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  1. #31
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    Default Re: The Question: Younger vs. Older

    visit-red-300x50PNG
    No, of course, you\'re quite right and I must admit I fall into the \"guilty\" category on this one. I can\'t do too much younger, it just doesn\'t feel right. However. At my age, older men than I are having some equipment failure while I\'m ready to go at full tilt (!), so a guy a few years younger is not a bad thing.

    JD says he has older women coming on to him, so he has a ready supply if he should decide to go for it. Compared to what he\'s currently got happening, it would seem to me the older women might be a nice change for him.

  2. #32
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    Default Re: The Question: Younger vs. Older

    I got a kick out of that letter the first time I saw it, way back when I was first in college...

    On the flip side of the issue, I often face an interesting dilemma -- although I am 44 years old, I easily pass for 34. And if I\'m tanned & rested, even younger, maybe late 20s. The problem is that I just don\'t know how to act when a 22- year-old girl is expressing interest -- and I\'m absolutely positive she has no idea how old I am.

    Part of me thinks that she\'d run screaming into the night to learn I\'m 44 years old. I almost feel that if I didn\'t make it a point to reveal my age before going any further with a young girl, she\'d accuse me of \"dating under false pretenses\" or something.

    I know this sounds kind of dippy, but it is a real concern for me. Luckily, very few 22-25 year-old women appeal to me -- but there\'s always a few that are attractive, mature, and intelligent -- who I wouldn\'t mind being with at all.

    Any thoughts out there from the estrogen crowd in our little forum?

  3. #33
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    Default Re: The Question: Younger vs. Older

    Always always tell the truth, and let the chips fall where they may. Ultimately, it\'s just easier.

  4. #34
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    Default Re: The Question: Younger vs. Older

    Good Advice, FTR. Honesty is the best policy. The more I read your posts and learn about your past years & experiences, the better I like you. And I haven\'t even seen you yet!!! You just seem really beautiful on the inside. The world needs more women like you. You are definately a \"teacher\"!! I will be forever grateful for what I have learned.

    Funlover


  5. #35
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    Default Re: The Question: Younger vs. Older

    Thank you ever so.

  6. #36
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    Default Re: The Question: Younger vs. Older

    You know, this thread is making me think back to my 20\'s....especially what franki said. I remember thinking, I don\'t want to get old, thinking in my then-young mind how I diidn\'t want to sleep with \"geezers\" (although I did once have a 37year old bf once when I was 23, and 37 seemed really old to me then), figuring I\'d rather go without. well, it\'s funny how life sneaks up on you and you find yourself over that hill, and liking it just fine. I know many attractive men in the age range 45-60, as well as some younger men (20\'s) who seem more mature than their years. Never let it be said that we women don\'t like to look, especially when these 40\'s hormones kick in.

    What my point is, is that *if* I were free and single, I wouldn\'t rule anyone out based on age. Basic compatibility would be a big factor, an intelligent mind is a real turnon for me, someone who thinks about things besides money and appearances (these just happen to be turnoffs for me, thinking of a couple of people I know who base their lives on income and appearances of wealth,and judge others accordingly). I must admit though, my \"dear\" SO (sometimes more dear than at other times LOL, he\'s not without faults) has these qualities I like, so I\'m not looking, but I do think about who\'s out there. A girl\'s gotta have some fantasies.

  7. #37
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    Default May I offer myself...

    Ms. Sophie,

    It would seem only fair that I offer myself as a subject of your fantasies.

    You have been a star in mine...

  8. #38
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    Default Re: May I offer myself...

    whitehall, you\'re already one of my fantasies, I\'ll never forget that PCC thread awhile back....mmmm...

  9. #39
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    Default Re: The Question: Younger vs. Older

    Oh, my, what a post. I think it\'d be most appropriate to break out of my silence/hiatus, to say that I give jamesdeanmartin a standing ovation.

    I\'ll be 24 in a matter of days. I would have to agree with your observations of younger women, and, like yourself, I am discovering a leaning toward the older women... though, albeit, for slightly different reasons.

    You\'re tired of losing out to drugs, idiots & lesbians, whereas I\'m simply tired of just losing out. Oh, the irony! I actually feel sorta vindicated for something I\'m not very proud of. You see, it\'s a futile effort for an almost 24 y/o virgin to have a women +/- 2 years my age, actually help out. If they\'re \"average at best\" then I couldn\'t prove to be much worse!!!!

