Blue Bottle Diaries

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I guess you guys are right. However, I can\'t possibly ask her out at least for the next 10 days. I\'ll be really busy with a startup business I\'m launching pretty soon and my usual job. Did I mentioned before that I\'m also taking graduate classes in a local university? The worst is that in order to pay for them I work several hours twice a week as a TA. I probably will not show up at her store this week so I do not repeat my usual performance of talking to her without being able to ask her out due time constraints. Too bad I missed this game opportunity.

DAY 26

Went to the big game. No single girls in the group I was with. At midtime, I went for a couple of beers and when I was coming back I felt someone pulled my shirt. I looked back and it was a girl who was smiling at me. I say hi, even though I did not recognize her. I have no idea who she was. Maybe she works in one of the stores. She wasn\'t my type but I got curious and wanted to find out where she knew me from. Then I noticed that besides her was a big guy looking at me with a very serious expresion and then he put his arm around her waist. I said how you doin\' man? to the guy and he looked confused. I left, didn\'t want to find out more.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Lomo,

Here’s a little pep talk, even if you’re not interested in this girl use it as practice for the next one. Just call her on the telephone and be honest, tell her you’ve got so many things going on right now that you’ve had no time to call, but you’d really like to see her outside of work one night, you just don\'t know when you\'ll be free. She WILL understand and tell you it’s okay. Here’s the thing, she basically threw herself at you when you spoke about the game and how it would have been nice to go together (even though she obviously HATES the sport). She’s already made the first move and now it’s completely up to you. The choices are simple, choose one and go with it:

A. You convince yourself that you’re too busy for her and won’t be able to talk to her for the next 10 days, etc... She comes to the conclusion that you don’t like her, she moves on and so do you.

B. You call and explain yourself to show her you’re interested and you jam your foot in the door. She’ll still think of you as a potential date even a few weeks down the road, whether or not you ask her out.

Don’t let this opportunity close, cause once it happens you WILL regret it. If you want to convince yourself that you are too busy then my advice is to walk away at this second and never think about her again. Cause I promise once those 10 days pass by she really won’t give a shit about you!

Dylan

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I disagree Randy, Lomo should not apologized profusely to the girl. Instead he should consider asking her if there is something wrong and see what she says.

The worst thing a man can do is supplicate to a woman. I know I sound like Doc Love, but he is right and admitting wrong to a hypersensitive woman will not increase his chances with her.

A lot of times a woman will flirt with a man and she might even give him her telephone number just to test if he\'s head over heals over her but has no serious interest in him except to tease him.

Last year I met such a woman. She told me to call her and I did, but when it came to arranging a date on two different ocasions, she gave me lame excuses. So the next time I saw her in person, I gave her phone number back to her and told her goodbye. When I got back to my place I found a couple of voice mail messages from her telling me to call her as soon as possible, to which I laughed and quickly erased them. She called me again a few days later when I was home and said that she wanted to go out with me, but I told her that I could not go out with her because I was going out with an old lady friend and I had feelings for her since we\'ve had gotten intimate just two days prior to her call. There was a brief moment of silence before she said \'I\'m sorry, I didn\'t know\' and I said to her \'Don\'t worry. It was nice knowing you\' and I hung up on her.

Many women seem to be attracted to men who do not cater to their whims and reject those men that follow them like puppy dogs. This holds true for the more attractive women than the average looking ones.

But Lomo has more first hand info than we and he can probably make a wiser decision anyway.

Joe


Joe - you da man. Your comments are right on the mark and I totally agree with what you said. Lots of times women just need/want an ego boost or attention so they will play these games that you talked about. I like how you handled that one woman, although I think you could have had your way with her in the end (pardon the pun). Though it goes against my nature, my attitude lately is if you find one that wants to use you for their own selfish purposes, then do the same to them if you get the chance!

Keep up the good work Lomo! Don\'t build \"S\" up in your mind to be something special before asking her out. It just makes asking her out harder and she may just be looking to use you to help her with her math anyway!

