Girl Question

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Was hoping for some advice here...I\'ve had a crush on one of my sister\'s best friends for the past 4 years or so (I\'m 26, she just turned 23). I see her maybe 5 or 6 times a year at my sister\'s place (I don\'t hang out with my sister that much). Anyway, I hadn\'t really pursued it since I had been in a serious relationship until earlier this year. She was always nice to me before, but I did notice that she started paying a lot more attention to me when I started wearng pheros last year. A few weeks ago, she was at my neice\'s b-day party, and we were hanging out for a bit, and I gave her a ride to this other family thing that we had that night, and gave her a ride home. So, I called her up the next night to see if she wanted to go out sometime, and she said that would be cool. She called me up a couple days later and we made a date for that Saturday. I was really excited all week because I like her a lot. Anyway, she left me a message Saturday while I was out cancelling because her mom told her that morning that her grandparents were coming over that night to celebrate her birhday (which was on the upcoming Wednesday). So, needless to say I was pretty dissapointed because I had been looking forward to it all week. We talked that night, but we didn\'t reschedule or anything. I asked her if she was free on Sunday, but she had plans already. I called her on Tuesday to wish her a happy birthday, but I didn\'t ask her out again because she told me that she was doing something with her friends for her birthday. So, I waited til tonight to call her again, and we talked for a little bit, and I didn\'t ask her out, but I asked what she was doing this Saturday, and she said she said something about going shopping and maybe going hiking.

So, I don\'t know what to do. She hasn\'t brought up us going out since she cancelled our original date. I\'m not sure if she suddenly changed her mind about it because she doesn\'t like me anymore; she thinks it\'s a bad idea because she\'s close to my sister and my family; or for some other reason. I don\'t know if I should just give up or give it another shot, because I really thought that she liked me before, but I don\'t know what she\'s thinking now.

What do you guys think?

[proteus]

She\'s not interested/flaked out on you/is jerking your chain - anyone of those. If a gal wants to go out with you she doesn\'t come up with a million excuses which she is exactly what she is doing.

[Macmers]

The only thing you can do is be positive about it.....let time tell......

\"When all men think alike, no one thinks very much.\"
-Walter Lippmann

[xxxPantero]

well, go out with another girl, that\'ll make her want to go out with you real quick [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I know this is radical, but ... why don\'t you ask her?

She does sound flaky and maybe she\'s the kind of person who can\'t give a straight answer if it\'s not likely to please the questioner, but ... maybe the reason she gave for cancelling your date was true. Your asking what is she doing on whatever day puts her in a bad position. If she says, \"Why, nothing!\" it makes her look like she has no life. If she says she\'s going hiking and shopping or whatever, then you could take it to mean she\'s busy. So call her up and say, look, did you reconsider and just want to be friends, or do you still want to go out with me? Because I\'d like to take you ...whatever. Are you free Sunday afternoon around *whatever* time?

I\'d give her one more chance, being very direct. If she backs out at the last minute again, forget her. You don\'t need the aggravation.

[MAJORSOB]

I agree with FTR on this one...why people over look the obvious and go right to game playing is beyond me..it gets you no where..if you want to know if she wants to go out with you then ask her plain and simple...just call her up and say ..Hi thought i\'d call to see if you might like to go out sometime...key word being sometime..if she says yes then pick a day thats agreeable..if she says no then you have your answer..leave it at that...life is short don\'t waste time..get what you want!

[Watcher]

Well if she doesnt really show any interest after you have followed the advice to ring her back and ask one more time by FTR then consider it a \"friendship\" thing. Now of course using pheromones to find a chick that is really interested gets fun, spread the risk around if you are a little depressed, the quickest thing that cheers me up is women flirting with me and much more if i choose to persue it. DONT under any circumstances get emotionally attached to one chick to the point of desperation (this is just general advice for anyone reading this) as that is the quickest way to get led along and used by women, at least maintain the air of having options should something not work out with a particular target.

[Funlover]

I agree. Don\'t sit around waiting on her. You are not a doormat, and you shouldn\'t be treated like one. If she was serious about liking you, she would be calling and rescheduling a date, I\'m sure. No matter how busy someone is, if they really like you they are gonna find the time somehow to get together with you.

So don\'t appear \"needy\", don\'t sit around and be a doormat, and put those phero\'s on & go to work finding someone that really appreciates you.

Funlover

[Bruce]

Since she is the one who phoned you to set up the date the first time and now is being evasive, the situation does not look too good. She may have hooked up with an old bf or any number of things, but the best thing to do is like FTR says, simply ask her if she is still interested in getting together with you. Whatever is up with her, asking is a prefectly reasonable thing to do and you can lay all the quessing to rest. Be sure to let us know what she says.