    On the other hand, I bet a thirty-something, after having gotten to know me, would be fully sympathetic to my plight, and take care of my \"problem\" once and for all.

    What sucks, though, is, much unlike jamesdeanmartin, I\'m a diminutive 5\'8\" at 150, and I STILL look like I am 17. This is obviously problematic, because w/respect to me, being w/ an older women would unfortunately look like an Oedipal complex, and I\'m sure SHE would not like to be fielding questions like, \"Is that your son??\"

    But damn, I work with a lot of mid 30-something women. Too bad they\'re all married. The ones that I can confide in, tell me they\'d have taken care of me, had they not been spoken for. I must say, they\'ve influenced me positively!

    What I do for a living, isn\'t well respected (at first glance) by young 20-something women. They\'d care less about my accomplishments. Bring in the older women, then I can listen to all the compliments about how smart I am for my age, how wonderful I am to be around, and they offer me lunch!!

    Been there, done that, regarding the mother suggesting the daughter setup. Yeah, right, I\'ll just waste my time and money by chauffering and feeding your daughter, so she can tell me, \"Thanks, but no thanks\" ... assuming it\'d even get that far.

    So, yeah, I\'m getting older, and I\'m getting more and more attracted to older women. It just sucks that I\'d probably have to physically age another 10 years to catch up with the mental aspect, before I could get successful at any of this. In other words, I can\'t attract them outright, in public, like you can.

    In the meantime, I gotta just take what I can get. However, this summer, I just gave up the phero boards, as well as any others close to these topics, out of the sheer frustration of reading others\' successes, when I had none, and could not contribute. But I\'ll be damned, in my travels I met someone on a plane, and I\'ll be seeing her in a couple of weeks! Needless to say, I want every tool I have, at my disposal, and I got plenty of phero\'s stockpiled. Oh, and I did have a date with someone else, after that, but that sucked ass... Anyway, looks like I\'ll be around more, to study!

  10. #40
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    Default Re: The Question: Younger vs. Older

    ...However. At my age, older men than I are having some equipment failure while I\'m ready to go at full tilt (!),

    Buy a bottle of horny goat weed or those GNC \"lead in your pencil pills\" and keep it handy. Politely suggest to your lover that he take 4 of these at dinner, (he is buying you dinner right), cause he\'s gonna have the ride of his life and he\'s gonna need them ! ! !

  11. #41
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    Default Re: The Question: Younger vs. Older

    Exit, it\'s funny - he\'s only ever seen me with clothes on twice in the little over two years we\'ve known each other. Once on the day we met, and once when we were in the middle of a conversation but he had to leave, and I threw some jeans and a t shirt on and rode down the elevator with him, walked him to his car. That\'s it. We don\'t go out. We talk about it but once he\'s in the door and we\'re alone together, we stay that way, as much or more my choice than his, but I can\'t imagine having to sit across from him in a restaurant. I don\'t care about dinner. And I don\'t feel comfortable trying to alter him in any way whatsoever, feels disrespectful to me, even if I thought it would be \"for his own good.\" So any modifications to what we have will have to come from me. But I must say, PCC was a magic bullet... :-) we\'ll see what happens with PI/w. Hope Sophie\'s experiences happen for me, too.

  12. #42
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    Default Re: The Question: Younger vs. Older

    See, I like stories like that with a happy ending FTR!!! Everyones happy...

  13. #43
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    Default Re: The Question: Younger vs. Older

    See Baby, They really do work.
    I LUV LOVE SCENT ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
    Good Luck with the PI/w, you Super Sexy Love Machine you.

  14. #44
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    Default Re: The Question: Younger vs. Older

    I\'d always tell the truth, FTR. If you lie about things, you have to keep track of what lies you\'ve told, and to whom. And that\'s way too much mental overhead for me to maintain, a la \"oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive.\"

    I\'m thinking you must have meant \'lies of omission.\" That applies... but what is a good time to bring up, \"oh, by the way, you\'re cognizant that I\'m 44, aren\'t you?\"

    If I were to make a point of mentioning my age too early, I\'m afraid of sometimes being presumptious, if I had misread the girl\'s degree of interest. And if I wait longer, trying to gauge with more certainty what her feeling/intentions are, then it seems more awkward to bring up the subject of my age. Aw, screw it, I don\'t think I can explain it sufficiently... lol

    Actually, what I often do is this: I don\'t follow up on interest expressed by girls in their early 20s, because it\'s easier to let them wonder (why I didn\'t follow up) than it is to risk the hit to my ego if they WOULD run screaming into the night to find out that I\'m 44-- So there\'s my confession... And so I don\'t try to follow up or follow through with pursuing things further...