Also, I think it is always hardest to find a woman when you are looking for one! <BLOCKQUOTE><font size=\"1\" face=\"Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif\">quote:</font><HR> <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

[jose]

I agree with Dylan, I suggest you call and tell her you will be busy but you would like to take her out to get to know her. Say something like \"I really think your special and I just want to get to know you better.\" If she gives you some excuse well you know you\'re in the \"friendship Zone\" so move on. Take Dylan advice it will be good practice for you.

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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=\"1\" face=\"Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif\">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nico:
Joe - you da man. Your comments are right on the mark and I totally agree with what you said. Lots of times women just need/want an ego boost or attention so they will play these games that you talked about. I like how you handled that one woman, although I think you could have had your way with her in the end (pardon the pun). Though it goes against my nature, my attitude lately is if you find one that wants to use you for their own selfish purposes, then do the same to them if you get the chance!

Keep up the good work Lomo! Don\'t build \"S\" up in your mind to be something special before asking her out. It just makes asking her out harder and she may just be looking to use you to help her with her math anyway!

Also, I think it is always hardest to find a woman when you are looking for one! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


Thanks for those kind words Nico.

The only problem with using a user Nico, is that often times it is a waste of time and sometimes she could try to get revenge for getting a taste of her own medicine and then it can get really messy. I\'d rather jerk myself off thinking about her and me because afterwards I can look at the situation the way it is and proceed to deal with it in a positive way.

It\'s not that I\'m some sort of mysogynist, but there are many women that are the female equivalents of male jerks and we male non-jerks only put up with them because we\'re desperate for female companionship, and more so if they are very attractive. Who needs them.

In fact they are not the enemy, the real enemy is the one we see in the mirror. All the red flags are beign wave by these women, yet we chose to ignore them. In a way we ought to thank them for letting us know what kind of people they are before we seriously get involved with them.

Three things I learned the hard way Nico. One is to never get involved with a woman who is not willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. The second is forget about women that do not want to go out with you. And third is to run as fast as you can from a jealous woman because she can range from beign unfaithful to a wacko with a fatal attraction psychotic personality.

Fortunately the vast majority of women are good and kind human beigns more than worthy of having a good man in their lives. It\'s just a matter of having our eyes open so that when we do find them we don\'t waste the opportunity to make them a part of our lives.

Sorry Lomo for going off track with my rant but if it helps you and the others from making the same stupid mistakes I made then I considered it worth it.

And I agree with Nico, keep up the good work.

Joe

[ July 30, 2001: Message edited by: stressedoutjoe ]

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DAY 27, 28

Uneventful days. Still haven\'t done anything about \'S\'. I\'m not sure what I\'ll do. Thanks guys for the advice. She\'s not my first choice right now, but it\'s probably my best shot. I will do something this weekend if conditions are favorable.


DAY 29

I think I got my first DIHL look. From a good looking coworker. I was walking in a hallway and she suddenly came out of a door and bumped on me. She stared at me for about two seconds and her pupils looked weird. Then she proceeds to look in the direction of my mouth and then straight to my eyes again as when someone wants to kiss you. Then she blushed and hastily left without saying a word.

That was weird. I expected her to say get out of my way or something similar because she is kinda rough, actually she wants to be viewed as rough.

She is married, so there will be no follow up for this incident. Later,

[**DONOTDELETE**]

DAY 30, 31

Nothing new. I\'ve been very sleepy and not really paying a lot of attention to possible reactions.

Day 32

Felt better today. I finally called S, the math class girl from the store. We chatted for while about how our week went. She even asked me how was the game. I asked her if she still wanted the classes and she said that she does. I explained that I was very busy. She said she understood. She asked how much it will be for the classes. As a joke I told her that maybe we could make a deal:

she would have to teach me how to dance. She said ok. So, after each class we\'ll be going to a club to dance. Too bad she works night shifts this week and the next one.

[a.k.a.]