Bruce

[Gerund]

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well, go out with another girl, that\'ll make her want to go out with you real quick
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Bwahahahahah! Pantero my man, you are soooooo right~

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Bandito - Man, I would totally rest my case on the same grounds that FTR & Bruce are standing on... Press the issue with her by asking and then back off, there\'s plenty more just like her out there, just as hot if not hotter...

Good luck guy...

[upsidedown]

I think the fact that she\'s still accepting your phone call and talking to you is enough to give you hope. I\'ve had women who don\'t seem to have the nerve to just tell me straight out that they\'re not interested, and will instead just not answer the phone when they see it\'s me calling. To me, that hurts worse than if they just tell me nicely \"no thanks.\" So, at least you\'ve got a talking relationship still and are in a position to be able to ask her straight out again.
Also, some women are just not comfortable about making the move, and she\'s probably not going to say anything about getting together either. She may just be waiting for you to be the one to bring it up.

Bottom line, just come right out and ask her again. If she says no....then so be it. At least you\'ll know and won\'t be agonizing about it any more.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Here\'s another possibility. The girl may have talked to your sister about going out with you. Your sister may have told her something like, DON\'T HURT MY BROTHER! Siblings can be very protective that way. The girl may feel it isn\'t worth the hassle of losing her best friend if things didn\'t work out between the two of you. This girl may be your sister\'s best friend, but you’re her brother. Blood is thicker than water. You may want to talk to your sister before you call this girl again. I agree that you should ask her straight out if she wants to go out with you or not. Otherwise you will always wonder if she is interested in you or not.

BNQ

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I appreciate the advice guys. I\'ll try to give her a call on Sunday or Monday night (I have a date tomorrow night and another one Thursday, and will hopefully be seeing one or both of them on the weekend). I guess I should have been more direct and asked her out again one of the last times I talked to her. I didn\'t because it was hard enough for me the first time, and I just couldn\'t get myself to do it again.

Also, Watcher and funlover mentioned not getting too emotionally attached and appearing needy. I had a problem with that before because I was in a 4 year relationship with my first...everything (first love, kiss, basically the first person who paid any attention to me). I got together with her when I was 21, and didn\'t have any experience with girls before that. I was so grateful that someone actually liked me, and I convinced myself that I\'d never get anyone else and nobody else could like me. That ended and I had a really hard time getting over it. So, I started seeing someone after that, who turned out to be a complete mess, but I kept trying to make it work and took a lot of crap just because I was glad to be in a relationship again.

Thankfully that is over, and I\'m just getting used to the idea of being single and the whole dating scene, which I am pretty new to at age 26. I\'m also accepting the fact that I was ridiculous for thinking the way that I used to think, and that I am an awesome person, so if a girl doesn\'t want to spend time with me, then it\'s their loss. My confidence is way up from where it used to be, but I know that my game still needs a lot of work.

Anyway, as for my sister\'s friend, like I said, I\'ll ask her out again, and if she\'s not interested, I won\'t lose any sleep over it.

[upsidedown]

You\'ve already got two dates this week with two different women? Sounds like you\'re going OK as it is right now even without this third woman. Not only can we say, hey if she turns you down, there are lots of fish in the sea, but right now you\'ve already got several other fishes anyway.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

seems the guy is putting some `none under his nose ;-)

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Alright, so I called her up tonight and talked to her for about half an hour before I finally asked her if she still wanted to go out sometime. She said ok, but she couldn\'t do it this weekend since she\'s going out of town, but we could do something next weekend. So, I guess we\'ll see how that goes.

As for the other two dates...

The girl on Wednesday was very cute. Exactly what I like physically. We went out for drinks. I was a bit nervous at first, and that combined with the heat and humidity was making me sweat at first (I sweat pretty easily), but I thought it went ok. The conversation was flowing very easily (which is difficult for me, since that is not a strong point for me), and I thought we had a good time. Anyway, I really like her, and I thought that she\'d go out with me again, but called her up on Friday, got her voicemail and left a message, but I never heard back from her. I left another message Sunday night, just in case she lost my number or something, but I didn\'t hear back (it\'s Monday night now), so I was pretty bummed about it, since I thought the date went ok, and since I like her.

The one on Thursday went badly. I had the same sweating problem, and the conversation was just very awkward. She was cute too, but I think we were just both relieved when it was over.

I was wearing 1 drop of PI/m behind the ears, 1 dab of NPA on my neck, and SOE behind my ears and on my wrists. Not sure how much I actually kept on because I was sweating though.

[RyanG]

sorry man, this doesn\'t look good. after reading a lot of the useful info at fastseduction.com, i would say she doesn\'t like you. Read up on some of the stuff there. You can get some good tips.