    Any woman who goes out with me is certainly entitled to know my age, beyond the shadow of a doubt. I just don\'t want to sustain the rejection that would sometimes follow revealing my age to 20-something girls that I really do like and maybe feel a chemistry with...

    It doesn\'t escape me that I must have left a few younger women confused or disappointed because I didn\'t follow up on their interest in me -- especially when I clearly enjoyed talking with them. And it really isn\'t fair to them to just be left hanging simply because of my apparently fragile ego...

    So where\'s a good shot of testosterone when a guy needs it?! lol Look for me on Oprah next week, as we get squared away to straighten out my psyche...


  15. #45
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    Default Re: The Question: Younger vs. Older

    Aw, c\'mon now Gerund. There\'s always a way to work it into the conversation. And they don\'t run screaming, although some of them might react in disbelief...there was a guy half my age where I used to work five years ago, not a flaw on him, smart as a whip and funny oh my god...he complimented my laugh and I said Well, I\'ve had 40 years to perfect it, and he stood there aghast and kept saying \"You\'re 40 years old? You\'re FORTY YEARS OLD? MAN!\" whereupon I felt like Bart Simpson, Don\'t have a cow, man. We remained the best of friends. Had to, now that everyone in the file room and docketing knew my age. :-) Tease her, say, what\'s a cute young thing like you doing goin\' after a man old enough to be your daddy? I\'d like to take you out sometime but you\'re too young (she\'ll think: I\'ll show you who\'s young! I\'m not too young!)...say It\'s a shame you\'re such a little girl, we could have some big fun together (what do you mean?! little girl? I\'m 20 years old!) say oh, honey, I\'m 44, I\'m way too old for you (oh, but i like older men)

    You can work it in. Ask her what music she likes and when she starts naming bands, start talking about Zeppelin and Floyd and say well, what do you expect from a 44 year old? You\'ll have to teach me about these new bands, I\'m not up to speed. Where\'s a good place to go hear music?

    C\'mon Gerund. :-)

    I dunno, I guess it\'s the difference between whether you want the Bandaid pulled off in one quick jerk or whether you want it eased off slow and agonizing, but if it\'s gonna hurt, it\'s gonna hurt, and I guess I\'m for the get it over with up front method. If she\'s going to reject you for age, it\'ll happen one way or another, and if she doesn\'t, and is under the impression you\'re significantly younger and goes out with you under false pretences, then you\'re going to look like a seducer when the truth comes out, and it will.

    Hey, so when\'s your birthday? December? What year? oh my god, I can\'t believe that, really? I was a senior in high school the year you were born.

    Refer to things that happened \"back in my day\" and wait for her to ask you what you\'re talking about, then say well, I was born in such and such year, you know...

    If it\'s at work, find a way to refer to the fact you\'ve been at this business x number of years and did x and y before that, and watch her do the math in her head and then tell her Oh, I\'m 44, you didn\'t know that? Oh, yeah, um hm. and just let her deal with it.

    etc etc


  16. #46
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    Default Re: The Question: Younger vs. Older

    I date women that are in their 20s, I\'m in my 40s and I never tell them unless asked, and then try to sleep with them before I tell them.

    After they\'ve already slept with me, they seem to be more willing to accept the age difference... it\'s a psychological fact that if you\'ve done something you tend to think of why it was a good idea!

  17. #47
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    Default Re: The Question: Younger vs. Older

    I think that\'s common.

    But hey - your world, I just live in it...

  18. #48
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    Default Re: The Question: Younger vs. Older

    Yep, you\'re right, FTR. Good stuff.

    And I really had to chuckle at your proposed remark about me telling a girl that I was a senior in high scool the year she was born, because that remark or something very similar to it has occurred to me probably 100 times~ lol

    Well, we can\'t say life doesn\'t get interestinger and interestinger as we get older... [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif[/img]

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