I\'m sort of at a point in my life where I probably need a change. I came off a 3 1/2 year positive relationship and seem to have fallen into a series of flings and just piss poor relationships for the past two years. I\'m a fairly mature individual, graduated with BAs in Politics, English and Philosophy with the massive amounts of honors in May and have been accepted into 12 of the top law schools in the country (I\'m not going however, I\'m taking a semester off and then starting on my Phd.)

Yet for some reason I am still playing with these \"amateur\" women. What I\'ve begun to notice lately is that I am attracting and am attracted to, older women. Particularly women in their 30s and 40s. They all flirt with me when I hang out in the coffee shop I live above, even when the young 20-something girls behind the bar won\'t give me a chance. Part of it has to be pheros, but there is more to it as well.

I\'m an attractive guy, at least in the past year I think I\'ve grown to look attractive, I never really thought I was good looking previously but I\'ve grown up, added muscle, facial hair, let the hair grow longer and basically improved myself overall. However I\'m no pure knock down stud (6\'5\" 275, ding, ding, ding). I can have an intelligent conversation with you, and know how to stimulate you in that area. But I\'m not some skinny brad pitt or brandon boyd wannabe.

I have a book deal with a major publishing company as I am turning my honors senior thesis into a book on the right to privacy in the age of global terrorism and basically come across as every mother\'s dream for their daughter. But the daughters don\'t like me, or jerk me around incessantly. I just heard it today, \"Why don\'t you ask my daughter out, you two would be perfect together\" and if I would have told the mom the truth about how her daughter prefers the taste of pounnanni now, the mother\'s jaw would have dropped. These young girls don\'t know what they are doing, are average in bed at best, and have no clue what they are going to do in life. And going to a local community college or becoming a park ranger aren\'t exactly high level career girls. I want a lawyer, a doctor, someone who is aiming high, like I do. I don\'t want anymore artschool drop outs. These girls don\'t know what they want, they say just want to have fun, but they have no conception of how this fun fits into the whole scheme of things. Drink some more beer girls, bang some more frat boys, hell sleep with women, have your fun, I\'ll see you in like 10 years when you can appreciate a guy like me.

I\'m tired of these twenty-something flousies. I\'m tired of losing girls to drugs, or to frat boys, or to lesbianism. I\'m tired of massaging the egos of these girls and delicately nurturing their fragile psyches.

I think I want a Sugar Mommy or something akin to that, an older mature professional women who I could be with and work through grad school with.

I am I out of my mind giving up the dirty, drunk, drug-addicted girls that I swoon over now for women with real jobs and real lives?

Hmm, perhaps I\'m finally waking up.

JDM