Good work, Lomo!
[img]images/icons/cool.gif[/img]
Dancing is not only fun, but, when pheros are involved, it can easily turn into foreplay.

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Day 33
Sunday. I went to a mall and got several stares from girls and women. None of them GIWLTGOW.

Day 34
Uneventful day.

Day 35 Loooooooooooog post!
A really cool day! After three days I went back to the store. \"S\" was not there. However, \"I\" the other girl who is very flirty saw me and called my name. I went to talk with her and she started showing me some new essential oils. Have I mentioned that\'s her job? Selling essential oils. She started opening the little bottles, covering the labels and putting them close to my nose while asking me to guess. Made me remember a scene of \"9 1/2 Weeks\". Now, I\'m really bad at that. The first time I learned what an essential oil was, was about two months ago when I found out about this site. So I couldn\'t guess a single one. She said which one I liked better. I don\'t know how in the hell I came out with this response, but I actually put my nose close to her hair and said this one. She had this huge smile and then did the same to me right where I put the PI/YY and said that I smelled nice, and asked what I put on. I told her that since she was the expert I wasn\'t gonna tell her.
I thought she should know about Ylang-Ylang, but maybe the YY smell had faded since this was hours after I applied it.

All this happened while we both where on duty and there where plenty of coworkers and customers around. I\'m still surprised at this exchange mainly because these are not normal Lomo daily ocurrences and behaviours. I\'m starting to like this.

Then we starting talking about a coming party for coworkers. Another one, can you believe it? Well, remember that we have several stores in the city and each one employees organize a party or two per year. And I get invited to all of them because I always save their asses when they screw up the computers! She asked me if I was gonna go and guess what, I said that I didn\'t dance well, so I would feel out of place if I go, unless of course she would dance with me. So she said I should go because she \"will take care of that\" What the hell that means?

Anyway, I\'m amazed at how easily I now make up all this stuff to tell women while I\'m talking with them. Maybe since I feel that pheros help me get and maintain their attention, my mind is free to think stuff quickly. But I better start making up different stories for the GIWLTGOW because I realize that, by now, I have told three girls in the same store the \"I do not know how to dance, would you teach me?\" line. I hope they don\'t talk about this when they are in the ladies\' room because if they do I\'m in trouble.

Also, what should I do the night of the party? I hope either \"S\" or \"I\" will be on duty, but not both. This is getting wierd, I now have problems that I\'m not prepared to deal with.

I\'m thinking about going after \"I\" since she is sending me these strong signals. Also, the fact that she is the one taking the initiative makes it very easy for my conscience. For my conscience it is a whole different story when I\'m the one trying to pickup a girl I\'m physically attracted to but who I don\'t consider as long term relationship material. Maybe I\'m too nice guy.

After work I made a quick stop in a pub to have a beer. I walked to the bar and asked for a beer. There was a girl there talking to a guy. I couldn\'t see her face. But as soon as I asked for the beer she rotated her head towards me almost 180 degrees really fast. She must have been related to the little girl in The Exorcist, I guess. And gave me the DIHL. I was kinda frozen because it was really weird and could only a hi. She went like: Heeeeeeeeeellooooooooo, real slow and low. Then the guy she was with grabed back her attention. I moved to the other end of the bar and she would occassionally look in my direction for the duration of my beer. She wasn\'t my type so I let it pass.

[jose]

Good work Lomo, don\'t put so much pressure on yourself your doing a good job. If you go to the party and they\'re both their, just be yourself. You might get one jealous of the other one and that\'s a plus. I see your confidence level is up, already the Pheromones are working for you with the women you want to go out with. [img]images/icons/laugh.gif[/img]
http://home.earthlink.net/~joselg

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Cold blooded, yes
Oportunistic, probably so. I\'ll give you this one.
Irresponsible, I don\'t think so.

I think my words didn\'t exactly convey mi thoughts. What I mean is that I do not have the heart to be the one telling bullshit, and lies to girls. In other words, I will not go out of my way to convince girls I do not imagine myself having a serious relationship.

