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  1. #1
    Full Member The Real FTR's Avatar
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    Jun 2006
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    Default Kept In A Mason Jar, Under Funk & Wagnal's Porch ... Eow, The Beta Test Formula

    Hi, boys and girls! Can't believe I'm back here. I was reading my testimonial from the year 2002 ... and now it is 2012, and I have passed menopause and been happily celibate for five years. EXCEPT ... somehow missing the attention I used to get as a female. Well, I'm still working in the same office I worked in then, and I just found out I was going to get a new male attorney to support, and I felt a little panicky. It's been awhile since I've had a brand spanking new 1st year to train. Then all of a sudden it hit me -- I still had that tiny magic bottle of beta test Essence of a Woman on the top shelf at the back of the closet, wrapped tightly in plastic wrap, sealed in two different zip locks, put into a mason jar and on lock down, lest the scent escape. I haven't used it since way back in the day. So today I put a dab on (WHEW ye gods quel stank), did some of my signature scent to cover, and came on to work ... and no one was there, it being the day before the holiday ... until very late. My boss dropped in with his girlfriend, who has been cool to me the past few times I've seen her, but this time she ran over to me and declared she needed to give me a big hug, and she held on for quite awhile, and then stood very close to me as we chatted and caught up a bit. After they left, this gorgeous younger man who has been trying to talk to me for the past few weeks stopped by my desk. Tonight, his rap was suddenly all about the many ways in which he could please me. All of a sudden, it was all about doing whatever little thing I might want. I got quite a chuckle out of this. Yup, da shit still works just like it always did. It's been sealed up in that jar for the better part of a decade, but as soon as you take the lid off, the genie appears.

    Just thought I'd pass this along as a way of saying hi, and that I'm back here buying cops again to supplement my Primal Unscented, 'cause I need just that extra little boost in my old age.

    Love to the forum,

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
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    Just remember to rub gently lest the genie get angry.
    The five senses are all well and true but how good are they really against true fondness and kind of heart?

  3. #3
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    Oct 2002
    Lower Slovobia
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    Hey Red!

    Good to see you are still around and confusing the younguns. Hope you are doing well.
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

  4. #4
    Administrator Bruce's Avatar
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    Jun 2001
    Eugene, Oregon
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    Well hello! Nice to "see" you again. My wife dumped me a few years back and I now remember my kids' names. Actually, it was a little rough at first, but we are having a blast now. Also learned how to dance and fly a plane as a result. Flew to Texas and gave Bel a ride in my plane in fact. Stayed at his house and we had some awesome Indian food! What else... started a couple of businesses which were fun for a while, but I'm back working on LS again.

    To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one's family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one's own mind. If a man can control his mind he can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him.

    - Buddha

    Yoga in Eugene
    Fair Trade crafts from Peru

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