generation is different with their own values.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

egg-zactly. I\'m nice (a gentleman) but I am not a pushover. I will bend a little, but don\'t push me too far [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif[/img]

[belgareth]

Anybody who knows me would laugh to hear me called passive. However, I treat a lady like a lady. Displaying good manners is never wrong. It\'s more a sign of personal power and self assurance.

If the female does not like being treated like a lady, then she is probably not the type I would want in my life.

[jose]

Maybe passive isn\'t the right word how about wimp or whuss.lol

[belgareth]

Sure, cool. If you want to believe that, go right ahead. Everybody is entitled to their delusions.

[jose]

It\'s not a delusion I\'ve seen it myself and I\'ve been \"the nice guy\" until I realized it was getting me nowhere with women. The cocky and funny routine has worked for me very well with women, I haven\'t had the \"lets be friends\" speech since.

[krtel]

Hey, well, thanks for the words of inspiration, but to answer your question, getting laid is on the bottom of things I would want outta gf. I would like someone spend time with, talk to, do things together, have fun, work together, etc. You know, I don\'t want a one night stand or anything like that, IMO it is not for me. I want a \"long term\" relationship. I\'m just weird like that.

[belgareth]

That\'s a good answer.

Be who and what you are. Approach women on an equals basis. If they abuse your generosity you can always avoid them in the future.

A hint: Girls your age are just as confused and nervous as you are. Respect that by relaxing and having a good time.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

krtel,
the best site i have found for teens like us is the sosuave.com forum.
Fastseduction patterning simply isn\'t very effective for high school girls as they most likely havn\'t experienced the feelings your trying to create in them yet.
read the \'highschool bible\' at the sosuave forum.
just be careful to not mention things about pheromones as they are non-believers lol.

[krtel]

Thanks sophie for the kind words of inspiration. [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

[krtel]

I don\'t understand what you mean when you say that nice guys don\'t have a backbone?

[PHP 87]

SImple. Most \"Nice Guys\" are too afraid to be assertive and will let women walk all over them just because they have what the Nice Guy wants.

Sometimes it\'s obvious, sometimes it\'s not.


I have a friend who takes girls out for coffee and asks \"Do you want to sit over there?\" instead of saying \"Let\'s sit over there\"

[Watcher]

Remember most women are passive and need the guy to be aggressive, impregnate her and take the role (shes only providing the body to carry the offspring - in a biological sense) therefore she needs attention provision protection communications strength money support intelligence leadership and all sorts of things.

Most nice guys are passive because they sometimes dont have these qualities and have low self esteem and play the game to get attention from the females as they take and dont give attention because they feel insecure aggressive towards other males and play this nice guy act in the impossible hope to find another strong female to lead them around (unless shes very musculine, a transexual or gay *another guy*) it aint gunna happen.

Then to protect their ego and not to admit to themselves and others they blame the women for not being interested in nice guys.

Ok ive been guilty of this in the past waffling on about women being bitches - its just an attention seeking game they play to attract men who are aggressive, nasty, bad boy types to take care of them its the natural way regardless of feminism which has just given them more of a balance in non-sexual areas and more freedom + technological improvements allowed this to happen - labour saving devices and conception to name a few.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

interesting. I may have to let my brain chew on this for a while before I write a real response. I\'m mulling over past relationships and the gears are grinding.
Here\'s a question - what about the \"lost puppy syndrome\"? EG: Using a woman\'s natural maternal instincts by playing the \"hurt\" and letting her make you feel better? Women love to have someone to take care of as much as we love to fix stuff. Of course it doesn\'t make a lasting relationship but it has worked for me in the past. (on occasion)

[belgareth]

Ok, I\'ll grant that some women can be bitches, just as some men can be jackasses. Some men can be wimps and some women can be over-assertive. This is news? For the most part, you are over-generalizing based on an extremely small sample with a dearth of real world experience.

The ability to behave as a gentleman is based on self assurance and a clear understanding of one\'s personal strength. The over-assertive male who belitles female is not far from the wife beater whose ego is so tiny that he must demean and hurt others to show how big he really is. It\'s also the attitude of the rapist.

To call somebody like me a wimp or to suggest a small ego is an error. Because we choose to treat a lady like a lady does not in any way show weakness. From my perspective, those guys who insist on considering all females inferior or incapable of an equals relationship are only showing their own gross insecurity.

I can show courtesy to others because I am very sure of who I am, my personal strength and abilities. And just for the record, I have an ego roughly the size of Detroit. It would be impossible to successfully run my own business otherwise.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Belgareth, those are beautiful posts you wrote. I\'m glad you\'re here.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

yeah - good post. I use the golden rule. treat others as I would like to be treated. of course I use reverse karma too - if it comes around dammit it\'s my responsibility, it\'s my duty, it\'s my god given right to send it back around [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/tongue.gif[/img] (just kidding)
I treat people fairly, and with kindness, but if you f*ck with me you will have a world of hurt coming down on you. I\'m slim, but I\'m scrappy dammit.

[belgareth]

Thank you both

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Spoken like a true scrapper of a fire sign, Aries m\' boy! [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

[Watcher]

True on the critisicm, the thing in australia is a culture where women are bitches to men and make them run in circles (maybe different in america) but the culture seems widespread.

Im really trying to get further discussion going as i just seem to get the bitches mostly and it gets annoying and frustrating at times.

[belgareth]

If they are being bitches, walk away from them, it\'s a matter of self respect. If they can\'t show a certain level of courtesy, I have no use for them.

Where are you going to meet women? Bars? I do not consider that to be the best place, there\'s too much competition that leads to too many games. The best women I met when I was in the game were in libraries and museums or through my work. That last won\'t work for everybody but somebody doing field work has a whole world to choose from.

My wife was introduced to me by a six year old kid. You just never know.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

You basically have three options:
#1 Call her out on it: You\'re being a real bitch. What did I do to deserve being treated like [censored], or is your self esteem just so low you have to act like that to feel big.
#2 Treat her like [censored] back: sometimes being a bitch is a woman\'s way of finding someone strong enough to deal with her.
#3 As Belgareth said WALK AWAY - this would be my recommendation as well. Stupid games get annoying, and who knows why a woman is a pain in the ass. Maybe she\'s just a bitch. I saw a lot of nasty women in OZ - just snotty and high on themselves. I walked away and found some real sweethearts. They are there you just have to find them.