If the girl is the one throwing herself at me, I will make sure that once we are going past the flirting stage, I will warn her that I\'m not sure if I\'m doing the right thing because I\'m not sure if I want this to go further. I do not like to mislead girls. I do not want to create expectations I will not be able to fulfill.

Of course, this warning thing has ruined me several potential relationships. But in this cases I prefer the girl to know what to expect and what not to expect from me. As I said, giving the girl upfront the chance to decide if she wants to take the risk makes me feel more in peace with my conscience.

If the girls accepts these facts as it happened once, then we could see what develops. I\'ll tell you that my best relationship ever came from a situation like I\'m describing. I went out with a girl I wasn\'t 100% sure several times. Then when things started getting serious, but BEFORE any sex was involved, I told her that I liked going out with her, but wasn\'t sure if I wanted to get committed. I told her I didn\'t want to create great expectations and I didn\'t want to hurt her later. She said that she understood the situation and asked me to live day to day. It ended up being the best relationship I have had. And it only ended when she had to go back to her home country. We still write each other regularly.

I do not think showing your cards is irresponsible. I think it helps people understand where they stand and makes them able to take their own decisions.

[a.k.a.]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=\"1\" face=\"Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif\">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lomo Plateado:
I\'m thinking about going after \"I\" since she is sending me these strong signals. Also, the fact that she is the one taking the initiative makes it very easy for my conscience. For my conscience it is a whole different story when I\'m the one trying to pickup a girl I\'m physically attracted to but who I don\'t consider as long term relationship material. Maybe I\'m too nice guy.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Actually, that doesn’t sound very nice at all. It sounds rather cold blooded, irresponsible and opportunistic.

[a.k.a.]

Lomo,
First of all, I’m in no position to judge you and, second of all, I don’t have all the facts. So maybe we can agree that whatever I have to say is already wrong, on principle. But, since I’ve already managed to offend you, I might as well elaborate.
The way I see it, if a girl is agreeing to dance with you and is sniffing you and telling you how good you smell, she’s hot for you. If I understand you correctly, you don’t see her as soul-mate, spouse, or girlfriend. You haven’t mentioned anything that might indicate she sees you as soul-mate, spouse, or boyfriend. On the contrary, since this is all pheromone related, it’s reasonable to assume that she sees you as a sex object and doesn’t want things to get any more complicated than you do.
Since you got her all hot with your pheromones, and since you sent some pretty clear signals of desire, I think it’s your responsibility to make the first move. If it turns out she’s not interested in casual sex, then the responsible thing is to be honest — like you said. But you’re talking about what might happen in the future, and I’m talking about what’s going on right now.
I’m not trying to figure out if you’re a good guy or a bad guy. I’m trying to figure out what’s keeping you from getting laid. Is it being too nice or is it failure to take the initiative?
At any rate, sorry for butting in, please take my coments with a grain of salt, and I hope you’re successful.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

a.k.a., no offense was taken. I just wanted to elaborate more just as you did.

Right now nothing has happened. She just flirts with me, I just flirt with her. I guess we both are waiting to see what develops. I haven\'t even asked for her phone number or asked her out. I\'m probably thinking too much about what might happen in the future, based in my past experience.

Gotta catch a flight in the airport in a few hours. Later.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

to lomo man,

I\'ve read all of the spin posts here and it\'s very entertaining. This message is in regards to your last few posts.

Right now you see deers in your headlights (the girls), either pull on the trigger or let them run free.

These girls are expecting you (as the man) to do something. By doing nothing, confusion then frustration will set in. All leading towards your widow of oppurtunity to be shut down.

I personaly woudn\'t date anygirl that\'s in my working environment. because in no way can it improve the business. It can only go down. Most of us have experienced the post-break up scene. It\'s ugly. Especialy at work. the girls talks about you(rumors) behind your back. Tell her girlsfriend to give you the cold shoulder and etc....

Good luck Lomo, may the force of the Phero\'s be with you.